chapter 3.

the bearing of the first heir

The second the words left his father’s mouth, Mark felt his world crumble.

He had known. Of course he had always known. He was born into this world as an heir of a global empire. Everything in his life was planned for him. Marriage was no different. Mark knew since he was young that he would be arranged to marry someone his father see fit. Or someone who would also benefit his father in certain way.

Wendy was a nice girl.

She had always been one of the brightest girl in school. She was also pretty enought to caught Mark’s attention. They had been dating for a little over two years, but only because they were told to. Mark had found out one day that she was the daughter of one of his father’s biggest investors. He thought it was reasonable to date her because it was what his father would’ve wanted to.

But it didn’t hurt any less to hear that they were going to be married soon.

Mark’s thoughts instantly went to a certain dark-haired man who usually stood by him. How Mark had never gotten the chance to actually tell him how he trully feels.

~

Jinyoung burst into Mark’s room that night, startling the older boy from his train of thoughts. A wide smile plastered on his face. “Why didn’t you tell me that you’re engaged?”

“I... forgot, Jinyoung,” Mark replied through a forced smile. It was the only excuse he could think of.

“Heol, how can you forget telling your best friend such an important news! I’m sad,” Jinyoung pouted.

Because I don’t want to tell you. Because I hope this is just a dream, that I’m not really getting married. Please tell me you don’t agree with this idea, tell me you hate this idea.

But of course those words never left Mark’s mouth.

He just stood there like a statue as Jinyoung pulled him into a sudden hug. “I’m very happy for you, Mark Tuan. Wendy is a lucky lady to have you.”

Mark’s heart ached. Please don’t be happy for me. He could only hugged Jinyoung back, burrying his face in the crook of his shadow’s neck. Inhaling the faint scent of Jinyoung’s cologne as he tried to stop the tears falling from his eyes. Mark never even realized that his own shoulder was wet from Jinyoung’s tears.

~

Mark remembered how his heart skipped a beat the first time he saw Jinyoung.

The boy all curled up in a dark alley, looking completely lost. If it were any other boy, Mark wouldn’t bat another eye and would walk away. But he felt drawn to Jinyoung. One look into those round brown orbs of Jinyoung’s, and Mark was completely gone.

So Mark asked him to live with him. Without a second thought of what could happen or the consequences.

~

He didn’t knew when precisely , but as time goes by, he realize that he had developed deeper feelings for Jinyoung. It all started when overheard the maids gossip with each other as Mark passed by. They were talking about how good looking Jinyoung was and how extremely kind he was being to everyone. One of them even went to the extent of wanting Jinyoung to fall in love with her, because who wouldn’t want to receive Jinyoung’s love.

It was then Mark felt his heart boiled for the first time.

It bothers him every time Jinyoung flashed his warm smile to someone who is not Mark. It bothers him that Yugyeom gets to be clingy around Jinyoung and gets to hug him whenever he wanted to. It bothers him because he can’t do all those things with Jinyoung. Because Jinyoung was his shadow. And Mark was his Master.

~

Mark finally understood what shadow means when he was 18.

He had sneaked out late one night and made friends with few street kids that used to lurk near his house. They looked hungry so Mark decided to treat them to dinner.

But then one of the guards found him.

He was brought instantly into a cold, dark room he hadn’t known exist in his house. His father was already there, sitting with a cold expression. Jinyoung was soon brought into the room with two guards by his sides. He looked just as confused as Mark.

The guards took off Jinyoung’s shirt without further explanations and tied his wrists. They saw one of them holding a whip and they both realized what was about to happened. Mark screamed, telling them to stop, only to be silenced by his father.

Mark looked helplessly at Jinyoung, but the latter gave him this soft look. As if trying to tell Mark that everything was going to be okay. So he stopped. And he watched as Jinyoung face the whipping unflinchingly. Even when the leather sliced and ripped off the surface oh his back, Jinyoung took it all without a sob of pain even when Mark himself flinched just from watching.

When he came into Jinyoung’s room late that night, shocking the rest of the maids, he offered to treat Jinyoung’s wounds. Headbutler Im was kind enough to shoo away the lurking servants so the two can have their privacy. Mark rubbed the medicated balm across Jinyoung’s back as he utter his apologies in tears. On the outside, he was a compassionate friend and master. On the inside, he was awashed in the smolder of satisfaction that everyone now knew whom it was that Jinyoung really belonged to.

The maids soon stopped talking about Jinyoung after that night.

~

Maybe it was wrong, but Mark couldn’t help himself.

His lust made him blind and defeat all common sense. Mart turned a blind eye and ignore all rules and consequences  when he decided to a girl he picked up from the street. She was all wrong for him. She was soft yielding flesh when all he wanted was hard muscle. He slid into her and felt, for a split second, that he was complete. But when he realized that he had been pretending it was a certain boy beneath him instead of her, Mark knew it felt wrong.

Then Mark thought it might have been men he favored. But he ended up always looking for men with a certain type. Someone who was slightly taller than him, with hair jet black like the darkest night sky, maybe sometimes even someone with the same name. But after looking into the face of his latest conquest, and still seeing his face imprinted there instead, Mark had never felt so disgusted and hopeless with himself all at once.

Once he spilled his seed all over the other man’s stomach, Mark quickly pulled out and get dressed. He threw money on the bed and told him to get the hell out.

The man left, slamming the door shut behind him. Mark sighed and slumped on the edge of his messy bed. Hair a bit disarray and limbs a bit tired. The door opened once again and Mark didn’t have to lift his eyes to know who it was.

“Another notch in your bed post, Mark?” Jinyoung wanted to joke, but his trembling voice betrayed him.

“You heard the whole thing?” Of course he did. Mark always made sure that he was loud enough for everyone to hear what happened in his bedroom when he had ‘visitors’. For Jinyoung to hear. “Sorry.” Except he wasn’t. Not really.

“Master,” he never heard Jinyoung’s voice so weak before, “why do you keep doing this to yourself?”

Because I can’t have you, Jinyoung. Because I kept searching someone who looks just like you. Because no matter how much I love you, I can never have you.

But instead of saying those things, Mark only smirk. “Because it’s fun.”

Every night after his little conquests, Mark would be brought to the dark chambers. As did Jinyoung. And he watched night after night of Jinyoung being punished for the sins that he didn’t even do. Though this was a secret that Mark would carry with him to the grave, he took a small sense of satisfaction in watching Jinyoung getting whipped. Because every scars marked him as Mark’s.

~
 

On the day of his wedding, Mark sighed as he stared at his own reflection in the mirror. His hair was perfectly coiffed, his sleek-black suit was specifically tailored, his future-bride had even taken the liberty of choosing a red tie to match his suit. Future-bride. Mark winced at the thought. He really didn’t want to go through with this wedding.

“You’re killing him,” Yugyeom broke the silence.

Mark hadn’t even noticed the fact that his brother was sitting there the whole time. “Who?” he asked, confused.

“Jinyoung.”

“I’m not killing him.”

Yugyeom scoffed, “There is more than one way to kill a man, older brother. And you are giving him the most painful death of all.” And with that one last of parting shot, Yugyeom took his leave.

~

Jinyoung sat on his usual spot on the rooftop. He tried his best to hold back his tears as he watch the wedding ceremony that was about to take place on the backyard below him. He was about to watch Mark recite his vow, pledging himself to a woman that was soon to be his wife.

He tried so hard not to cry. Jinyoung had promised himself that he was going to be happy for Mark. But he choked. His tears began to fall as he began to crumble to his knees and sobbed. He couldn’t contain it anymore. It hurts too much.

“Hyung?”

Jinyoung quickly wiped away his tears and composed himself as he heard Yugyeom’s voice. Yugyeom sat beside him in silence. Jinyoung faced away so the younger wouldn’t be able to see the tears that just kept falling on his cheeks. They didn’t say a thing to each other. They stayed that way for a while.

“The wedding is starting.”

“I know, Yugyeom.”

“You know he doesn’t love you, right?” Yugyeom asked.

“I know.” Jinyoung repeated himself.

“Doesn’t it hurt, hyung?” This time Jinyoung didn’t answer.

Why coudn’t Jinyoung love him?

Why couldn’t he sacrificed everything for Yugyeom instead of Mark?

Why couldn’t Yugyeom have anything?

“Why couldn’t you love me instead hyung?” Yugyeom cried.

Jinyoung finally turned to face Yugyeom for the first time that day. He captured Yugyeom’s chin, leaned up and kissed him. “Because I just kissed you now yet I pretended that you were him.” The older carefully stood up and made his way towards the door before leaving the rooftop behind him.

~

Mark didn’t recall seeing Jinyoung all through the wedding ceremony. But maybe it was a good thing that he didn’t. Mark couldn’t imagine going through with the wedding at all if Jinyoung had been there. He wouldn’t have the will to utter his wedding vow to Wendy.

They soon proceed with the wedding reception. It was only a small one with few family and friends from both sides. It was Mark’s request to have a small wedding. He didn’t see the need to have a huge celebration. Because what is there to celebrate?

“Excuse me, Wendy-noona, may I steal your husband for a moment?” Yugyeom asked suddenly so sweetly to his new sister-in-law.

Wendy smiled back, “Of course, Yugyeom.”

Yugyeom turned to his older brother, “I need to talk to you, Mark,” he said as he grabbed the man by the wrist.

Mark was quite startled. It was the first time Yugyeom called him by his name without any form of formalities. Yugyeom had led them into a small part of their house that was empty without anyone around to disturb them. “What is it you want to talk about, Yugyeom?”

“Why can’t you just tel him you’re in love with him and get this over with?” Yugyeom hissed.

“What are you talking about?”

“Jinyoung. Tell him you love him.”

The expression on Mark’s face tightened. Tons of questions lingered in his head. How did his little brother found out about his feelings was one of them. His face fell just for a moment before he quickly picked his feelings up and looked at his brother with his usual indifferent expression. “It won’t make any difference now, will it? I’m married,” he said, showing the silver band that now lingered on his ring finger. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go back to my wife.”

Yugyeom clenched his fist, “You don’t deserve Jinyoung, Mark,” he spat.

Mark halted. He turned half-way to face Yugyeom, “I know, he deserves better,” he whispered, then he made his way back to the receptions.

When Mark returned, he was just in time for the wedding pictures. They took few pictures with his parents, then with Wendy’s parents, and last one with just two of them. The ‘happy’ bride and groom. 

After the last picture of him and Wendy was shot, Mark thought he could finally shed off that fake smile he had maintained for the past few hours. But then he heard Wendy calling a name that was too familiar to his ears.

“Jinyoung~ah! Come take a picture with us!”

Jinyoung merely smiled and walked towards the newlyweds. He wished his master a hearty congratulation with a small bow. The photographer then told Jinyoung to stand beside the bride. The servant obliged and took his place. Smiling courtesly as the picture being took.

Afterwards, Jinyoung talked to Wendy for a small bit, much to Mark’s discomfort. He offered needless advices and shared few embarrassing stories about Mark’s past. Wendy laughed quietly behind her hand at every story. She then handed a print of their picture together which Jinyoung graciously accepts.

Later when the party had died down and Jinyoung was left alone in the rooftop once again, he took one last glance at the picture. Which he later shred down to pieces.

** I've finally updated this one! this one is Mark's side of the story. I hope you guys like this chapter. Only one more chapter to go!

~seoksoo92