chapter 2. 

Tuan Yugyeom

When you already have an heir, the second was nothing but a spare.

That's what Yugyeom have learned for years since the day he was born. 

He was born in the same hospital as his brother. But unlike his brother, his father didn't bother asking for the most luxurious room with the best doctor to deliver him. No, Yugyeom came into the world like a single commoner without making a fuss. It lacked the fanfare and festivity compared to his brother's birth. His father didn't bother showing up as it was just another footnote in his agenda. Apparently a meeting with his biggest investor was more important than the birth of his own flesh and blood.

Being the second child also meant Yugyeom had spent growing up alone. He has lived in a whole different building from his brother and grew up in the care of multiple servants. Both of his parents were too busy taking care of their future heir so they were never really there for Yugyeom. Because Mark was all they care about. 

Mark would often secretly walked to Yugyeom's side of the house, as he was forbidden to have any contact with his brother, and stay with him. Mark would always tell Yugyeom that he was indeed loved, if not by their parents then at least loved by Mark. He would also tell Yugyeom how sorry he was how things came together. He thanked Yugyeom for being so understanding. 

Yes, Tuan Yugyeom was used to be alone. 

He was used to sitting by himself watching the clock goes by. To people not caring what and how he feels. He was used to the cold surrounding him. 

The day a certain Park Jinyoung wiped away the tears from his cheeks was the first time he felt warmth in years. The first time he felt someone actually cared for him and would stop whatever they were doing just to talk to the invisible boy. It was the first time Yugyeom felt he cared about someone else, even if it was toward his brother's shadow. 

Ever since he was introduced to Jinyoung, Yugyeom would always took the back door when he gets home from school. He would take the long way route to his room and visit the kitchen, where all the servants and maids would lounge during their free time. Where he knew Jinyoung would be. 

"Oh, Yugyeommie, you're home!" Jinyoung would always greets him with the widest smile, his eyes crinkled as he did so. He patted the empty chair beside him, "come sit with hyung, Gyeommie." 

And Yugyeom would always make his way to sit beside Jinyoung. Nobody would care anyway. Nobody would take a second glance. Because Yugyeom was only the second son, and he was almost equal to everyone else in the room. 

"Jinyoung~ah, you sometimes forget that he's also the son of our Master," headbutler Im scolded between the sips of his ginger tea. 

"I never forget, Jaebum-hyung, but Yugyeom is just so cute that I just can't help it if I want to treat him like my own little brother!" Jinyoung would say as he pinch the younger's cheek. "Mark said it's okay too." 

"Master," Jaebum corrected him sternly with a cold glare. "I regret telling you that you can call me by my name, now you hardly show me any respect or call me 'headbutler' anymore."

Jinyoung just rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Yugyeom. "Have you eaten anything? The cook made us red been soup, but if you want something else I can cook it for you," he offered.

"No, Jinyoung-hyung, I just ate."

"Are you sure? I can make something real quick," Jinyoung looked at his wristwatch. "I have to pick up your brother in a few minutes. At least let me make you some tea, okay?" 

Yugyeom just nodded and gratefully accepted the warm cup of tea shoved into his hand. "You better get going, Jinyoung-hyung. Father will scold you if you don't pick brother up in time." 

Jinyoung shrugged into his jacket, "Don't worry, I'll tell the driver to speed up," he winked. "I'll see you later, Gyeommie," Jinyoung ruffled the younger boy's hair before finally leaving. 

If there was ever one thing sure in Tuan Yugyeom's life, it was that he was quite fond of his brother's shadow.

~

Unlike his older brother Mark, not much was expected from Yugyeom. Nobody ever pressured him about his studies, although he still maitained good grades. He didn't have to take any extra lessons or the effort to learn foreign languages other than the ones he already fluent in. Nothing was expected of Yugyeom. He was just some other statue, an empty shell,  in the Tuan household that filled the family picture to make it look nice. 

Yugyeom wasn't given a shadow. No one had to follow him all around watching his every move. Which gave him more opportunity to watch the people arround him.

To watch how soft headbutler Im really was despite his stoic and stiff appearance. 

To watch how the maids would gossip a lot durring their free time in the kitchen. 

To watch how cruel his father was to the people beneath him and how ignorant he was. 

To watch how much his brother Mark suffered because of their father and Jinyoung too, because of him.

Yugyeom never quite understand, being so young at the time. He had heard from the maids gossiping in corridor one day that their father had been so mad at Mark. Screaming at him from the top of his lungs because his brother merely befriended some street kids. And ever since that day, Jinyoung began to wear dark clothes. Even when the sun was high. 

"Hyung," he called when he and Jinyoung were sitting alone in the kitchen. It was the only place the two of them can really talk before Jinyoung leave to follow Mark again. "It's Summer, won't you get hot wearing that black shirt all the time?" Yugyeom asked, trying to sound nonchalant. 

Jinyoung stiffened, he tugged on his long sleeves. "I just find that black suits me best," he replied through forced smiles. 

Yugyeom wanted to ask more, ad he knew that wasn't the real reason. But as usual he kept his mouth shut and just enjoyed Jinyoung's company. 

~ 

Yugyeom had been watching for years now. 

How Park Jinyoung, his favorite hyung, deteriorated. His skin had gotten pale, the circles under his eyes darkened, and he had lost a lot of weigth that his clothes hung lose around him. Yugyeom was worried. There were a lot of questions in his head. 

Is he okay? 

What really happened?

What did Mark do to him?

There were tons of times where Yugyeom had almost asked Jinyoung. To demand some answers from the man he had grown fond of. But Jinyoung would always sense it, as if he could see through Yugyeom's eyes, and would always somehow change the subject. 

"Jinyoung?" A head poked inside the kitchen one afternoon, disterupting the conversation between Jinyoung and Yugyeom. It was Mark. Yugyeom's expression quickly turned sour as his brother, the heir, walked his way to stand beside Jinyoung. "I have to go watch a play tonight, A Midsummer Night's Dream is playing. Do you want to go with me? I know you like plays so I thought I asked."

Jinyoung looked startled, "H,how did you know?" 

"Am I wrong? I heard you talking about it with headbutler Im the other night, so I just assumed," Mark shrugged. His eyes then glanced towards his little brother. "Or were you two doin something?" he asked
 
"Actually we're,-"

"Not doing anything. I can go if you want me to," Jinyoung cut Yugyeom's word. Rewarded by a hurtful look om the younger's face. 

Mark smiled and straightened himself, "We'll leave at 8, so I will meet you at the front door then. Yugyeom?"

Yugyeom stood, smiling half-heartedly at his brother, "Yes, brother?" 

"Can you lend him a suit? You're about the same size now, so I think he'll fit into yours better than mine." 

Yugyeom pulled Jinyoung by the shoulder. Since his recent growth spurt, Yugyeom was now as tall as Jinyoung. "Don't worry, I'll even lend him my best suit!" he offered. 

"Oh, Gyeommie, you don't have to,-" 

"You'd do that," Mark silenced his shadow. Jinyoung bowed awkwardly and watched as Mark left the kitchen without further word. 

Yugyeom quickly led Jinyoung into his room. Jinyoung was a bit baffled at first because he had never stepped foot into that part of the house before. The older sat idly as Yugyeom began to search his wardrobe for the best suit for Jinyoung. 

"You don't have to lend me your best suit, Gyeommie. Your old ones will do," Jinyoung assured him. 

Yugyeom scoffed, "Incase you haven't noticed, in this family, what Mark says goes." He pulled out a pair of dark navy suit. "And the best servant of Mark Tuan is far a lot more important than the second son." 

Jinyoung's heart ached for Yugyeom, "That's not true, Gyeommie. You're important to me." 

The second son shrugged it off as if it were nothing. He handed Jinyoung the suit, "You can change there," he pointed at his private bathroom. 

Jinyoung nodded, almost making his way towards the bathroom before Yugyeom clapped his back. He dropped down on his knees almost instantly. Wincing as he felt the new skin on his back sliced open again.

"Jinyoung-hyung! Hyung are you okay?" Yugyeom knelt beside him, asking over and over again.

Yugyeom was about to touch Jinyoung's back again. "DON'T!" the latter cried, almost slapping away Yugyeom's hand, making the boy shuddered in the background. "I'm... fine," he tried to surpress a groan as he stood up. 

"Hyung, I'm sorry..." Yugyeom sobbed. 

"It's okay, not your fault. I promise you I'm fine," Jinyoung said through a weak smile. "I just have a bad back, so you have to mind it." 

LIES. 

The younger just nodded weakly, wiping the tears that dwelled on his eyes. Jinyoung stayed still for awhile, just to make sure Yugyeom was okay, before making his way to the bathroom and changed.

~

Yugyeom stood by Jinyoung's side as they both waited for Mark. Jinyoung had been looking particularly happy as he just could not stopped smiling. It made Yugyeom wonder whether it was the excitement of seeing the play or of spending time with Mark. He couldn't quite figure it out yet. 

When Mark finally came with a beautifully dressed Wendy by his side, Yugyeom noticed the smile on Jinyoung's face faltered. It was then he knew it was the second. 

~ 

A few years went by and Yugyeom was now practically an adult. At 18, he could now understand things better. He was a lot smarter and a lot wiser. But just as naive. 

He could tell by now how Jinyoung was in love with his brother. 

He could see it from Jinyoung's eyes. From the way his body gravitates towards Mark's everytime. And the way both men moved and breathed as if they were one. 

Yugyeom could also tell how miserable his brother had made Jinyoung. 

Even through his crinkled smiles, Yugyeom could see Jinyoung was hurting deep inside. Something seemed off about him. Everytime someone, or even something, touched his back Jinyoung would yelped in pain. Jinyoung woul never tell him why no matter how many times Yugyeom had asked. 

"Kunpimook," he called one of the servants. Servants were always the best source of information. They always knew what was going on inside the household better than anyone else. "Do you know what's wrong with Jinyoung-hyung?"

The young servant looked at his master in hesitation. "Are you sure you want to know?" Kunpimook stuttered. 

"Yes, I do." 

"It's better that you don't know, master," Kunpimook told him. "And Jinyoung-hyung wouldn't want you to know either. He had told us to make sure you never find out, so I don't think,-"

"As your master I demand you to tell me." 

Kunpimook once again looked at Yugyeom hesitantly. He bit his lower lips, "H,have you ever wondered what your father meant by 'shadow?'"

~

Jinyoung sat on the rooftop. His hands clutching to his knees, hugging them tight as he stared at the sky. He went there quite often, every after punishment. It was the only spot in the whole Tuan Mansion where nobody could find him, nobody could hear him. So Jinyoung can close his eyes and wish for death instead of this ongoing slow, soul wrenching pain. 

He wasn't supposed to fall in love. It was against the rules. 

Jinyoung didn't know when he began loving Mark, but it just happened. Maybe it was during those silent lessons they used to have where Mark would smile at him. Or maybe even everytime Mark rubbed healing balm all over Jinyoung's back while muttering his apologies. It just happened. And he knew Mark would never return his feelings. 

"He doesn't love me," Jinyoung whispered. 

"No he doesn't," Yugyeom, who suddenly appeared, agreed with him. "Can I sit with you?" 

Jinyoung frowned, nobody was supposed to know he was here. But he shrugged lightly, wincing as he felt his skin reacting again. "S,sure Gyeommie." 

Yugyeom's eyes softened as he sat beside his hyung. He glanced at Jinyoung; he was wearing a long-sleeve black shirt tucked into dark pants, as usial; but he focused more  on Jinyoung's back. "Is that the reason why you keep wearing black clothes? So people won't be able to see your scars?" he asked in whispers.

Jinyoung's eyes widened in horror. "How did you know?"

The younger boy almost didn't want to answer. "I... I saw you last night." The memory of it was too vivid in his mind. He had snuck a peek through the back door that somehow had been left opened. He saw it all. Jinyoung, tied by the wrist, as a stoic man whipped his back multiple times. His father sat infront of him, watching as if it was the most entertaining thing the world. Mark sat beside him looking empty. 

"You were not supposed to find out," Jinyoung grunted. "You're the only person I want to keep this away from."

"Why?" 

"Because you are a child!"

Yugyeom shuddered back, he could never stand it when someone yelled at him. "I am 18, I am not a child anymore. And what did Mark do this time? Why don't you just leave?"

"Because I can't leave!"

"You won't leave because of Mark?" Yugyeom snapped back. "He slept around this time, didn't he?" 

Jinyoung sighed, "Yes..." he replied helplessly.

"He's getting married, hyung," Yugyeom told him abruptly. "Father had just announced it this morning." 

Jinyoung felt a stung to his heart. Like a huge lump had formed in his throat. He couldn't breathe. It felt like his world was ready to crumble. Tears were threatening to pour. 

"Please, leave me alone here..." he said through choked voice. 

Yugyeom obidiently obeyed as he stood up and head towards the door. "He doesn't love you, Jinyoung-hyung," I do, he wanted to say. But didn't. Instead he just left Jinyoung to cry by himself.