Saturday night was meant to be wasted. It was not that Kyungsoo had studied hard all week and needed refreshment, it was just that he was only a teenager. As much as he loved his family, he always wanted to have his time away from them. And this Saturday night was no different. Jongdae was having his house for himself because his parents were away for the weekend. The lucky bastard was having a party and had invited his close friends. Everyone wanted free food, so what started with a group of friend had become a house full of teenagers. Kyungsoo did not mind though. He was grateful he had a place to go.

But someone was not supposed to be there. Not him. Not the lanky boy with smooth hair and droopy eyes. Kyungsoo had stopped in his track when his sight fell on that boy. The said boy was talking to Jongdae. Even under the dim light, he was beautiful. His skin was reflecting the light in all the right places that Kyungsoo could not take his eyes away from him. Not until Chanyeol nudged him on the shoulder and gave him a questioning look. The taller boy was totally clueless of Kyungsoo’s infatuation on certain male, which he was so grateful of. He could already imagine how Chanyeol would make a ruckus out of it if he ever found out.

Chanyeol then dragged him to talk to Jongdae. For the sake of courtesy, he said.

“Dae, my man!” Chanyeol exclaimed as he side-hugged him. Even in the middle of these noisy people, his voice still irritated Kyungsoo’s hearing.

“Hey, Yeol.” Jongdae nodded to Kyungsoo as he acknowledged him. Jongdae always had a charming smile, he learned. And that was kind of bothering Kyungsoo to know that he was using the same smile to Jongin a moment ago, because that very smile had made some people kneeled before him. Literally.

“Thanks for the party, yeah.” Chanyeol said.

“No probs. I’ll invite you if my parents are leaving again, kay.”

“Thanks, man. By the way, did you see Sehun anywhere?” Kyungsoo already saw where this was going. Chanyeol was about to ditched him in this party for Sehun, his basket ball team mate. He knew there was something going on between these two, but he never confronted his bestfriend about it. He was not a nosy person like that.

“Sehun? No. Jongin here has been looking for him too, you know.” Jongin nodded beside him.

“I’ll go look for him then. See you around,” Chanyeol walked away as he was purposely avoiding Kyungsoo’s gaze. That er. He was supposed to be his wing man for the night and now he freaking left him. Speaking of awkwardness. He really had no choice other than to talk to the two males in front of him.

“Nice house, Jongdae,” Kyungsoo had messed up the conversation right from the start.

“Why yes, thank you. Have you seen the backyard tho? It’s pretty awesome, I might say,” he smiled. Jongdae really was a cool guy. Look at how he had slide off Kyungsoo’s bad startup. But that really was not his concern right now as he looked at Jongin and he looked back at him. He did not know how to react around this boy.

“Look, you guys, enjoy your time, yeah. I need to make sure my parent’s room was locked. Wouldn’t want to find unwanted things there in the morning,” Kyungsoo nodded. For the love of beautiful things in the world, why does everyone keep ditching me, he screamed internally.

“I didn’t know you go to parties, Jongin.” said Kyungsoo as he tried to make a conversation.

“Uh, I don’t actually. Sehun dragged me here. Said I need to live up a little. Though I really can’t see what’s the fun in this, to be honest.” So, that’s why. He never met the boy in occasions like this and he wished it would remain the same, but God seemed to have another plan tonight. He did not want to see the boy in this corrupted place. The boy was too innocent for this.

“I’m going to get a drink. Should we go together?” Please say no.

“Um, I think I’ll stay,” Thank god.

“Ok, see you around,” Jongin nodded.

As he was out of Jongin’s sight he reached for the nearest red cup and chugged down whatever it is inside. Being around Jongin had drained him more than he thought it would. He hoped he would not run into the boy for the rest of the night.

Kyungsoo was a really complicated little thing. It was at art class in his first year that he met Jongin. No, it was not a love at first sight, but he admitted that Jongin was beautiful even back then. He then learned that the boy was well-mannered. A little bit unlike his bestfriend, Sehun, who he always spotted in every party he went to. The fondness only grew but he did not try to win Jongin. If anything, he only knew how to save the feeling for himself. It was killing Kyungsoo. He really liked the boy. But he was a coward. And it was very disheartening that Jongin was also not the most outgoing person, so despite sharing a same class for a year, they still were very much distant to each other.

The night was supposed to be chilly but Kyungsoo could not feel much with the booze in his system and the heat people emanated in this living room. Kyungsoo had lost count of how many cups he had taken. This was not good. Kyungsoo really got himself drunk tonight. It was never like this before. He used to know when to stop. But tonight was different. Tonight, he needed this. The certain tanned boy had made Kyungsoo a little out of himself.

It was frustrating. Being in the same place as Jongin with his head unclear like this. His mind was full of Jongin. And he needed to run away. He needed to go home. But in this state, he needed to find Chanyeol. Finding Chanyeol was supposed to be easy, what with his height and glaringly red mob of hair, but Jongdae’s house was big and Kyungsoo’s eyesight was blurry.

As he turned around the corner into what seemed to be a corridor, he bumped into a bony shoulder. Finding no grip, he stumbled backwards and landed square on his . Kyungsoo was about to snap at whoever it was that was on the way when he saw the other person was none other than Jongin.

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo was trying to stand up on wobbly legs.

“Ah, Kyungsoo. Hi,” there was something weird about him. Jongin’s cheeks were flushed red and his eyes look even droopier. Even at his state, Kyungsoo can tell that the other was drunk.

Jongin was not any sober than him. He seemed really lost and fragile. Kyungsoo felt like punching someone. Who let him become so wrecked like this? Sehun was nowhere to be seen, so it left Kyungsoo to save Jongin.

They ended up sitting on a balcony overlooking the backyard. It really was amazing just like what Jongdae said. Beside him, Jongin was holding the rails and stick his face outside the rail, looking down at the garden. He looked like a child like this. Kyungsoo was unstealthily staring at him.

“Kyungsoo, stop staring at me,” Jongin’s voice was slurred. He really was drunk.

“But I want to,” the alcohol had somehow made Kyungsoo more straightforward. There was no fear in his mind. Jongin moved his hands from the rails to the floor behind him to support himself as he looked at Kyungsoo in the eyes. It felt like forever until Jongin opened his mouth.

“Kyungsoo, why did we never talk to each other? Like, really talk,” that question caught Kyungsoo off guard. What was in Jongin’s mind? Why would he ask such a question? Was that also a concern to him? He could not tell anything from those eyes.

“I don’t know, Jongin. I really don’t know.” Because he had asked the same question for years now. Jongin’s expression remained stoic.

“Do I annoy you?” They were looking at each other in the eyes.Kyungsoo was too lost in his mind, he did not hear Jongin’s question. He never thought he would be in this position with Jongin. Eye to eye, talking serious matters while being tipsy.

“Kyungsoo,”

“Yeah?”

“Kyungsoo,”Jongin giggled.

“Kyungsoo..Kyungsoo..” now Jongin laughed. It was weird, but then again Jongin was drunk.

“Your name is kinda nice to pronounce,” Jongin said while smiling dumbly. Kyungsoo did not know how to respond to that. But, it made his heart warm somehow.

He was just keep looking at Jongin’s eyes. Then he saw it. Jongin’s eyes flickered down to Kyungsoo’s lips. What was that? Has his mind been playing tricks on him? Kyungsoo wished he did not just imagine that. Though his doubt was answered not long because he felt Jongin cupped his cheek and he felt a pair of lips on top of his. Kyungsoo went rigid. His heart was hammering so fast inside his ribcage. Things were running fast in his mind. What does this mean?

It was not a lie that he had imagined this with Jongin, but as this happened to him for real, it seemed to be too difficult for Kyungsoo’s brain to process. So when Jongin felt Kyungsoo not responding to the kiss, he pulled away. This is it. I’ve ruined it and he’s going to regret it and he will ditch me just like what everyone did tonight. Kyungsoo thought. But instead of walking away, Jongin placed his arm on Kyungsoo’s nape and pulled him into an even deeper kiss and that was what made Kyungsoo’s barrier crumbled apart as he pulled Jongin closer and kissed Jongin hard.

…

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were lining in the cafeteria. It was almost the end of the month, so the cafeteria was packed with hungry pupils. He was about to take his tray when Chanyeol turned to him.

“So, Jongin, huh?” Kyungsoo was utterly surprised Chanyeol knew, but he managed his stoic expression and casually taking his tray. He decided that Chanyeol’s wriggling eyebrows are more annoying than his loud voice.

“Sehun told me, y’know.” Kyungsoo was freaking out internally.

“It was nothing, Chanyeol.”

“Hmm, really?” there went Chanyeol’s eyebrows again. Kyungsoo felt like slapping him really.

“Do you know you’re blushing?” Kyungsoo gasped.

“I’m not!”

“Are too.”

“I’m so not blushing!” Chanyeol only snickered to that. Kyungsoo was disappointed to himself. He thought he had mastered the skill of managing face expression.

…

What really happened back at Jongdae’s house was that the next morning, he found himself alone in a bathtub in one of Jongdae’s bathrooms. Throat dry and very much disheveled. It took less than 3 minutes until hangover hit him. He found himself rushing to the toilet and retching into the bowl. Wow, just how much did he drink last night really. Kyungsoo still felt a little nauseous, but he needed to get out of that place. He then washed his mouth and face before walking out of the bathroom. It was still a bit early, so people from last night who were too drunk to take themselves home were still very much sleeping. Or should I say passing out. He did not see Chanyeol anywhere among those people though, so he assumed he was already home by then. He walked out of the house and found himself at Jongdae’s backyard. It was very quiet and a little foggy. He inhaled the outside air deeply. Bad idea. He felt his lungs burning. It was almost winter. What was he thinking? He then decided that walking home would be a good idea to clear his head a little.

It was when he was halfway home that the memories of last night surged back to his head. The memories of searing touches and full lips. The kiss on the balcony was not the last thing that happened at the party with Jongin. No. it certainly did not end there.

…

It was Wednesday and Kyungsoo had not seen Jongin at all since the party. Not even at schoolyard where he usually saw the other guy hanging out with Sehun and his other friends. Now what was left from the night were unanswered questions. Did Jongin do that because he was not very sober at that moment? Or could it be that Jongin also has feelings for Kyungsoo? If it meant anything to Jongin, why did he leave Kyungsoo alone in the bathroom? If it meant anything to Jongin, shouldn’t he be here with Kyungsoo? All those freaking questions had left Kyungsoo with restless nights. Even the dense Chanyeol had noticed that there was something off about him. He just shrugged it off when the taller had asked him about it.

It was Friday that he finally realised all those questions did not matter anymore as he saw Jongin walking down the corridor opposite of him. Hand in hand. With a freshman who Kyungsoo later learned named Soojung. Jongin was laughing until he spotted Kyungsoo. His smile faltered and his stare lingered on Kyungsoo. And just like that night, Kyungsoo could not tell anything from those eyes. Kyungsoo’s steps felt very heavy all of a sudden but neither of them were slowing down their pace. And after they passed each other, Kyungsoo did not dare to look behind him as his heart shattered and left a hollow space in his chest. He clenched his fists so hard, his nails left marks on his palms. He got his hope too high and now he was falling in a terrifying speed onto jagged rocks without any parachute to slow him down.

And it unbearably hurt.

It unbearably hurt to know that at that night, God let Kyungsoo have Jongin’s night.

But not his heart.

Fin.

a/n: Please, bear with my broken English and please kindly point out some mistakes you found, so that I can fix it. I need every comment and critic since it's my very first fan fiction :) Oh, and lastly, thank you for reading <3