Even with her growing circle of friends, Chae still found herself feeling a little lonely as she sat alone in her favorite cafe.

 

Saturdays were good for sleeping in and taking a break from school, but they also meant that her chances of seeing Hongbin and Hyuk, her newest friend, were slim. To say that she had not come here hoping to see them would be a lie – they had run into each other there before twice.

 

Today, however, it seemed as if the boys had no need for coffee.

 

She even found herself missing Wonshik.

 

It would have been nice to have company to keep her from her math studies – and, if not, someone to suffer with her.

 

She made a face at her textbook.

 

Then again, having Wonshik around might have been even more unpleasant than usual after the sudden drop in mood that the boy had yet again experienced after Chae and Hyuk's arm wrestling competition.

 

Chae was at a loss to what had happened to upset him so, but whatever the case, it had turned their interactions back to square one. Meaning, Chae talked at Wonshik and he replied with clipped answers or not at all. His stony silence said everything that needed being said.

 

Trying to keep up with Wonshik's mood swings gave her whiplash.

 

Maybe he would never like her. She did want him to, but she could accept it if she was not able to get on Wonshik's good side.

 

After all, being best friends with everyone was practically impossible.

 

But being civil was manageable, right?

 

Hongbin might have been Wonshik's boyfriend, but it was not like she was trying to steal him away.

 

It was about time she convinced Wonshik of the fact and set his mind at ease.

 

Chae was tired of this whole messed up game they had become caught in.

 

From its place beside her notebook, her cellphone began to ring, startling her out of her thoughts. She answered it quickly, not giving it time to disturb any of the other customers in the cafe.

 

"Is this Giustino's Pizza Parlor?"

 

Chae pulled her phone away from her ear to look at it in bewilderment. "No. I'm afraid you have the wrong number." she answered finally, putting the phone back to her ear.

 

"So you won't make me a pizza, Jeon Chaeyeong? I'm disappointed."

 

"Who is this?" Chae frowned, trying to place the voice to someone she knew – and someone who would have her phone number in the first place.

 

"Cho Kyuhyun, manager of Mari's Emporium. I said we'd be calling soon. You still want the job?" It seemed as if he were smirking at her, but it was impossible to tell through the phone. He seemed smug enough though.

 

"I still want it!" Chae yelped, sitting up straight. Her knees bumped the table and made her cup of coffee wobble dangerously. She closed her textbook and put it away in her bag to save it from any unexpected spills.

 

"Good. The Boss Lady took a look at your application and she wants you to come in for an interview."

 

"Right now?" Chae asked, feeling a bit panicked at the suddenness of the situation.

 

"If that's not too much trouble..."

 

Chae jumped up, nearly knocking her coffee over again and just barely managing to catch it before it tipped over. "O-of course! I'm kind of far away but I can be there –"

 

"Chill girl," Kyuhyun laughed suddenly, stopping Chae short. "The Boss isn't even here today. I'm just joking. Come in tomorrow after lunch. At one maybe. She'll be here then."

 

"Oh," Chae deflated, sinking back into her chair in relief. "That works too."

 

"Awesome. See you tomorrow. Don't forget my pizza~" Kyuhyun teased, hanging up before she could reply.

 

Chae put her phone down with a huff.

 

That man seemed too mischievous for his own good.

 

I like him, Chae decided, a smirk of her own tugging at .

 

The room was eerily silent.

 

N had long become accustomed to it being filled with the voices of his lovers, who took great joy in being able to speak above a whisper whenever they wanted. If anything, they often got too loud for any semblance of peace to take place in their room. Even at night there was no stillness in the air, Ravi’s snoring like a bulldozer in the ear of whoever he slept beside.

 

It was pure luck that the inhabitants of the neighboring rooms failed to complain to the manager about them.

 

Today was a quiet day.

 

All of the boys had found things to do after their morning lie-in.

 

Leo had dragged Hyuk down to the park with him, their athletic maknae the only one who did not protest against helping the elder practice his soccer techniques. Unfortunately for Leo, he forgot to factor in the fact that Hyuk loved to pick on him and get him all riled up over every little thing.

 

Today was surely no exception, as the youngest boy’s unusually reserved attitude had begun to diminish.

 

None of the hyungs were quite sure what had happened between the maknae line, but Hongbin was sympathetic to their youngest lover while Ravi was angry with him. N had caught the youngest pair huddled together more often the past few days, Hyuk spilling out his troubles while Hongbin listened without interruption. N was glad that Hyuk was able to talk about his troubles to his hyung, but he wished that Ravi would do the same.

 

A rift had begun to form between him and Hongbin. If it continued to grow, it would no doubt affect the rest of the boys as well.

 

The date that Hongbin had taken Ravi out earlier to the music store was likely a plan he and Ken dreamed up to get the tattooed boy back into a good mood. Both Hongbin and Ken had gone over the top in doting on Ravi that morning, putting all their attention on him.

 

N had seen a hint of guilt in Ravi’s expression over the excessive attention, likely regretting that he had made things so strained between them, but he had only clutched at Hongbin’s hands more tightly. It made N sad to see him so desperate for their flower boy’s love, especially when he was in no danger of losing it.

 

Hongbin did not love Ravi any less, even with his new friendship, but the thought of losing Hongbin to someone who was essentially a stranger absolutely terrified Ravi.

 

Hongbin did his best to assuage those fears now that he could see that they were not fading away in time as he had hoped, but he needed a little help from the others to do so.

 

Ken had gracefully stepped in to help out that day, exchanging a quick look with N as if to say ‘I’ve got this – you do your thing today.’

 

N was grateful that he could count on the others to help shoulder their burdens when he needed the extra support.

 

Today, he had felt as if he needed that support more than he normally did.

 

N stared grimly at the money spread out before him on the bed, disturbingly small for the funds of six grown men (if they actually met that definition).

 

Unless the fee for the room doubled suddenly, they were not in danger of losing it that week, but unless they found some other source of income soon, they would be back on the streets within a month at the most.

 

With careful planning they would be able to stretch their money, but N wanted to give the world to the other boys.

 

He wanted them to have good clothes that fit them well and kept them warm, wanted them to eat well and never have to go hungry, to have a warm bed to sleep in at night. To have a future.

 

Unbidden, memories of raggedy clothes and wandering cold, dirty streets came to him, the rumble of their stomachs calling for food still ringing in his ears.

 

N shuddered and covered his face, feeling ashamed that he could not give his lovers the better life he had promised them.

 

The skin around his eyes felt hot and he stubbornly wiped away the wetness in his eyes before it had a chance to turn to tears. N sniffled and sighed.

 

Slowly, he tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling as he attempted to compose himself.

 

He had no time for tears. It was time for him to take action instead of sitting around and feeling miserable.

 

On shaky legs, N made his way to the bathroom, breathing deep to center and steady himself. He did the same deep breathing through the rest of his motions, as he washed his face, as he dressed in some of the nicer clothes they had.

 

A good impression helped in getting in a person’s favor, and N would do all that he could to get the favor of a potential employer.

 

N squared his jaw and headed out into town.

 

 

A little more than a week had passed since his storming off at lunch as well as his date with Hongbin and Ken, but Ravi still could not say that he felt any better about the road life was leading them down lately.

 

It hurt to see the stirrings of emotion in his lover’s eyes when it was directed at someone else, someone Ravi was not in love with too.

 

Living in the basement had no brightness for them to pull on apart from each other. It had been so easy to love each other and to fall in love with each other. The idea of being with a person so unfamiliar was so far out of reason for him that Ravi had never considered it.

 

The older boys, N and Leo and Ken – they had all been there from the beginning of his life, of his creation into this body, and he could not even begin to imagine a life where they were not there and so important to him. Ravi was only a little older than Hongbin, and a year older than Hyuk, but those few months before their pretty flower-boy came into their lives were but a distant memory in comparison to the days that they had spent with him. And Hyuk, their precious maknae and only one they were able to protect in at least one way, was loved and adored by all of them.

 

Ravi loved them all so dearly that the thought of losing them felt like the strings of his heart were being snipped away thread by thread.

 

So he pushed them away with anger, pushed away his lovers and those thoughts and bottled up his hurt and fear inside until it ached. And what he could not keep to himself exposed itself as jealousy and hate.

 

He did not want to feel this way, but talking to the others seemed too much for him to handle. All of his former fears had been shared and understood with ease months ago. Now he was afraid to be the one left behind, of being the one who could not find a place in this strange new world …of having his heart broken.

 

That evening, he had escaped the motel room on his own, feeling suffocated by his own worries and doubts.

 

Being out alone did not exactly calm his mind, but the constant rhythm of his feet against the ground as he moved forward was more soothing than Ravi had expected it to be. So he kept going, even crossing a bridge in his wandering. Soon enough, he found himself in a part of the city that he and the others had not found the time to explore yet.

 

The air had begun to warm as they moved into the later part of spring, but with the sun setting and cool air blowing in off the water beside the shopping center it was becoming cold.

 

Ravi tucked his arms in closer to his body for warmth.

 

A crowd of boys began to pass him and Ravi moved to the far side of the sidewalk to avoid bumping into anyone.

 

Only to get bumped himself.

 

A harsh knock of the stranger’s shoulder against his own sent Ravi stumbling into the wall of one of the shops, the rough brick catching unpleasantly against his skin and clothes.

 

“What the hell?” Ravi snapped at once, glaring up at the boy who ran into him. “What was that for?”

 

The stranger sneered at him. “What the hell’s with you? You can’t see someone walking in front of you or somethin’? You oughta apologize to me, it being your fault ‘n all.”

 

“Yeah, I totally reached out at the last second and made you bump me.” Ravi scoffed and rolled his eyes.

 

“Well me and my friends think differently, ain’t that right boys?” The stranger turned to his companions, showing off that he was the leader of this pack, and smirked.

 

The other boys echoed him in agreement, leering at Ravi menacingly. They flanked their leader as he stepped closer to Ravi, surrounding him and forcing him closer to the wall of one of the buildings.

 

Ravi scowled at them mulishly, trying to keep the fear he felt from showing on his face.

 

“ off.
 

Their leader’s face darkened and they all seemed to move at once, led by the stranger who had started it all.

 

After living with Saetbyeol for years and years, Ravi could take a few hits before he crumbled, but it did not make their punches and kicks hurt any less. A punch to the face, a boot to his thigh – every hit hurt and Ravi wanted to run away and hide because he was tired of the hurt and the fear.

 

He shoved back at the boys, fighting off any fist or foot he could and wincing when he was caught by a stray limb unexpectedly. The side of his face felt like a fire was burning across it and his lips felt too hot, too wet to be normal. There was a roaring in his ears, his heartbeat mingling with some sort of shrill ringing as it deafened him.

 

A fist collided with his face and Ravi stumbled back, falling against the rough brick of the building and clutching at his face, the pain to sudden and too sharp to ignore. The group of boys jumped on the opportunity and redoubled their efforts while his defenses were down.

 

“HEY! GET AWAY FROM HIM!”

 

Suddenly the boys were scattering, falling away from Ravi as they met the business end of a broomstick. Its wielder wore the visage of a very familiar, if unusually angry face.

 

Jeon Chae scowled at the boys as she put herself between them and Ravi, wielding a broom like a sword and whacking at anyone who got too close. Though she was tiny in comparison to the boys gathered around her, she was fierce and more than willing to hit someone with little restraint.

 

A few of the boys were looking at her with something akin to terror but their leader refused to back down, even as he looked at her broom warily.

 

“What the hell do you think you’re doin’, little girl?” he growled, eyes flashing dangerously.

 

Chae looked unimpressed and drew herself up to her full height. (It did not help very much – she barely even came up to Ravi’s shoulders on a normal day.)

 

“Waiting for the police.” she said flatly. “I called them, just before I came out. You’re in the middle of the street – I’d be willing to bet I’m not the only one who did.”

 

“Oh ,” someone in the back of the crowd whimpered. The rest of them did not seem to be feeling any better about the implication, faces paling as they fidgeted nervously.

 

The leader narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “… you’re bluffing.”

 

“Are you willing to call it then?” Chae sneered, setting her jaw stubbornly. “Fine. Wait around for the cops to get here. More than one of these stores have CCTV – you might as well be turning yourself in for assault.”

 

“ this,” one of the other boys said suddenly, breaking away from the group. “I ain’t going back to jail.”

 

Like a gunshot at the start of a race, the rest of them took it as a signal to take off as well, scattering away from the store front like cockroaches.

 

The leader had to be pulled away by his lackeys as he continued to stare down Chae.

 

She offered him a mocking wave as he left.

 

Ravi pulled himself to his feet, using the wall as a crutch. He stared at Chae.

 

She turned to him, face still stern but now mixed with concern as well. “Wonshik-ah, are you okay?” She reached up to touch his face and Ravi could not help but flinch away from her.

 

Girls and pain were always connected in his mind and Ravi could never shake the fear that invaded him when delicate hands reached for his face.

 

Chae hesitated a moment, but pushed on with the same stubbornness she used to face down the gang of boys.

 

Ravi scowled at memory of her facing down the boys – he was not able to fight them off enough to get away and Chae was half his size. He may not like her very well but he did not like the idea of her getting hurt.

 

“What the hell were you thinking?” he snapped, glaring down at her. “You think you can take on a whole group of guys twice your size? Are you crazy?”

 

Chae scowled right back at him. “It’s not like you were doing any better idiot.”

 

She managed to catch his face in her hands this time, hands gentle even if her tone was not. She held him carefully, soft fingers wiping that strange warmth on his face away with a touch as soft as a feather.

 

Ravi froze, eyes wide.

 

“You’re bleeding.” Chae sighed, pulling her hand back to show him the touch of scarlet on her fingers.

 

She wiped her hands off on her jeans, unconcerned about a stain, and pulled a tissue out of her pocket to dab at his face gently, putting as little pressure on his cheek and lip as she could.

 

Ravi felt the urge to run away again.

 

“Thanks for running them off.” he said shortly, trying to move away from Chae. “I gotta go now –”

 

“Looking like you just got jumped? Which, y’know, just happened.” Chae scoffed, holding Ravi in place by the sleeve.

 

“I don’t want to file a police report,” Ravi began irritably.

 

“I didn’t call the police.” Chae said suddenly, stopping Ravi short. “I didn’t have time. I just saw them jump on you from the upstairs office and ran down without thinking.”

 

Ravi stared at her in bewilderment. “And you called me an idiot.”

 

Chae flushed, but looked unrepentant. “Well, you are. If you had any common sense you’d clean up before you went home. You want Hongbin to faint at the sight of you? Come upstairs – there’s a first aid kit in the office.”

 

“Don’t wanna,” Ravi mumbled petulantly.

 

Chae’s scowl returned. “Well too bad. March.” She darted behind him, putting her hands on his of all things, and pushed him towards the stairs to the side of the building. “Your back got scraped. Try not to move your shoulders or twist around too much. Actually, just wait here on the stairs – climbing the stairs would probably be too painful.”

 

“Why’re the stairs outside?” Ravi raised an eyebrow at the random staircase.

 

“It was an add on. My boss said that there’s an apartment up there too, but she rents it out to my manager for the extra money so she can’t use it for the store’s business.” Chae patted his head lightly. “Now don’t go anywhere or I’ll tell Hongbin on you~”

 

Ravi scowled at Chae as she disappeared up the steps.

 

Beneath his skin, his magic was bubbling restlessly, wanting to fill the tears in his skin and heal all of his wounds. He held it back, keeping his cuts and scrapes from closing in order to preserve the normalcy of a hurt human.

 

Chaeyeong was actually doing him more harm than good, despite her intentions.

 

If he were alone, he would be in good health within minutes instead of having to maintain his injuries for the sake of the human facade he and the others had worked so hard to build.

 

Ravi huffed irritably and leaned sideways against the railing.

 

Why did she care anyway? Ravi had never shown her such kindness. She had just shown him that she could snap back at him, could get angry with him so why would she not fight back against all the anger and jealousy and coldness that he was always directing at her.

 

(Why did she have to make him feel like the bad guy when she was the one stealing away the ones he loved.)

 

Chaeyeong returned quickly, a small tin box in her hands with FIRST AID painted on it in big bold letters. It looked ancient, but all of the supplies were revealed to be new and sealed when she opened it up.

 

She worked silently, expression blank and eyes focused as she cleaned his face up. She only spoke briefly when Ravi hissed at the sting of the ointment, mumbling a soft apology before falling silent again.

 

Ravi fidgeted under her hands. He was beginning to recognize that blank stare. Chae often wore it when she was thrown for a loop by something she was not used to hearing (a compliment or so from Hongbin), confused (a common sight in math class), or upset. Ravi had a feeling that the last explanation was the current cause for the blankness that was settled on her face.

 

Without Hongbin to buffer their interaction, the air became unbearable between them.

 

“Why are you doing this for me?” Ravi blurted out suddenly, unable to take Chae’s silence anymore.

 

Chae cocked an eyebrow as she looked at him, fingers playing with the bandage in her hands. She sighed and gestured for Ravi to scoot over so that she could sit beside him. She pulled his hand into her lap, cleaning the scrapes on his knuckles from where they had split against another boy's face during the fight.

 

"I… don't really know. For Hongbin's sake I guess." she murmured eventually.

 

"For Hongbin?"

 

"Yeah… Y'know, I don't really get you, Wonshik. I mean, I know that you don't like me, even if I don't know the exact reasons why. I could make a guess and maybe I wouldn't be too far off the mark, You're jealous. And angry too, obviously. I think that it's just one of those things that fear does to us. That fear makes us feel."

 

"I'm not afraid of you." Ravi scoffed, trying to pull his hand back.

 

Chae held him firmly in place. “Of losing Hongbin.”

 

Ravi froze, feeling as if he had just been doused in ice water. “…”

 

Chae smiled humorlessly. "You don't like me very much, Wonshik. I can tell. And, honestly, I can't say that you've given me much reason to like you either. But I do like Hongbin and being friends with him. Just friends. That's why I'm doing this."

 

"I thought that you wanted to be friends." Ravi mumbled, so quiet that it was nearly a breath.

 

Chae frowned at him. "I don't want… not to be friends? Just, some civility is what I'm after between you and me. But you haven't exactly shown me much of that, Wonshik. You offered to help me before… so I know that you've got some good qualities in you. I know…

 

"But you don't like to let me see them so easily. I don't think that you even want me to see them at all. But I know they're there. Otherwise Hongbin wouldn't love you so much and try to help me see them myself. And… I trust him. Trust his judgment. His… heart? Maybe I sound stupid for reasoning things that way, but... Anyway, that's why I'm doing this for Hongbin. Because he cares about you and I care about him and I don't like seeing him get upset over you. Letting you go home all bloody and looking like hell kind of goes against that line of thought."

 

That was… startling, Ravi thought dazedly.

 

Chaeyeong taped off his knuckles and tugged at his sleeve to bring him back to his senses. “Take your shirt off – I gotta look at your back now.”

 

Ravi squirmed a moment, a blush rising to his cheeks. He fiddled with the hem of his T-shirt nervously before pulling it up and over his head, quickly enough that he did not have the time to focus on the pain in his shoulders.

 

He was more or less grateful that she was settled behind him and unable to see his troubled expression. Ravi was… unpleasantly surprised about the admission of dislike, as well as the way she had so easily called him out on his bad behavior as well. It was not exactly a confrontation, but it made Ravi feel jumpy and unbalanced with guilt and annoyance.

 

Her quiet disappointment was somehow worse than being shouted at.

 

Ravi knew how to deal with loud anger – it was the quiet kind that frightened him.

 

But still, Chaeyeong’s hands were gentle on his back, fingers cool with a salve for his scrapes and surprisingly soothing. Ravi found himself relaxing without conscious thought and leaning into the touch, the adrenaline from the fight having long worn off and leaving him feeling sleepy.

 

“M’ sorry.” Ravi mumbled, pausing to yawn. “For being such a jerk.”

 

Chae’s fingers stilled on his shoulders and Ravi was surprised to hear her quiet laugh.

 

“Wonshik… you’re the one who dropped that doll, right?”

 

He jumped in surprise, twisting around to gape at her. Chae grinned at him.

 

Ravi coughed and turned back around to hide the sudden heat on his face. “Yeah…”

 

Chae chuckled at him good-naturedly. “It was cute, Wonshik-ah. Thank you. You can put your shirt back on now.”

 

Ravi cleared his throat and stood up to pull the garment back into place, avoiding even glancing in the girl’s direction.

 

In the end, he missed the way that her lips turned down and her brow furrowed.

 

The bruises that Ravi had received in the fight were mostly gone already, forgotten by Ravi in favor of his cuts and scrapes. The larger ones had already darkened and were beginning to yellow around the edges.

 

Ravi’s body was healing much too quickly for any semblance of normalcy – and Chae had noticed.