Chaeyeong chewed on her nails as she meandered down the sidewalk in the shopping center. Her phone sat in her free hand, screen inactive. She only barely paid any attention to the rest of the crowd as she passed through it, just enough to dodge someone when they came too close to her, and continued to worry over her phone.

 

Chae’s entire day had consisted of looking at her phone at every opportunity. She had even forgone her usual good-student attitude and snuck her phone out in class to check for any missed calls. If it had not been for Hyejeong watching her back, Chae might have been serving her first detention ever.

 

The other girl had taken it upon herself to be Chae’s lookout for the day, since the boys who usually held the title were the cause of her worry and out-of-character behavior.

 

Both Hongbin and Wonshik had been absent that day, their empty desks like a chasm next to Chae’s own.

 

When they had not arrived to class on time, Chae had excused herself from class at the first opportunity to hide in the bathroom, trying to call the number Hongbin had given her a while back. She had never been quite brave enough to call it before, but she wanted to check in on them if something was wrong. Especially after the fight Hongbin and Wonshik had.

 

Chae’s concern had only grown worse as the day passed and word of the third years’ absence reached the second year hall.

 

Moon Aera and her pack of lackeys could be seen roaming the halls in search of them, as could Somi’s gang.

 

Chae knew that nothing good could come from them catching her alone, so she was careful not to be seen as she headed for the first years’ hall to check if Sanghyuk was missing as well.

 

He was.

 

Chae had been disappointed, but kept on a politely interested face for the first years who seemed awestruck by her.

 

She wondered when she had gained a following, as they all seemed to know exactly who she was, as both a top student and the only person capable of getting close to all of the mysterious and handsome newcomers.

 

Chae had felt a little guilty about how cold she seemed, but she had not hesitated to shut down the first years who had been bugging her for information about the boys. Though, she could not help but coo over the kids who gathered around her for her academic skills, a small buzz of pride over her accomplishments managing to cut through her worry for a moment.

 

It worked out in her favor though, as she did not have to walk back to lunch alone. Her new following eagerly accompanied her to the lunchroom where she met up with Hyejeong and the twins, Chae’s expression sheepish as she introduced them to the first years. It took some rearranging of the tables to get everyone seated together, and a little more once Hyunwoo arrived, Seola and Exy in tow. Chae ended up being squished between Hyejeong and Hyunwoo, swatting at the soccer player every time his elbow accidentally strayed into her ribs.

 

Though it was loud and crowded, it still was not quite right to Chae and she could not help but pull out her phone and try to call Hongbin again, leaving a short message when she got the answering machine again.

 

She had not been able to reach any of the boys the entire day, nor was she able to tamp down her worry, which carried on even as she was at work.

 

Chae was sure that she had managed to irritate Kyuhyun to no end with the way she kept spacing out between phone checks. Still, she did her work quickly and efficiently every time he ordered her to do something, so he had no grounds to complain.

 

That did not mean that Kyuhyun let the chance to express his discontent pass unnoticed.

 

Now that her shift had ended, Chae was on her way home, still worried by the boys’ radio silence.

 

She unlocked her phone and called again, leaning against the last building in the line of shops as she listened to the now familiar ringing.

 

Chae looked over the crowd absentmindedly, not looking for anyone in particular as she fidgeted and waited.

 

Her eyes caught on a familiar form that sat on one of the benches, the boy slumped over like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

 

Chae could recognize those big, crystal earrings and frizzy-looking bangs in her sleep.

 

Without conscious thought, Chae hung up the phone and hurried over to the bench at a pace that was almost a sprint.

 

“Wonshik-ah?” she breathed, taking in his presence with wide eyes.

 

He flinched at the sound of her voice, curling in on himself even further.

 

“Wonshik…” Chae tried again, tucking her skirt beneath her knees as she crouched down before him in an attempt to meet his eyes.

 

“Chaeyeong.” Wonshik mumbled in greeting when she finally managed to get a good look at his face. He flinched when she reached out to touch him, just as he had the day he got jumped outside of the store she worked at.

 

And, just as she had before, Chae held his face with gentle hands, fingers wiping at the tear tracks on the boy’s face. Wonshik did not seem to have the energy to protest the action or try to pull away from her, instead closing his eyes and allowing her cool fingers to soothe the heat radiating around his tear swollen eyes.

 

“You and Hongbin… are you still fighting?” Chae sighed, eyes roaming over his puffy eyes and rumpled clothes. He was still in his school uniform and Chae could only guess at whether he avoided going home the other day or had skipped school that morning.

 

Wonshik stayed silent.

 

Chae sighed again, rising back to her feet. She took Wonshik’s hand in her own and tried to pull him to his feet. “C’mon, Wonshik-ah.”

 

He hesitated, finally lifting his eyes from the ground, but allowed her to pull him along when she seemed like she would not take ‘no’ for an answer.

 

Wonshik stared at Chae dully as she led him into the little convenience store at the end of the shopping center, only grunting out a response when she pointed out sodas in the cooler and asked which one he wanted. Chae never once let go of his hand, instead choosing to do things more difficultly and slowly as she dug through her bag for her wallet when they reached the counter, ignoring the cashier’s annoyed look when she took too long for his liking.

 

Wonshik glared at him over Chae’s shoulder, the man behind the counter quailing at the evil eye the teenager gave him.

 

Chae gave no sign that she noticed, but could not help but smirk a bit as they left the store.

 

She took him to the park on the outskirts of her neighborhood, the brightly colored play equipment nestled between the bridge and the shopping center, and they sat down together on the swing set where she finally let go of his hand. The area was deserted apart from the pair of teenagers, all of the parents having herded their children home in the light of the setting sun.

 

Wonshik’s hand felt cold at the sudden absence of Chae’s warmth and he curled his fingers around his soda bottle as an excuse for the sudden chill.

 

He glared at his sneakers, scuffing them through the wood chips scattered on the ground beneath them.

 

“Why?”

 

It was the loudest Wonshik had spoken since she found him on the bench and Chae looked over at him in surprise.

 

“Why what?” she prodded quietly.

 

“Why,” Wonshik repeated, clutching tightly at his soda bottle as his tone edged towards anger. “Why can’t I ever seem to get rid of you? Why do you have to be everywhere I go? Why are you always there! It’s driving me crazy!”

 

Chae scowled at him, blinking back the sudden moisture in her eyes, hurt thrumming through her. “Really? Is that really how you feel about me, Wonshik? I thought that you were done being a jerk!” Her voice rose to a shout at the end and Chae found herself on her feet, glaring down at Wonshik with no memory of getting up.

 

She sat back down abruptly, taking an angry slurp of her soda as she avoided looking at him.

 

Wonshik stared at her like she had suddenly grown another head.

 

“So,” Chae sighed, hurt and anger running through her in equal measure. “You really don’t like me. Because you can’t get away from me. Wonshik… Is that really the problem? Or is it because I’m always with Hongbin? Tell me the truth and I’ll leave you both alone. Am I the real reason you’re so angry with Hongbin? Because you feel like I’m stealing him away from you?”

 

“Yes!” Wonshik exploded, eager to be rid of her and have the boys all to himself again. But when he looked at her stricken expression, he regretted his answer at once. He sighed, letting go of his soda to wrap a hand around her swing’s chain. “No. I didn’t mean that. At least, I don’t think so. I don’t know. I don’t know what I mean anymore… or what to do.”

 

Chae sighed in frustration at the boy's wishy-washy attitude and pumped her legs beneath her, swinging a bit jaggedly due to Wonshik's hold on her chain. "You think you're going crazy? I will if I keep having to deal with you and your mood-swings, Wonshik-ah. Enough with the Jekyll and Hyde routine, please."

 

"Hyde?" Wonshik asked, confused.

 

Chae sighed, slumping a bit. "They're characters in a classic novella by Robert Louis Stevenson – we read it last year in my Literature class. Dr. Jekyll is a nice guy who s up a potion to hide his inner evil and creates an alter ego in Mr. Hyde. Who is a total ."

 

"An inner evil… I don't think anyone can really hide that. Or hide from it" Wonshik scrubbed a hand over his face and looked at Chae wearily. "I'm sorry. For being a jerk and for not being able to change like I wanted to. And… for taking it all out on you. You're nice, Chae, and you don't deserve to have to put up with me. I don't think anyone does anymore."

 

“Hush,” Chae snapped. “Don’t decide things for other people. I’ve seen the way Hongbin looks at you. He loves you – and he’d be heartbroken without you. The rest of the boys too. So don’t talk like you plan on disappearing for someone else’s sake. No one should have to leave to let someone else be ‘better off’ without them.” She trailed off at the end, feeling as if she had gotten off the subject and onto one that reminded her too much of her father.

 

Wonshik snorted self-deprecatingly. “Yeah, well you don’t have to worry about me leaving. I’m too selfish for that.”

 

“I think a little selfishness is a good thing. If we were always generous to one another, then we wouldn’t be able to keep anything for ourselves to live on. Giving to others is something to be admired, but you also shouldn’t forget to care for yourself when you do.”

 

Wonshik gave Chae a surprised look. She smirked at him half-heartedly.

 

Wonshik kicked his feet beneath him, swinging along with Chae as he tried to organize his thoughts. His head felt a bit clearer after some time on his own and the chance to vent his feelings.

 

“I’m afraid.” He finally admitted, voice so small that Chae could barely hear it over the squeak of the swings. They both slowed to a stop so that Wonshik could finally confess what was bothering him. “I’m terrified that I’m going to lose my best friend to you. I’ve never had anyone but him – Hongbin and all the others too. Hakyeon, Taekwoon, Jaehwan, Hyuk… they’re the only family I’ve ever known. Ever had to rely on. And… even though things haven’t always been great, I’ve always known that I could rely on them. And be someone they could rely on too.

 

“But ever since we moved here, it seems like we’ve been so… spread thin. I guess that’s what you could call it. And I’ve been getting more and more scared, but I couldn’t say anything because they all seem so happy. How could I even think to ruin everything for them…”

 

“It’s not a crime to tell someone when something’s bothering you, Wonshik.” Chae leaned her head against the chain, feeling a bit hypocritical. “If you don’t… well, you know from first-hand experience. You either blow up… or end up like me.”

 

“Like you?” Wonshik asked skeptically.

 

“Alone. I was too afraid to say something about how I felt when the time came and now…” She sighed sadly. “I got left on my own. Don’t let that happen to you, Wonshik-ah.”

 

He ruffled his hair in frustration, already frizzy bangs becoming even wilder. “How? Am I supposed to just blurt out that I don’t like them getting jobs and playing sports and making f-friends?” He stuttered over his last word, side-eying Chae apprehensively.

 

“I don’t think that’s what’s bothering you.” Chae said, seeming more relaxed as Wonshik rambled, feeling like she understood him better now. “I think you’re afraid to be forgotten now that the others have new interests.”

 

Wonshik looked away from her, not wanting to confirm her words.

 

“Y’know,” Chae said after a moment of hesitation, turning to look at Wonshik apprehensively. “Jaehwan – he told me a little bit about your situation growing up. No specifics! Just… that it was a bad one. Could it be… Is that the reason you’re all so dependent on each other?” She was careful to include the others in her question as well, not wanting to single out Wonshik for his behavior.

 

Wonshik was as still as a statue next to her, his face unreadable. Chae felt like she had made a mistake in bringing it up as time ticked by, the pair sitting in an uncomfortable silence. This time, it was Chae who could not take the silence, though she was afraid to break it.

 

She reached out hesitantly, wanting to make sure that she had not upset him even further, but Wonshik spoke before she could.

 

“Yeah,” He murmured, knocking his head against the chain and leaning against it. He stared at the ground blankly, lost in memory. “It was really ty and I never want to go back. It’s not something I can really explain all the details of, either. It was… something you had to be there for to understand. And that’s what scares me the most. The idea that Hongbin could move on and leave our past behind us… in favor of someone who couldn’t understand what we went through. It’s terrifying. Especially since it seems like it’s something that could happen so easily. I’m afraid that one day, they’re all going to leave me behind because I can’t move past everything like the others. That they’ll get tired of me and ditch me for someone who doesn’t have all these problems. Someone who makes friends easily and has interests of their own. I don’t want to be alone…” Wonshik sniffled, wiping at his face as tears began to stream unbidden once again.

 

Chae watched him cry impassively as she rose to her feet. She tucked her hands into her blazer pocket and tilted her head to the side, considering.

 

Perhaps she and Wonshik were more alike than anyone could have thought. Being afraid of being alone, of speaking their mind and hurting the people they cared about – those were both things they had in common. Though, Chae knew how things had ended for her and she did not want to see the same thing happen to Wonshik because he was overcome by his fears.

 

She breathed in deep through her nose and let it out slowly, pulling a napkin from her pocket and crouching before Wonshik as she had done earlier.

 

“Hush, now.” Chae wiped his face carefully, drying his face and pushing the napkin into his hand so he could blow his nose. She sighed in frustration. “Wonshik, y’know, for someone who’s supposedly so close to his friends, you sure don’t trust yours very much.”

 

Wonshik looked at her in bewilderment.

 

Chae rocked back on her heels, tucking her skirt under her knees and resting her chin on them as she stared him down until he met her eyes. “You kind of piss me off, man.” she said bluntly, ready to get her own side out into the open. Wonshik flinched. “And I think you’re an for taking out your anger on me when I didn’t do anything to deserve it. Being afraid is one thing – being someone who hurts others is another. But, I’ll forgive you if you apologize sincerely.”

 

“You will?” Wonshik gaped at her, not sure why he was still able to be surprised by her kindness.

 

“Of course. I don’t consider myself one to hold grudges.” Chae moved forward onto her knees, tugging Wonshik down to meet her, and wrapped him in a hug, chin resting on his shoulder. Wonshik was like stone in her arms but Chae paid his tenseness no mind and ran a hand through his hair, remembering the way her mother used to hold her when she was upset. “Wonshik, I think everything’s going to turn out alright in the end.”

 

“You do?” Wonshik slumped into her hold, arms wrapped around her waist. He wasn’t quite hugging her in return, but he wasn’t pushing her away.

 

“Absolutely.” Chae said firmly. “And don’t worry about being the only one without interests and friends. Sometimes, it takes people a long time to find things they like. I don’t have anything I’m passionate about, really, but I’m staying open to my options. And you should too. And as for friends… you’ve already got someone willing to take the title – that is, once you get your head out of your and cut out the ty behavior. And apologize.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Wonshik sniffled. “I’m sorry for ignoring you and being mean to you and saying that you’re the problem between me and

Hongbin. ‘M sorry for being such a jerk and getting in the way of your friendship with him. And for ruining your shirt just now.”

 

Chae snorted. “I have a washing machine. It’s cool. And for everything else, you’re forgiven. I forgive you, Wonshik-ah, and I’d like to be your friend.”

 

“I’d like that,” He sighed, hugging her back properly. “Really.”

 

“And, if you don’t mind me giving you a little advice… You can sit down with the others and tell them how you feel. Let them know what’s on your mind and why you’ve been so upset lately. You have to let people know what you’re thinking, that you care, or else… you just push them away and lose them because of the things you’ve done. And that’s when your fears really do become a reality. Get their help in finding new things to get into, too. That way, you guys might find something you all like and have something to do together. That’s what you want, right?” Wonshik hummed an affirmative at her question. Chae smiled a bit to herself, and tucked her face into his neck. She thought back on her own friends, the ones that were left behind when she graduated to high school, and her smile slipped away. “It’ll be good to build your world up some more, Wonshik-ah. Because when it’s small and filled with only a few people, loneliness can easily find a place within you.”

 

Wonshik’s arms tightened a bit further around her as he felt Chae’s own tears spill against his skin.