CHAPTER 15: DESPAIR

I couldn’t believe it had already been almost four months since I left Jeju Island behind me, preparing to live a new life in Seoul, attending the best school I could, with no worries. And how it had gone from a promising start to a big mess with criminals tangled in it. My life had been miserable back in my hometown but at least I felt safe. Now I had to make sure my aunt was safe and then look after both me and Eunwoo. It felt exhausting, the constant hiding and being careful. There had been people behind our door, ringing the bell and demanding to get in. Aunt had gotten calls from an unknown number constantly, and in the end she had no choice but to turn off her phone.

A week had passed since I had been to Bin’s house. I had been worried sick since Bin hadn’t returned to school the next day and I wasn’t able to reach him, he never answered my calls or texts. And as a cherry on top, I had talked with Minhyuk’s father once again, apologizing for not being able to get any proof about the mafia connections. It was, anyhow, Minhyuk’s father, who apologized more for not being able to help us since there was nothing suspicious in Mr. Moon’s background or profile. Suing a rich, respected man like that for abuse would just get my family into trouble since we had no chance in winning. Only if we could expose the truth about his crimes we could succeed – and without the proof the situation seemed really desperate.

It was a Sunday afternoon. It was the first weekend of November. The weather was still quite pleasant and the sky was sunny, clear of clouds. A great contrast to my gloomy mood. I had felt so suffocated after just laying home depressed for two days, I needed to get out and breathe some fresh air. I had decided to head to a shopping street close to our house, not bothering to take a bus or a subway to somewhere farther. I was just strolling the street, soullessly walking from a store to another, not even buying anything. To be honest, I felt ty. I was at loss because of my aunt’s situation, I couldn’t help her in any way. I was also worried about Bin since it had been a week since I last heard of him. I couldn’t call us a couple yet – we just might be getting there slowly – but I couldn’t stop myself from worrying a lot. I also felt a little bit disappointed because my grades had started dropping because of all the stress I was going through.

When I thought the day couldn’t get any worse, I was about to exit the store and accidentally bumped into someone. That someone let out a loud snort and turned her head to glare into my eyes. I sighed. Running into Mikyung was the worst coincidence that could ever happen. I just sighed and was about to just ignore her and walk out of the store, but she suddenly grabbed my arm.

“Minji”, she said quietly.

I turned to look at her. “What?”

He flashed me a cold, fake smile. “I need to talk to you.”

And then she dragged me out of the store. I was trying to resist but she seemed to have a goal of dragging me out and embarrassing me in a very public area with a lot of people going around. As soon as we were standing outside the store, she started glaring at me again.

“Wow”, she said, crossing her arms. “You really are something.”

I tilted my head. I wasn’t exactly interested in being there in the first place but her words didn’t make any sense.

“I heard you have Bin on your leash”, she hissed, eyes narrowing. “One thing more to add into the list. Stupid, poor, orphan, adopted and now even a thief?”

I snorted and rolled my eyes. Was she seriously provoking me like this? “Don’t forget I’m also an abuser.”

“I told you Bin is mine. You will die if you touch him, remember?” her voice was getting louder and higher and I could feel the blood boil in my veins.

“You do remember that my slaps are pretty painful, right?” I hissed back at her. “Seeing a red hand mark on your cheek in such a busy neighbourhood probably wouldn’t be good.”

For a moment, I could actually see Mikyung flinch a little bit and I felt proud. I could get her shaken if I wanted. I wasn’t a weak bullied girl anymore. All the drama had probably made me stronger – but also tougher, and I couldn’t stand this kind of whining from a bully that wasn’t even really a bully since I had probably caused her more pain than she had for me. I looked at her, tilting my head and waiting for her to leave.

“Ryu Minji”, she groaned. “I swear to god you’re the person I hate the most in this world.

I frowned at her, responding to her angry glaring.

“But those feelings are mutual, right?”

Both me and Mikyung snapped out of our intense staring battle as a familiar voice broke the silence. The voice that I’d recognize even in my sleep. Minhyuk. I turned around to look at him with a surprised expression as he walked from somewhere to my side and flashed a dirty look at Mikyung.

“Who do you think you are to talk to me like that?” Mikyung snarled. “I’m older than you.”

“I talk to my friend’s enemies just the way I like to”, Minhyuk stated and raised his chin. “And to put this nicely, I’d want you to off.”

I stared at my friend in awe and surprise. Where did this kind of courage and attitude come from? Where did the silent and shy Minhyuk go, where did the boy who never talked to strangers, go? Right now he looked very confident and seemed to trust his instincts as I saw a small smile appearing on his lips when Mikyung started to look hesitant and slowly backed away a little bit.

She put her eyes on me again, glaring me one last time. “I swear this isn’t over, Minji.”

And then she was gone. Amazing. The girl who never walked away – she always tortured people to the end and even when I slapped her, I was the one you walked away. And now she was basically running away. And this was all thanks to my dear friend, Minhyuk. I let out a relieved sigh as the situation was over and I didn’t have to act strong anymore. I turned to look at the boy who looked back at me and raised an eyebrow. At that moment I felt all the pressure and depression pile up into a big pile, and then overflow. My knees went weak and I started crying.

“Minji!” I heard Minhyuk’s voice burst out the moment I fell down on my knees and let the tears flow. “What is wrong?”

I sat on the cool ground, crying loudly. This wasn’t the type of beautiful crying you see in movies, no, this was ugly sobbing with tears and snot mixing on my face. Minhyuk was there, beside me, patting my back and waiting for me to calm down and explain what was going on. And I was so overwhelmed by my emotions I didn’t even feel embarrassed even though people were staring at me and I heard many whispering, asking if I was alright. I didn’t care. I just wanted to cry it all off, fall asleep and then wake up happy, without any worries. After I had been sobbing and sniffing for a good while, Minhyuk asked with a quiet, gentle voice, whether I felt better or not. I wiped my tears to the sleeve of my hoodie and turned to look into his eyes. He looked so concerned but at the same time, also understanding and sad. He slowly helped me stand up and wiped the dust off my hoodie.

“I’m so sorry”, I sobbed and grabbed him by his collar to pull him into a hug. His hands wrapped around my waist tightly and he let out a sigh.

“You have nothing to be sorry about”, he said quietly, with a calming voice.

“But I’ve been a horrible friend”, I sniffed.

“Minji, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had”, he said and backed away from the hug, smiling at me. “You look exhausted. I’ll buy you a coffee.”

After I wiped off my tears and managed to calm down properly, Minhyuk walked me into the nearest coffee shop and ordered us extra sweet cappuccinos with lots of whipped cream. As we drank them, I eyed at him carefully, trying to observe the situation. I really wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell everything. I sighed and took a sip of my coffee. Who would it hurt? His father did know already, why would there be a big problem with Minhyuk knowing too? I coughed awkwardly and managed to get his attention by doing so. I looked down and let out a sigh.

“Actually”, I started, clearing my throat. “There's a huge mess. My aunt has to hide from criminals in our home, she was beaten up very badly.”

Minhyuk’s eyes widened and he put his cappuccino down. “What? Is that why you needed my dad’s number?”

I nodded hesitantly. “Yes. But you can never tell about this to anyone, okay?”

“Of course I won’t”, he said. “You can trust me. But… is your family safe?”

I sighed and shook my head. “Nobody knows.”

“Is this why Eunwoo has been skipping school lately?” he asked.

“Yes… I wanted to do that too but I felt like it would be suspicious for everyone to stay home.”

Minhyuk nodded slowly. “I wish I could help somehow.”

I flashed him a very small, thankful smile. It was nice to know that I had such a good friend with me. But the thought of him liking me more than just as a friend kept storming in the back of my head and I couldn’t prevent myself from feeling a little bit sad. I felt like I needed to address it somehow and make it sure that the feelings were not mutual – giving false hope for him would be just miserable – but saying something like that just didn’t feel like an option. I frowned and took another sip of my coffee. I usually didn’t enjoy coffee as much as I enjoyed tea, but this cappuccino was sweet enough for me.

“Minji”, Minhyuk said quietly. “Are you and Bin dating?”

I was about to spit out the coffee and turned to stare at the boy. His eyes had a knowing look in them, but under everything else, I could see some sadness. I scratched my head slowly and awkwardly kept glancing at him.

“Well, no”, I said, almost choking on my words.

“But you do like each other, right?” he asked and flashed me a small smile. “So I was too late…”

I couldn’t say a word, I just stared at him with a slight frown on my face. I felt so bad about this. He was one of my best friends, I could’ve never thought of him in a romantic way. I never believed I could get this awkward with a friend, but here I was, not being able to say anything to him. I glued my eyes to the coffee cup, avoiding his eyes.

“It’s alright”, Minhyuk said, sounding a lot brighter. “I am a bit sad but I will get over it.”

How could there be such a person in this world? I glanced at him as he took a final sip from the cup and smiled at me. “Don’t apologize, please. You do that too much anyway.”

After I drank my coffee we parted ways at the coffee shop’s door. Minhyuk was his own smiley self and he waved at me, saying we’d see at school the next day. I was still feeling very awkward and I just waved back at him and then headed back home. I was relieved the facts were also facts for Minhyuk now, but I still felt so bad for him. But like I didn’t have enough to worry about already, so I tried to forget about the whole things. Awkward one-sided crushes weren’t a big deal compared to the mess I was dealing with right now.

As I got home, it was already 6pm. The sun had set and I had some homework to do for the next day, so I took my time writing notes and exercises. I couldn’t not glance at my phone constantly – like Bin could just call or text me anytime. It never happened, though, so I just sighed and tried to concentrate on my homework. I really needed to get my grades up, stress or not.

At some point I felt so exhausted I decided to get a cup of green tea and eat some snacks, so I went to kitchen to prepare them. As soon as I was about to take a sip of the tea I almost jumped into the air as I heard the doorbell ring. I glanced at Eunwoo, who was sitting on the living room’s sofa, and he stood up immediately. It wasn’t the first time the doorbell had rang this week. He looked very tense and just stared at the door. I heard aunt’s room’s door opening slowly and she peaked out of the room.

“Who is it?” she asked.

“I don’t know”, Eunwoo replied.

“Go and check”, aunt ordered.

I slowly walked towards the door and looked at the screen of the door phone. My eyes widened. Dressed in black from head to toes, there were to people who looked very sure they’d get in.

“Is it them again?” Eunwoo asked.

Again? No. This one was a first. Behind the door, there were Bin and his adoptive mother, Sunhee.