Trigger warning: car accident, dying, alcohol(?).

Please prepare tissue, I suggest to reading in private.

(Edited on 2 April 2017)

The sun was shining so bright, but one of the room inside the apartment of the group that debuted just last year, iKON. The room at the end of the apartment looks so gloomy and dark, the curtains stopping the light from coming in.

He was sitting on his bed, with a bottle of whiskey in his hand, staring blankly at the wall with a small smile on his lips, his eyes was glassy; he was probably thinking of her, who only exist in his memory. In front of him is probably more than a dozen empty bottles of all sorts of alcohol standing on the table, he knew how she hates drunk people, but he has been doing the things that she hate for almost a month now, everyone has been trying to help him, stop him, but it was no help. The alcohol helps to forget everything for a little while, including his pain, as if it was a medicine, and maybe, just maybe, she would come back to slap him back into his senses.

His eyes was red and puffy, dry tears visible on his cheeks, he looks dead; maybe because he is, the moment she left. Second become hour, minute become day, and day become year, he wasn’t sure if he could do this all alone without her; heck no, he knows he can’t do this without her.

All the memories of her keeps on replaying every second.

He remembers the day he met her so clearly, like it just happened yesterday.

It was his first day as a trainee in YG, he was really nervous and scared as although he is really talented, he's not that talented in making friends. He was just sitting there in the practice room, feeling lonely, nervous, scared and out of place,  but all of that went away when he saw a familiar girl standing in front of him with a smile on her face, and from that moment he knew that she was an angel sent by the heaven above.

“Annyeonghaseyo, I’m Han Raeul. Are you a new trainee here?" She gave him a smile that he swear could brighten the world.

The moment he look at her, shock can be seen all over his face. Why is a really famous person here, want to talk to him?

"A-annyeonghaseyo, I'm Kim Hanbin. Yes, it's my first day here. Oh, I saw you in BigBang sunbaenim's music video." 

She was beautiful but also cute at the same time, she has this long brown straight but almost-wavy hair, big bright deer-like-eyes, the kind of eyes people get lost into. She has this cute dimples that shows up when she only slightly moves her lips. Her pouty pink lips that is not too thick but it's there. She was wearing a black t-shirt and a short pants with black sneakers. She was 2 years younger than him yet she has been in this industry longer than he does.

"Well, you're not the only one, I saw you in MC Mong's Indian boy."

Although he was so awkward, he was able to talk to her and get closer, they practice together all the time for years. Being by her side for some times, he realized he loves her, although he was scared, he decided to give it a try; he decided to confess and ask her to be his girlfriend. He thought he was hallucinating when he heard the word 'yes', how lucky he was to be able to call her his, how he thought he was the luckiest man in the world. Even when he wanted to run away from reality, when things get to hard; she was always there for him, comforting him. She was his safe haven, his home.

For the last 4 years, his feelings for her never change, instead it becomes even more stronger than before. 

He still love the way her eyes crinkled when she laughs, how cutetly she snorts when she laughed too hard, how she said she hate aegyo but she keeps on doing it so adorably, the way she furrowed her eyebrows when she’s thinking hard, how good she was at cooking, how pretty she looks when shes's focused, how she tip-toed to reach things on the high shelf but still can't reach it, the way she pouted when he , how she plays with his hair, how cuddly she looks, how she tip-toed every time she wanted to kiss him but still couldn’t reach his lips, how pretty she looks in everything, how beautiful she looks even when she just woke up, he could list thousands of things he loves about her; it would be endless.

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