Minseok really wants to kiss Luhan.

This isn’t a feeling he finds himself having sometimes, it’s more of a subtle constant in his life. Sometimes it’s more strong than other times but none the less, it is still there.

When Luhan walks into the dressing room after taking a breather and he smiles, his soft lips curling slightly at the end as he spots Minseok in the corner of the room slipping his shoes on. Minseok really wants to kiss him.

When they finish with a performance and they all slowly move off stage and Luhan’s chest is heaving, his mouth wide open as he struggles to breath correctly but he’s still smiling because he loves performing and nothing gives him such a thrill. Minseok really wants to kiss Luhan.

As Luhan turns in his sleep and his hair falls to frame his face because this time he had fallen asleep on the couch in their dorm despite Minseok telling him that he shouldn’t sleep there...because he might catch a cold. He gathers up his courage and pulls the blanket up, before tucking it securely around the taller man. Sure, he gathered his courage, but he couldn’t do anything more than to gently tuck a few strands of hair behind his ear before scurrying off to his own room. His face is red and his heart is beating so quickly. Minseok really, really wants to kiss Luhan.

It’s not even that though, there are so many moments that he just wishes he could wrap his arms around Luhan’s neck and slowly pull him forward to crush their lips together like some kind of movie. Still, that’s not only embarrassing but Luhan…Luhan is his best friend and Minseok isn’t the type of person that easily pushes his insecurities away. He just doesn’t. He can’t be like Baekhyun who flirts with everyone and eventually shoved his worries away in order to confess to Chanyeol, who of course, accepted him. Anyone with eyes could see how much they loved at each other. He isn’t like Yixing who managed to confess to Junmyeon with a song--- that’s so cheesy, Minseok finds himself flushing at the thought, but honestly he wouldn’t mind being serenaded by Luhan...not that he would ever admit that out loud. Well, perhaps he may in a certain situation.

Sometimes, even if he sounds like teenage girl despite being a full grown man, he decides to take a walk to calm his heart. He stops by the nearby coffee shop, pulling down on the brim of his hat and hoping that he doesn’t get recognized by people. Then again, Xiumin isn’t the one that stands out the most in EXO. He isn’t normally bitter about that though, sometimes it grants him more freedom.

Minseok orders a black coffee without thinking. After paying for it he finally questions himself. Why did he order a black coffee? He doesn’t exactly prefer it that way. He pauses and nods to himself, he ordered it because that’s what Luhan normally chose. The brunet quickly leans forward and asks that they prepare the coffee to go. He may not drink it but it could be something he gave to Luhan. Unfortunately his heart remains at a rather unsteady beat and he still isn’t ready to face him. Him being Luhan.

He can’t let his racing heart (disgusting) cause good coffee to go to waste though. Minseok idly drags his right foot along the floor, tracing the scuff marks from shoes of customers before him. How often did they clean these floors anyway. Minseok looks up, hopefully he hadn’t said that out loud. “Order number 12….” the cup was set down on the top of the counter. Minseok glances down at his ticket and realizes that was his order so he quickly grabs it and quietly thanks the man before turning back towards the door and making his way out.

He has a moment of panic as he reaches the door, was it push or pull? Thankfully there's a little sticker that reminds him it is in fact push so he makes it out of the warm little shop and into the cold unforgiving winter of Korea without looking like an idiot. He was still….an idiot that may or may not have been falling for his best friend though.

The walk back to the dorm is enough to help calm him down, the cold wind that bites at his nose and cheeks has him thinking. He thinks a lot about many things with that fifteen minute walk. The thoughts that occupy his mind the most are whether or not it was truly that simple for Yixing or for Baekhyun. It wasn’t even those two alone that had managed to confess their feelings to members of the group, it especially could not have been easy for Kyungsoo to confess to Jongin because Kyungsoo was often overwhelmed with anxiety when it came to his personal relationships. Being the oldest, Minseok knows all of this yet he had simply forgotten it because he was only thinking of himself.

Minseok grips the warm coffee in his left hand and then wraps his right hand around it, letting the warmth seep through the cup and to his hands as he tries to bring himself back to reality. A brief thought of Luhan passes his mind and of course...he still really wants to kiss him. But no, Minseok realizes that it is far more than that. He wants to wrap his hand around Luhan’s and hold it in more than just a platonic way. He wants to go to the coffee shop with Luhan but instead of sitting down opposite of each other, he wants to sit in the same booth seat as him and rest his head on his shoulder. He wants to spend movie night cuddled up the way Kyungsoo and Jongin are or the way Chanyeol and Baekhyun are.

The brunet quickly realizes with a heavy heart that he has fallen in love with his best friend and for some odd reason he feels tears sting his eyes which hurts even more in the winter. It’s like snow being held to his face as his nose slowly turns a deeper red. He turns away from the main road out of embarrassment even though not a single soul is watching him because the area is deserted. Minseok pulls a hand away from the warmth of the coffee and wipes the tears with his hand before he continues his walk.

He wonders if anybody else could see his feelings. Did he wear them on his sleeve this whole time? Was Luhan burdened by his feelings and he had no clue? His chest is tight and he is uncertain of what to do so with a heavy heart he enters the home and leans down to pull off his shoes. He’s still cold so he keeps his scarf and hat on but carefully removes his jacket after setting the coffee down for a moment.

“Minseok?” he hears Luhan’s voice calling from the living room and he is suddenly feared with both fear and warmth; he’s overjoyed but also terrified because he has fallen in love with his best friend. “Yes?” he calls through, stepping up onto the main floor from the doorway and sliding his feet into a pair of slipper before he walks to the living room. “I stopped by the regular shop and I...bought you a cup of coffee.” he murmurs quietly, to Luhan who is now standing right in front of him. Luhan’s lips curl into that smile he finds so utterly beautiful before he takes the cup and then raises it to his lips and sips it, he then thanks Minseok with that smile. Minseok forgets to breath for a moment.

After Luhan takes a few more sips of the coffee, he grips Minseok’s arm and suddenly he finds that it’s far too hot to keep on his scarf and hat so with his free arm he quickly pulls those off and sets them on the couch before Luhan leads them around the furniture and sits down, “You should’ve told me you were going to the coffee shop because we could’ve gone together.” Minseok frowns at this, “You were sleeping.” It’s common knowledge that Minseok wakes up earlier than anyone else in the dorm, “I wouldn’t kill you if you woke me up.” he chuckles, gently smacking Minseok on the arm and without thinking a small laugh makes its way out of Minseok and he smiles.

They sit in silence, the only noise coming from the tv which is playing some weird show that neither of them really care about, “Where is everyone else?” he questions as he looked around the dorm, it’s far too quiet for them to be home. “Some of them have things scheduled today but a few of them are home. I think Yixing is sleeping and so is Yifan.” Minseok nods in understanding, of course those two would be sleeping. He can’t blame them though, they practiced until late last night. Minseok opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by Luhan saying his name so he quickly closes his mouth, “Your hair a mess.” Luhan confesses, eyeing him with a soft huff. Minseok can’t help but snort, “It’s cold so I had on my hat.” even with Minseok’s heart being so annoyingly fast, it was never exactly uncomfortable between them.

Still, when a hand comes up and runs through his hair in hopes of fixing it, Minseok finds himself unable to breath and his eyes move to observe Luhan’s features. The male leans over and sets the coffee down on the table before he turns to Minseok and continues to mess with his hair. Meanwhile, Minseok allows his gaze to wander over the other’s jaw line, his nose, those eyes he could quite honestly get lost in and most of all those lips he always had this constant desire to kiss. He feels his own cheeks flush a soft shade of red so he moves to turn away but Luhan grabs his shoulder. He immediately looks down at his lap.

Minseok was beginning to panic now, he inhales sharply as Luhan stares at him, eyebrows furrowed because he was clearly worrying about Minseok do to his fidgeting. He was wearing his heart on his sleeve, his feelings could be seen, and Luhan was burdened. At least, that was how he was seeing it at this very moment. Luhan was silently asking him to put those feelings away, wasn’t he? To lock those feelings up because they were best friends. The grip on his shoulder tightens and Minseok slowly looks up, utterly terrified as to what he would see in the eyes of his best friend but instead he feels a thumb and pointer finger tilting his chin up and then he feels a sensation he would have never thought he would feel in his life.

Those lips pressing against his own. They were soft like he had imagined and he wasn’t entirely sure this was real so he prayed that it was and that if it was a dream he wouldn’t wake up, but that would make the real Luhan sad because he would be dead so he couldn’t really do that to Luhan could he? No, of course not so he couldn’t die for dream Luha-

The lips were gone, “You were taking too long so I made the first move.” Minseok’s jaw drops, “I...you..what?” his eyes widen and then he sees the faintest color appear on Luhan’s cheeks as he drops his hand and then gently grips Minseok’s in his own, “I was waiting for you to gather your thoughts and feelings before I said anything but you only seemed to get more anxious and I---” Luhan shakes his head, “Minseok, I love you.” Minseok can’t believe he hears that right. “What?” he says once more, “....I love you.” Luhan mutters, biting his lip before he nudges Minseok, “You heard me the first time, don’t make me repeat myself.”

He feels this overwhelming warmth blossom throughout his chest and and he can’t stop smiling as he feels tears hot in his eyes as he repeats the phrase back to Luhan, “I love you too.” he whispers, swallowing roughly and then Luhan was gasping, wrapping an arm around Minseok and trying to calm him down. Minseok never cries but when he hears that his best friend returns his feelings, he can’t help but do so.

He opens his eyes and through the tears he sees Luhan worrying over him but smiling because he had said those three words too and suddenly Minseok really wants to kiss Luhan.