I cry after i read eomma's letter for Jonghyun that she kept in her special box. no one are allowed to open it, even appa has no authority to open it. only before you passed away you told me that i am the one and only person who has authority of this box.

i remembered you were so angry and cried hard when appa tried to open it. since that day no one dare to opened it. but i saw eomma opened it everyday and looked so sad.

eomma always told me that 'appa' love me but i never know that what she mean is not Lee Jonghyun. is it a sarcasm eomma to find husband that share same name? 

ah.... i know, so in my birth certificate i will stated as Jonghyun's son. tough your Jonghyun isn't the one you are married with. i rummage your box again and i found a man's picture. he is around appa's age now... 57. i look at the back of the picture there stated 'Kim Jonghyun my love'.

so this man is Jonghyun. despite his age he looks so handsome. suddenly i feel so angry. does appa know about this? no he doesn't know i guess... if he knew that you are pregnant and having other man child, he will get divorce from you.

no wonder i always see appa tries hard for loving you and you pretend to return his feeling. you are so mean eomma.

i keep on rummaging your box... a lot of gift. so this is your memory box with your Jonghyun. then i find an envelope. it's written 'For Taemin'.

for me? eomma left a letter for me? i open it and read it.

'My dearest son....

when you find this letter mean  I'm not around anymore. i bet you feel disappointed and angry with me. it's ok....you have the right to do it Tae.

Tae, never in my life i find ultimate love and happiness like this when I'm with Jonghyun. before i met him, men always love me for granted or to fool me. i was about to ruin my life by having with different men. then he came like a superman and save me from that guttter.

he teaches me what is love and how to love. you must think that he only use me, but no.... he really love me sincerely. you must know how to see a sincere love. it's like when you and Minjung see each other, you know that she love you. me too Tae.

forgive eomma for never tell you or appa the truth, but this is my promise to him. he trust me with a greatest gift in this world. Taemin you are our greatest gift.

you must feel that he never love you since he rarely meet you, cuddle with you or be together with you. believe eomma Tae, he loves you so much. usually you will get 2 gifts during your birthday from eomma right? one is from him.

when you get hospitalized -the time you got a terrible accident- he came and see you (you're still in coma that time). he bought you medicines and gave eomma money to pay the hospital.

when you enter school, he gave eomma some money to pay for your school fee and asked eomma to take pictures of you wearing uniform. He cried when i show him the picture. he wanted to see you off for your first day at school, but he couldn't

when you won the dance competition, he was so happy eventough he was sick that time.

He wanted to hold you, to see you grow up, to cuddle with you, to be your pillar of strength but our condition didn't allow him to do much ofr you.

when he left, eomma loose something in my life. there is a big hole in my heart until now. i remembered you kept on asking me to go out with you, to smile and you pestered eomma to tell you why i was so sad. then i realized that i shouldn't show it to you.

Tae, he keeps some money for you as a compensation for not being able to be with you. Chanyeol will tell you as mine but it's from your real appa.

then, may eomma ask you 2 things? please promise me these 2 things.

first, don't tell your appa Lee Jonghyun about this. burn the box immediately after you see it. this belong to me....

second, please don't hate Kim Jonghyun your real appa. he really loves you.

finally Tae... eomma hope you understand me. sorry for not being able to tell you the truth all these time. I love you Taemin...Kim Taemin.

love,

Lee Eunsook

ps: i don't love Lee Jonghyun appa but i care and i love Taeyeon also'