A/N: Well here we are with the prologue! Sorry it's been a long time coming. Chapter 1 is just about ready too and should be up tomorrow. I'd planned to post them together, but since I'm lagging a little bit with the editing on chap 1, I thought I'd give you all a little appetizer! The prologue picks up right where Chapter 22 of BTC left off. Hope you enjoy! 

May 2013 – Seoul

I can’t read your feelings since you try not to meet eyes with me.
Because I feel like a lost child, I just wait.
Truthfully, I know what you’re going to say,
But I can feel that it’s not your whole heart; your tears tell me--

Don’t say goodbye.
I can hear your heart telling me not to let go of your hands.
I can hear you heart; You still just want me.
You can’t hide it, you can’t lie.

I won’t allow it - your lie of wanting to separate.
Look in my eyes and tell me,
It’s not…it’s not the truth.

Don’t say goodbye.
I can hear your heart telling me not to let go of your hands.
I can hear your heart; 
Even if the world turns its back on us; Even if it’s a painful love,
You are my love, you are my soul.

Don’t say goodbye, don’t leave me now.
The promises we’ve shared are everything to me.

Don’t say goodbye, you are my everything to me.
My tired days only look for you.
Like a pond which won’t dry, I’ll love you.
You are my love, you are my soul.

Don’t say goodbye, you are the only one for me.
As if nothing has happened, if today passes,
Let’s not let go of each other, and we’ll make it through,
Cause you are my everything to me.
Cause you are my everything to me.

Jung Yunho, leader of the world famous Hallyu sensation TVXQ, super star idol loved by all who knew him, closed the door to Kim Jaejoong’s penthouse (equally famous super star idol, ex-member of TVXQ and former lover). He stood in the hall, leaning against the other man’s door, taking deep breaths and closing his eyes, attempting to center himself.

He had just spent one of the most magical nights of his life with the man who was supposedly his ex lover. But if that was the case why had there been so much passion? How was it possible to have such intense feelings if they were still “over?”

After holding the beautiful foxlike man in his arms again, after tasting him and feeling his breath against his skin, hearing his sighs, he’d had a moment of clarity: he was still in love with Jaejoong. He still wanted him—desperately. And he didn’t care that he was in love with a man, didn’t care that his parents expected him to marry a woman. No one had ever made him feel the way Jaejoong made him feel—it was undeniable even though he’d tried to deny it for so long.

But Jaejoong kept saying that things happened the way they should have, that they had to move on, blah, blah, blah. He seemed to think there was no way for them to be together…

And maybe he was right. There were too many risks and dangers involved since they were such public figures, since there were still legal tensions between their agencies, since they were “gay” men in culturally conservative Korea. Sometimes it felt like the whole world was against them.

So yeah, he supposed it was sensible to just admit things would never work out and do his best to move on with his life—for once Jaejoong was being the sensible one!

He wasn’t sure if he could accept that though. How was he supposed to let go after that intense night, that powerful connection they still shared? They had made love passionately and realized that old bond was still just as strong as ever.

No. He didn’t think he could ever love anyone else the way he loved Jaejoong. He had tried to; tried to find a girl who might ease the hold the beautiful singer had on his heart, even the slightest bit. But replacing Kim Jaejoong was impossible—he saw that now—and more than that he didn't want to try. He was tired of living a lie.

Yunho turned and looked at the door, wondering if he should storm back in there and stand his ground, throw all caution to the wind (that had been the theme of the last 24 hours). He took a deep breath and did his best to hold onto some semblance of sanity. He'd been serious when he told Jaejoong he had to get back before his manager showed up at 9am to fetch him. He would have some serious explaining to do if he wasn’t home, and if it slipped out that he'd been with the former TVXQ member there'd be unnecessary complication.

Yunho dragged himself unwillingly towards the elevators and down to the private garage. When he got to his car another wave of bleak reality struck him. He couldn't believe yesterday he'd been telling himself he just wanted to see Jaejoong one last time to clear the air, to put an end to the ongoing saga of YunJae.

Could he have known it would end the way it did—that they would come together, make love and laugh and cry and remember how precious their feelings for each other really were?

How could he have expected that?

Maybe…at the very back of his mind he'd thought—hoped—there was a slight possibility of something physical happening. But he never thought it would feel like he'd been knocked off his feet, hit by an arrow straight to his heart. He’d always been powerless against Jaejoong’s charms and it was no different now even after being apart for so long.  

As he climbed behind the wheel of his Audi, still in the dress clothes he’d been wearing for yesterday's interview at KBS and surrounded by familiar things, grounded, he had a momentary thought, a feeling that maybe Jaejoong was right (maybe he was always right)—there just was no way to make it work between them. He had his life and his work, just like Jaejoong was busy and preoccupied with his own. The life they'd chosen, the path they’d taken, didn't allow for that kind of happiness.

As he exited the parking garage and headed back to Cheongdam, he felt that melancholy set back in, that deep malaise hanging over him like a weighted suit—something he had forgotten about while in Jaejoong's sweet embrace. He felt his chest tighten in pain at the thought of the other man, his soft pale skin, his kind, loving energy and dark heavenly eyes; Yunho shook his head as tears once again began to well.

This wasn't right.

He couldn't go on like this. He couldn't keep living a half-life they way he'd been doing since they had split up. No more—he needed Jaejoong in his life; he could see that now.

Yunho did his best to calm his heavy heart and conflicted mind. He had to focus on getting back, on preparing for the day. There were things to do, work to take care of. But he knew this wasn’t over. He wasn’t giving up.

There had to be a way to make it work. There had to be a way to get him back. He would find a way. Somehow, Jung Yunho always did.

To Be Continued...