// Music: Heartbreak Hotel (inst.) – Tiffany //

If the world was crumbling, crashing on you, burying you beneath the ground, suffocating you, taking it all, the air from your lungs, the blood from your veins and everything else; if that was an emotion, then that is exactly what I’m feeling right now. The feeling is beyond my vocabulary. It’s more than pain, hurt, devastation and other synonymous words. Or maybe it was a combination of all.

“Tiffany let’s go,” I heard Sunny say as she tried pulling me away from the scene but I just stood there, feet stuck to the ground, the weight of my emotions crippling me.

I wanted to shout at him. No words, just shout, to let all my frustrations out. The feeling is so overwhelming that it’s creeping on my chest, trying to break free. But honestly, what do I get out of that? To hear him apologize? That wouldn’t change anything, that wouldn’t change the fact that he cheated on me and it broke everything we built.

It’s so funny how just hours ago I was thinking of him, missing him, even wanting to see how he’s doing, when in truth he’s actually out with another girl. Did I even cross his mind today? What about yesterday? Does he even feel the guilt while he’s doing this? I almost wanted to laugh at myself for being so stupid. Oh, Tiffany Hwang, how can you be so stupid?

I got myself caught in his tangled mess of lies. It’s over for us.

He finally looked up and his eyes went wide, blood draining from his face looking as if he had just seen a ghost. “Tiff?” there was a mix of panic and shock in his voice. My breath got stuck in my throat, wanting to yell at him but I couldn’t. I almost broke down on the spot seeing him eye to eye if not for Sunny holding me by the shoulders.

I balled my fist as I closed my eyes, trembling, trying so hard to hold it all in. It took me a lot of self-control to not go after him and that girl to cause a scene. If I do something right now I might just break.

“What the hell?” I heard a loud slap, it was clear from here. “You told me you already broke up with her! We are so over Nick! I’m not tolerating a cheater,” it caused quite a commotion as the crowd went silent after that.

I can feel Sunny grabbing me by the shoulders, pulling me away, “Tiffany come on, I’ll go talk to him,” she whispered. I was breathing so hard that I’m almost hyperventilating.

I wish I could just disappear right now. I wished that this was all just a twisted dream where I could wake up from, laughing about it in the morning, calling him on the phone to talk about it just to say how ridiculous it is. But it’s not, and this isn’t a dream.

I dragged my feet across the pavement, I could barely carry myself. That moment I felt so vulnerable, so helpless, and ruined. I don’t even know where we were going as my vision was too blurry because of the pooling tears in my eyes. I just hoped I wouldn’t get to see his face or hear his voice ever again, not even his name being mentioned.

“Wait here,” I hear Sunny’s voice again and then I felt someone wrap their arms around me, enclosing me in a warm embrace. I just broke down, feeling all the weight on my knees.

I finally let all my tears out.

I cried, because I believed in him.

I cried, because I trusted him.

I cried, because I loved him.

- - -

“Sunny, just let me talk to her, please!” a pleading voice echoed throughout the silence of the isolated space. Sunny has led him behind the tall grass wall just near the pool, trying to avoid the onlookers from the party.

“Look Nick, I can guarantee you that she doesn’t want to see you right now, so please… just leave her alone.” Sunny said, blocking the said guy away from running to her bestfriend.

“I want to apologize, please, tell her I’m sorry for—”

“Apologize?” she almost snickered. “No amount of sorry could ever change this and you know that the moment you started this…this you pulled. Honestly, what are you going to tell her?” Sunny said, crossing her arms looking intimidating. “Hey Tiff? Sorry it was my mistake. I cheated on you with a girl from our college that I’m forking for months now that I also by the way, tried so so hard to hide from you but got caught red-handed anyway and still deny it? Ha.” she said in a mocking tone.

“I-I don’t….” the man ran his hand through his hair sighing hard, frustration apparent on his face. “God, I really messed up.”

“Tell me Nick, really. How do you think that’s going to make her feel? She caught you several times Nick, but you know what? She still believed in you and your lies! She even tried to convince us that you wouldn’t do such things!” Sunny raised her voice a little. “You broke her trust Nick, I can’t believe I tolerated you because I could see how much she loved you. I couldn’t say anything to her since in that pretty head of hers you are her oh so perfect man, but you’re not so perfect now since you cheated on her with another girl, huh?”

“I could explain Sunny, I could explain—“

“Hey you! Nichkhun!” a shout vibrated in thin air, “You ing !” It was Yuri who was speed walking with heavy footsteps towards the two with Sooyoung trailing behind, trying to stop her. She looked so enraged that she could hit someone right now.

“You dare hurt Tiffany huh?!” Yuri pushed the man, making him tumble backwards a little. “I can’t believe I helped in setting you two up with each other and this is what you do!” she spat.

“Yul—“ Sooyoung pulled her back and Sunny was blocking the two from going at each other.

“We won’t let you hurt her anymore, it’s over for the both of you,” Yuri snarled at him, nostrils flaring, “so don’t you ever come near her again you hear me?!” she gave him her one last final glare.

The man just stood there, brows furrowed, eyes wide, chewing on the side of his lips, “I’ll be back,” he was breathing loudly through his nose as he pointed at the group menacingly. He stepped backwards and walked away.

“Don’t you do anything stupid now you ! My dad is an officer!” Sooyoung shouted to his retreating back.

Tiffany lay on the couch, her legs pulled up at an angle by the pillow under her legs. Taeyeon suggested to do that in order to circulate her blood, thankful that she has learned that from her P.E. class in highschool. Tiffany looked stiff, eyes puffy and her face looked so pale. Hyoyeon was fanning her using a magazine she has picked up from under the coffee table.

Taeyeon fixed Tiffany’s hair, tucking it behind her ears. “She looks so beautiful yet so delicate, like if I hold her in my hands she’d just slip through my fingers,” she admired the face for a while and did a sad sigh as she placed her hands over Tiffany’s.

“What an appropriate time to be a romantic my dear cousin Taeyeon,” Hyoyeon commented.

Rushed footsteps came in clicking on the floor, signaling someone coming.

“How is she?” Sunny said, her voice sounding brittle as she approached Taeyeon and Hyoyeon.

“Still knocked out, but her breathing is steady now,” Taeyeon said looking over to Sunny.

“Thank goodness, how long has she been out cold?” Sunny went over to hold Tiffany’s wrist feeling her pulse.

“Not more than 10 minutes,” Hyoyeon replied, looking at the digital clock displayed on the wall.

“She’s probably exhausted, this wasn’t the first time she fainted from crying,” Sunny got up, getting her phone from her jeans pocket. “I’ll go tell my brother-in-law if we could stay here until morning,” she added, walking at a distance.

“Hey,” Yuri went over to lay her hand on Taeyeon’s shoulders, rubbing it gently. “I think you and Hyoyeon should go and rest now, we can take it from here, we’ve caused enough trouble for you guys,”

“No, no, it’s no trouble, I’ll just wait until Tiffany wakes up so I can properly say good bye,” Taeyeon said, glancing over to Hyoyeon.

“Me too,” Hyoyeon said looking at Yuri, “I intended to be up all night anyways,” she smirked at the woman.

“Oh?” Taeyeon raised her eyebrows. “Is there something going on between you guys?” she looked from Hyoyeon to Yuri.

“Please shut up Taeyeon,” Hyoyeon reacted, smiling at Taeyeon sarcastically. “Anyways, where were you earlier Yuri?”

“Me? Well I was in the comfort room, you know, doing my thing,” Yuri laughed awkwardly and gulped. “…then Sooyoung called me about all the commotion here. Boy am I hungry, are you guys hungry? I’ll go get us something to eat.” Yuri said about to get up, and beads of sweat was starting to form on her forehead.

“Oh don’t change the subject,” Hyoyeon held her by the wrist. “…what kind of things Yuri?”

Taeyeon can only laugh internally and shake her head at the interaction of the two. It wasn’t a secret to her that Hyoyeon swings both ways and that Yuri plays for the other team like her too. In fact, earlier she caught on that Yuri was trying to make Hyoyeon jealous by being overly flirty with her. She loved the reactions she was getting from Hyoyeon so she played along, though most of it was her cousin getting back at Yuri by trying to ‘seduce’ the girl such as ‘accidentally’ spilling beer on herself just along the cleavage, asking Yuri to help her clean it up. Poor girl probably got frustrated.

“You guys wanna eat?” by fate, Sooyoung came in with assorted chips and cans of soda, saving Yuri like an angel in disguise.

“Yeah I do actually, but I’m craving for some tacos,” Hyoyeon got up, still holding Yuri by the wrist. “…and Yuri here will accompany me to get some, right?” her voice was sultry.

Taeyeon almost choked on her seat hearing the seemingly innocent statement coming from her cousin. She turned her slightly reddening face to the side to hold herself back from laughing out loud. Hyoyeon could be very direct, something she wished she possessed.

Yuri got up from her seat, face lit up, looking like she just won the lottery. “Tell Sunny we left to get something to eat and call me as soon as Tiffany wakes up, okay?” she walked away with Hyoyeon briskly, not even bothering to look back.

“Okay then suit yourselves, more food for us,” Sooyoung commented as she threw packs of chips on the table. “…they’re acting weird,” she whispered just as the two were out of earshot and passed Taeyeon a can of fruit soda.

“Thanks mate,” Taeyeon said, still trying to hide her laughter from the scene that has unfolded in front of her.

“So, Taeyeon,” Sooyoung started, “…what were you guys talking about before I got here?” she munched on some chips.

“Just stuff, nothing interesting really,” Taeyeon gritted through her teeth, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Oh, I see.” Sooyoung continued munching on her chips. “How long are you staying?”

“Just after she wakes up I guess,” Taeyeon trailed off, drinking from the can, “I need to say bye,” and then she looked at the girl laying down on the long couch.

“Are you guys like childhood friends or something? Tiffany never mentioned you to us.”

“Maybe we are…” Taeyeon smiled, still looking Tiffany. “I don’t know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Sooyoung replied, looking baffled.

- - -

“I told you I’ll be back in the morning, stop acting like you don’t see me every day.” Taeyeon said over the phone.

“You know it’s already 3 a.m.” said the caller.

Taeyeon looked at her watch. Indeed it was already 3:09 a.m., she suddenly felt really sleepy and suppressed a yawn.

“I have less than 9 hours of morning left, why are you still awake at this time anyway?”

“I couldn’t sleep. Oliver went back with a girl, heard them talking a while ago,” the caller paused, whispering, “…probably a fan or something. I can hear them shagging in the room next to mine right now.”

“Couldn’t they have booked a hotel room or something?” Taeyeon scrunched her nose.

“The hotels nearby are all occupied you know, helloooo it’s Coachella week.”

“Yeah its Coachella week and you chose to stay there being bloody bored and nag at me for not going back early, go bother our manager or someone else.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault my cycle chose to be literally bloody inconvenient today, and we have weekend 2 anyway, same line up.”

“Until now I still can’t believe that we’re actually going to play here on stage, we’re not that big yet so this is such a big thing for us—” Taeyeon looked up at the ceiling, trying to gather her thoughts. “I can recall so vividly a year ago we went here to have fun, and now this year were actually included on the lineup. I mean, out of all the bands that could be chosen it was us. It’s just, so unreal you know—” she said in Korean.

“Here we go again with that talk, save that for later Tae.” the caller laughed, also responding in Korean. ”So... have you met someone who recognized you yet?” they switched back to English.

“Let me recall,” Taeyeon thought for a moment, walking blindly in the corridor. “So this afternoon there was this group I walked pass by and they said hi. Does that count?” she halted in her steps.

“They didn’t ask for an autograph? Maybe they were just being friendly.” the caller said jokingly.

“Ha-ha-ha,” Taeyeon pretended to laugh. “Oh and by the way Jess? I found my cousin Hyoyeon. You remember her right? I think she was your ex something, I forgot—” she said in a teasing voice, grinning through the phone. She swore she heard a gasp from the other line.

“What did she say?” the caller said in a vigorous manner.

“Well, she asked me how you’re doing and I said nothing changed much except your rapidly declining tastes in men.” Taeyeon laughed heartily, throwing her head back a little. “Oh and she also asked me if you’re dating right now and I told her—”

“Taeyeon send me her contact card, now!”

“Have you gone bonkers Jess? She’s out with another girl at the moment,”

“Oh blow me, we’ll have a bloody three-way for all I care.”

“Chill mate! Don’t delve into details! I’ll ask for her permission first,”

“Okay, hold on a sec.” the caller paused. “I think Brooke just got back,”

“With someone?” Taeyeon asked.

“No, he’s alone I think,”

“Good, now you have someone else to bother instead of me,”

“Why do you want to get rid of me that much? Did you find someone else there…”

“It’s none of your business Jess,”

“So you really did! Ha! I’ll be expecting a story later love,”

“I’m ending the call now, bye love you!” she said in the most sarcastic way ever.

“Love you too bye,” the caller said unenthusiastically.

Taeyeon ended the call and smiled at her phone. She didn’t notice Sunny who was sitting in the corner sofa at the corridor who was observing her all this time.

“Hi Taeyeon, I think we should talk.”