“So, still like kids?” Jaejoong walked behind Yunho.

The male flipped around and smiled a bright one. “Hey, you’re here.”

“I said I would come.” He beamed.

“I know,” he muttered, swallowing his smile. “A form of greeting, nothing in it.”

Sitting back down Yunho waited for Jaejoong to take the seat opposite from him. It had been a month and a half since they last seen each other. They had finally managed to set up a time to meet and talk.

Jaejoong wanted an update on Yunho’s familia matter, And Yunho needed to rant to someone that would listen to him without judging him in the private of their head. If Jaejoong had something to say to him he would. Yunho appreciated that.  

Yunho had texted Jaejoong asking if he was doing anything on Saturday evening Friday afternoon during lunch at school in the teacher’s lounge. He had readily replied with a quick no and that he would be happy to go get drinks with him.

“Sorry, I’ve already ordered something.” Yunho looked at his drink and back at Jaejoong who shook his head and waved his apology away. “It’s okay.” Jaejoong called the waiter over and ordered his drink.  “How’s work?” Jaejoong asked as they waited for his order.

“Teenagers are wild,” Yunho sighed, thumbing his glass of drink, making the little cube of ice melting in the brown liquor clink against the fogged walls.

Jaejoong looked at him with a smug expression as he placed his elbow on the table and rest his cheek on his palm. “Told you.”

“Still like them, though.” He winked, answering Jaejoong’s previous question when he walked in and laughed at the face of complete disgusted Jaejoong managed  to morph his smiling visage into. “You’re crazier than I thought.”

“Kids are not that bad, you know?”

“Do I?” Jaejoong laughed. His dark, well shaped eyebrows swinging up as he did.

Jaejoong had a gorgeous smile. It was a wide, unapologetic, strawberry red smile that consumed his whole face sipping into his eyes and setting them ablaze with pleasure. Yunho wanted to always be under the sun that simmered low in Jaejoong’s dark lovely eyes.

They made small conversation till Jaejoong’s drink was brought over. They caught up on their work, coworkers and life between the months that they’d spent not conversing. In fact, they’d only talked once during the whole month. In the years since they’ve known each other they’ve spent four months without calling or seeing each other in person till one day one of them called the other out for drinks. Jaejoong had been the one to call Yunho out that time. They didn’t feel like their friendship was one where they needed to constantly be in the other's face and mind. All that mattered to the two males was that when they really needed the other they both know they would always make time to be there. That was all that mattered.

After Jaejoong was given his drink as he took a sip he finally asked what he desperately wanted to be filled on. “So, how did it go? Did you go to the wedding.”

Yunho slid his fingertips against the side of his beer mug, getting rid of some of the fog—making a clear line that quickly fogged up again. He teared his gaze away from the beer mug and stared at Jaejoong’s handsome face as he lowered his drink and swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “You said to at least think about it.”

Jaejoong nodded, encouraging him.

“I did. A lot. She is my sister. Only sister.” He stopped and sighed. “She has reached out to me over the years and I am the one that has rejected her.”

Jaejoong nodded, deciding to give his friend the comfort of silence.

“Not going could hurt our relationship, I thought—I mean, the thing we have that cannot even be considered as a relationship.” He lifted the corner of his lips to form a dry, bitter grin. “It is just that…” he sighed and carded his fingers through his silky hair. “She never tried to understand. She is like my parents when it comes to my uality.”

Jaejoong made a sour expression, lowering his drink. “I am sorry.”

He shook his head. “It is okay. Which is why I was reluctant. I am...entering my adulthood and I am not a kid anymore. Which is why I decided to go.”

“You went!” Jaejoong smiled.

Yunho nodded. “Yep. I went.”

“So, how was it?” Jaejoong leaned forward, a low fire of interest burned in the bottom of his large brown eyes. Yunho loved Jaejoong’s eyes. They were large and shaped like a puppy’s eyes and appeared to be bottomless.

“They appeared somewhat...excited to see me.” He pressed his lips together after saying that.

“For real?” Jaejoong leaned back, his visage clearing up, whatever hope he had fled . “That’s good, right?” he cocked an eyebrow.

“Well,” Yunho chuckle humorlessly. “I would expect them to miss their only son after not hearing a thing from him for a little over five years. Don’t you think so, too?”

“Hey,” Jaejoong tried to be uplifting, “remember, your parents will always love you, as my momma said. They might not agree with something or things, but—”

Yunho interjected, “All I am asking from them is to accept me as I am.”

Jaejoong bit his bottom lip, keeping quiet. Quite frankly, he didn’t know what else to say to comfort his friend. He couldn’t say they will open their eyes one day. It had already been five years. He know what Yunho felt, because he himself suffered through the same thoughts and emotions everyday too. He might still had his parents in his life, but he knew that he could lose them any day. There was a one hundred percent chance that his parents would not accept him. He was their only son, they want him to marry a girl of their liking and give them a lot of grandbabies to shake on their knees. He could still give them biological grandkids while having a partner of his choosing, but they would never settle for that. He didn’t want to risk severing his relationship with his parents.

“That is not too much, right?”

Jaejoong shook his head and muttered, “No. It is not.”

Yunho nodded and finished recounting his visit back to his hometown and what occurred between him and his parents and extended family. He said in a low dejected voice that he almost had a nervous breakdown when he arrived at the venue. He didn’t tell his sister he was there in fear of her getting him in the same place as their parents. He planned to go to the wedding, find her afterwards and give her his wedding gift then leave. His father was the one that saw him. He recounted the awkward feeling of being rooted to the ground when you simply desired to be bird to fly away and make a quick escape or be invisible so that you could dash away without being documented. His mother had seen him next, as she was next to her husband. Her eyes had gotten watery and a smile had waltzed on her shock visage before she smoothed her weathered face and walked toward him with his shocked father following after her. He had stepped back and bumped into the person behind him. After apologizing he had coldly bowed and greeted his parents all the while alarmed. They had asked after his well being, commenting on his graduation and new job. He had been the first one to leave. He refused to let his parents destroy his happiness. He had a job now and could support himself, he was not a sixteen year old with no mean of supporting himself and stuck under his parents tyrannical dictatorship.

He was free to be happy, be himself.

As he had already ran away from home and their negativeness he suddenly found some hidden courage and excused himself in a firm voice, when he feared his voice would tremble, and spun on his heel and walked away. The feeling of triumph sizzled through him, coursing through his veins and filling him with a euphoric feelings.

It had been thrilling.

They looked much older. His father now had gray hair appearing on the side of his head. His mother had more wrinkles. They looked tired.  it had been nice to see them in good health. Yunho didn’t hate them. He didn’t think he could ever completely hate his parents, but he knew he didn’t like them as a child should love their parents.

“Are you glad you went?” Jaejoong seeked softly.

Yunho shrugged, spinning his beer mug on the smooth surface of the table top. “I still care for them. They’re my parents.”

“I am sure they love you, too, Yunho,” he murmured, reaching to lay the his rough fingertips on Yunho’s clenched fist.

He wasn’t too sure about that. He feared they might feel as he did about them. He was trying to tell himself that he didn’t mind. After all, he still felt guilty for loving them as he did—a half, forced love by society.

He retreated and nodded. “I am trying to not let it get to me.”

“Good.”

“But it hurts being rejected by the two people that are supposed to love you and have your back no matter what.”

Jaejoong’s throat and chest tightened at the raw pain he heard in Yunho’s shaky voice.

Pushing his encounter with his parents to the back of his mind, he forgot about them in no time as he got back to his normal routine of working long hours and getting home late.

One weekend, three months after the dreadful encounter, Changmin pushed him off his couch and told him to go have fun and meet some new folks. He should start dating again. His last relationship took place his sophomore year of university.

His last partner had destroyed love and relationship for him due to his desire to have a farce relationship with a girl, which Yunho hadn’t want to do—he didn’t want to hurt a poor girl by helping who should be only his man cheat on a poor oblivious woman that never asked for a gay man to date her and have her become his beard—and keep him on the down low like a dirty little secret after his parents started to suspected him. Yunho refused to be anyone’s ‘dirty’ little secret. Of course, that only happened after he dated a man, an older one because he thought they were more situated and emotionally mature, and had to be told he was getting married, but he still loved Yunho and would always love him but his parents were forcing his hands and he ‘couldn’t,’ not wouldn’t, but couldn’t come out. Yunho had been extremely hurt and angry. After all, he should had said couldn’t, not wouldn’t, because this was his choices. Which Yunho made sure he was aware of.

Yunho was scarred after those two bad relationship which took placed in succession. He feared getting close to someone and only to lose them later on due to societal pressure to conform and be anything but homoual. He wanted to love and be loved in peace and in bright truth. He didn't want to be shrouded in dark lies. He didn’t want to be anyone’s little, dirty, secret. He wanted to be number one and the only one.

He just wanted to be loved.

Thinking that he should tune the med student out, after three minutes he decided that Changmin was right and he should go out there and enjoy life. He needed to get some release. His right hand had reached its limit. He wanted to to hold someone warm that night. Someone alive.

Getting up to get ready to leave he called Jaejoong, he didn't answer. Later as he waved “Later” to Changmin his phone rang. Jaejoong called to ask after he reason for his miscall. When he learned of the reason he had to apologized because he couldn’t join him. Not letting that get him down he still settled on a club that he had frequented before and knew would be filled to the brim with gay guys, and possible hot ones that he might be interested in and went there.

Yunho had been right. The club was filled with one hot guy that he liked.

As he went up to the counter and called for the bartender’s attention a man, whom he had suspected to be three years or so older than him looked at him and smiled. He struck a conversation.

His name was Haneul and was, in fact, four years older than him and a banker. They liked each other too much after their four hour long conversation to not exchanged phone numbers.

Yunho’s thought of one night stand quickly went out of the window. He wanted to see where his meeting with Haneul would lead. He was intrigued.

The next morning when Yunho woke up, Haneul texted him good morning.

“You’re very popular with your students, huh?” Yunho’s coworker, another young teacher, Nayoung beamed at him as she passed him a mug of coffee.

“Thank you,” he quickly thanked her. He had needed that mug of coffee. Sighing in pleasure he went in for a sip.

“I heard you got another confession today,” she laughed, pulling her chair and sitting down. Her small desk, which was right next to Yunho’s in the teacher’s office room, mirrored his with the piles of papers and folders of all colors and size and the sticky notes pressed everywhere to remind them of tasks easily forgotten.

“Huh?” he blinked at her. She sipped her own hot coffee with a small grin. “You’re awake now?” she joked.

Since they were right next to each other and the same age, they had hit it off. But he had the sinking suspicious that she might see him in a romantic light. He laughed and scratched his nape. “This has been a very long and strenuous morning.” He lifted an eyebrow in her direction. “You seemed to have had an amazing one.”

She swallowed the dark brew. “Hmm nmm. Nope. I needed this caffeine in my system before I blew off on one of my poor, innocent student. Are you ignoring the question, by the way?”

He shook his head. “No, of course not. What question would that be?”

She laughed and shook her head in an endearing manner. “I can see why the girls swoon for you.”

He chuckled but didn’t comment on her statement.

That day he had found a folded white piece of paper on his desk from one of his female students. He had called her to the teacher’s office in between class change with the new teacher going in to teach the new subject. She had his class, Chemistry, at the very end of the day. That is one of the two classes that students and not teachers changed classes for—The other one was PE. Yunho knew news traveled fast, but that had been extremely fast.

“Did you put her down gently?” she fished for information.

He nodded. “Of course.” He chugged down the rest of his cooling coffee. “Thanks for the coffee, again.” He handed her a piece of minty gum in exchanged. She seemed touched by his exchanged. “Thank you,” she smiled widely, squeezing the hand with the little ball of white gum with light green flakes on it.

Another teacher saved him from her a few moments later.

“Now I am wondering if that is why you decided to become a teacher.”

When he told Jaejoong of the crazy things that happened to him at his work, he couldn’t stop laughing and teasing him.

Yunho shook his head, placing his drink on the table. “Nope. That is not why. Teenage girls scare me.”

“They better!” Jaejoong grinned, pointing his forefinger at him in a joking manner.

Yunho  gripped his finger and lowered his hand. “Stop.”

They were having dinner for the third time in four weeks. Yunho hadn’t shared with Jaejoong about Haneul except that he made a friend and that he was interested in him. He had been getting to know Haneul over the past months since they met that night. They had gone on a few dates, but no kissing or touching as of yet. They were simply getting to know each other.

Haneul said he wanted something that would last and was real, Yunho wanted the same thing, he hoped they would both get their wish with each other. Haneul was a handsome and caring man,. Yunho had a thing for caring people with nice smiles. He didn’t hold a candle to Jaejoong's beauty, but caring nature accentuated his already slightly above average looks.

“Hey,” Jaejoong pointed his chopstick at Yunho, “when do you plan to introduce Haneul to me?”

He blushed a bit, making Jaejoong laugh. “We’re not dating. That’d be awkward.”

Jaejoong shook his head, chewing his food. “I do not think so. We could become friends too. Just invited him one day when we grab dinner.”

“I do not know,” he muttered reluctantly.

Jaejoong frowned at him sketching a smile on his face. “I’ll think about it. That is what I was going to add.”

“Of course,” Jaejoong rolled his eyes, jesting. “I think it is very important that you introduce the man that you’re interested in to your friend,” he winked making a deep blush to fan Yunho's cheek, putting the prior one to shame. He sharply cleared his throat. Sniggering Jaejoong place Yunho’s favorite food from the offering before them on his bowl. “I hope he is good to you. Seems like you like him, huh?”

Yunho cleared his throat again and reached for his drink, downing it in one go. Jaejoong chortled at what he considered as very cute of Yunho.

Jaejoong reached for the sake bottle and as he poured him more he remarked on his behavior, “You know you’re really cute when you’re shy like that,” he said.

Yunho didn’t dwell on his comment. “Stop making fun of me. We’re just talking.” He in turn filled Jaejoong’s almost empty tumbler.

“But you feel something,” Jaejoong remarked.

He shrugged and accepted the food Jaejoong had given him. Jaejoong sipped the liquid his friend had poured for him with a grin at Yunho’s act. He obviously like the guy.

He didn't fault Yunho for wanting to take it slow. He had been taking it slow since his last boyfriend cheated on him, too. He simply wanted to focus on his job and life at the moment, however, he wanted Yunho’s immediate happiness.

Yunho seemed to want it so he wanted it too. He was quite fond of the male.