Part Twelve—Present Time…

“There is no love for people like us,” Yunho finished saying.

The host let out a soft, nervouse chuckle. He seemed almost desperate as if he knew what Yunho was thinking. “Do not think like that. Just because you’ve met a few rotten apples—”

Yunho’s laughter stopped him. “Few? The first time, shame on him, the second time shame on me, and the third time, I am just stupid 'cause I saw that coming. I do not blame him. I blame myself.”

“No!” The host screeched. His desperation mounting new heights. “Do not blame yourself. Blame him. He deserves to be blamed.”

Yunho simply laughed. “I am sorry. This is not a therapy session. I am sorry that my story was too heavy.”

“No. Thank you for calling. Just know that—”

Yunho rapidly cut him off. This was his first time telling another his story. Now he had just told the whole country his story. It was nice that the host didn’t seem disgusted by his aulity.

Chuckling he finished, “I loved him so much that I pray for his happiness. But I also deserve to be happy. And I feel that if he had heeded my warnings and let us stayed as friends I could be more happy for him, because then, I would also be happy.” Inhaling he thanked the station, the host, and all of the listeners. “I’ve taken enough of your time as it is. I am sorry again, but...I must go. I cannot see my reflection.”He ended the called with his cryptic statement, which was not cryptic at all. He enable the host from saying anything else to him.

He was by the river, staring down at the dark water. The water was gleaming and he could see the reflection of the stars and the large moon, but he could not see the outline of his face down there.  

The host had sounded as if he wanted to save Yunho from himself. As if he knew how fresh the wound was. How much alcohol he had in his system, how sad he was. It was as if he knew how much he loved Jaejoong and couldn’t continue on without him.

He was tired of the society he lived in. He was tired of his hateful parents. He wanted to make them cry. He was tired of his lovers for stomping on him as they had. He had given them his heart, his soul, his body, and they had repaid him intears and insecurities.

He was now simply tired.

He was tired of Jaejoong for breaking up with him with words of love.

Gipping the steel railing, he loomed over the water.

He grinned.

He really couldn’t see his reflection.

Jaejoong had gotten up and grabbed his keys the moment he heard him said “I cannot see my reflection.”

“Where are you going?" Junsu asked, alarmed.

Jaejoong flicked him a quick glance as he dashed out of the hotel room. “To Yunho.”

“Hey!” Junsu ran after him into the hall, but stopped at the door staring at Jaejoong’s disappearing back as he ran with all of his strength. “What’s wrong?” Junsu muttered closing the door. “How does he know where Yunho is?” He thought outloud as the program went for a break and commercials started.

Getting out of his car he walked towards Yunho’s car on shaky legs. Jaejoong prayed he was inside.

He had known where he was because of his tone.

The host wasn’t the only one that had have the sinking feeling the longer he listened to Yunho that he was going to do something irreparable. And of course, there had been the sound of cars dashing by. He could only be at the river. Their river.

Where the water gleamed and meet the sky.

He had prayed just because he had already felt the truth, that when he got there Yunho would be there and he could talk him out of whatever he was going to do. He wouldn’t marry her tomorrow. They could run away. He could tell his mother that he was gay and love Yunho. She would have to accept him—he was her only son.

But, the more gas he had given his car, the clearer it had become to him that Yunho had jumped.

He was gone.

He wasn’t able to correct his errors.

Shaking with tears streaming down his cheeks, he stood next to the rails, where he knew Yunho had stood before him. Just a moment ago, he stood there and then he had jumped in.

It was his fault.

Shaking his head Jaejoong reached for his phone. Maybe Yunho was still here with them. He needed to get help. They could pull him out and resuscitate him. He just needed to be fast. He couldn’t be gone. A moment ago he was on the radio talking about them. He didn’t take that long to get to this site.

He rue the day he met Yunho and the day he confessed to him and pulled him under. He also rue the day he brought him to this site.

He should’ve had never fallen in love with him. He should have had apologized more. He should’ve had never agreed to get married and break up with Yunho. He should’ve had told his mother the truth and got with the man he loved and would always love. He should’ve had never want behind his back. But most of all, he should had given him fair warnings as he'd asked for.

He was a horrible piece of human being. He didn’t deserve to live on while he made Yunho suffer as he had. He had known what his biggest worry was, he had promised he would be different, but look at what he had done.

At that moment, Jaejoong hated himself more than anyone else and contemplated jumping after Yunho and meeting the same fate as his soul mate. Could he continue on breathing when he wasn’t?

He had have hopes of reconciling with Yunho in the future and divorcing the woman he would swore the rest of his life to tomorrow, but now it was all over.

If only he had been true to his heart and not a coward.

All he had ever needed and wanted was Yunho.

Putting his shaky hand inside his pants pocket he pulled out his phone and made to call the cops. He still had hoped they could salvage everything and he would get to apologized to a breathing Yunho,  when he saw an icon for a message from Yunho. He clicked on it and read what he wrote:

There isn’t any stars out tonight. I wanted to end this like it started: With the water gleaming under the moon-lit night sky. Like the time we walked next to each other after having dinner, and the time you consoled me on the bank, and also the time you told me to trust you and let you loved me. That love had glamed in your eyes, like the moon had made the water gleamed. I love you. I will always love you. I can never stop loving you. I hope for you to be happy…….Be happy.

PS. It is not your fault. I do not blame you.

PPS. Be happy. Please.

The end

Writer’s note: Thank you for reading^^ If you liked the story or have anything you want to share with me, please comment—I would really appreciate it. :)