That time when Yifan thought Chanyeol would break, only to be saved by a pair of little hands.

"I'm home," Yifan calls out from the doorway of their small apartment home. Looking down, a small smile creeps up his face as he notices two pairs of shoes laying on the mat - one belonging to Chanyeol, the other to their adopted son Sehun, who had just turned four years old a few months back.

It wasn't easy getting Chanyeol to give the 'okay' signal for them to adopt a child - heck, it wasn't easy to get Chanyeol to agree to almost anything. It had always been like that for years; from when he and Chanyeol first met to when they finally became a couple. Chanyeol would almost always try to find a loophole out of nothing to crawl out to - just to satisfy his worrywart tendencies. These tendencies were, as a matter of fact, cute, precious even for a guy like Yifan - and it was one of the warts in Chanyeol's entire being that he eventually grew to love.

Chanyeol was, in a way, organized. An organized chaos rolled up in a bundle. He had plan B's, C's and even D's for everything. It was always reassuring when Chanyeol was part of your group, because you'd definitely feel safe in his capable hands. It was that exact comfort that Yifan was first attracted to. So, really, you couldn't blame him for taking his time wooing and winning the brunette over. Chanyeol was a challenge and his apprehensive trait was a quirky bit of his that tickled Yifan's fluttery heart to his wit's end.

When Chanyeol said 'yes' to his proposal, Yifan thought he had created a miracle; because there was just a 1 in 1,000 chance of Chanyeol ever saying 'yes' to him but he did and he was in heaven - or maybe just in some random cloud up in the sky. Because if there's one thing Yifan had noticed over the months, it was Chanyeol's habit of asking. This wasn't just normal, conversational how-do-you-do's - No - this was serious, double-checking-to-make-sure-everything-is-right questioning. Still, it didn't faze Yifan one bit. He thought Chanyeol was just being picky or moody and it was another thing to poke fun with. Chanyeol didn't seem to mind either. In fact, he'd pout and poke fun at Yifan back, maybe pull in a few nudges and moping around, eventually leading to a few kisses here and there.

But then Yifan decided that he wanted to adopt a kid once they had settled down in a small, cozy apartment they had worked so hard and saved so much to have. Yifan had always wanted a family. It was one of his little dreams he'd had as a kid and he'd really want to have one with Chanyeol. He thought it was the perfect time to have one, with their stable jobs and a wonderful home with wonderful neighbors, he thought they could make it work. So he didn't understand why Chanyeol was so upset, so troubled over it. The very idea of having a mini-person in the home with two guys who had just started getting into this kind of life seemed to scare him to bits. But after talking, arguing, fighting and crying over it for weeks, Yifan was once more relieved to hear Chanyeol say 'yes' to his second wish.

And when he and Chanyeol took one look at the little boy in the orphanage, they both knew they had found him - their perfect little mini-person. When the little boy named Sehun lifted both his hands up and laid them on their hands, Yifan felt his heart fill with happiness. He was happy. He was complete. He turned to Chanyeol, tears b in his eyes as a warm smile coated his lips, cradling the little hand in his own gently and carefully and he knew he was right to have wished for this. And now, it was his turn to grant any wish Chanyeol had. It was his turn to say 'yes' to whatever it was Chanyeol wanted. Because, finally, it was his turn to be Chanyeol's happiness.

But maybe, he wished too soon; because never in his life did he expect to say 'yes', instead, to a receptionist at their local drug store before heading home, handing out a prescription for an extra supply of drugs.

A drug for anxiety.

Valium.

For Chanyeol.

He gripped the little bag with the drug store's label on it tightly as he thought back to when it all began.

It started right as soon as Sehun was part of the family. Chanyeol's incessant worrying doubled and Yifan naturally compared him to a first time mother hen. But when Chanyeol didn't pout or poke fun of him back, Yifan felt it was a little off but didn't think much of it. It was endearing, seeing Chanyeol being a 'mother' to Sehun. He looked really good doing it too.

Yifan noticed another new quirk of Chanyeol's then - alphabetically arranging their and Sehun's things as their little boy began Nursery school. Yifan had asked why he'd go so far with Sehun's stuff, seeing as he was a toddler who'd mess it up in the end anyway, but Chanyeol would brush it off stating, "I'll just fix it again." Yifan thought to lend a helping hand one day but was surprised when Chanyeol tensed, withdrawing to himself as he restlessly arranged everything in a flurry. If Yifan pressed the issue, Chanyeol would get a little irritated, defensive even, so Yifan thought to leave Chanyeol alone to work in peace.

All of these weren't really big issues until a few months back, when Sehun celebrated his fourth birthday - and got sick.

He and Chanyeol had planned for this for weeks, but they didn't expect Sehun to have a 38 degree fever on the day of his birthday. Kids normally get sick, with their little bodies still adjusting to the many viruses out in the open, so it's no surprise that Sehun had caught a cold that early April morning. Yifan was just about ready to care for him but not Chanyeol. His plans had abruptly come to a halt. It had never happened before and it hit him hard like a freight truck speeding on a highway. Chanyeol felt like it was all his fault, that he should've known better because he was the last person to tuck Sehun in last night. He should've known to check the window if it was too open or to ask Sehun why he was sniffing a little. Chanyeol thought he was to blame, despite Yifan's assurance that it wasn't his fault at all, that they'd never have known it would happen. But it was that - that 'not knowing' that set Chanyeol completely off.

And it was as if the dam broke and everything came flooding out.

Now, Chanyeol worries over everything - work, home, money, health, Yifan and Sehun - he takes everything into consideration and most of the times his worries are unrealistic. Now, Chanyeol has trouble falling asleep, constant thoughts of whether Sehun had taken his vitamins or if he had stuffed an extra pack of Kleenex in Yifan's work bag for the next day overtaking the need to rest. Then there were the sticky notes, memos and notepads of lists, numbers, addresses of people they knew, calculations of their bank accounts, scribbles and tallies of their diets stapled to photocopies of nutritional brochures. Yifan was concerned but he didn't know how to handle it and when they did get help, it only caused Chanyeol to spiral further out of control.

At home, Chanyeol always seemed to be doing something around the house and he was always restless. He'd distanced himself from Sehun, leaving him under Yifan's care most of the times because he'd never, ever let his son see him like this. He was ashamed and because of his shame, he'd try to contain himself when Sehun was nearby or when they had guests over, never wanting them to know. It was another one of his worries. No one other than him and Yifan should know that he had General Anxiety Disorder.

Yifan sighs as he loosens his tie, the bag of Valium in one hand as he takes off his shoes with the other. The house was oddly quiet. Normally, Chanyeol would be pacing around, fussing over things beyond his control, like the weather or his mother-in-law's health who was half-way across the world in Canada. He makes his way into the living room and sees the four year old Sehun scribbling something on a piece of paper silently.

"Hey baobei," Yifan greets, soft and affectionate. He bends down, discreetly hiding the bag of medicines behind his back before reaching over to ruffle the dark brown locks on the tiny head. "What are you doing out here?"

Sehun looks up, innocent and tender eyes staring right back into Yifan's. It almost made Yifan skittish at the thought of how their son was so far away from the chaos in the home. Then, the little boy smiles, "I'm drawing something." He says simply before looking back down onto the paper, yellow crayon held tightly by a tiny hand.

"Is it for school?" Sehun was going to be in Kindergarten soon but the little munchkin was learning so fast, Yifan was beginning to think they'd adopted a child prodigy - or a walking sponge. Yifan kneels down beside the four year old, peeking over his head to see the drawing.

"No, it's not- Ah! No, FanFan! You can't!" Sehun throws the yellow crayon out of his hand and covers his drawing with his entire upper body, considering how small he was. "You can't see! You can't see!"

Yifan chuckles, disbelief in his laughter as his son pleads with his bottom lip out and eyes shimmering helplessly. "All right, all right. You don't have to give me that look." He says, retreating with his hands in the air in surrender. Sehun gives one last hard stare at his papa, making sure he had learned his lesson before withdrawing his arms, hands searching for the yellow crayon.

The elder chuckles, ruffling his son's hair once more before he looks around the empty space before them. "Sehunnie," He coos earning him a soft hum in response. "Where's ChanChan?"

Sehun's hand freezes and he looks up to the elder, eyes losing their warmth a little. "ChanChan is in your room." He pauses, biting his plump bottom lip. "He said I can't come inside."

Yifan fixes his expression before he loses control of it. The last thing he wants is for Sehun to be suspicious, to have an inkling of what Chanyeol was really going through. Chanyeol would literally kill him if that were to happen. He gives a small smile, patting Sehun's head. "Okay, I'll go and check on ChanChan for you-"

"... FanFan?" Sehun coos, little fingers wrapping around Yifan's thumb. "Did I do something wrong?"

Yifan blinks, taken aback. "Wh-What do you mean, Sehunnie?"

Sehun frowns and no, Yifan didn't want his son to feel upset over this. This was adult stuff. Sehun shouldn't be dwelling over these matters. The little boy murmurs hesitantly, "Um, you see... Earlier, I wanted to get some cookies - the ones ChanChan made the other day because they're really, really good; they're good right, FanFan?"

Yifan smiles, "Yeah, they really are." He says, his free hand carding through his son's hair gently. Sehun nods as soon as he got Yifan's approval.

"Yeah, so I wanted to get some again but ChanChan was busy so I thought I could get them myself. I learned how to put food on a plate in school so I thought I could do it." Sehun grips at Yifan's thumb tightly as he continues, "But right when I was about to grab the jar, ChanChan yelled at me."

The elder furrows his brows. Chanyeol may be edgy and irritable because of his disorder but he'd never shout at Sehun. The thought that he did slightly disturbed him. "What did he say, Sehunnie?"

Sehun looks back at Yifan, frowning. "He told me to stay away from the kitchen, that it was d-dangerous. I told him I only wanted to eat his cookies again but ChanChan said to go back to my room." His little fingers tugs at Yifan's thumb carefully, "I got in my room but I wanted to say sorry to ChanChan, because seonsaeng-nim at school said to always say sorry if you fight with someone, so... so I wanted to do that but he was already in his room."

Yifan silently sighs before leaning forward, pressing a light kiss over his son's forehead. "You did good, Sehun. It was good of you to want to apologize to ChanChan. Don't worry, it'll be all right. I'll go talk to him for you, okay?"

Sehun stays silent and still for a couple of seconds before he gives a small smile back at the elder and it makes Yifan lose the tension in his body, "Really?"

"Really, really." Yifan nods again, grinning. "Then, you can talk to ChanChan again."

"Yeah!" Sehun grins back before releasing Yifan's thumb and resuming his coloring. He begins to hum a little tune as he did so, excited at the idea that he can reconcile with his dad. Yifan gives him one last kiss onto his temple, earning him a little giggle, before he gets up and heads for his shared bedroom with Chanyeol, hand carrying the bag of Valium secretly.

He takes a quiet, long breath in before knocking on their door gently. As expected, there was no response, so he reaches over the doorknob and slowly peers inside. Their room was dark but the chaos was evident. Yifan steps inside, closing the door behind him as he scans their room - their room which had been turned inside out like a hurricane had passed through it.

In one corner lay a bundle of newspapers with sharp objects like glass figurines, Yifan's swiss army knife, scissors and razors. In the middle of the room were the bedsheets, their bed had been stripped off of any covering. All over the room were the notepads and memos Chanyeol had collected overtime, this time with new details on them. Yifan's eyes adjusted to the darkness to see words like, 'buy gauze', 'Betadine', 'remove all glass'. From beyond the colorful array of sticky notes and ripped out notepads was his husband.

Chanyeol was running through his and Yifan's bags, frantically searching for something while murmuring incoherent words Yifan couldn't catch no matter how hard he tried to listen. Yifan places the bag of Valium on their side table, which had also been deprived of its own materials that were now littered somewhere on the floor, before making his way to his husband.

"Hey, Canlie." He says slowly and gently.

Chanyeol was still fumbling through the bags but he releases a sigh of desperation upon hearing Yifan. "Don't."

"Canlie-" Yifan makes to reach to his shoulder but then his husband turns around, throwing the bags aside. Yifan withdraws his hand as the light from their thin curtains shines over Chanyeol's tear-stained face. "Oh, Canlie..." He murmurs softly.

"Y-You weren't here when it happened." Chanyeol stands up, hands wrapping around himself as if the room was a hundred degrees below freezing point. His entire body was trembling and he can't do anything to stop it. "You weren't here, Yifan. Sehun, h-he tried to reach for the jar and-and I just saw him. I didn't know what to do."

"..." Yifan didn't say anything. If there's anything he'd learned over the many episodes he'd seen Chanyeol go through, it's that it was better to listen than to argue. He breathes out a sigh of relief when Chanyeol looks him in the eye and he returns it, smiling reassuringly at him.

"No!" Chanyeol nearly shrieks but pulls back, instinctively knowing what Yifan was about to say even if he hadn't said it. His hands were shaking uncontrollably as he grips at his arms, eyes frantically searching about the room - anywhere but Yifan. "No, Yifan, you don't understand. It was a glass jar - a glass jar! What if... What if he let go of it? What if it broke and a shard cut him? What if he started to bleed nonstop? What if he lost too much blood that he fainted and I couldn't wake him up? What if he- No. No. We can't let that happen, Yifan, we have to get rid of all the sharp objects around here. We have to just stick to plastic knives or forks or... something! It's just- I-I can't- I can't do it- What if Sehun gets hurt, Yifan? Just, what if?"

Yifan silently takes a deep breath in and takes a cautious step forward. Chanyeol nervously stiffens in his place as he did so but he makes no other move telling him to stop. Yifan smiles, reaching over to gingerly hold his arms. With a light squeeze, he leans closer but Chanyeol was not re