So. In recent news of Jonghyun’s passing. I was speechless. Even until now a small part of me refuse to believe that this had happened. I feel like I should let it out and write the back story of how I wrote this story and how it came to be.

In this story, it mentioned the letter fictional Suho wrote. To be very honest. I started publishing fics during that time of my life because it was a very dark moment. I’ve been going in and out of the hospital for my health and at the same time 3 of my family members died. I haven’t even counted in my extended family. My dad had a near death experience. The thought of me losing him was so scary. I decided to try to get better. I can’t say that I am better now but I feel that I sort of have improved. 

The letter Suho wrote was a slightly modified letter that I wrote at that point in time. The way he died, was an attempt I did. The fic was me putting my emotions into it to try to try to lock that dark part away. 

Hearing Shinee Jonghyun’s passing broke me down so much. Shinee was the first group I discovered and heard in 2009/2010. The first group I became a fan of. Jonghyun’s solo songs were the best. Even though I am an ExoL, I’ve always told my friends that his album deserves an award. All his albums were so so perfect. 

I am still getting through the fact that he has passed on. He did so so well. A part of me feels happy for him. Happy that he finally gets to rest. I am so thankful for his music and how he was such an amazing human. 

I will carry on in improving myself, let’s meet again when the time comes. I love you so much for who you are. You did so well. Have a well deserved break. Heaven just gained another angel.