Sehun hates his doctor's appointments. He doesn't need a doctor to console him, tell him everything is okay when it most obviously is not. Sehun has cancer. It's as simple as that. He finds it laughable that his mother is yet to come to terms with it when he has long ago done so.

He gazes out of the window peacefully, watching a fine layer of snow settle on his windowsill outside.

"Sehun? Are you listening to me? I know it's a lot to take in, but I need you to be strong."

He snaps out of his trance, giving his doctor a reproachful look for disturbing his thoughts before turning to his mother.

"What did she say?"

His mother takes his hand, squeezing it.

"She said that it's not going great…”

Sehun sighs.

"Tell me what she said, mom. Properly."

His mother nods.

"She said that it's not working. The treatment isn't working as well as we hoped."

He hums in thought..

"Okay, then."

His voice is indifferent and expressionless, not because he wants to seem strong for his mother, but simply because he is indifferent. Of course the treatment didn't work. If it did, something would have happened. They tried it, no difference. That would usually indicate that it didn't work.

His mother mistakes his indifference for a shield to keep him strong. She squeezes his hand again.

"It's okay, honey, we'll find another way,"

He shrugs.

"Sure we will. We'll find the cure for cancer and I won't have to get my leg cut off and everything will be better and we'll go live in a land of unicorns and rainbows."

His mother gives him a patronising look.

"Don't think like that, Sehun, it'll be fine."

He raises an eyebrow. He just wants her to come to terms with reality and accept that her seventeen-year old son has a cancerous tumour in his leg, and the more she puts it off, the more she hurts both him and herself.

"Will it, mum? Will it really?"

She nods, her lip quivering.

"Of course it will. We'll get through, we always do."

Something inside Sehun snaps and he slams his hands down on the table, pushing himself to his feet.

"No, mum, we won't. It won't get better because you refuse to get your head out of the clouds and accept that I can't dance or run anymore, because I will need to have my leg cut off if I want to live. We won't get through like we always do, because I didn't always have cancer in my leg. Why can't you just stop lying to yourself and saying I'll get better? It's hurting both me and you, and it's obvious that it won't get better, not today, not tomorrow, not ever."

His mother's eyes are sparkling with tears, and the doctor wears an expression of sombreness, as if he understands how Sehun feels. It makes the boy angry, because he doesn’t understand. No one understands how Sehun feels. Unable to stand it any longer, he storms out of the room. The growing throb in his leg only serves to remind him of his point and he yells in frustration, collapsing on a park bench in the garden outside. He screams until his voice goes hoarse; curses, cries, unintelligible screeches, whatever comes to his mouth. He lets out all the frustration he'd been holding in the past few months. People skirt around him, giving him fearful or cautious looks, and he ignores them, burying his head in his hands.

He sits for a few moments, not moving, and then he feels a hand on his shoulder. He goes to brush it off, assuming it's his mother, or the doctor, here to tell him for the umpteenth time that everything will be okay, but halts himself at the sight of a pair of bright doe-eyes.

"Would you like it?"

He focuses his vision to see that the doe-eyes belong to a beautiful boy who currently holds a cup of bubble tea out to him. Sehun stares. He stares at the boy, then at the bubble tea, then the boy again. The boy impatiently shakes the cup in his face. "Do you want it or not?"

Sehun takes it out of sheer surprise, not sure what to say to this odd boy. The boy doesn't wait for him to say anything, though.

"Bubble tea always makes me feel better when I'm not happy. You look like you need some. You came out of the hospital. You're sick, aren't you? Did you break your leg or something? You were limping. My friend broke his leg once, but it's better now. Will yours get better?"

Sehun stares numbly at the boy for a second, before realising that he’s supposed to answer.

"Uh, no, I don't think it'll get better this time. I have a cancer tumour in my leg..."

The boy stares at him, blinking for a few moments before breaking out into a grin.

"Well, that explains why you were upset. Wanna hear a quote I like? It’s French. ‘Quand on n'a pas ce que l’on aime, on faut aimer ce que l’on a’.”

Sehun almost smiles.

"What does that mean?"

The boy hums.

"When one doesn’t have the things that one loves, one must love what one has. Look on the bright side, you have a free pass out of PE for like, the rest of school. That'd be nice."

Sehun decides he likes this particular boy. There’s something about his matter-of-fact tone, lacking any sympathy whatsoever, the way he doesn't even bother comforting Sehun. It’s like a breath of fresh air. "I'm Luhan." The boy sticks his hand out, and after a moment's hesitation, the taller takes it. "I'm Sehun." They smile at each other, and Sehun thinks that he might have just found a friend, one that doesn't look at him with pity or sympathy in their eyes. One that treats him like a normal person. Because that's what he is. A normal person. The cancer’s in his leg, not his heart.

They talk for a while, and Sehun learns that Luhan is 2 years older than him (much to his surprise); likes rubik's cubes, loves singing, and adores bubble tea, just like him.

"My mother is dying." Luhan says matter-of-factly. "She's been dying for a while now." Sehun just nods, knowing from experience that pity won't help.

"That's too bad."

Luhan nods.

They sit and chat comfortably for a while, both of them having taken an instant liking to each other.

In the midst of a particularly pointless but enjoyable conversation about their favourite bubble tea flavours, Sehun's phone rings. It's his mother, and he knows he can't put it off any longer, so he answers.

"Hello?"

His mother's voice is forcedly calm, with a hint of hysteria behind it.

"Hey mom."

"Oh my god, Sehun, are you okay? I wanted to go after you straight away, but your doctor told me to give you some time. Honey, where are you?"

Sehun internally thanks his doctor for doing something right for once, and after a moment's hesitation, reluctantly tells her that he's in the park.

Precisely one and half minutes later, his mother comes rushing out of the building towards him with tear-stained cheeks.

"Oh, you poor baby, why didn't you say anything? We never knew that was what you thought! Honey, it'll be fine, don't think like that."

Luhan watches in slight amusement as Sehun is smothered by his mother with hugs and kisses. After a few minutes, she notices Luhan, and turns to him with a smile.

"Oh, hello, honey, are you one of Sehun's friends?"

Luhan smiles politely and nods, bowing.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Oh. I'm Luhan."

The younger fakes a gag behind his mother's back and Luhan struggles to keep a straight face.

Sehun's mother, on the other hand, takes no notice and coos loudly.

"Oh, so polite! Why can't you be such a gentleman, Sehun?"

Luhan just smiles modestly whileher son gives her a scandalised expression that she proceeds to ignore.

"So how did you two meet?"

Luhan chuckles softly.

"We actually only met less than an hour ago, madam, but I feel like we're old friends."

He gives her a million-dollar smile, and Sehun can physically see his mother melting under Luhan's charm.

"So, Luhan, tell me about yourself."

Luhan just laughs shyly.

"Ah, there's not much to say, Mrs Oh. I'm currently in my second year of Seoul University, with an interest in artst and French. That's about it..."

Sehun's mother smiles.

"Oh, music? Sehun has an interest in the arts, too! What type of arts in particular?"

Luhan looks surprised at this new piece of information, and gives a curious look to the other boy before turning back to Mrs Oh. "Well, I mostly have an interest in dancing and singing."

Mrs Oh gasps with delight and Sehun wonders why Luhan never hold him he likes to dance.

"Oh, that's wonderful! Sehun is quite the dancer, you know, he's won lots of competitions! A big passion of his!"

Luhan looks amazed at this information and Mrs Oh turns to Sehun with indignance.

"You didn't tell him?"

He shakes his head, a blush creeping across his cheeks.

"There was no reason to..."

Both Luhan and Mrs Oh make sounds of dismissal at this, and Mrs Oh takes it upon herself to inform Luhan of every detail of Sehun's life. Luhan listens quietly, occasionally making sounds of awe at particularly impressive achievements, while the youngest sits in quiet embarrassment, waiting for it to end.

After a while, Mrs Oh finally takes the hint and leaves, telling her son to say goodbye to Luhan and meet her in the office later. The second she walks away, Luhan turns on Sehun. "You never told me you danced!"

The latter raises an eyebrow.

"You never told me you danced either."

Luhan frowns. "That's different. You know enough about me. I don't know a thing about you!"

Sehun hums.

"What's my name?"

"...Oh Sehun."

"How old am I?"

"Sehun, that's not what I m-"

"How old am I?"

Luhan sighs.

"Seventeen."

"What's my favourite drink?"

"Bubble tea..."

Sehun snaps his fingers.

"Three things right there. Happy?"

Luhan sighs in exasperation.

"That's not what I meant."

Sehun shrugs.

"Well now we both know. Can I have your number?"

Luhan frowns.

"Sehun, that's no- wait, what?"

"Your number. Phone number. Can I have it?"

A red flush settles itself across Luhan's cheeks.

"O-okay."

He accepts Sehun's phone and keys his number in before tossing it back.

Sehun takes it with a nod of thanks.

"Well, she's waiting, I gotta go. Thanks for everything, maybe we could meet again sometime?"

Luhan nods with a smile, and Sehun grins at him.

It's then that Luhan realises how good-looking Sehun is, and is shocked with himself for not noticing earlier. "Uh, sure, bye."

Sehun waves at him before walking off, and yet another thing strikes Luhan. It's shockingly obvious that Sehun is a dancer. Even with his slight limp in one leg, he still possesses that grace while moving that only dancers have.

Luhan congratulates himself on making a new friend, and a cute one at that. It's been awhile since he talked to someone who understood him as much as Sehun.

"À bientôt, Oh Sehun,"

He mutters to himself, with a smile on his face as he watches Sehun go.

~

A week passes before Luhan gets a text from Sehun, asking if he wants to get some bubble tea on the weekend.

Luhan accepts eagerly, and soon he finds himself sitting in a bubble tea shop with Sehun, laughing like old friends. Their meetings become regular, with increasingly shorter intervals.

Sehun always asks Luhan to sing for him, but Luhan refuses.

"I'm not good, I don't want to..."

And he promptly changes the subject, no matter how much Sehun begs.

"Please, if you're majoring in music, you must be pretty damn good."

Luhan shakes his head.

"If you like singing so much, then you sing for me."

Sehun shakes his head frantically.

"No, I've got my.... you know..."

Luhan frowns.

"Your what?"

"...You know, my lisp."

They've become so familiar with each other that Luhan's become accustomed to the little lisp that Sehun has. He notices it now, how from Sehun's mouth, the word sounds like 'lithp'. Luhan shrugs.

"Doesn't matter. Sing for me."

Sehun shakes his head.

"No, it's embarrassing."

Luhan pouts.

"Come on, it's cute."

An awkward silence ensues, where a light blush spreads across Sehun's cheeks.

"You think?"

Luhan nods shyly, and Sehun smiles.

"Thanks. But flattery won't work. I'm not singing for you."

Luhan scowls.

"Fine. Well I'm not singing for you, then."

Sehun chuckles at the childish behaviour, and they soon both end up laughing.

A month later, Sehun is called to the doctor's again, and they tell him his chance is getting slimmer. He needs to stop exerting himself if he wants a chance to get better.

He sits in the office, not the least bit bothered, as it wasn't much of a blow. He'd been expecting it for a while. It's just like the last visit all over again.

He doesn’t return home until late after sunset.

~

Every time Sehun meets Luhan, he learns little things about him. One day, when they're sitting in a café, and Luhan imitates something Sehun had said earlier, Sehun notices the little lilt in Luhan's accent, ever so slight. When he first notices it, he has to listen to Luhan speak again to notice if it's really there. It makes his voice sound musical and soft.

Another day, Luhan invites Sehun over to his house for the first time, and it's surprisingly empty, with Luhan's mother in hospital.

Sehun asks what happened to Luhan's father, and Luhan gives him a sad smile and tells him that his father is just at work a lot, and doesn’t have time to be home.

~

When he invites Luhan over to his house, one time he goes into the bathroom and walks out a moment later to find Luhan fiddling with an old rubik's cube that Sehun has long given up on. Luhan doesn't notice Sehun come in, and Sehun just stands, watching in admiration as the rubik's cube is solved within a few moments. Sehun lets out a little noise of awe, and Luhan jumps in surprise before putting back the cube and apologising. For what, Sehun doesn't know. When asked about it, Luhan simply says he had a lot of spare time when he had been staying with his mother in hospital.

Two days later, Sehun is once again called to his doctor's office. The warning is more stern this time, and they say it's virtually necessary for the surgery to take place if Sehun wants to live happily. Sehun couldn't care less. What their definition of 'happy' is, Sehun doesn't know. In his opinion, he's long passed the stage where it's possible for him to be 'happy'.

That night, he goes out, and doesn’t come back till morning.

His mother yells at him, screeching and cursing at his emotionless state.

‘Where have you been all day?’ she screams, a sob cracking her voice.

‘Why don’t you tell me anything anymore?’.

Faced with his silence, she retreats back to her room, body racking with sobs.

~

Sunday 16, 13:14

From OhSehunnn: luhan

From: Luluhan90: yea 

From Osehunnn: im bored

From Luluhan90: k

From OhSehunnn: luhannn

From OhSehunnn: luuuu

From OhSehunnn: luhan hyunggg

From OhSehunnn: ;-;

From OhSehunnn: ;-;;;

From OhSehunnn: h

From OhSehunnn: y

From OhSehunnn: u

From OhSehunnn: n

From Luluhan90: what

From OhSehunnn: g

From OhSehunnn: hYUNG YOURE STILL HERE ??//??/?

From Luluhan90: .

From Luluhan90: i know what you want rn

From OhSehunnn: you do?

From Luluhan90: you want me to come over

From Luluhan90: dont even try to hide it

From OhSehunnn: oMG HYUNG ARE YOU COMING OVER?? :D

From Luluhan90: .

From Luluhan90: ...

From Luluhan90: ...Yes. And stop calling me hyung i feel old.

From OhSehunnn: OMG YAYYYY HYUNGS COMING OVER＼(*T▽T*)／ﾜｰｲ♪

From Luluhan90: t'es con

From OhSehunnn: ???

From Luluhan90: nvm im on my way

~

Sehun and Luhan grow inseparable over the months, with only having each other to be able to rely on, and trust to be understanding. Sehun loves being at Luhan's house. It's calming, and the boys can be themselves, with no one to chastise or fuss over them. One day, as Sehun and Luhan settle on the couch together to watch a movie, Sehun realises that Luhan is probably the only person who really understands him. They watch the movie excitedly, laughing freely at the funny scenes, and even tearing up a bit at the sad ones. They watch another movie after it, and then another. It's soon past midnight, and Sehun begins to feel the sleepiness set in, but doesn't want to leave, for he's happy. He's content, basking in the relaxed joy of having a day with Luhan and no one else, with no restraints. He reluctantly begins to get to his feet. "It's getting late, I should probably go..." As he rises, a small hand clutches his, and he looks down to see Luhan staring at him.

"Stay the night."

Sehun stares back and Luhan blushes as he registers his own words.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to, you know... yeah..."

Sehun chuckles and plops back down next to Luhan, his happiness returning in a rush.

"Thanks for letting me stay."

Luhan smiles in response, and they put on the fourth movie.

Sehun grins when he notices that they're still holding hands, his heart thumping in his chest.

The movie drags on, neither of them acknowledging their tiredness. Around halfway through the movie, a soft weight falls onto Sehun's shoulder, and he bites back a smile when he sees that it's Luhan's head. Luhan has finally fallen asleep, his eyes shut and small breaths fluttering out of his mouth. Suddenly Sehun is not so sleepy. He simply sits quietly, smiling to himself as he watches the movie. Luhan fidgets every few moments, twisting and squirming in his sleep, and Sehun realises that Luhan probably isn't in a comfortable position. Sehun shifts slightly so that Luhan's head is in his lap and Luhan stops squirming, relaxing in his sleep. Sehun runs his fingers through Luhan's silky locks, his attention more focused on Luhan's angelic face than the movie. When the movie finishes, Sehun turns it off and sits for a moment, unsure of how to get up. With some effort, he picks Luhan up bridal-style and shuffles to Luhan's bed, frowning slightly at how light Luhan is. He slowly places Luhan down on the bed and is in the process of pulling the covers up when a sudden screech of some bird outside causes him to jump, losing his footing and fall on top of the bed. Luhan fidgets and Sehun curses, pushing himself off the bed slowly, trying not to wake Luhan. He's finally extricated himself from the covers when Luhan reaches out in his sleep and wraps an arm around Sehun's torso, pulling him down and causing him to lose his balance again and fall in a heap on the bed. Luhan mumbles something unintelligible in his sleep and tugs on Sehun's arm until he rests on top of Sehun, his cheek pressed to Sehun's chest and his arms wrapped around Sehun's abdomen like a koala bear. Heat rushes to Sehun's cheeks and he squeaks, trying to shift out of the awkward position. The more he fidgets, the tighter Luhan's grip gets, and soon his fatigue overcomes him and he gives up, collapsing down onto the bed and letting Luhan use him as a personal teddy bear.

 

Sehun wakes to the sound of a phone ringtone, and groans as he opens his eyes to look for the source of the noise. His eyes widen when he finds himself face-to-face with a sleeping Luhan, who's snuggled up into him with his hands curled up against Sehun's chest. Sehun realises that his hands are on Luhan's waist, and removes them with a blush that deepens when Luhan whines softly in his sleep at the loss of warmth. He chuckles, entranced by the sleeping boy's beauty, and he absent-mindedly begins to Luhan's hair, smiling when Luhan leans into his touch, almost purring in content. The unceasing ringing of the phone snaps Sehun out of his daze and he reluctantly turns to attend it, one hand still running through Luhan's hair. He answers the phone tiredly.

"Hello?"

"Hello, sir, is this Mr. Lu Han speaking?"

The voice is a professional and almost robotic female's voice, and Sehun's brow furrows in confusion.

"Uh, no, I'm a friend... May I know who's speaking?"

"Sir, I am a doctor from Seoul National University Hospital. Is Mr. Lu Han with you at the moment?"

Sehun feels an edge of nervousness.

"Okay, give me a minute, I'll wake him up."

He softly nudges Luhan.

"Luhan? Lu, wake up."

Luhan groans in his sleep, turning away from Sehun.

"Lu. Luhan. LUHAN."

Luhan finally wakes up, rubbing his eyes drowsily with a fist and looking around. Sehun points at the phone.

"It's the hospital,"

Luhan sits up, his eyes alert and slightly panicked as he accepts the phone from Sehun and puts it to his ear.

"Hello?"

There's a muffled talking from the other side of the line, and Luhan's eyes grow wide and fearful. He nods. "Yes, thank you, I'll be there right away."

He turns to Sehun, an apologetic expression on his face.

"I'm really sorry, but there's something they need me for at the hospital, nothing important."

The last phrase hangs in the air, the blatant lie in it not going unnoticed by either of them.

Sehun doesn't argue.

"Do you want me to come?"

Luhan's eyes slightly widen hopefully.

"You would do that for me?"

Sehun smiles reassuringly.

"I'd do anything for you," he mutters, just soft enough for it to go unnoticed by Luhan.

Sehun steps out and hails a taxi, dragging Luhan in with him and directing the driver to the hospital. He takes Luhan's hand and squeezes it reassuringly, and Luhan squeezes back softly. He steps out of the taxi and pays the driver before jogging into the hospital. The woman at the desk directs them to a ward and Sehun sits in the waiting room outside as Luhan rushes in.

There's a silence for a few moments before muffled talking. Sehun sits in silence, waiting for Luhan. He texts his mother in the meantime, explaining where he spent last night, telling her he probably won't be back for a bit longer. After ten minutes or so, the door opens with a slight creak, and Luhan steps out with a small and painstakingly fake smile plastered on his face.

"Yeah, like I said, nothing big, just a small complication..."

He stands there, with a crumpled piece of paper fisted in his hand, refusing to meet Sehun's eyes.

Sehun stares at him for a few moments with an unrecognisable expression, then slowly reaches for the paper, not taking his eyes off Luhan.

"Is it okay for me to read this, Han?"

Luhan doesn't respond, a soft strangled noise escaping from his throat as he lets the paper be tugged from his now loose grip.

Sehun scans the paper briefly, a flicker of pity passing through his eyes.

He looks up at Luhan, who's still standing in front of him, his hands now bunching in the hem of his too-big shirt, and he sighs.

"I'm sorry, Luhan."

Luhans nods, still not daring to meet his gaze.

Sehun clears his throat.

"So, you gonna go through with this surgery?"

"Je ne peux pas, Sehun."

Luhan finally looks at him, letting him see the tears gathering in his eyes.

"I can't. I can't afford it."

He shakes his head, swallowing thickly.

"She's not going to make it."

~

By the time they leave the hospital, it's the early afternoon. Sehun takes Luhan to a bubble tea shop, and buys Luhan his favourite flavour, taro.

Luhan sits there, emotionlessly stirring the drink with his straw and watching the tapioca pearls swirl around.

They sit in silence, and after a while, when they've finished their drinks, they get to their feet and head out.

"So, what do you want to do?"

Sehun asks Luhan. Luhan hesitates before looking at Sehun hopefully.

"Would I be able to come to your house for a bit? I don't want to go to my house for a while,"

Sehun nods, giving him an encouraging smile, and they head to Sehun's house.

They find the house empty, and a note taped to the fridge:

'Gone to see the relatives, call me when you get this.'

Sehun calls his mother, and puts it on speaker.

"Hello?"

"Hey, mum. The phone's on speaker, by the way. Luhan hyung's here."

"Oh, Sehun! I called but you didn't pick up! Hi, Luhan, how are you?"

Luhan clears his throat.

"I'm doing great, thanks, Mrs Oh. How are you?"

She giggles lightly.

"I'm fine, thank you, Luhan."

"You sound as beautiful as ever."

A breathy giggle is heard on the line.