6-27-13
(Donghae POV) 

 

"So that's how it is?" I asked her. 

 

"Yes.." She looked down. 

 

"That's it?"

 

"Yes"

 

"Okay. You may go now." I opened the door for her.

 

"Donghae-ah..." She grabbed my arm. 

 

"What is it now?"

 

"I'm really sorry." 

 

"Just go home." 

 

"I'm not going."

 

"You don't wanna go? Well I'm off." I went out of the room, and she followed me behind. 

 

"Please don't be like this hae!" 

 

"Be like what?"

 

"Don't be cold to me!" 

 

I stopped for a moment. "So you think I didn't change?" I asked.

 

"If you already changed, well I'm still here, waiting for acceptance. Waiting for you."

 

"You don't have to wait anymore." 

 

"Donghae ah.." 

 

"I already accepted your apology." I came closer to her. "But I can't accept you coming back in my life again." I turned away and went down.

 

Everyone's staring at us but I'm just walking straight towards the door. 

"Oppa!" Jessica, in a loud crying voice, still following me. 

 

"Ya, hae!" Siwon, blocking my way. 

 

"I'm going out, siwon." I pushed him out of the way, and Jessica still calling me and crying so loud. 

 

Then Eunhyuk suddenly grabbed my wrist, so I stopped. 

 

"What do you want?" I coldly asked. I turned my head behind and saw, Yoona and Ryeowook, trying to stop Jessica, 

 

"Let him go, hyuk." Leeteuk hyung, and so Eunhyuk took off his hand.

 

I once looked at Jessica and the others, and so I left. 
And went in to my car. 

 

Damn.. I acted like an immature child.. I'm letting Jessica cry like that. I don't want to revenge on her but, I can't stop acting like this.. 
I honestly don't know what to react..  I don't know what to feel, I don't know what to say.. And I don't know what should I do next.. 

 

Should I be happy? Sad? Shocked? Mad? I'm having mixed emotions right now.. 
I don't understand her reasons, what really happened before. 

 

Did it really happen? What kind of man I was in that time? I didn't protect her, and fight the Kris she was talking about...

I'm trying to remember that day, I was beaten up by guys? How could that even possible? Am I really that weak? That noob? 

 

All I can remember is that... I suffered so much pain, I hurt a lot... And my heart still aching... 

With this so much pain I encountered, I feel emotionless. Feels like I'm becoming a damn robot, no heart, no feelings.

 

So i started driving alone, still thinking about it.. but no emotion.. 
I keep on driving around the city the whole day.. and Leeteuk hyung and the others were still calling me on the phone but i'm not answerin'. I'm not really in a mood right now... so i turned off my phone. So i've been in my car and not eatin' any food the whole day.

Should i spend my night at my grandmother's house? i feel so much guilt.. Its already night, i think i need to go home.. i need to say sorry to them.. maybe next time i visit her..

 

But then.. i suddenly stopped my car , and almost hit the guy who stopped in front of my car. I went out and approached him.

 

"Sorry. Are you hurt?" I asked the guy.

 

"Yes.. so much." He answered.

 

"So much? Where? Did i hit you?" I asked again, 

 

"Just kidding, brother. Long time no see." He said, and starting to creep me out. 

 

"Sorry but, have we met before?" 

 

"Yeah. It was long, long time ago brother." 

 

"Long time?" 

 

"Let's eat together, my treat." 

 

"Sorry sir, but i need to rush home." 

 

But he was just glaring at me, and giving me a weird strange smile. 

 

"Its too early to go home, let's have a little talk brother." He said.

 

"Talk about what? I'm sorry but i really need to go." I turned away and he suddenly grabbed my wrist.

 

"Why? Don't you wanna go to my place and have fun?" He said, creepily. 

 

"Excuse me but, do i know you?" I asked him, and smiled a little. 

 

"You know exactly who i am."

 

Honestly, i don't know who he is, I know him?
"Sorry." I grabbed my head, "i can't remember you, Or you're just mistaking" 

 

"Just come with me, i'll just take you home after this." 

 

I removed his hand. "Where are we going?" 

 

"To our favorite place, Donghae." He laughed so weird. 

 

How did he know my name? Favorite place? 
"You may know me, but i don't know who you are." I turned away, "Sorry."

 

I was about to open the car door but then suddenly he pushed me, he grabbed my wrist, pulled out a gun. 

 

"How come you didn't know me? Huh!?" 

 

"Who are you really!?" As he slowly twisting my arms so hard. "Awww. It hurts!" 

 

"How about me? Donghae? So you think i'm not hurtin'!? It hurts so much! It is all because of you!! I really want to kill you and now finally!" He aimed his gun at my face. "You deserve to die!!" 

 

Then someone suddenly smashed the guy's head and he fell down, and it was Sungmin, who hit the guy with a glass bottle. 

 

"Donghae!! Are you alright? Let's go home." He pushed me in the back of car and he sat on the driver's seat and drove off . 

 

"Thanks man. You saved my life." I smiled at him by looking at the mirror, and he smiles back.

 

"So..Where were you supposed to go?"

 

"I was planning to visit my grandmother and spend my night there.. But i think i need to go back.."

 

"What happened anyway? F.O?"

 

"Nah.."

 

"Okay so.. did he say anything to you?" He asked. 

 

"You know him? Wait. How did you know i was there?" 

 

"N.. nope.. just wonderin.. we've been.. looking for you man so i searched around.."

 

"Really...? Okay.. sorry..."

 

"So what did he say?"

 

"He said that we already met a long time ago.. but i can't remember him.." I chuckled.

 

"Then?"

 

"He also said that he's hurt because of me. And the last thing he said, he really want to kill me in the first place..." 

 

"That damn guy." He whispered to himself, and so i heard it.

 

"So you know that guy? Who is he?" I asked Sungmin, and he looks like he's mad and his hands were shaking while he drive.

 

"N..nope.. never met.. that guy.." 

 

"Then why do you look so nervous and mad?" 

 

"Well he... almost killed you! That's why!" He said in a loud voice. 

 

So i stopped talking and just staring at him, he looks strange and weird. 
But yet thanks to him.. I almost got killed.. and now i'm back at being a robot again. I suddenly changed my mood and took off my smiling face...  I feel like i'm already dead, at heart.