A/N: HEY! so this story took an unexpected turn. So, the angle I am dragging it towards is more about Jinki himself, going from seeing them as a loving family unit of boys, to men. This is about Jinki's journey of seeing them how they really are, rather than the boys he debuted with, them teaching him how different they are and how much they have grown as men. I also changed the name of the story, I wasn't happy with the cheesy title but anyway! Go forth and enjoy~ WARNING: Jongkey 

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It must have been about 2:30am when a loud noise shocked me from my sleep, but it wasn’t the noise that kept me awake. Usually I would brush it off and hold it up to just being a noise outside and return to my slumber. But this time, it was followed by a loud whisper. Maybe Jonghyun had returned from his night out, but who was he talking to?

I peer down at the sleeping heap that was Minho, so it obviously wasn’t him, maybe it was kibum? I slip form underneath the covers and carefully walks to my door, opening it up quietly. I peak my head out and squints, the only thing I could see from this angle was the soft light illuminating the doorway of Kibums’ room. I could see the silhouette of both boys, Jonghyuns’ tall insoles bringing him to Kibums’ height, which explained the heavy thudding which woke me in the first place.

“Come on Bummie, please?”  The boy had a firm grip on the front of the divas’ sleeping shirt, but it seemed whatever he was asking for, Kibum was really reluctant to hand it over.
“It’s late, go to sleep…” A harsh whisper fell from Bummies’ lips, his eyes wide as he shies away from the other, “Go shower, you stink of alcohol.” Jonghyun pulled the younger boy closer, blocking the clear line of sight that I had of what was going on. I take a step out of my room, in a complete trance as I sneak a little closer to watch. The boys’ were pressed close together, and Jonghyun was… on Kibums’ ear. My eyes widened and I had to do a double take, what the hell was happening? I was exploding with a thousand questions, but what caught me the most off-guard was the small moan that fell from the divas’ lips. It was new, so new and I felt my body heat up in an unexpected way.

Everyone had always pegged me as the less dubu leader, make jokes and tease, but I had just as much urges as the other boys, small fantasies. I had never been one to mind so much whether it was a male or female that I had fantasies of, it was whatever came to mind. Honestly, I had never thought too much about it, never having time to explore relationships or even question my own urges. But never had I ever had a ual thought about any other of my members, I saw them as off limits, they were off limits.

My heart rate had increased as the soft moan grew louder, ending with a harsh whisper from the older male, his husky voice along with a mix of words I didn’t quite hear, was enough for Kibum to shove him away and earned him a firm slap across the face ended the moment with a door slam in the face. A huffy Jonghyun turned around and despite the darkness, I swear he could see me. My cheeks flush red as I duck back into my room, closing the door with a click before sliding under the covers, my head dizzy with thoughts.

This had to be a crazy dream, or a misconstrued of what I had seen. There was no way that those two were intimate with each other in that way. During concerts, we had the occasional skinship but that was required for our fans, it was always planned and harmless no doubt. I had to be seeing things. I snuggle under the comforter and falls asleep in a dizzy dream of mixed thoughts.

********

The sun peeked through the crack in my blinds, and although I would usually ignore it and go back to sleep, my sleeping companion had other ideas.

“Jinki-ah, let’s go for a run.” I cracked an eye open, sleepily staring up at a wide eyed, bushy tailed Minho. He seemed to have completely forgotten last nights’ events, I on the other hand, was not as over it just yet.
“Go by yourself.” I groaned, rolling over to my other side, looking over at my blinking alarm clock that read it was only 5:06am.
“Jinki you haven’t gone out to exercise at all this week…” the younger protested. Out of all the members, Minho and Kibum were most persistent at making sure we keep up our diets and exercise routine. As Taemin was no longer running buddies with Minho, it seems he was looking towards me as the fill in for it.

Over the years, we stopped exercising together and it all fell into our on pattern of whenever it was the most convenient for us all. It just so happened that Minho loved to go out at a ridiculous hour of the morning. I roll out from my bed involuntarily, letting out an unhappy grunt as I stubble out of my room and headed into the bathroom to clean myself up a bit. The cold air influenced a desperate need to make a dive for the covers and to never emerge again. I flushed my face with warm water from the sink before doing a half assed job of flattening my hair out.

A familiar click of the front door had me step from the cold, tiled room and peep into the hallway to witness Taemin slipping in after his long night out. I didn’t dare speak his name or acknowledge him, I just frowned in concern at his dishevelled appearance. His slight stumble as he slid his shoes off and the way he swayed in his upright position, gripping at the hall table to keep his balance as he rubbed the eyeliner off from under his eyes in the mirror. He was clearly still drunk, and we had rehearsals in less than five hours. I knew he wouldn’t listen to me, but an early riser like Kibum would cluck around like a mother hen and snap everyone into shape, even putting the maknae in line.

“Jinki? Are you ready?” The rapper appeared out of nowhere and interrupted my train of thoughts, making me jump. My head snapped around and the look on my face obviously gave away who it was I was spying on. Mixed emotions flicked over the younger males’ face and I was going to protest, tell him not to say anything at all but I was much too slow.

“Taemin-ah, we have rehearsal today at 10am, did you only just come home?” He brushed past me and walked into the hall to look over the maknae.
“Is fine…” Taemins’ words came out slightly slurred, and that pushed Minho from being worried to angry.
“You came home drunk? What the Taemin?” His eyes traced over the Youngers’ appearance in obvious distaste.
“I said it’s fine, Minho.” The boy addresses him casually, pushing past him to stumble into the shared living room. I take a small step back, watching the scene unfold in front of my eyes. Minho grabs at Taemins’ wrist, catching him before he walks too far away; “We shouldn’t have to treat you like a child, you know our schedule, why would you go to a party and then stumble home at 5am. You could have been hurt, or worse, our manager could have seen you.”

The moment the words fall from the rappers’ lips, Taemin stepped forward and shoved him back roughly, surprising all of us.

“God, Minho, I just need some coffee. I can ing look after myself!” His loud reply was enough to drag a very disturbed, and obviously still sleepy Kibum from the depths.
“The is all this noise for?” The diva hissed, looking around at all of us, a glower on his features. He gave us all individual venomous looks before he stopped, observing Taemin with intrigue and that’s when he snapped awake fully.

“It is 5:30 am, what is your issue?” He growled at the two youngest boys, “Taemin, did you just get home? Go take a shower!”
“Kibum, Back off…” Taemins’ words slightly slur, and with that Kibum went into full rage.
“LEE TAEMIN! YOU GO SHOWER, NOW! ING DRUNK, YOU ARE SUCH A CHILD!” Kibum snatches the makaes arm and drags him down the hall, both of them bickering all the way to the bathroom.

I stand there, completely stunned for a few minutes. As I come back to my senses, I blink and turn to look at Minho but he was already out the door, cutting off what I was going to say with a firm click of the door. Although I really wasn’t up for a run, I wanted to spend time with him and try to push down some of the barrier he had built up, and this would have been the perfect opportunity.

There was a loud thump and some more yelling between the two boys before I heard a shower turn on and it go dead silent.

“Fantastic…” I mumble to myself, running my fingers through my knotted hair before I make my way back to the kitchen to grab some breakfast, and piece of toast and tea. It was usually frowned upon to eat before practice but I couldn’t help myself. I lean against the counter, sipping at my tea, going through the morning schedule. I ate as fast as I could, hoping to avoid the members in an attempt to hold together my sanity before practice.

I finish off my toast and was about to slip from the kitchen when a hall soaked Kibum stepped in through the doorway with a scowl on his features, I was beyond tempted to drop my tea cup and run from the room.  

“Jinki-ah, relax.” He says soothingly, moving closer to me and runs his hand gently over my arm before leaning on the opposing counter. Nervous, I just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, “I am sorry I woke you.”

The diva raised his eyebrow and the realisation of what I said dawned on me, and I felt my cheeks start to heat at my stupid comment.
“It wasn’t you, it was those two es.” He sighs softly, “Why do they take pleasure in going off at each other so early, they couldn’t have their spat later?” His voice came out as a gentle whine, straightening up his oversized bed shirt before shuffling over to put the kettle on to boil.
“Don’t you think we should discuss this as a family-“ I begin to ask quietly before I am cut off.
“Jinki, what are you drinking?” He questions, leaning closer to peer into my tea cup.
“it’s just peppermint tea.” I reply before the cup in snatched from my hands, earning myself a scolding as it’s poured down the sink.

“You will fall asleep, I will make you some green tea. You haven’t been eating properly!” He places my tea cup down and moves to stand in front of me, brushing his thumbs under my eyes, “it will bring down the puffiness.” I nod obediently, earning a slight smile from the other as he turns back to finish off our tea.

“The answer to your question before,” He replies, his voice low and serious as he pours out the fresh tea into two mugs, “we haven’t been a family for the longest time. We are simply just colleagues.” He says with a gentle hum, passing me my cup. My heart deflates and my previous small smile fades away like it had never existed to begin with. Is this really how all the members felt, that this was honestly all just a contract at the end of the day? Sure we had, had our disagreements from time to time, but I never thought it was bad enough to say our happy family had completely disappeared.

“We understand it was just something you told us when we were younger to bring us closer, but we don’t need it anymore. We are all grown up.” Kibum waves the topic off completely as I start to feel numb. Over the years, had I kept up this illusion that they were happy as a family? I felt so unsure, my stomach tight. His eyes suddenly narrowed, but his line of vision was no longer at me. I look behind me and a cranky, yet hesitant Jonghyun stood in the doorway.

“Morning…” He mumbles out, staying planted in his spot and looks guilty as anything. I look between the angry diva and shrinking vocalist, deciding it’s just best to go, the events from last night that I thought I had witnessed was enough to draw the blush back onto my cheeks.  I slowly move off the counter, inching my way towards the doorway when Kibum speaks; “Lee Jinki don’t you move.” He growls, making me freeze in my spot, despite Jonghyuns’ hardening gaze towards me.
“Yeah, it’s fine, I was leaving anyway… I assume.” Jonghyun gives Kibum an unreadable expression before walking away.

“Kibum, what was that about?” I ask quietly, peering in his direction.
“Nothing, he is just being an .” Kibum moves away and begins to clean up the inside of the fridge. I wanted to ask about last night, but honestly, I wouldn’t even know how I would go about asking, it would probably come out terribly. I just let out a long sigh and decides to let it slide for now. I had probably just imagined the whole thing, although that moan had felt so real.