A/N: I.. changed the title again. I couldn't help myself. I have a feeling I am going to be doing that alot. haha but as the story has started to find its shape, I have been writing furiously. I have already written the next chapter, now I must just tediously type. LOL. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter, Thank you for all those who have subscribed, and a special thank you to those who commented! Your support means alot and it inspires me to continue <3 

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Hours later, we were piling into the managers’ van; Taemin and I in the back, because no one wanted to sit next to the hungover maknae who had his earphones in, blasting Korean rap and shooting everyone dirty looks. At least with Taemin he was silently brooding, unlike the three boys in the seat in front of us. Minho was the biggest pain, he was nit-picking at everyone, and with the sharp, few words between Kibum and Jonghyun, the car ride was so intense. The air was thick with tension and each member was radiating pure heat and I was so tired of it. We were about to go practice together for ten or so hours, and I wasn’t going to put up with this behaviour anymore. It was very rare I got angry and scolded my youngers’, but this was needed. I sit up properly, calling out to the manager; “Manager-ssi, can you pull over for a moment? “ My authorative voice left no room for questions.

“Jinki-ah, we are going to be late.” Kibum turned in his car seat to look at me, but I replied with a firm shake of my head.

As the van pulled onto the side of the road, the manager slid out without another word, Taemin sitting up and tugging his ear phones out; “Why are we stopping?” He asks, acknowledging all of us for the first time this morning.

“You all need to snap out of this now, we are about to go practice all day and I am not doing it with Taemin snapping at everyone, Minho pouting and you two,” I point to the diva and the vocalist, “who are angry at each other for whatever reason. Sort it now, quietly.” I sigh, staring at all of them as they avoid eye contact with each other.

“Do I have to do what I did during our debut days?” I threaten, sitting up a little straighter in my seat, each of them growling and mumbling indescrepencies under their breath as they shuffle around, sitting near the person they were irritated at.

At least if they talk about their most recent, surface problems, it would put a band aid over their -hurt attitude. I could do my best to dig deeper and find out the reason for their deeper problems later.

My eyes settle on Jonghyun and Kibum; they were huddled so close together, their fight from this morning was obviously forgotten after an exaggerated apology from the elder boy. I never realised how touchy they were with each other, was I only noticing this now because of last night? They are only children. I tell myself as I peer over the back of the seat and watches as Jonghyuns’ hand grazes over Kibums’ thigh. I felt slightly dizzy and confused, my cheeks heating up as the words fall from my mouth, speaking louder than I really needed to.

“I saw you two last night.” The whole van became dead silent, my blush travelling to my ears as Taemin and Minho’s eyes flick over and watch me with curiosity, Kibums’ eyes widen sightly and Jonghyun looked flat out confused. A smirk suddenly creeps up on Taemins face; “What were you two doing?”

Kibum greets his question with a deadly glare, What the hell was happening?

“Jinki, we can talk about this later.” The diva brushes over the topic, not even giving me space to protest, the air becoming thick again, but rather with silent loathing, this seemed to be guilt.

“Tell me now.” I insist, Minho leaning closer to Taemin, whispering something in his ear, this was the only kind of interaction I had seen between the two in weeks. The younger covered his mouth and laughs, nodding to whatever Minho had said to him. I feel so left out. Did they even know what I was referring too? It seemed they knew exactly what I was speaking about.

“Later.” Kibum replied, scooting so far away from Jonghyun, almost like he was suddenly repulsive. I had so many questions, but as Minho moved to sit back between the JongKey duo, I simply directed my gaze back out the window, the manager climbing back in to start the car back up.

I feel a gentle hand brush over my forearm, my head snapping around to look at Taemin, who seemed to have forgotten his hangover, his eyes locking with mine.

“Jinki, you have to stop treating us like children.” He speaks quietly so none of the other members hear us. My heart clenches, by keeping them all close and making them get along, is that what I was doing?

I let my eyes run over the younger boys face, I felt like I was searching for answers, but I couldn’t find anything. When did he start wearing make-up to dance practices? When did my baby grow up and leave me behind? Although his gaze drifted from mine, I couldn’t help being left with a feeling of aching. Is this what happened to my family? I had raised and trained them through their teenage years and now I was left with nothing but memories. They had turned into men. Men who no longer needed guidance, a teacher or a leader. Just, a band mate, a colleague.

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It was going to be so hard for me to switch roles. I had been their protector for so long, I was so caught up in the thought that our perfect family was falling apart, but as I run my eyes over each member, I realise I was not the only one still stuck in past habits. Kibum still fussed relentlessly over each of us, and Minho was probably the most caught up in seeing only a baby in the maknae. He fluttered around the younger, waiting to be needed by him in any way. It was only during the dance practiced that I realised I was just like Minho, I had been treating him like he was our little, precious maknae. But watching the fluid way he danced, he wasn’t the awkward boy we met in our debut day, he was an artist. His body moved so fluidly, it was beautiful to watch.

Although his deviance was a childish attempt to get us to see him as an adult, I could see why he was pushing so hard. I drag my eyes away, hoping he hadn’t noticed me staring at him from my spot on the floor. Minho was beside me on the training bench, pouting and watching the younger from afar, Jonghyun and Key were stretched on the floor a few feet from us, enjoying the coolness of the dance floor. Taemin was across the room, nattering away to his friends on the phone. For someone who was so desperate to be recognised as an adult, he sure looked the part of the bratty teenager. His once beautiful, blond hair was destroyed with thick, black regrowth, his nails painted with peeling black polish, and his jeans were torn at the knees. The appearance of a rebellious teen. The fans had seen the change before we did, they were talking about when Taemin released his first solo album, he was so grown up, but we hadn’t seen it. We refused to believe that he had changed, to us, he was always the same boy. It was so easy to deny what was in front of us when we didn’t want it to be true.

It was easy to deny something that was right in front of us, when we wished it not to be true. Over time, he had pulled away from us, he stopped having dinner with the group, he lied to us without empathy, he wouldn’t turn up to group activities and he was so distant. The closer we pulled him, the further he pulled away.

My eyes flick to Minho, he was hunched over in his seat, looking so helpless and lost, he was the closest to Taemin of all of us, when when the maknae stopped being around so much, he became distant as well. Kibum put it down to simply being pouty but the hurt look on his face was so much deeper. Before I even attempted to help the puzzle that was Taemin, Minho had to be the one I talk to first.

I stretch my legs out, looking over at our rapper, “Minho-ah, would you like to go grab something to eat?” I ask quietly, it was a feeble attempt, knowing food would be the easiest way to start a conversation with the younger. He didn’t look at me, he instead just replied with a blunt no. I sit quietly, looking over the boys’ appearance; he was fidgeting endlessly, his fingers tugging on the bottom of his work out shirt and his foot tapping against the ground.

“Hyung, did you say food?” Jonghyun looks up at me from the floor, intrigued at the idea of some hearty food after a long day.”
“Yeah,” I nod in response, the two members on the floor nodding, silently telling me they are going to be joining.
“Taemin-ah!” Jonghyun yells across the room to the maknae, Taemin shooting him a filthy look in return, “We are going out for food, do you want to come?” The boy curtly shook his head, returning to his phone call.
“Aish, that punk.” Jonghyun pouts slightly, looking over at Kibum, “You are coming with us.” He tells the boy bluntly, leaving no room for him to argue. The diva gives him a blank, ‘are you serious?’ look before rolling his feline eyes.
“I was going to go shopping with Amber, but fine. You both owe me a shopping trip.” He climbs to his feet, nudging Jonghyun with the top of his shoe before disappearing to the locker room to get dressed. The younger boy on the floor keeps his gaze on the locker room door, before he turns to give me a sheepish smile.

“Jinki-ah, about last night…” He starts off, dragging his shoe over the squeaky floor. I sat up a little straighter, praying for an explanation about what I had seen but I became disheartened as he continued; “I am sorry for going off at you about the belt, Taemin just pushed all the wrong buttons.” I dismissed his apology with the wave of my hand, I had long forgotten about it anyway. I sit quietly as I try to think of a way to bring up the other topic.

“I will see you all at home.” A deep growl rips from Minhos’ lips, shooting out of the dance studio. It hurt to see him so angry, but at the moment, he had two extremes. Happy or Mad, there was no in between.

“Our Minho is so frustrated.” Jonghyun nods but doesn’t follow up with any further remarks as Kibum emerges from the locker, the divas eyes flicking to Jonghyuns’, and they shared a look as if they were communicating silently.