‘In my life, I love you more.’

Less than an hour ago, you whispered that to me. It’s a part of lyrics from our favorite song, right?

We both know what it means, but it doesn’t change the fact that we have to deal from now on.

I took a walk at the beach by myself; as you probably on your way to the airport right now. Walking barefoot with the black formal suit in my hand, I can feel the sand touched my skin. I can taste the saltiness in the air as the wind breezed welcome me to this loneliness.

The pang of devastation still there and the fresh wound is still open.
I might swim into the endless sea of jealousy.

It hurts so much I cannot believe this is really happening I just try to close my eyes and take a breath.
But no matter how hard, no matter how sad, I realized as I open my eyes,
The fact wouldn’t change. Not for me, and not for you.

Life is too short, they said, to be live in regret.
We used to laugh under the starless night, holding each other’s hand and looking at the darkness in front of us, hoping that there’s a star coming out for us. Even just one.
But no, there isn’t.
It’s like even the universe wants to tell us that we are not meant to be.

Life is just once, they said, to be spend with the wrong one.
We used to think, how do we know that the person is the wrong or the right one?
The answer is just that we will know when we feel is right.
But the question is what if that person is not for you to keep?
Will he or she become the wrong one?

You always wakes me up with a kiss, saying that the morning is come, so you really has to go.
I always make you some breakfast, hoping that you will stay a minute longer.

You always sing to me before I closed my eyes at night, your love is just like that to me; bring peaceful at my heart.
I always pray for your happiness and you knows that it was my biggest gift I’ve ever give for you.

Your big innocent eyes that caught my attention from the first time we met.
Your laugh that just like a bell in my ears.
Your honest tears every time you remembered the guilt.

As today has passed, everything is just going to be nothing but memories.

So now I closed my eyes again. Trying to memorize for the last time before I really have to put it into the Pandora box inside my mind, that I should never touch again, and not to open for a life time.

You moves gracefully with the white long gown. Smiling as you saw me.
But even more brightly to someone else beside you. Kim Kibum.
As I remembered that, I open my eyes. Here goes my best friend.

I laughed pathetically at myself. Do I still deserve to be his best friend in this state?
After I fell in love with his precious one. After I made the girl fell into my arms so willingly behind his back.
What kind of best friend am I? What kind of best man am I?

But then again, in life there always be someone like me.
To give this restless world the balance that everyone never realized they needs.
To mark an angel there should be a devil.

To the world, Choi Minho is the one with angelic smile and gentle heart.
To the world, Kim Kibum is the one with cold eyes and ambitious persona.
But in my world, I’m the so-called evil to his different blood twin.

It should be finished.
It’s already is.
I just can’t cope with it.

I don’t know how to.
The smiling Minho who never felt like this before.
I just-

Wait.
I heard someone called my name.
Is it you?
I really hope it is.

But as the voice becomes near, so close to my ear, I know it’s not you.
It would never be you.
I turned my head.

A pair of hand reached out and took mine.

“Minho? I’ve been looking for you.”

It’s her. The one that really is mine.
Why did she even bother to find someone who doesn’t want to be found?
But her cold hand startled me in a way.

‘The one with cold hands have a warm heart.’ You said to me once.

“Minho?” She called me again.

“Yes?” I said to her, unwillingly.

She shook her head and answers, “Nothing, it’s just I feel lucky to have you.”

I laugh as I wrapped my arm around her. But I’m not really laughing.
With her cold hands I held right now, with her warm heart I should be protect from now on,
I knew I was doomed forever.

Like I said, my presence is important for the world.
To remind the others about the guilt, the loneliness, the pain.
The curse of being someone like me.
 

**************************************************************************************************

Im back!!! now with a story about Minho being the antagonist :)

Well, I do want to give him as many roles as I can. just like my wish to see him being an actor, i bet he can pull the role, heheh

thanks for you who reads and maybe give some comments too, it means a lot!

lovelovelove,

z.