Kyungsoo didn't know when it started, or maybe he did but he never deemed it necessary. He never liked attention, nor did he want it, much less have it and he liked it like that. But ever since the new guy came, he wanted attention. Only now, he wanted the new guy's attention and his attention only.

Kyungsoo was a nerd, a wallflower that only his bestfriend, bestfriend's boyfriend, and the boyfriend's clique took notice. So when the new guy said hi, only then did Kyungsoo knew that he was his new seatmate at class. Not only that but Kyungsoo learned how attention, the new guy's attention, made him feel. He felt warmth, warmth that he never felt before. Without his knowledge, his day ended with him smiling and his friends looking at him weirdly asking if he ate something funny.

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Days rolled by and the new guy, named Jongin, became one of the popular jocks. Perhaps it was because he can play soccer and basketball, or because he was also a great dancer and rapper, or maybe it was because of his visuals in general? Kyungsoo never took notice, maybe it was because all of the things mentioned above were one of the many in Kyungsoo's reasons as to why he came to adore the guy. Only that, adore wasn't the real feeling he felt. But Kyungsoo shrugged it, if only he took notice of what it really was then maybe. Just maybe.

Jongin became one of Kyungsoo's friends, or perhaps his bestfriend's boyfriend's friends, and again Kyungsoo didn't take notice, because he was busy daydreaming. Daydreaming of the things that could happen, things that he wanted to happen, things he wanted to achieve with his Jongin. His.

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Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and before Kyungsoo notice, he was falling in love. 

The months for their third year school year were getting shorter, days were shorter as nights turned longer. Winter time came as soon as Summer time left. Students wore thick layers of jackets and sweaters over their school uniforms, but Kyungsoo never minded it. He loved the winter time, his friends would always joke about how he was the winter's son because he was too cold and stoic. Maybe he was but for the first time his entire life, he felt heated and yet he wasn't burning. 

Coffees, soups and anything that would warm people up were served in the canteen for everyone to feel warmth even if the school had heaters but Kyungsoo never took them. He even asked for an iced coffee from the school's lunch lady, he could still remember the lady's shocked expression when he asked for something cold. He also remembered how his friends, especially Jongin, scolded him. Telling him not to drink the iced beverage because it was winter, it was too cold for a cold glass of coffee. He also remembered how Jongin gave him his scarf, telling him to keep warm at all times so as he wouldn't get sick. It was a feeling Kyungsoo would want to feel forever. 

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The days before winter break were too short in Kyungsoo's opinion but he would never admit he liked it, atleast not to anyone. It was true Kyungsoo was excited, maybe even more so, but who could blame him? A time with friends and a potential love interest was something worth being excited about, especially if it was a three days and two nights trip to a ski resort in courtesy of one of their friends, named Joonmyeon, and to top it all of he was roommates with Jongin, or Kai as he preferred. 

Kyungsoo thought nothing could be better than this and maybe nothing would because he was having the time of his life. Having fun with friends and the guy he liked, what would be better? Ahh yes, being Jongin's boyfriend would. It was something Kyungsoo was waiting for, maybe he was waiting for Jongin to confess. Afraid of being rejected, he hid his feelings well. Only for Baekhyun, his best pal, to find out. He gave him an advice that he said Kyungsoo should follow. Maybe he should've, atleast if he did, rejected or not, he wouldn't be feeling regret.

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The skiing trip ended and so did the winter break, Kyungsoo admits he had fun with his family but he missed the feeling of school and going to school or maybe it was because he missed someone dear to him. The school days were back to normal, no more lazing around, no more coffees, no more soups, and no more thick layers of jackets and sweaters. With the new year, spring came and the flowers bloomed, just like how Kyungsoo thought his love life would.

With just two months and 2 weeks more into the school year, everyone made the best of time. Teachers' gave projects and homeworks everyday, wanting to meet a certain deadline in the lesson plan they've created for the school year. Kyungsoo was always eager about this time of the school year, more work means less time for unwanted thinking and that was what Kyungsoo wanted. Only now, he was more than eager because he was Jongin's seatmate and in most school group projects, seatmates were always the ones paired up or put into groups of 4 or 5. 

With the school's projects, Kyungsoo and Jongin were pulled into a closer bond of friendship. That, Kyungsoo was thankful for because now he had Jongin's attention but he wanted more, so much more. He thought maybe it was wishful thinking that he and Jongin would be something more than friends, that maybe they would end up like their other friends, all paired up, but Kyungsoo shook the thought as soon as it crept up his system. He doesn't have time for these thoughts, he needed to work to finish his projects.

Soon enough, summer vacation came knocking on the door. Everyone was happy, maybe everyone except Kyungsoo. Summer means no school, no school means no classes, and no classes means no Jongin. So what was Kyungsoo supposed to do? He shrugged it off as he walked with his friends, by Jongin's side, away from the school's vicinity and towards the mall where they were going to visit the arcade and play all day long.

Kyungsoo was happy that Jongin lived nearby his house, he lives 4 blocks away from Kyungsoo's and that meant they would go home together often, if Chanyeol sends Baekhyun home. It seems like one of the days, was today. They got out of the arcade by 6:30 in the evening and Chanyeol said he'd take Baekhyun home. So it was only Jongin and Kyungsoo going home together and just like Chanyeol, Jongin offered to take Kyungsoo home. Telling him the excuse it was not safe for a guy like him to walk home alone. Kyungsoo was grateful, he really was. So maybe summer won't be that bad, atleast the last face he saw was Jongin's.

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Kyungsoo's summer consisted of staying in his room reading, watching pororo and doodling Jongin's name in one of his spare notebooks. His summer was always plain, dull and boring. His parents were too busy going to work or tending to his younger brother that they never really remembered they had him, or that was what he thought because they never really paid attention. They were the reason he never wanted attention but atleast he was changing, Jongin was helping him. 

Before Kyungsoo knew it, it was time to be up and running because school was starting. He was a Fourth year now too, he and his friends were seniors. They would be graduating soon and then heading to college or university. One thing Kyungsoo loved was that all of them were going to the same university, the unversity all of them talked about. Kyungsoo was happy, he thought things were going for the better, but it didn't.

It was in the middle of their year as seniors when things started to fall apart for Kyungsoo. He was so keen on getting Jongin's affection and attention that he never thought Jongin would love another. That was his first mistake. The second was when Jongin asked for his help to get the girl, he bravely said he'd help. His third and final mistake was when he believed in the love stories he read over the summer. 

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Jongin approached him at dismissal time that day, asking him if he would be so kind enough to help a poor friend's soul. As expected Kyungsoo said yes, who wouldn't when its for a friend, much less the guy that you liked? So Kyungsoo asked him what he needed help with, was it studies or anything school related and Jongin said it was kind of school related. They went to their favorite cafe near the school to talk about the details. Kyungsoo's world came tumbling down the moment he ate a scoop of his red velvet cake. 

He was told that he was needed to help Jongin get Krystal, the cute friendly girl at class. Kyungsoo didn't know what to do, or maybe he did that's why he said yes. Remembering the cliché love story books he read over the summer, Kyungsoo knew that if he help Jongin, they'd drift apart and somewhere along the way Jongin would realise it was Kyungsoo he liked or loved. 

So Kyungsoo, with his love story books reference, helped Jongin get the girl. Again, using the love story books, Kyungsoo and Jongin hatched plans on how to get Krystal. The first one was flowers, second was chocolate, then a date in a cafe, then the first official date, and so on. Jongin thought it was impressive, he didn't know how to thank Kyungsoo enough so he hugged him. Kyungsoo liked it, it meant Jongin's attention was on him. Never would've Kyungsoo thought it'd lessen by the day.

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The panicking started when he and Jongin never drifted apart, heck they even got closer. Jongin was now in a blooming relationship with Krystal, a relationship everyone shipped or liked. There would never come a day without the people praising them of how a beautiful pair they made. It was quite paradoxical to say that Kyungsoo's mind was happy for them whilst his heart was tearing its broken pieces enough to make refined pieces of sand.

He wasn't one to panic but whatever the books told him, it was not happening, not in this lifetime atleast. So here he was on top of their school building, on the rooftop looking at the sunset, broken and alone but he smiles. Atleast Baekhyun knew what he felt and he comforted him along with their other friends because Baekhyun was Baekhyun. He was the guy who can't shut his mouth up but Kyungsoo was thankful, atleast his friends eased his heartbreak.

In Kyungsoo's hands was his favorite love story book. He wanted to throw it away, burn it, tear its pages apart but he didn't, he just couldn't. Kyungsoo thought rationally, if he tore the book apart or threw it away then no more books and no more books means no distraction, and distraction was what he needed the most. The crucial thing that led to more of his heartbreak was the fact that Krystal was going to the same university as they were. That meant more Krystal and Jongin interaction and his heart can't take much more of that.

As the sun sets, Kyungsoo opened the book and started reading. Reading was what he was good at, other than studying. He wanted to take his mind of things and what better way than to read a book. Kyungsoo wanted to get away and to leave he shall get. For a book is like a portal to a world that you can create. So as Kyungsoo read, he dreamt that he was the protagonist, that he was the one who got the guy. Kyungsoo dreamt of the world were he was Jongin's everything, where he was the center of Jongin's attention and affection. Kyungsoo dreamt of the ending he wanted. He dreamt that the book was his reality and his reality was the book. 

Kyungsoo dreamt of being in the center, not like where he is now...

In The Sidelines.

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Hey everyone, I haven't edited this yet so I'm so sorry if there are typographical errors and grammatical mistakes. I would edit this if I have time. Enjoy reading.

 

*EDITED*