Chapter 3

Mondays are hateful. This rang true to almost everybody. The start of the long parade of aimless days that seemed to stretch to eternity. But Gary hated Mondays for a different reason. He hated it with conviction and yet he hated the days of not seeing her even more. Mondays would always leave with him sick and exhausted just like all his drunken escapades. His thought drifted to the night before, he should have known that Gil’s words were not to be trusted but if he were honest to himself, he would have done it ages ago; to drown the thoughts of her in alcohol, burn away her name, her scent, the image of her with her windswept hair and glazed eyes, and of course that smile, the most beautiful in all of the world. He tried to crush the memories of her but they always comeback more vivid than ever. But Song Jihyo was like a puff of cigarette that no matter how long he try hold in, after a while, he would have to let go.

He had promised that he wouldn’t waste a wink of sleep for her but there he was, up all night gathering precious details as if a thief would come in the night and steal them away from him. He tried to remember the first day. There was no thumping in his chest but he secretly swore at how beautiful she was. The memory faded to their awkward first actual conversation. How he managed to joke about being her black knight remained a mystery. There were his declarations of love which were always half meant.

His eyes grew tired of boring holes into his ceiling and he knew it was time to fix his brew, the most potent he could manage. He sat up on his bed and dragged his body across his apartment. He poured a cup strong coffee and cradled it in his hands. The scalding heat nibbled into his calloused palms but physical pain didn’t matter as much now. He leaned against the glass wall of his living room. Staring down the city from the 11th floor of his apartment building, he watched the yellow lights of the young morning crept slowly on the horizon.

Gary took this quiet moments, when the world was only about to grind its gears to rehearse his lines. In some days he just gave up, letting the hyungs set the flow, following whatever the PDs tell him to do, silently praying that the task wouldn’t involve Jihyo. On those days, his only concern was to not meet her eyes but after what happened in the car park, he felt like putting up a convincing act to protect the 6 year relationship that he painstakingly created. One quiet moment, a moment of him gaping for words and the runningmen would know. He rehearsed the jokes to crack and made a mental note to move around as much as possible and not to sulk or stare off to a distance. He had to be confident enough to be able to look at her without flinching.

He glowered on until the thoughts fade away and there was only the dull buzz of an awakening city for his brain to register. From the corner of his eyes he caught a sight of a plane taking off. He couldn’t care less if that plane would crash onto his feet. He would gladly crumble to the ground with it. But as he looked on, the desire to escape fuelled his soul. To leave all of his misery behind, he may die of longing but how different would it be? But his daydream of exile was cut short by a beeping sound. His gaze fell on the clock, it was 5:30AM and call time was just an hour away. He dressed up, prepped up for another long Monday. His brain had already shut down and switched to autopilot as he grab the essentials and 5 minutes before 6 he was out of the door. On the table next to the window, his coffee lay cold and untouched.       

Gary threw another empty bottle of energy drink and it clang as it fell onto the two other bottles resting like fallen soldiers at the bottom of his car. He closed his eyes, filming