Chapter 2

“Do you want to take a break?” Gil asked from the other side of the glass but there was no answer. Gary continued to stare at the piece of paper on the stand, the beat blaring against his ear had long been switched off. He didn’t looked present. He didn’t even looked like he was breathing at all. He was just there.

Gil threw a piece of crumpled paper, one of those that littered the studio floor and finally, Gary turned at his direction. 

“Yah, you need a break.” Gil shook his head. He didn’t have enough patience for the normal Gary but Gary sulking and half in trance all the time made his life impossible.

Gary pinched the bridge of his nose, seeming overly embarrassed for zoning out in the middle of recording. He glanced at the lyrics again. He didn’t even have the slightest idea what he was rapping about. He went out of the recording room and threw Gil an apologetic look, “Sorry I was just... just out of my element.”

“Out of your element, my . You doing anything else but rapping is out of your element.” He handed him another piece of paper, “Better write that down before your anger or whatever that is goes to waste.”

Gary took the paper and wrote down instantly.

I reached out to you and you flinched like I was something untouchable

When I tried to hold you, you slapped my hands away

I have loved you, you scornful woman

But you said I was joking

Now I can finally say, “Who’s joking now?”

 Your love is the joke. You bitc—

“You are angry,” Gil peeked over his shoulder with a curious pout.

Gary looked up at him. “Do you want me to finish or not?” he could barely suppress the irritation in his tone.

“You need coffee,” Gil suggested but the mischievous drawl of his tongue suggested something else.

Gary leaped out of the chair. He was quick to pick up Gil’s impish taunting. He peered through the glass inlet and truly, a girl was pacing back and forth in the corridor.

“How long has she been here?”

“Long enough for me to notice?”

“Gil Seongjoon!”

“Go get your coffee. Break a sweat or something.”

 Gary made a disgusted face at that remark but there’s no other choice really. He grabbed his jacket, readjusted his cap and went out. As soon as the knob turned, the girl twirled in place, her grey ombre hair flying around her face and met his eyes.  

Moon Chaerin. That was the girl’s name. She was wearing oversized baseball uniform that stopped short on her thighs, displaying her impeccable legs. He met Chaerin 5 years ago when she was recruited to be one of his company's backup dancers. She was just like the other lady dongsaengs before she became someone else to him. They didn’t develop this relationship until 2 years ago, 4 years after Jihyo. He only went out with her when he was absolutely sure that his chances on Jihyo were virtually nil. 

“I texted first but you didn’t respond…” she started coyly.

“How long have you been here? You could have just entered.”

“You were busy. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

These kind of situations would always riddle him with guilt. Chaerin despite of her fierce appearance was a very sweet girl. She always put Gary first before herself and that was precisely why he chose her among his little following. Gary would drop a girl as soon as they make demands but not Chaerin. She was always the patient one.

“That’s ok. Want to grab some coffee?”

Her eyes lit up and Gary felt a twist in his gut.

He guided her inside the café, holding the door for her. The place was looked like all the other cafes in the city, white counter top, overhead menu written in white ink on black background and framed with brown borders. His eyes scanned the menu though he knew he would get his usual. Looking at the dizzying lists of names and flavours, his throat suddenly went dry for haraboji’s coffee. They ordered their coffee, his was hot Americano with two shots of espresso and hers, a confusing concoction of everything else on the menu. They settled on the farthest corner where the lighting was low and removed from the busy centre. He sipped his coffee and fought a grimace. He liked variety in most things but not for his coffee and this coffee was just not strong enough. He wished for haraboji’s coffee yet again.

“His coffee could wake the dead.”

“Neh, oppa?” Chaerin looked up from her mug.

“Nothing.” Gary shrugged and turned to the glass wall that failed to obscure them from the view. He stared at it while silence hung still in the air.

“Glass walls let you see all in a person,” He started absently, seemingly oblivious of Chaerin sitting in front of him, “from their soiled heels to their made up faces. Glass walls don’t conceal anything. Nothing’s left for our imagination to work with. Unlike windows, windows only allow you to see a face, a hand, or if it was holding another hand but aside from that, you can make up their identities, their stories because you could never truly tell.”

Chaerin only sat quietly in her place as Gary’s thoughts continued to run further away from the present. It started from the windows, then to almost everything else that were strikingly opposite from haraboji’s place, then he caught himself trying to remember, almost desperately, his c