"I tell myself, that you are only a moment. How in the universe full of moments, we're just two stars that found the same orbit. I tell myself that it doesn't matter if we fall out of orbit, stop chasing our heels, stop touching each other, like sunflowers are growing from our skins. I tell myself you are not the sun and I am not the greedy earth." 

October 8th, 2015

There were many loves before Jung Jaehyun came barging in a couple of days ago. Or maybe they never even loved Doyoung back, he’s not sure. Never is, never was, maybe can be. One of those loves was that person; the second person that Doyoung may or may not have loved, whose name is a secret locked up in the back of Doyoung’s heart. 

To some; love is precious; to some, love is toxic; to Doyoung, love is strange; to Boram, love is violent; to that person, love is a form of escapism. 

But that person was and is gorgeous, just as gorgeous as the faraway dreams he would mumble of. From his eyes as black the dark skies he loved so preciously to the mocha-coloured, unstyled fringe dropped down against his forehead to even the minty scent of his breath that’s always overshadowed by the nauseously obnoxious stench of Febreeze. And his jaw, oh god, it could rival even that of the  greek gods.

Doyoung’s never the only one that admires that person’s handsome looks, but he is the only one that could bear his intimidating air. Perfect looks, those he had; but he, as a person, was far from perfection.

That second love is closer to being the same as Jung Jaehyun yet also so far away. Jung Jaehyun is a mystery that can’t be solved, that person is a mystery that refuses to be solved; Jung Jaehyun is a born troublemaker, that person looks for trouble as sedative; Jung Jaehyun is incapable of loving anyone, that person loved but never whom he wanted to love. 

He’s a puzzle that Doyoung lacks and lacked the pieces for, yet just as only a fool would — Doyoung had clung to that person to the end back then. It’d been stupid, but humans do stupid things. Sometimes.

Besides, if it is for that person, Doyoung knows he would repeat every single one of his mistakes again. Not in the present, but should they turn back the clock then he would. The clock cannot be turned though. And that person is no longer Doyoung’s; perhaps never even was. 

He came and vanished with the soft summer winds of the year Doyoung turned seventeen.

Doyoung will call him Seoul Boy.

June 19th, 2014

The local corner store of Doyoung’s local neighbourhood is always quiet and empty past 11 PM, so he's not going there to meet someone. His parents have no requests for groceries nor does his hyung, nor does he himself. There’s no real reason for Doyoung to go there. There’s no real reason besides that person.

That person is that person; a person that’s caught Doyoung’s interest.

Someone that may or may not have changed Doyoung’s mind about the ephemeral mystery that is love.

In the past, Doyoung has never been very fond of the cheesy love stories; even as he watches everyone else around him experience them, he has never been envious. He never longed to be one of those couples that go for romantic promenades under the cherry blossoms or stay up past midnight to text each other rehearsed lovey-dovey shallow phrases they've spoken to dozens of others before.

But that person is so natural even as he spews out sweet nonsense.

The moment that Doyoung steps inside the convenience store, Seoul Boy steals his attention. His looks are as dashing as ever, even while wearing a duo of exhausted dark bags under his eyes accompanied by the hideous amber/red uniform the corner store forces every one of its employees to wear. That ugly uniform is the sole reason Doyoung has decided against picking up a job here; Boram says it's social suicide, Doyoung agrees.

“Ah, Guri Boy. You came again?” He greets Doyoung in a casual manner as usual, with a weak wave of his hand; gaze never sundering away from the astronomy magazine spread over the cash register. “I was wondering if you’d show up or not.”

“You’re the cheapest convenience store on the block, of course I came.” Doyoung bites back a cheeky smile, feining nonchalance as he ambles around the shop; he doesn’t even have a pet at home, yet he repeatedly finds himself lingering around the animal assortment for sometimes hours. “Is that going to be a problem?” 

“No, you’re more than welcome. Or at least, I appreciate your company.” Doyoung sneaks a quick peek at his crush, pleased to see that a small smirk has taken over Seoul Boy's otherwise gloomy face. “But my boss isn’t gonna be so happy that you never buy anything.”

“I am going to buy something.”

“Sure, you are.” 

Doyoung pouts. The store should be grateful that he's been coming by almost every night for the past month. Seoul Boy’s acting aloof, pretending it's not a big deal he’s here, but Doyoung's convinced he's only customer they’ve got besides some thrifty ahjummas and cheap elementary schoolers that pop up randomly throughout the day.

But unfortunately for Seoul Boy’s boss, Doyoung is just as much of a penny-pincher as the rest.

“I'm going to take a pack of cigs and some gum.” Cigs for Boram, gums for him.

Seoul Boy runs his teeth along his bottom lip, perplexed. “You never smell of smoke but you’re always buying cigs.”

“Is that a statement or a question?”

“Both.”

Doyoung frowns. “Huh.”

Seoul Boy’s mouth is glued back shut as he turns around to fetch Boram her cigarettes; he remembers the brand and everything without a single reminder from Doyoung. Another sign of how often Doyoung truly drops by here. Either that or Seoul Boy has a super memory. 

Doyoung decides to cave in and explain, since the guy’s clearly curious. “They’re for my friend.”

“The short one?”

“Her name’s Boram; she’s short, but she’s also fiesty. Never let her hear you say she’s short.” Doyoung’s assuming that's who he means at least. Besides Boram, Doyoung doesn’t hang out much with any of his other friends outside school grounds. “And don’t forget the bubblegum. Strawberry flavor.”

“Are you sure?” Seoul Boy squints.

“That gum costs 2000 won, 'course I’m not kidding around.”

Seoul Boy snorts. “Okay, I was just curious. You’ve only ever bought lemon before.”

But this one is you favorite, isn't it? "I’ve grown bored of it, I guess. Wanted to try a new one.”

“It’s good to keep up some variety.” Seoul Boy nods, agreeing. He rings up the summarized cost for the items. “8000 won.”

Once he’s paid up, Doyoung kicks his heels, eyes darting impatiently around the store as Seoul Boy wraps up his goods. He’s been hoping Seoul Boy would ask him out on a date ever since the moment that they met a month ago, but it seems he’s either too dense to catch onto the clues or simply not interested. Neither are good, but Doyoung desperately wishes for it to be the former over the latter. 

“Okay, here you go.” Seoul Boy hands over the colorless plastic bag, face back to its usual aloofness. But what he says next is shocking enough to send Doyoung’s heart into a frenzy. “Are you free tomorrow?”

“Uh, tomorrow?” Doyoung nervously taps his foot, shivering as his fingers brush past Seoul Boy’s when accepting the plastic