Jaehwan’s only hope was that phone number written in a vandalized wall on the way to his apartment.

He knew that dialing the number and sending a text message to the owner would get him into something – at least for that one night when he felt alone. He needed someone to be with on the last night of winter.

He first saw the phone number written on a graffiti wall three weeks ago while walking into a dimly-lit alley, the only shortcut to his apartment. He was an obsessive-compulsive individual who could not take anything like that so he immediately noticed the phone number freshly written with black coloring pen. He tried to look around for the culprit who violated the graffiti made specifically by his neighbor Wonshik.

Jaehwan remembered that folk again who, kept him company for the past three months when he started to move into his new apartment. Wonshik looked aloof and arrogant when Jaehwan saw him, but he was nice and friendly when Jaehwan got to know him after a little while. After work, Jaehwan would see the one year younger man smoking while sitting on the apartment’s staircase and Jaehwan would avoid the smoke all the time. However, one night, Wonshik called him and asked him if he had a lighter and Jaehwan immediately answered that he had none. Wonshik laughed when Jaehwan almost flew towards the door of his apartment and searched for his house keys to quickly open it. Jaehwan turned to him.

“That’s my apartment,” Wonshik replied when Jaehwan impliedly asked him why he was laughing. Jaehwan was surprised that Wonshik was right when he saw someone else’s name on the door. He pretended that he was not embarrassed and instead, he walked calmly in front of his apartment door. When he was trying to open the door, Wonshik spoke again. “I am Wonshik by the way, new neighbor. What’s your name?”

He wasn’t very friendly like him but he answered him without looking at him. “I am Jaehwan.”

Jaehwan could tell that Wonshik had puffed a smoke from his cigarette before he spoke again. “Nice to meet you. I am an artist. I believe you’re an artist too because the landlady told me so. Do you work anywhere? Advertising company? Any company-”

Wonshik was cut when Jaehwan finally opened the door and entered it. He closed the door as well. He wasn’t in the mood to talk because he was in deep and he was tired to be friendly. Jaehwan knew it was rude but in the end he decided to talk to him the next day and to apologize for being rude. But never on that day.

The next day, like what he had decided to do, he apologized. Wonshik was too cool to accept the apology right away and eventually, he was able to narrate his life story from the day he dropped out of school and chose to look for a decent living without sacrificing his love for arts. Jaehwan could relate but he wasn’t the person he wanted to talk to about him and his life so Wonshik did all the talking and the younger barely learned anything about him aside from the fact that he went to the university to finish a course related to arts.

The graffiti artist had created the artwork a few months before he finally left the apartment next door and it was the only thing that the twenty-three year old man left Jaehwan as a remembrance. Wonshik told him that he needed to go back home for good because he was needed. Nothing was disclosed aside from that and Jaehwan didn’t inquire anymore.

Every time he would go home from work, he would stop by and get distracted because of that phone number. One time, the number was accompanied by a lewd message that made him more annoyed.

If you want some great , send a text message to this number.

“Who would even send a text message to an unknown person? Who would even have with a stranger?” He asked himself and after a few minutes, he left.

***

Jaehwan got into another big fight with his boyfriend when he learned that he has been cheating for the third time. He saw him with a woman who, by the looks of it, was younger than him. Jaehwan’s knees wobbled when he saw them almost making out in the street and were about to go inside a hotel.

Jaehwan dialed his boyfriend’s number and he secretly hoped that the guy he saw wasn’t him. When Hongbin, his boyfriend, stopped kissing the woman who was asking for more and got the phone from his pocket then answered his call, Jaehwan tried to ask calmly.

“W-where are you?” His voice was stuttering, but again he hoped that Hongbin would tell him the truth. “Let’s have a coffee together.”

Hongbin frowned and Jaehwan saw him mouthing something to the woman who in turn smirked and kissed him on the lips. Hongbin smiled after almost a second of silence. “I think I can’t go, baby. I am busy with work.”

Jaehwan tightened his grasp on the phone but he still remained calm. “T-That’s sad. I’m… I’m just going to enter this coffee shop near Sun Hotel.”

Hongbin was caught back when he realized that Jaehwan was near them. He looked around and he finally saw Jaehwan about five meters behind them. “J-Jaehwan… baby… Let me explain-”

Jaehwan ran as fast as he could back to his apartment. He quickly got the keys of his apartment and opened the door as quickly as he could. When he finally opened it, he entered and slammed the door close then he jumped into his bed to cry himself to sleep.

He heard simultaneous knocks on the door. Knowing that it was Hongbin, he pretended that he didn’t hear them. Hongbin kept on pounding the door so Jaehwan wiped his tears and opened the door.

“Baby, please let me explain-” Hongbin pleaded and grabbed Jaehwan’s shoulders. Jaehwan struggled to get off and pushed Hongbin away.

Jaehwan gathered all his strength to look at Hongbin. “What is there to explain, Hongbin? You’ve done this three times already! You pleaded for my forgiveness for all those times and I was so stupid to keep on forgiving you. I gave up my family for you, I gave up my life for you. People were judging me because I was with a guy but I fought for our relationship because I loved you! I threw everything away for you. Were those not enough for you? Am I not enough, Lee Hongbin?”

Hongbin hugged him tightly. “You’re enough for me but she can give me what you can’t give me. I thought you’d understand that it wouldn’t be forever for us, right-”

Jaehwan pushed Hongbin and slapped him on the face. “That’s what you want from me? Is that it? Leave me alone! Three times was stupid enough. It is over between us. Now, go!”

Hongbin smirked and yelled, “You know, you’re right. You’re not enough. You will never be enough to someone!” He left and slammed the door close after him.

Jaehwan fell on the ground and broke down in tears once again.

Of all people, he thought Hongbin was the person he could lean on to forever.

When he learned that he was attracted to guys more than he ever was attracted to girls, he isolated himself from the crowd. He was usually alone in school that was why he was able to do well in school. He was an honor student and people liked him for his talents. He received a lot of confessions as well but the one that stood out was Hongbin’s confession.

As an extra credit in physical education where Jaehwan gained a lot of poor grades, he was assigned by the teacher to mop the court, to bring in some water for the athletes, to put the used balls into the bins, to wash the clothes and towels and others. He would usually stay at the gymnasium after classes and his cleaning time would usually overlap with basketball varsity practices where Hongbin was. Hongbin was a star player – not to mention that he was handsome – that was why girls and even guys drooled over him. One time, Jaehwan was cleaning the side court when the ball flew towards him and almost hit him.

“Sorry!” Hongbin, who threw the ball, said to him and smiled, “Please pass the ball to me.”

Jaehwan was attracted to his smile that he almost caught off-guard before he took the ball and threw it towards Hongbin who wasn’t able to catch it. “I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he smiled again and took the ball back to the court. By that time, Jaehwan knew he had a crush on Hongbin.

Every after practice, he would watch him play while he was mopping the floor on the side, that was why his mind would usually fly and the other players would . Jaehwan would end up mopping faster so that they could leave him alone.

It was almost the interschool tournament when he was needed to do extra work – to clean the locker rooms. Jaehwan, being obedient, took the task. He had started cleaning the locker room when a group of basketball players went inside.

“Look, there he is,” one player shouted and the others laughed. “Why aren’t you outside? We missed you.” The player went towards him and stretched his hand to a locker where Jaehwan was while he was facing it. Jaehwan didn’t face him and instead, he kept on wiping the locker doors. “I bet you agreed to this task because you want to see us , huh, ?”

“Obviously,” someone answered for him and pinched his . Jaehwan immediately turned around on impulse and the player who was locking him almost pushed him towards the locker doors. Jaehwan looked on the ground to avoid the player’s stare. “Look at him, he’s all shy.”

The two more players laughed hard.

“Excuse me, I have to clean the shower room as well-”

“You can’t go,” the player pinned him using his upper body and put his free hand on the Jaehwan’s left side. “We’re not done playing with you.”

“I am really not done cleaning yet so excuse me-”

“What about we have a good time together? I think you want a muscle like this,” he slid his arm around Jaehwan’s waist. “Or I think you want more of this.” He moved his lower body closer to Jaehwan’s. Jaehwan almost shrieked when he felt the player rubbing his thigh on his thigh. Jaehwan closed his eyes tightly as he tried to push the guy, however, the basketball player was obviously stronger than him. “Oh, you want it? Just let me have shower first and we’ll do more of this in your house. Okay?”

“L-Let me go,” Jaehwan almost stuttered as he tried to push him. “I d-don’t want you.”

The player grimaced. “So, who do you want? You liked Hongbin better, huh? He’s straight as hell, he won’t notice you.”

“He already told you that he doesn’t want you. Why don’t you leave him alone?” Someone from the back asked. Jaehwan opened his eyes and saw Hongbin near the locker room’s entrance. The player left Jaehwan and turned to Hongbin. “I believe he’s not that kind of person.”

“Wow, I can’t believe you’re actually concerned,” The player said. “You can’t be that concerned.”

“Of course I am. Because I like him being open to what he is. Unlike you. You’re trying to hide behind your big muscles,” Hongbin said as he looked serious. Jaehwan was surprised to see Hongbin’s face that serious because he was usually all smiles. The player was triggered so he charged towards Hongbin and he got punched. Hongbin stepped back on impact. “Are you happy now?”

“Why are you siding with him?” the player asked.

Hongbin smirked and wiped the blood oozing from the side of his lips. “I just know that he’s better than you, compared to a straight guy like you, you’re no match.”

The player punched Hongbin on the face again. That time, Hongbin fell on the ground and the other players held the assaulter to prevent him from hurting Hongbin again.

“What’s happening here!?” The coach entered and saw Hongbin on the ground. “Who started the fight?”

“Hongbin did it! I just defended myself, right guys?” The player looked at everyone who was not answering. “Guys!”

“Hongbin didn’t start it,” the other said. He pointed at the basketball player. “It was him.”

Others agreed. The player glared at Hongbin and at everyone including Jaehwan. “All of you! You will pay for this.” He ran and went out of the locker room.

“Everyone, go back to practice! Hongbin, go to the nurse’s room and treat your wound before coming back to practice,” The coach instructed Hongbin who stood and straightened up. Then, the coach turned to Jaehwan who was still dazed. “You, Jaehwan. Go with Hongbin in the nurse’s room.”

Jaehwan gulped as he nervously looked at Hongbin who was smiling at him. He nodded and looked away then he left the locker room first before Hongbin.

They were not talking to each other while they were on their way to the nurse’s room. When they entered the clinic, Hongbin finally spoke. “The nurse is not here. I guess she’s already out with her boyfriend.” Hongbin looked around to search for a first aid kit. He began opening the medicine cabinets. “I am certain that this is here…”

“A-Are we not supposed to go here without their permission?” Jaehwan asked as he nervously looked around for people who might be listening to them then he focused on Hongbin’s back. I want to hug him, he thought as he stared at Hongbin’s back for quite a while. Then Hongbin all of a sudden turned when he found the first aid kit.

“I found it!” He excitedly exclaimed and showed the first aid kit to Jaehwan who unfroze and went back to reality. Hongbin smiled and went towards the bed then he sat on it after putting the kit on the bed beside him. “Help me clean my wound.”

“A-Ah, yes…” Jaehwan answered and went towards Hongbin. He opened the first aid kit and took the cotton swab out. Hongbin helped him and their hands touched. Jaehwan blushed at the contact so he bowed so that Hongbin wouldn’t see. When Jaehwan thought the flush in his face had already disappeared, he looked back at Hongbin but to his surprise, Hongbin was staring at him. He blinked and then he tried to look away again when Hongbin touched his face and after a few seconds he cupped it.

“To tell you honestly, I was so happy when he mentioned that you liked me better than any one of them. I was also relieved,” Hongbin said as he held Jaehwan’s hands with his free hand. “Because I’ve had my eyes for you ever since we met.”

Jaehwan almost teared up when he met Hongbin’s eyes which was staring intently at him. “I-I… L-Lee Hongbin…”

Hongbin took Jaehwan’s right hand closer to his lips and then he kissed the back of it. “I like you, Jaehwan.”

When Hongbin was about move his face closer to Jaehwan’s, Jaehwan moved away and spoke, “A-Ah… I got to treat you first.”

Hongbin removed his grasp. “Are you not happy about it?”

“I am happy but… But I need to treat your wound first,” Jaehwan admitted and insisted to dab the cotton swab on Hongbin’s lips. Hongbin jerked in pain. “I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Hongbin said. “I just don’t like people touching you, that’s all. And that got into my nerves for doing that to you!”

“It’s already done. I think they won’t even bother to do it again,” Jaehwan said as he dabbed the cotton swab carefully on Hongbin’s wound. Hongbin closed his eyes and Jaehwan noticed. “Why? Did I hurt you?”

Hongbin opened his eyes and smiled at Jaehwan. “No, not at all. It didn’t hurt at all.”

There was a long minute of silence. Jaehwan finally finished treating Hongbin’s wound so he put everything back to the first aid kit and then put the kit into the medicine cabinet.

“You need to go back to practice,” Jaehwan said as he closed the cabinet. He was shocked though when he felt Hongbin hugging him from behind. “H-Hongbin?”

“I’ll ditch the practice,” Hongbin hugged him tighter and put his chin on Jaehwan’s shoulder. “Let’s go home together, shall we?”

Jaehwan blushed but he nodded afterwards.

He was genuinely happy that the person that he liked so much also reciprocated his feelings. He blushed again when Hongbin held his hand again while they were walking on a street where the bus stop was. Hongbin would always observe the shy Jaehwan who couldn’t even keep a long stare at the basketball player.

“I wonder how… how you look so handsome,” Jaehwan asked while they were walking together. Hongbin stopped and faced Jaehwan without removing his grasp from his hand. Jaehwan looked away when Hongbin stared at him again. “I-I mean… you’re too handsome, that’s why people like you so much.”

Hongbin chuckled. “I’ve always been called an artwork by friends and others who know me. But then, I am sorry. I only have you in my eyes. So… are we going to date starting now?”

Jaehwan turned to Hongbin and saw the sincerity in his eyes and for the first time in his life, he felt really assured. He nodded and smiled at Hongbin. Hongbin hugged him again for the second time, even tighter than the first one.

“You don’t know how much you made me happy, Jaehwan!” He exclaimed and pulled himself from the hug. Jaehwan wasn’t able to predict what happened next.

His first kiss was finally given to Hongbin.

After few weeks, they would usually sneak out from classes and go somewhere where they were the only ones there, or sometimes they would hang out together outside school. They spent so much precious time with each other for several weeks.

Jaehwan and Hongbin missed several classes that was why Jaehwan slowly forgot about getting good grades to please his parents. On the day when the report card was given, Jaehwan received too much scolding from his perfectionist father. He ended up yelling to his father and it was his first time to do so. He immediately ran into his room and cried. He decided to call Hongbin and the latter answered.

Or he was not the one who did.

He heard a voice of a female who asked who he was. Jaehwan looked for Hongbin and the woman told him that he was still in the shower. Jaehwan bit his lip and told the woman that he would call again. Couldn’t it be that Hongbin is cheating on me? He thought and it made him sadder. No, it can’t be. He assured himself.

After that day, Jaehwan was not allowed to go somewhere else after classes. His father wanted him to go straight from school to their house and study. Jaehwan thought it was alright, since he could still find time with Hongbin during school hours.

However, the tables had turned when Hongbin told him that he could not see him as frequent as before since he reasoned out that his grades were also low and that the coach told him that he could not play basketball if his grades were low. Jaehwan said that he understood it although it was painful to him. The thoughts of Hongbin cheating on him ran in his mind but he never spoke to Hongbin about that.

For the next few weeks, they barely had any communication whatsoever. Jaehwan’s task for the Physical Education class was done and he knew that he could not see Hongbin in basketball practices. Jaehwan would also try to go to Hongbin’s classroom and peek just to see Hongbin.

But he would either see Hongbin talking to a flirty classmate or not at all.

Jaehwan finally thought that everything was over between them. But Hongbin never told him anything. He was waiting for him to cut their ties completely if it was really over between them.

Although it was painful, he decided to end it himself.

He left a note inside Hongbin’s locker when his last class was dismissed. He waited at the unused fire exit and waited there. However, Hongbin never showed himself to him.

He decided to go home and just end their relationship probably through a phone call or a text message, even if it wouldn’t look too nice at all. But he needed to do it so that he could move on and not hope anymore for Hongbin whom he realized was really out of reach for him.

When he was about to go home, he saw Hongbin exiting the gate as well, so he decided to run towards him but a girl hooked her arm around Hongbin’s arm. His heart beat fast when Hongbin looked at her sweetly and smiled at her – the way he smiled at him.

He clenched his fists because he confirmed that Hongbin was indeed cheating on him. But he thought rationally instead. He chose to ignore the two and not confront them. He didn’t want Hongbin’s reputation in school be tarnished.

He walked quickly and passed them by, and at least he hoped that Hongbin would call him or even notice him. When nothing happened, his tears fell as he stopped walking and he turned around to Hongbin who also stopped walking. Jaehwan gulped as he stared right into Hongbin’s eyes. Hongbin acted like he was going to say something, but Jaehwan decided to turn towards the gate and walked as fast as he could so that he could go home quickly.

When he got home, he locked the door and cried himself to sleep, missing his dinner and Hongbin’s calls.

He tried not to get too hurt and in order to do that, he chose to study during lunch time the next day. He left the classroom only after classes. He went to his locker and saw Hongbin’s note that wrote, let’s meet at the basketball court, please. He hesitated if he would go but he decided to go to officially end things with him – that would be more appropriate after what happened. He didn’t want to forever be angry with Hongbin who hurt his feelings so it would be better for him to move on with life without him.

He went to the basketball court and so no one but Hongbin waiting for him at one of the benches.

He stood and walked towards Jaehwan and met him halfway. “I am glad that you were able to come.”

“I’m going home early so if you will tell me that we are going to break up, just get on with it,” Jaehwan faced Hongbin, looking him straight in the eyes. “I wanted to meet up with you yesterday to break up with you because it would not be possible for us to continue since we don’t have time for each other now. And in addition to that, you’re already in a relationship with someone.”

Hongbin chuckled. “No, Jaehwan, I am not going to break up with you. I won’t break up with you because you’re the one that I like. She’s my close cousin and she just transferred here. I am not cheating on you. I left home early with her because her mom asked me to do so. I was going to text you but you already misunderstood.”

“But you don’t have any time for me, Hongbin! How can we continue to date?” Jaehwan asked. Hongbin held his shoulders as he looked at him intently. “W-We can’t continue like this-”

“Of course we can, Lee Jaehwan. Trust me. If we succeed in recovering our grades, we’ll continue as how we are. I love you so much, Jaehwan, and I can’t just let you go,” Hongbin kissed Jaehwan and Jaehwan’s heart fluttered again. Hongbin’s kiss was tempting him to kiss back and he did as he held his boyfriend’s back. When Hongbin ended the kiss, Jaehwan left his eyes closed, wanting for more. “Do you… like to go to the nurse’s clinic?”

Jaehwan nodded as Hongbin held his hand and they both ran to the nurse’s clinic.

As expected, there were no staff nor patients inside the nurse’s clinic when they entered the room. Without any ado, Hongbin locked the room as quickly as possible and pushed Jaehwan to the wall, locked him between his arms and kissed him passionately. Jaehwan’s heart beat fast as he was nervous, but his body seemed to be moving by itself. Jaehwan’s arms wrapped around Hongbin’s waist and kissed him back, letting his tongue fight with his boyfriend’s tongue for dominance. He never thought he would know how to do that, and it seemed that Hongbin was surprised as well. Hongbin left his lips for a while, but he