At Peace

He was grateful. Oh so grateful.

It would be a lie to say that he was happy when the tear tracks on his face proved otherwise.

But he was grateful.

Yes, it was unfair that it had to happen to him. And at such a young age too. But what was done was done, and the choice, despite how wrong it seemed, was for the best.

It certainly did beat watching his lover suffer quietly under the relentless wrath of cancerous cells.

Park Jinyoung.

Age: 25.

Time of death: September 23rd, 00.17am.

It was three years ago when Jinyoung suddenly collapsed in the middle of practice, leaving the members in a frenzy. Jaebum was thankful that it didn't happen while the other was doing a flip, for that might have caused some terrible injuries. The gratitude faded quickly though when the younger failed to respond to his calls.

He had no idea how he had managed to calm the other members down and got Youngjae to call an ambulance.

But he did it.

They had chalked it up to exhaustion at first, sure that it was nothing a few days of rest wouldn't heal. And so the management gave them a well-deserved break, one that all them utilized fully.

They had thought that Jinyoung was in the clear, that everything was alright and things went back to normal.

Until Jinyoung fainted again one month later. This time, in the middle of a photoshoot.

Once again, someone called the ambulance. However, this time, JYP thought that something might be off and insisted for a full checkup.

The news wasn't good.

Jinyoung had cancer. And it was stage 3.

Surprisingly, Jinyoung himself took the news better than s did.

Jackson threw a tantrum, asking god why it was so unfair for this to be happening to them.

Yugyeom and Bambam just broke down into tears.

Youngjae gasped and then poured himself into research on what he could do to make Jinyoung feel better.

And Mark. Mark simply stared at the younger as if he had no idea what Jinyoung had just said.

(Maybe he didn't, due to his limited Korean. But Jaebum didn't think so, when he walked in on Mark expressing his frustration and helplessness at the situation by practicing flips over and over again.)

It was only at night when the rest of the members were in their rooms after that long day that Jinyoung poured out all his fears and tears to Jaebum - how scared he was when he heard it. Not for himself but for the people around him, how there were so many things that he wanted to do but oh so little time, and how he wanted to spend it all with his loved ones, especially Jaebum.

That was his Jinyoung. Always putting others before him.

And Jaebum himself?

He held Jinyoung in his arms throughout the entire night, pressing kisses against the other's forehead. He only allowed his own tears to flow when he was sure that Jinyoung was fast asleep.

Jinyoung wanted for them to continue with their activities. They had been in the middle promoting their new album and were about to embark on a concert tour. Of course, none of the members agreed, but no one said anything wisely.

(Youngjae stepped on Bambam's foot when he was about to open his mouth to protest.)

The words it might be my last tour were left unsaid.

But everyone heard it anyway.

And so they put on bigger smiles, laughed and joked more to make this particular tour count. Jaebum watched over s with a sense of pride, while keeping an eye out for Jinyoung.