1

The Girl

January, 2015

Gwangju

She hated January. She hated its winter and all the coldness she felt. She hated how her nose and cheeks would turn red because its temperatures. And most of all, she hated the feeling that comes with January. 

“Shin Hye-ah!” somebody called behind her.

She turned her head for a second but kept on walking, ignoring Kang So Ra who was running towards her. “Gosh, that’s cold.” So Ra said as she finally matched her step. “So, are you going to the reunion that arranged by Hong Ki, Jong Hoon, and Ye Jin?”

“No.” Shin Hye replied shortly. 

“Again? Why?!” So Ra threw her arms in the air, frustrated with her best friend constant answer. “The school is still in a winter break and this is the first time we will be reunited after we all are working.”

“They hold a reunion like, every two years and it’s not as if I’ll miss anything.” Shin Hye replied mindlessly.

High School reunion as Hongki often called it was only a simple gathering between her former classmates and once of the planned moment when it turned out to be a real High School reunion where almost everyone in they year came. She was glad she didn’t come. Although she only studied with them for almost two years, but she was certainly famous. 

“You know, no one is ever talking about the accident again.” So Ra said cautiously as if by bringing this up again already hurt Shin Hye. “No one in our class, I mean. If it’s what makes you refuse to go.”     

Shin Hye managed to smile and focused back on her step. She still felt the aching pain in her heart every time she remembered about it. Not because she remembered their hurtful words or hatred gaze, but because she remembered his beautiful smile. His heavenly smile.

“I don’t care about them. They can talk about it all they want.”

She tried to keep her mood up but failed miserably. There was nothing in her power that she could do to take the pain away.

“Okay, stop about this sad topic and I’m sorry for bringing it up again.” So Ra said quickly, sensing Shin Hye’s change of mood. “How about we grab some lunch and then go to my house for some girls talk session?”

Shin Hye laughed as she heard the ‘girls talk session’ line. So Ra of all people had been a best friend for her since High School and this ‘girls talk session’ had happened countless time. So Ra would babbling non-stop about her boyfriend whose cousin was Shin Hye, Park Hae Jin.

“But first we should focus on finding this particular book that I need for the new semester. Remember that you came here to accompany me looking for it.” Shin Hye wrapped her arm around So Ra’s shoulder in a friendly way.

“Aye, teacher Park.” So Ra gave her a salute like a sailor. “I mean, aye teacher Park Pig.” She corrected.

“Ya! Kang So Ra!” Shin Hye dropped her arm around So Ra’s shoulder and hit the taller woman’s arm instead. “Don’t ever call me with that name in front of my students, okay?”

“Why? It’s kind of cute.” So Ra picked her pace and walked before Shin Hye. “Park Pig!” She shouted, then ran away leaving Shin Hye behind.

Shin Hye laughed and ran after her, screaming her name. They looked childlike but they always were every time they were together. 

***

“So, are you coming?” Hong Ki asked from the other line, sounding so enthusiastic to be on the phone with her. It had been almost a year since the last time they called each other. 

“I don’t know.”

“It won’t be as festive as usual. It will be only a simple and small gathering.” Shin Hye knew Hong Ki tried not to sound disappointed, but he did anyway. “I promise you it will be cozy. There will only be me, Jong Hoon, Jong Hyun, Ye Jin, So Ra, and you. I’m not inviting the others this time.”

“Hong Ki, please. I will go and meet everyone when I’m ready.” She hated it when she sounded weak, yet she just did.

It wasn’t like she hadn’t ready to face them. Only sometimes even her best friends were asking too much question that led her to another heartache.

“But it’s been eight years. Eight years and I—“ He choked up, making Shin Hye held her breath waited for him to continue. “And I miss you.”

It was sound so sincere that all her walls were broken down by those four words. Hong Ki and her were very close back then. They almost had nothing to hide from one to another, except that one thing.

Suddenly she was very aware of a hole in her heart. It’d been there since long ago, haunting her with its darkness, reminded h