Do you ever question yourself when will you ever find yourself? Or wanting to know what the hell is your purpose in this goddamn world? Or rather, am I even supposed to live?

 

Because hell, these questions have been taunting me since forever. I’m only 17 years old. I could say I’m currently just messing up my life by my impetuous actions. I am spoiled, I know that. And now, looking at this thin, small, thick bearded guy makes the chance higher of me vomiting in front of him.

I have a ing hangover. And I am currently alone in our house which means I could be chilling out or rather answer lame calls from our telephone because they are finding my mother or rather open our door because of the non-stop mails and deliveries. Which what is likely currently happening.

 

He lamely took off his blue cap with a printed green ‘NYC’ in it, I almost wanted to vomit because of the choice of color. He slowly looked at me, like I’m kind of a depressed kid or a problem child. Oh god he is taking so long like hello? I’m watching my favorite series The Walking Dead though. This guy is wasting my time.

I raised my eyebrows on him, impatiently getting irritated because he being such a moron standing there. “Yes.” I was the first one to speak, I spoke so fast that it came out monotonously.

The lame guy was about to speak when my phone I am currently holding beeped. Which caused him to flinch a little. I gestured him to wait for a second and I answered the phone, it was my sister.

 

“What do you want?” I impatiently asked my sister for being another invader of my time. I keep getting disturbers for today huh.

 

“Go to Yeongeon-dong hospital. Now.” My older sister firmly said. We don’t usually talk. Because we don’t really get along well and blend-in well with each other, right after I became such pain in the .

 

“What makes you think I’ll go-“ She hung up. Wow, I can’t believe she just hung up on me.

 

I felt a presence of existence as I looked at my phone after the phone call of my sister. Oh, this mail guy is still here.

“Are you Ms. Kim Chaewon?” The guy slowly said. I bet this guy has some turtle blood in him. Everything in him is so freaking slow.

“Yeah.” I answered him, with a tone of not giving interest of what he was about to say.

 

“Your parents just got into an accident, they are confined in Yeongeon-dong hospital” The man in front of me said the news slower than he spoke a while ago, I think he’s talking slowly to let me sink the news in. But really, it doesn’t.

“What happened?” This guy is far from a mail man. I am trying not to freak out because of what I have just heard. I looked at the man standing in front of me, with his head down, playing with the rim of his cap. Who the hell is this guy anyways?

 

“When they were about to come back here in Korea, the plane they are riding crashed and was found 2 hours later.”  The man answered me so quietly that I couldn’t almost figure out what he’s saying. I think he is pitying me.

“Is that so? Well if you’re done, better get out of my sight.” I could almost barked at him, he looks so feeble, he should be the one who needs to be pitied.

 

He hurriedly bowed and he turned his back on me while putting on his cap again and finally he walked away of our house. I slammed the door and went upstairs to change my clothes. If this was all just a joke I’m gonna have to kill that guy. If it wasn’t for my sister because she just called me and ordered me to go there too.

 

I wore a black shorts and a red crop top, with a matching black boots. This is the way I dress, not conservative, also not that intimidating, well kind of intimidating, because of my existence though. I know my limits somehow. I also applied some streaks of eyeliner and a light shade of red lipstick. I lightened up my make-up this time since I am just going in a hospital. I often apply heavy make-up whenever I go to parties. I brought with me just my wallet and my phone. What else would happen to me there?

 

Locking our front door, I rolled my eyes just as I started walking towards my baby Lexus. Just painted it dark blue last month. Since the hospital I am headed to is just a 10 minute drive, I don’t have to be bothered being caught because I still have no license though. I always get away with that.

I always drive without following the speed limit, so I arrived earlier than I need to be. I asked the receptionist about the information.

 

“Are there any plane crash survivors that just got confined here?” I looked at the lady while she was busy with those papers she’s holding. I don’t think she would even bother to look at me, and I don’t think she even heard what I just said. I cleared my throat loudly, for her to know that there’s a human existence in front of her. Finally she looked at me, while lowering her glasses.

 

“You can figure out through these.” She told me frankly and eyed me. She looked at me, eyeing me from head to toe, I met her eye and I cautiously rolled my eyes to her. I think she could be four to seven years older than me.

I looked at the recent log-ins of the hospital as I find the surname of Kim. And there is it my father Kim Joonho and my mother Kim Hyunjoo. In the room 401, 7^th floor.

 

I walked towards the elevator. People were looking at me as I walked through the lobby. I attentively eyed them and I noticed that this hospital has so many different types of people. I mean, this hospital is one of the biggest in Seoul and a lot of patients with different diseases are here.

 

I leaned at the elevator wall and stood absentmindedly as I wait to reach the 6^th floor, besides I was the only one here at the elevator. But not anymore. I fixed my posture as the elevator stopped at the 3^rd floor. It opened and I saw a tall boy, I think about my age but I am not really sure because he is holding a little girl by his side. She was wearing a light pink sleeveless dress and she had a headband placed into her very short and thin black hair. They went inside the elevator, as it closed, I looked away as the little girl turned her eyes on me. I could feel their eyes on me.

 

“Oppa! I want to have a hair like hers.” The little girl turned her body to face me while pointing at my dirty blonde hair that reaches my waistline.

 

“Hi lady, you have a wonderful long hair.” Said the little girl. She reached my wrist and because I was surprised, I immediately removed my wrist off her touch.  I glanced at her, seeing a better view of her, her eyebrows are thin too and she looks kinda sick because she looks a bit pale. Not knowing what to say, I just fixed my hair and just looked straightly in front of me.

 

It took not long enough when the guy talked and faced me. “You could do better than that. You don’t have to be so heartless.” I could sense the guy getting irritated but he covered it with the calmness of his voice. I couldn’t see his face well because he is wearing a cap.

“What? I-“ I was about to give a remark when I heard the beep of the elevator, reaching the 6^th floor.

I rolled my eyes at him. “Whatever.” And I exited the elevator.

 

They don’t have to state loudly that I am heartless, I wasn’t even able to say something. I know that well enough but they don’t have the right to say it in front of me, without even knowing who the I am.

 

I turned in a hallway to find the room 401, and there I think I see my sister standing in front of the room. She is talking to a doctor. I walked across the hallway, as I reached my sister, there I saw room 401. The doctor excused himself and my sister faced me. I raised my eyebrows at her, gesturing her to tell me what happened.

 

“There in coma, their body is near to a critical condition, some bones broke and the most bad news, their brain are affected.” My sister blatantly explained to me. I don’t know everything about these things and I couldn’t do anything but nod.

 

“So what is going to happen now?” I leaned back at the wall beside the door of room 401. My sister sat at the hospital bench and looked at me.

 

“They need to be watched, because not all times a nurse is beside them.” She stated, almost like delivering me a sign of something.

“I wish you could find a good person to keep an eye on them.” I sighed heavily while I examine my fingernails. I don’t want to show some expression of pain or something to someone so I keep myself occupied by doing something else and by not looking at them.

 

“That’s why you are going to keep an eye on them.” I almost choked when my sister blurted that out. I looked at her as if she is saying something unbelievable.

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I think I outraged that I can’t believe she is going to let me be here in this repulsive place. No offense but this place seriously doesn’t suit me. Especially not even the tiniest bit I am familiar of places like this.

 

“And who’s going to look after them?” I bet I have just started to test my sister’s temper, but that is not important here right now.

 

“I don’t know? You?” I almost spit my words to her and I don’t even know what I’m saying right now. She let out a frustrated groan of annoyance and stood up.

 

“It’s time to grow up Chaewon! You are so oblivious of your surroundings! Time has to come and you will see yourself that you wouldn’t know what to do with your pointless life and you would be all alone. Fix yourself Chaewon, I have already changed, I don’t know about you. I can’t take care of them right now Chaewon, I’m about to finish college and I need to focus.” She almost growled at me saying those things while pointing at me. What the hell are the things she first said has to do with this situation?

 

“But-“ I was about to say something but she had already turned her back at me and walked away. I stomped my feet on the ground, knowing that I have no more choices. I’m childish, I know.

 

Wow, what a great way to spend my time before I get to college. I guess I have to spend my summer here for I don’t know how long. ing great.