(Is this how freedom smells like….)

 “Oppa…”

His mind flashes back to the other filming session, the Q and A session. The members jokingly asked if they have ever felt anything for each other, ever, during the 6 years. He answered yes, but she just laughed. And it bugged him ever since. What are they?  Are they really nothing apart from being the Monday couple? Nothing but comrades? Nothing but friends?

Do friends call each other up every other night just to hear each other’s voice?

Do friends meet up on special occasions just because ‘they have nothing better to do’?

Do friends agree to go out in the middle of the night because the other ‘can’t sleep’?

He was the one who taught her to put up an armour to protect herself, but now he’s finding it hard to see through it. 

“Never mind,” he sighed. “Pretend that I never asked.” Then he turned to walk away.

“Where are you going?” she asked, standing up.

“Out.”

“But we aren’t done yet. It’s your turn now, oppa,” she said. Her voice pleading. Gary always turns back if she uses that voice. She knows. She always knew. Gary was always there for her and will always be, as long as she asked.

He stood by the door, as if hesitating. Then he replied, “It doesn’t matter. It never mattered anyway.”

And he didn’t turn. He knew that if he turned, he wouldn’t be able to walk away.

Jihyo stood in the van, stunned. She willed herself not to cry, but can’t help a tear from falling anyway. She knows what Gary was upset about. They had been together too long for her not to know. Plus, he’s as open as a book in her presence. And only her presence. He had let her into the armour that he had built for himself; he let her into his deepest fears and worries; he let her sees his truest self. But she had never done the same for him.

She decided not to go out yet. She just stayed in the van and pretended to sleep. What she does best- running away.

In the end, she did fall asleep.

It was Kwang Soo who came to wake her.

“Noona! I can’t believe you are sleeping here?!”

“Eo….” She rubbed her eyes, confused for a moment. What happened…? Ah… Gary! Was it a dream? She shook her head. No, it was real.

“Everyone’s waiting for you,” Kwang Soo repeated, guessing that she didn’t hear it the first time.

“Eo…”

They went down and gathered by the campfire. Jihyo watched Gary quietly, he seemed unaffected by whatever that happened inside. It pained her heart, but she forced her mind to ignore it as the cameras are still rolling.

Finally, the closing segment was over. She waited for Gary to come and talk to her. He always did. He would come over and ask, “How was the filming?”, “Is your brother coming to pick you up?”, and then he would pat her on the back. Sometimes, if her brother was coming late, he would stay with her, or they would go and eat supper together. Sometimes with the others, sometimes just the two of them.

But he walked away with HaHa, the two still joking around like nothing happened.

A part of her wanted to go up to him. But she didn’t.

Her brother arrived.

“Where’s Gary hyung?” he asked, as if it was a given that he was always with her.

She shrugged.

“He didn’t stay with you?”

“I don’t need him to stay with me,” she snapped, shocking her brother.

“Did you two fight?”

“No.”

He knew to stop when her sister is in a bad mood, so he kept quiet.

“Sorry,” she finally said, when they were in the car. Her brother nodded, a sign that he accepted her apology. He didn’t question her any further.

“Eo, the stamp you asked me to order arrived,” he told her, then reaching out to take a package for her.

The stamp. She remembered.

A couple of weeks ago, after filming, she went out with Gary for supper.

“I watched that programme,” he told her.

“Eo…”

“You made a stamp with him,” he said, then pouted.

She laughed. “Why? Are you jealous?”

“Eo.”

She stuck out her tongue. “Too bad, then.”

He laughed, but she guessed that he was jealous. So she asked her brother to find someone online to make it for them, since she couldn’t do so herself.

It took a while, because it went through several middle-men.

She stared at the parcel for a moment before opening it. It was a dainty wooden piece with the words ‘Mong Gae’ carved on it.

“It’s nice,” she murmured to herself, her fingers playing with the tiny thing.

“Eo, you should have asked him to stay. Then you could have passed it to him.”

She didn’t reply. Her brother glanced over to her but she looked away.

HaHa and Gary went for a drink that night.

“What’s up with you and Jihyo?” HaHa nudged him.

“What?”

“Hyung, don’t think I didn’t see you avoiding her. I just played along.”

Gary remained silent.

“Ok… you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Haha said in the end. This was something he learnt after being Gary’s buddy for so long. He learnt that if anything, Gary was as stubborn as a bull. Except when he was with Jihyo. Jihyo has him completely under control, and sometimes, it makes Haha angry at her for it, for always pushing away Gary, then pulling him back. But it’s not like it’s her fault. His guess is that even Jihyo doesn’t know what she’s doing to Gary. And Gary willingly lets her. Of all the women that he can have, he only wants her.

Jihyo called Gary. He saw his phone light up, but he didn’t pick up. Haha saw tha