Kwon Jiyong -  Seoul, June- 2016

“Yes Noona, I came out from my office just now,” Clutching phone with my right hand, I open my car’s door with another hand. “See you there? But I can fetch you if you want to”

“Okay. I’ll meet you at the usual cafe then. See you then, Noona!”

Just when I got out from parking lot, I meet with the usual traffic of typical evening in Seoul. Sighing, I played the radio, best friend for traffic. I missed the old Seoul where traffic is not this crazy. But then traffic is a part of changes called globalization and technology and revolution. Like it or not, we’re forced into it. Sometimes people are force to grown up and make them fall into one sick cycle called life. Life used to be carefree, only care about what’ll happen at that day. Then thing called grow up happened. Robbed all the innocent and carefree from the kids. Robbed everything from me until I was nothing but a grown up kid with sceptical mind.

Sometimes, I hate fate. When they said there’s always good thing comes after the bad things, I don’t believe that. I mean, why would you felt happiness after bad things that make you miserable? Why it have to be start with bad things? And then again, what’s the good thing from losing someone that means the world to you?

They said there must be a lesson behind it. I get it. I get the lesson. I get the guilt. The remorse, and any terms of guilt that you can find. Then what? No relieved feeling or happiness that comes to me. Nothing. And I left with guilt for the rest of my life.

A buzz from my phone broke my eerie. Peeking at my phone, It’s from Youngbae on our group chat to remind the boys about usual dinner tomorrow. Typical Youngbae. Always the mother hen, keep reminding the kids not to forget the things. Chuckling at the thought, I made an U-turn with the car.

Now, I’m getting weird. One moment I think about life and ready to lash out my anger. Then one moment I chuckling remembering Youngbae, the mother hen and the boys. Maybe I’m getting crazy. Ah, no! I already am. That’s why.

Chuckling again I tried to find a parking spot at the cafe’s parking lot. Fixing my expression into the usual Jiyong, so that Dara won’t ask too much later, I enter the cafe and looking for a seat or maybe Dara.

“Jiyong, here!” Ah, talk about her.

“You always come first, as usual”

“Well, beside the cafe has nice coffee and peace ambience, it’s also located near my office. That’s why I kept choosing it,” Offering her best smile, she looks warm as usual, “However, I haven’t orderi for you”

“Nah, it’s okay. I’ll order first then we talk,” Walking to the counter to order some coffee, I catch a glimpse of strawberry shortcake. It’s my dongsaeng’s favourite, Seunghyunie. Smiling, I decided to order it. For the sake of my fond memory.

.....

Kwon Jiyong and Lee Seunghyun  – Seoul, January 2001

“Aigoo! My dongsaeng is sick,” The 13 years old Jiyong was exaggerate to the sick little-Seunghyun and literally jump into the 11 years old dongsaeng once he gets into the younger man’s room.

 “Hyung please!” Seunghyun rolled his eyes and tried to shove Jiyong off from him. “Did you get it? What I request to you?”

“Get what?”

Annoyed, Seunghyun starting to pouts at his oh-so-oblivious-hyung, “Don’t pretend, hyung!!”

“Seriously Seunghyunnie, what is it?” Jiyong can’t stop grinning to his cute dongsaeng. It won’t hurt to a bit, right? After all, Seunghyun sulking must be one of the cutest thing on earth, or universe, or existence.

“Hyung you forget it! You promise me to bring strawberry shortcake for me!” Seunghyun can’t stop but whining. Tears starting to pooled into his eyes, but he blink it off. What kind of 11 years boy is crying over strawberry shortcake, he’s a big boy! Well, at least that what Seunghyun thought. But he can’t really help it, because he’s really craving for it.

He’s been sick for a few days and when his Jiyong hyung promised him to buy one for him, he really looking up to. He’s only eat soft food and fruit these days, for god sake! He really wants that tasty thing called strawberry shortcake. He really wants to kiss Jiyong that day and today he really wants to kick him.

“OMO? You want short cake? Should I tell your mom? Can you eat it?” and the said lovely hyung is really annoyed Seunghyun.

“Hyung seriously! Stop it!”

“Awww, my dongsaengie please don’t cry. I’m only joking,” Jiyong can’t hold it anymore. As much as he loves to tease his dongsaengs, he can’t stand that too long. He just wants to see the adorable pout, not making his dongsaengs cry.

“You what?” Seunghyun really don’t know which one is the joke, Jiyong wants to tell his mother or Jiyong .

“Hahaha your face, it’s priceless!” Chuckled, Jiyong begin to open his bag and take a small box from his backpack and handle it to his dongsaeng, ”Here I bought it! As your wish, the tastiest strawberry shortcake for Mr. Lee Seunghyun”

Knowing his hyung actually remember his promised, the little tears and pout was forgotten. Seunghyun’s eyes turned big and smile broke into his face, “Really? You remember it hyung?”

“Of course I do! When will I forget?”, said Jiyong while buffing his chest

“Umm. A lot time”, replied Seunghyung while smiling and open the box to see the thing he desired most these past days.

“YAH! You rascal! Be thankful I really bought it.” Desp