There were areas in Jiyong's life that he knew were hard for the people around him - those that wanted to have an intimate relationship with him - to properly understand. It wasn't a matter of where his heart was, a core value, or something that could compromise the relationships he's had or been in. Those things he could understand as a large obstacle to scale when the ideals weren't compatible.

No. It was nothing as simple as that.

It was his inability to stop working once he got started. His demand for perfection was as much on himself as it was on anyone else in his team, whether it was producers, stylists or even his own band. He was driven and it was easy for him to get carried away, often not remembering to eat or sleep properly. Sometimes even forgetting other people's feelings - their need to take a moment to breathe.

His work ethic and grueling schedule had driven away more than a couple of romantic prospects. And just as any artists - leader - his career, music, body of work, came before all else. It was hard for some people to swallow and so, they don't.

His life was a constant grind, it was no secret. He also knew he had a bad habit of putting things to the side, thinking how he'll get to it later.

I'll pick this up later.

I'll call later.

I'll text back later.

I'll send that present later.

But, sometimes, later never came.

Then the anger and the resentment would start seeping in. Me or the music. He had heard that more than a few times and it always hurt that they would even ask. The question was absurd. Because deep down, they must've known what the answer would have been.

The disappointment in their eyes always punctuated a sharp end to what bond they had. It always stung. Sometimes, the sting hurt a little deeper than others, throbbing in his chest for months.

But no matter what, he had his friends and his band mates. The ones who unconditionally understood that his work was his world. There was never an effort made to drag him away from the sound board in the studio. At least, not without good reason.

Often, it was Seungri who would approach him, concern in his features asking, "Have you eaten yet?"

Once in a while, when he was really into the music, he would lie and say that he had. But often - too often - he would say no and a steady hand would slide around his upper arm, pulling him from his seat. They'd go to the cafeteria and the maknae would place a tray piled with food in front of him.

Like a dutiful child, he ate without prompt or protest, feeling warmth spread through his chest whenever he noticed the satisfied smile that graced Seungri's lips. Jiyong would smile back and eat until his plate was empty, thankful that someone was looking out for him.

Even if it took him away from his work, he welcomed the times when Seungri would take care of him.

-

"Wanna go out tonight?" Youngbae asked, not looking up from his phone.

"We've got too much work to do," Jiyong answered, already feeling annoyance bubbling up in the pit of his stomach. He knew the hounding would come soon. They had been working for hours and the others always rallied together eventually, trying to get a moment to let loose, even if it was the most critical of moments in the making of their album.

"Then you stay and we'll go out," Seunghyun's voice was teasing, but the tone set the leader on edge.

Jiyong let out an exasperated sigh, uncertain of whether he wanted to scold the others or simply turn back to work on cutting the pieces together. There was no way the others would drag him away from the computer.

He wouldn't allow it.

-

Jiyong knew he should have followed the others when they all decided to call it a night, but the song was really starting to come together and he didn't want to risk losing the flow he had developed.

The silence in the studio was soothing. The sound of his fingers hitting the keys was almost meditative as he adjusted bits and pieces of the music and vocals, splicing in and cutting out all the details that made the melody meld together.

It could have been minutes or hours, but when he finally looked up he realized it was getting late. His stomach growled and he could almost physically feel his blood sugar levels dropping as he started to really feel his hunger hit him.

As he turned in his chair to look around the room, something caught his eyes. An item in a shiny wrapper was catching the light of the computer screen. Curiously, he picked it up.

It was a granola bar, the one with the chocolate bits that he really liked. A bright green sticky note was on the desk where the item had previously been: Make sure you have something before you leave!

The signature was a sloppy drawing of a panda and Jiyong couldn't help but smile as he tore open the wrapper.

-

Some days the world was just a little too much for Jiyong to handle and all he wanted to do was lie in bed with his head buried under the covers. He put his phone on silent and tried to not think of anything, tried to force the world to recede into nothing as he stared out his window.

Though he wanted to clear his mind, he found the thoughts racing through his skull, a constant stream of words that he couldn't make sense of. He blinked several times, turning onto his side as he pulled his pillow close.

He knew he should get up, but the effort was so much that he couldn't.

His phone was lighting up with texts and missed calls. As day turned to night, the constant stream of messages were the only light in his room. Eventually they stopped, but every hour or so, a persistent text would make his phone shine bright once more.

Reaching out, he grabbed the phone and squinted at the bright screen.

Hyung, have you eaten?

Remember to have a snack, hyung.

I can bring something over if you need it.

Take your time, but remember to take care of yourself.

Are you hungry?

It was then that Jiyong's stomach growled and he felt his cheeks flush as he dismissed each and every message waiting for him.

Seungri had an uncanny way of sending messages when he needed them the most and he was thankful.

Wrapping a blanket tightly around his body, he made his way down to the kitchen, wondering if the chocolate cake he had gotten a couple of days ago was still good.

-

Every once in a while - quite often really - Jiyong would notice the way Seungri looked at him, a ghost of a smile gracing the younger man's features, especially when they were sitting next to each other somewhere. That smile, so shy and unlike the maknae, would appear when their thighs touched or their fingers brushed against one another in the most unexpected of moments.

Perhaps Jiyong even saw Seungri blush, once or twice, maybe more.

Or maybe the light was just playing a trick on his eyes. He couldn't say for sure.

But he did know - without a doubt in his mind - that when his maknae would look at him with those warm eyes and ask if he'd eaten, Jiyong felt an undeniable warmth in the care in Seungri's voice.

-

"You should take a break," Seungri dropped a plastic bag on the desk before leaning against it.

Jiyong didn't even flinch when the contents of the bag it the table top, too focused on putting the final touches on the last song. He knew exactly what he had to do and if he could just get it right before the end of the night, he would call it progress.

"Hyung."

"Shh," the leader's eyes never left the screen, but he could hear the frustrated sigh the younger man gave.

He felt bad, but Seungri should know - had to know - that this was just how things were after all these years. He could hear the crinkling of a wrapper and he frowned, leaning closed to the screen, trying to ignore the noise. It was messing with his concentration.

But the noise continued and with an exasperated sigh, he turned toward the maknae. He had intended to speak, but before the words could come out, he felt something being placed into his mouth, causing him to make a startled noise.

Seungri laughed, placing a hand over his mouth. The leader frowned, his mouth now closed, chewing on whatever it was that the younger man had given him. After a moment, he realized it was a piece of a blueberry muffin.

"Don't do that," Jiyong finally spoke after he swallowed and got himself a sip of water, "What if I choked?"

"I'd save you," Seungri smiled, holding out another piece of muffin.

The leader rolled his eyes and snatched the whole thing from the maknae's hands, leaning back in his seat to eat the muffin himself. The younger man gave a satisfied smile, getting up to sit in the back of the room where he would be out of the way.

"You staying?" Jiyong asked.

"For just a bit."

-

Seungri was asleep on the sofa in the back of the studio by the time Jiyong was done mixing the song. He felt bad that the younger man had stayed so long, waiting for him, and knew he'd have to wake the maknae, especially since that couch was not the best place to sleep.

"Hey," the leader reached out and gave the younger man a gentle shake.

Seungri jolted awake, blinking rapidly as he looked around the room. Jiyong started laughing, unable to stop himself.

The younger man squinted up at him, "Hyung?"

"Get up. It's time to go."

"What time is it?"

"Late."

Seungri nodded, rubbing his eyes, but he didn't move to get up.

"Get up, Seungri."

Instead of doing as he was told, the younger man reached out and grabbed Jiyong's hand, playfully pulling the leader down. The older man gave a yelp of surprise, trying to not land awkwardly as he fell into the maknae, feeling the cushions sink beneath their weight. Seungri was hugging him close, the way he used to hold the maknae when they were younger, "You need to take care of yourself, hyung."

"I do."

"Liar."

Jiyong didn't know what to say to that, so he stayed silent.

"I worry about you," Seungri held him tighter.

"I know," he shifted in the younger man's hold, getting into a more comfortable position so they could face each other.

The maknae smiled, shyly, "I like you, you know?"

Jiyong couldn't help but to smile as well, in that moment, "I know."

"Like, a lot."

"I know."

They laughed then, unable to stop themselves, like two timid school children, their foreheads pressed against each other as they laid together on the uncomfortable sofa, practically falling over the edge.

"Let me take care of you, hyung."

"Okay."