Naeun's gaze is like a sword. She pierces through everything and everyone and bequeaths guilt in their waking. She leaves a piece of shard in their chests, until they bleed of guilt and consumes them towards death. Jinri is sure she has died in many ways so many times in Naeun's head.

 

Even when her back faces her, she feels her eyes on them but she doesn't flinch. Jinri will not let herself be intimidated.

 

She is Choi Jinri after all. Her beauty is incomparable. She is radiant like the sun, flowers rising in her passing. Everywhere she goes, men bow at her feet and leave kisses on the ground she walks. She has nothing that other women do not have.

 

Except her eyes dart to that tiny corner in Sehun's living room, to where he is with her, and Jinri stops deluding herself.

 

"Look at them," Soojung rolls her eyes and downs the last drop of beer in hand. It's probably her third can. She wipes with the back of her hand. "They make me sick."

 

"I never pegged you to care about other people's affair." Jinri smiles, sipping on her drink. It's her fourth can already and she feels more alive than ever. Taemin once told her that drinking alcohol helps you heal but Jinri has strong alcohol tolerance so it has never worked on her.

 

"I never pegged you to just accept her. Like she's our friend." There's more bite in Soojung's words, she adds. "She's not."

 

"That's true." Jinri answers, "but she is Taemin's girlfriend. We have to accept her."

 

"No," Soojung glares, pink dusting her cheeks. Jinri faintly remembers she can't handle her alcohol well. "We don't. I don't like her. I hate her. She stole Taemin from--"

 

"That's enough," cuts Jongin, grabbing Soojung by the wrists. Jinri shakes her head, hiding her smile. As always, Jongin to the rescue, saving Soojung from a night of regret, saving her from the ugly truth. "You're drunk. You need to go home."

 

"Nuh-uh," she insists. "I want to have another one. I want to talk to Jinri more."

 

Jongin flicks Soojung's forehead with his fingers, clucking his tongue. Her reaction is priceless; a horrified look on her face followed by a pout. Jongin ignores it. "Your sister will kill me if you're not home by 3AM, stupid drunk."

 

Jinri watches them fondly, knowing how the two had always shared a special bond. Jongin had been in love with her friend for the longest time, but was always hesitant to act upon his feelings.

 

Soojung pouts at him but lets him drag her anyway. Jinri waves her goodbye, feeling a little bit lonely. She observes the room quietly again, careful to avoid the corner, trying to find another company. No use; everyone's busy with their own little bubble.

 

Jinri heads to the porch instead and sits on the ledge, swinging her dangling legs. The night is chilly, and lonely and this seems to be a bad idea. Jinri remembers a different version of herself, younger, brighter and full of glee with Taemin's arms around her shoulder, sand in between her toes and the ocean in the horizon. Those were better days. days without Naeun.

 

"What are you doing out here?"

 

Jinri turns around and sees Sehun by the door, two beers in hand. He sits beside her, shoulder by shoulder.

 

"It was suffocating inside," Jinri takes the can and downs it to the last drop.

 

"Want me to kick them out?"

 

Jinri wipes her lips and shakes her head, smiling. "Don't be a , Sehun."

 

"Suit yourself." He shrugs, finishing his. He pulls his phone out and swipes here and there, Jinri ignores him, until he offers one of his earbud. She wears one on her left ear and the other goes to his right ear. The song starts slow, and Jinri loses her consciousness to memories from beyond the grave.

 

Taemin used to drink with her-- he'd make all these weird drinking mixes and even though it was gross, she would drink it all up and they would get drunk (well, he would) and pass out and puke all over taxicabs (it happened twice already). She used to wipe all the puke from his mouth but he would attempt to kiss her all the time (unsuccessfully--she would shove his face away just in time). Jinri misses those days when they fooled around (because that's what they were both good at.)

 

Jinri misses Taemin.

 

"Jesus, Jinri the crybaby left already. Why are you here to replace Soojung?"

 

Jinri laughs midst her tears and she shoves Sehun away playfully. "Soojung is a real cutie, don't drag her."

 

"She's a baby--that's what she is." Sehun changes the music and nudges her with his elbow. He looks at her sternly but she knows he's worried. "Are you okay now?"

 

Jinri smiles and lies. "Never better."