Forever. That is what he had said, that was the word that he breathed out against Kyungsoo’s lips after their first kiss. That was the promise that Jongin had made to him. The thing is it turns out that promises are so temporary, so fragile and forever is an impossible promise to keep.

Kyungsoo blames himself, he should have known better. In art red can be used to symbolise passion, uality but it can also be used to symbolise danger or a warning. Kyungsoo knew this. So how could he be so blind as to ignore all of the red flags?

The lies, the issues would all be forgotten with scribbled declarations of love or honeyed words spoken softly against Kyungsoo’s ear. He was angry but not with Jongin, with himself. How could he allow this to happen to himself? How was it so obvious all along yet he remained so oblivious the entire time?

Kyungsoo got caught up in the thrill, the illusion of passion that sneaking around invoked. He believed it was romantic initially to keep their rendezvous secret but now he knows it was only to maintain a façade. A fallacy of who Jongin really was. The false pretences he so easily had everyone believe.

Kyungsoo had his guard down from the start. Of all the people to do something like this to him, make him feel this way his long time best friend was the last he would have expected. But then again what does Kyungsoo know? Evidently nothing.

The touches still linger on Kyungsoo’s skin and he wonders if Jongin feels them too. The hidden touches under tables. The warmth that their touching skin provided. Jongin’s rising chest under Kyungsoo’s head. Kyungsoo felt his skin itching at the memories and had a desire to rip the layers off and start afresh.

Over the chaotic noise Kyungsoo still hears the whispered words, the broken promises, the lies of loving confessions. They echo throughout the air and reverberate through Kyungsoo’s body sending a tingling sensation up his spine and a crushing one to his chest.

Kyungsoo’s mouth is alive with the salty taste of Jongin’s lips against his. His tongue wrestling with his own. His flavours were once familiar and comforting but now sickly and poisonous.

He could smell Jongin. His musky aftershave. His natural scent. The aroma of Kyungsoo’s bedroom after he had given himself completely to his best friend, his love, for the first and apparently last time.

And Kyungsoo could see him. Across the room with his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. After almost a week of not seeing his tanned skin, his dark eyes, his dazzling smile he was right in front of him. “They’re dating now, didn’t he tell you?” Chanyeol had asked seeing the confused expression of Kyungsoo’s face. But, he didn’t know. He didn’t know of the secret they held and he didn’t know of the shattering in Kyungsoo’s heart.

Kyungsoo did his best to hold himself together. He smiled a forced smile and went to get something drink. In honesty the only thing he wanted was to get far, far away. Whether that was leaving by the front door or by tectonic plates separating to allow Kyungsoo’s descent into the Earths fiery core.

A plethora of different emotions embraced Kyungsoo; anger, sadness, embarrassment, being the most prevalent. And as the alcohol burned it’s way down his throat these emotions got harder to suppress. His anger continued to rise as he saw Baekhyun and Chanyeol engaged in an intense match of tonsil tennis. His sadness grew at the sight of an ignored Junmyeon but Kyungsoo took comfort in the knowledge that he wasn’t the only one having a horrid time. And his embarrassment multiplied when he overheard Jongin confirm to someone that he had been in a relationship for months now.

Now Kyungsoo felt cheap. He gave himself away. Experienced what he believed was making love for the first time with someone who had been in a relationship the entire time and he didn’t even respect his “best friend” enough to tell him. But then why would he? If he had he would never have claimed Kyungsoo’s body and that’s all he wanted clearly.

The itching in Kyungsoo’s skin grew more intense and he felt dirty. He felt unwanted. He felt like an idiot. He cursed Minseok for ever dragging him out to this party. Minseok noticed that something had been wrong with Kyungsoo the past week and attempted to cheer him up but having him attend his little gathering. Kyungsoo wondered how Min would feel if he knew that his actions only resulted in him feeling worse.

Kyungsoo escaped the kitchen and found his way into the hallway when Jongin’s voice grew closer. Kyungsoo didn’t want to reward him the satisfaction of seeing him like this. He was ing pathetic. He was doing his best not to cry over a guy who made it apparent that he never really cared for him in the first place.

The hallway was littered with articles of clothing, the sounds of lovers engaging in each others desires and that was the straw that broke the camels back. Kyungsoo ran forward into the unoccupied bathroom slamming the door shut and finally granted himself the release of his emotions he had been suppressing so desperately.

The hot tears burnt his cheeks as they fell and his throat aches as the sobs ripped their way out. His lungs felt like they were full yet so empty at the same time and Kyungsoo is certain he felt the crack in his heart burst open as he let everything he had been bottling in so tightly have freedom.

It was only when he heard a cough behind him as someone cleared their throat that Kyungsoo realised he had never locked the door. He lifted his head to see who it was, even though he knew he must have looked as big a mess as he felt and he was positive that some higher being had it out for him when he locks eyes with Jongin.

Surprisingly Jongin didn’t look smug or happy he looked as broken as Kyungsoo when he had saw how his actions had affected his best friend, his lover.

A/N:

Fixed some of the grammatical mistakes, sorry I forgot to proofread (forgot? when do I ever?)