Everytime I close my eyes, I could hear the sound of the waves, crashing against the sandy beaches of the tropical island. I still remember clearly that day. The day I lost everything. The day where it was supposed to be the best of days and instead, it becomes my worst nightmare. I still woke up crying, sweating, screaming for his name but I know, he won’t answer me. He’s too far to hear me.

It was on our honeymoon, a few days after we made our vows to love each other til the end of our lives and let’s be honest here, I still love him.

The airplane lands on Hawaii, a paradise for tourists to enjoy the big waves and sun bathing on the white sandy beach. A tropical heaven for people all around the world and of course, a common sights of lovey-dovey couples spending their time here for their honeymoon, and Junhoe and Jinhwan was one of the paired couple.

“June, look! The flowers are so pretty!” Jinhwan squealed in an incredibly high-pitched tone that might seem annoying but not for the taller latter, as he received the necklace made of tropical flowers from the locals. It was always his dream to visit Hawaii and it had been better with the tall company beside him.

“Yes, they are but you’re prettier” Junhoe smiled as he pinched Jinhwan’s cheeks making the older blush.

“You’re so cheesy” the small man said, heading towards the luggage section to grab his and his husband’s luggage.

“But it’s true though. Want me to ask those people?” Junhoe said, pointing towards another couple who looks Asian enough like them. Probably from Korea too. Jinhwan doesn’t even had the chance to stop his husband from approaching the two fine men and he just watch the giant with a really embarrassed looked, talking to them in… Korean?

“Hyung! They’re from Korea too!” Junhoe screamed making Jinhwan’s face flushed like a red tomato as he approaches them rather slowly.

“Let me introduce to both of you my sweet, adorable husband, Koo Jinhwan” Junhoe said with a broad smile as he wrapped his arms around Jinhwan’s waist. Jinhwan simply nod to them and smiled.

“Hi there Jinhwan! It’s a pleasure to meet you. The name is Kim Jiwon and this is my husband, Kim Hanbin, and as for the same reason, we’re also here for our honeymoon” the man with small eyes and a bunny smile greets him and offered a hand to shake.

After a few minutes of ‘get to know each other’ session, Junhoe suddenly blurts out a question that really makes Jinhwan’s ears red.

“Don’t you guys think that my husband is pretty?”

“What the- June-ah! You’re still about that?!” the petite boy screamed hiding his face behind both of his hands.

“Hyung~ you know you’re the prettiest so stop hiding your face” Junhoe said in a rather high voice making him sound a bit childish with a hint of iness as he tried to grab hold on Jinhwan’s hands, revealing the redden face.

“You guys are really cute! Like what they say, a match made from heaven?” Hanbin said in a sarcastic tone but of course he’s sincere for every word he said.

They continued their chatter and later on bid their goodbyes as they left in separate ways. Well, that’s what they thought at first until they met each other again in the hotel with rooms’ right next to each other.

They were more than happy to see each other again. At least, there’s other company beside their husbands. (this turn out wrong but whatever)

~*~

After unpacking their things and a quick shower, Junhoe and Jinhwan cuddles on the soft mattress, sharing each other’s warmth. They laid there for hours with a really comfortable silence… well that’s until one of them starts to snore.

“June?”

“zzzJinhwanhyungzzzzthatfeelsgoodzzznottoofastzzz”

“Yah! June-ah!” Jinhwan screamed with his face red and a really uncomfortable thigh because something is poking it. And of course that scream woke Junhoe up from his erted dreamland.

“Wh-what? What happened?” He asked drowsily at a blushing Jinhwan who’s now standing at the side of the bed hugging a pillow. Jinhwan glares intensely at Junhoe and before Junhoe could say anything, a pillow landed quite hard on his face.

“What was that for?!” a now confused and slightly angry for not knowing the reason he was treated this way.

“Shut up you ert” Jinhwan said in husky tone, slow enough for the taller man to hear.

“Wha- oh…” he finally understood when glances between his thighs.

“Oh come on hyung! We’re already married! Can’t we have a little fun?” Jinhwan snorts at the younger’s last sentence as he walks towards the cupboard, grabbing a fine set of suit and toss them towards Junhoe.

“We’re gonna be late for dinner” Jinhwan commented as he took his own suit and starts to strip himself in a rather teasing way. He stopped midway when a pair of hands wrapped around his waist.

“We could have fun for a while” Junhoe whispered in Jinhwan’s right ear as he plants a kiss on Jinhwan’s temple.

Well that received a knock on the head with a hangar.

“No, Hanbin and Jiwon are probably waiting for us already and besides…” Jinhwan turns his body facing a Junhoe, and landed a peck on his pouting lips. “Save the main event for tonight” Jinhwan said in a really, really arousing tone that of course didn’t help with Junhoe’s ual desires.

~*~

Junhoe and Jinhwan waited for the other couple at the dining table for like 30 minutes until they show up with a face… let’s just say we all know what they did for the past half an hour.

“Sorry guys we’re late, we have somethings to do” Jiwon smirked at his husband’s words.

“And I’m here feeling ually frustrated because my husband doesn’t want to be late for dinner” Junhoe said sarcastically, earning a kick under the table by none other than Jinhwan, the ‘save the main event for tonight’ guy.

“Umm, let’s just eat” Jiwon commented and so, the buffet starts.

Dinner went well for both couples as they talked about their relationships and let’s not forget the embarrassing events during their relationship since they met til now. Giggles and laughters filled the dining hall and this blooms the start of a beautiful friendship.

~*~

The night was continued with a walk by the beach, enjoying the cold night breeze with intertwined fingers.

“June-ah, wanna go for surfing tomorrow?” Jinhwan asked in a cute manner but the devilish smirk on his lips might confuse people a little.

“You know I don’t know how to swim and of course I can’t surf as well” Junhoe pouts.

“What kind of man doesn’t know how to swim?”

“A man like me”

“You’re so weak June-ah, every man needs to know how to swim!” that comment stings a little.

“Oh, I’m so gonna show how strong I am tonight!” Junhoe lifts Jinhwan bridal style and starts spinning him around making both of them dizzy before falling on the soft sand. They both giggled as they stare at the stars that night. Jinhwan’s arms naturally hugged Junhoe from the side and well, Junhoe’s arms did too.

“So, you’re gonna show me how strong you are?” Jinhwan turned his head facing Junhoe.

“You are so gonna be surprised” Junhoe stated with a smirk as the tip of their noses touches. They started with a simple peck on the lips until a tongue fight starts, causing the sound of moans and kisses fills the air.

“Oh God! Come on! Get a room the both of you!” the sound of Jiwon’s screams breaks their kiss as they laughed to each other, mentally face-palming themselves for forgetting the other couple who tagged along, enjoying the ‘scene’.

“Let’s continue in the room?” Junhoe said as he stood up before reaching his hand to help the small man on his feet.

“Yeah, sure” Jinhwan replied with a grin that we all know what that means.

~skipping the ~

“Surprised enough?” Junhoe asked as he pants heavily, tired from all those ing. Jinhwan smiled as he connects their lips together for a while, before putting his head on the latter’s bare chest. They were completely exhausted and Jinhwan’s lower body aches a little.

“Umm June-yah”

“Yes, hyung”

“… you know, Jiwon called Hanbin… Binnie”

“Yeah” a long silence past before Junhoe realised something was wrong.

“What’s wrong?”

“..err… nothing. You know let’s forget about it”

“Oh come on hyung, you can’t just leave me hanging”

“It’s nothing serious June. Just… go to sleep” Jinhwan said hesitantly as he lifts his head and laid a bit further from Junhoe making the younger confused before finally getting the idea.

“You want me to give you nicknames, isn’t that baby?” Jinhwan shivers at the last word. It’s a mixture of nice and awkward but he likes the new feeling. Making his heart race thrice fold.

“You’re the big baby, June-yah” Jinhwan said as he smirks at the taller man who’s closing the distance between them. He pecks Junhoe’s cheeks before wrapping his arms around the body with his head on one of Junhoe’s arms.

They continued with that positon, with Jinhwan hugging the larger body than his and Junhoe playing the dark brown hair of his lover. To be honest, this is the moment they enjoyed the most. A comfortable silence wraps them both with happy memories and of course the event that just happened. Slowly Jinhwan started to drift into dreamland, leaving Junhoe who’s still wide awake.

He can’t sleep. He doesn’t know why but he had this uneasy feeling since he had board the airplane to Hawaii. Somewhere deep inside his heart, something just doesn’t feel right.

Junhoe looked onto his side, watching the small figure sleeping peacefully. He smiled and thought, nothing would go wrong as long as he’s here with him. He nuzzles his nose into the brunette before falling asleep hoping for a good dream and instead of a sweet dream, it turns out to be a nightmare. A nightmare that is full of the same questions that haunts him til morning.

What if he won’t be there the next time?

~*~

It was still early in the morning, and the sun had just reveals a bit of its light making the ocean glows in a bright red mixed with a bit of orange. The two couples are already by the beach playing with the water except for Junhoe whom insist on not getting wet even after constant pleadings by his husband.

Jinhwan who is still not happy with his husband’s decision, makes a plan with Jiwon and Hanbin, well of course to get him into the water. So they acted like they’re exhausted and went up the beach to meet Junhoe who’s intensely reading a book underneath a beach umbrella.

They crept behind him slowly before Jinhwan signals on the count to three with his fingers. When his finger finally counts three, the three of them charge the unsuspecting prey who startled a bit when he was carried by the three, heading towards the water.

“No, no, please!” Junhoe begged as he struggles to break free but those three guys really had a strong hold even after all those thrashing.

With a loud splash, there goes Junhoe in the water and the event after that, really caught the three of them especially Jinhwan off guard.

“Help!”

“Help!”

“I’m drowning!”

Jinhwan simply stares at Junhoe in disbelief. This tall guy is struggling for help under a knee-level water?

“Yah, seriously?” Junhoe upon realising the situation, covers his face and starts to drown himself, probably ashamed because of the number of people staring at him.

“I can teach you how to swim if you like to” Jiwon offers to Junhoe who looked at him with a really pitiful look.

So Jiwon wasted his time teaching Junhoe how to swim and it turns out that he learns pretty quickly. By 15 minutes, he’s already in deep water, floating. It’s really amazing how Junhoe could learn to swim in a really fast pace, making Jinhwan proud and impressed.

The four of them starts swimming to more deeper regions and it turns out Junhoe really is a good swimmer, except that he’s a bit slow. If only he’d learn to swim when he was younger, he would probably join the Olympics by now.

They continue to swim, along with Jinhwan and Hanbin, to deeper regions, quite further from the beach when suddenly Jiwon blurts out something he would regret.

“The last one to reach the beach will have to buy coconut shakes for all of us!”

All four of them started swimming with all of their energy towards the shore. With huffs and puffs, Jiwon and Hanbin arrived at almost the same time. When they realised this, they started hugging each other and turned their heads towards the ocean.

And what they saw is horror.

The sea was red but not because of the sun, it was dyed with blood. The screaming for help was loud and clear as they saw two figures struggling in the water, fighting off a probably hungry predator.

“Shark!” A woman screamed from the beach, people whom are in the water, quickly ran to dryland and life guards started to swim their way towards Junhoe and Jinhwan. Hanbin fell on his knees with his eyes still locked on his friends as tears threatening to escape. Jiwon however, tried to get back in the water but was held back by Hanbin who is clearly scared.

“Don’t go”

“We need to save them!”

“The shark is still there!”

“They’re our friends!”

“You’re my husband, a-and I don’t want to lose you” Hanbin finally breaks as tears stream down his cheeks. He felt bad for being selfish but he couldn’t afford to lose Jiwon. He just couldn’t. So they stayed there, watching as the life guards starts to carry two bodies with them and hoped that their friends are still breathing.

What met them multiplies the amount of horror inside them. Jinhwan had passed out with a lot of blood coming out from a place that was supposed to be his left arm but it’s missing. They could see the flesh as the life guards starts to rinse it, earning a painful groan from Jinhwan as he woke up.

Jinhwan screamed for Junhoe and lets out sigh of relief as he saw tall man beside him and quickly intertwined his right hand with Junhoe’s making the taller man opened his eyes. The younger man suffers a deep cut on his right leg, revealing his tendons and flesh. Junhoe turns his head towards Jinhwan and a tear escapes his eye as he smiled. He was glad to see Jinhwan still alive even with all the blood.

I thought that he’s alright because I thought I was the only who had been attacked but I was clearly wrong. While holding my hand, I love you escapes his mouth. His eyes are teary and I know that something is wrong when I felt the hold on my hand weakens. I screamed for his name but slowly he closes his eyes and I felt no more pressure on my hand.

The memory of the past event is still clear in my head. I remember how something just crunched on one of my limbs when I followed them towards the shore. The pain stings as I struggle to lose its grip but it’s teeth sunk deeper into my flesh. It thrashes me around, with constant screaming, salt water enters my lungs and I thought I was done for.

I decided that it’s time to go as I felt every essence of life, threatening to be released from my body. I close my eyes, giving up to fate until everything turns dark.

I woke up due to a sharp pain on one of my limbs and I was staring at sky. I turn my head and never felt happier than before, he was there beside me, holding my hand with his last bit of energy. But those sense of happiness, slowly fades as I saw his eyes. From his eyes I can tell. He’s about to go.

The day when he was buried, it was raining. Very cliché as if the rain are mother nature’s tears of regrets for killing him. And I was there, crying my heart out beside his grave, getting drenched by my own tears and the sky’s.

Sometimes, I blame myself for everything that happened because I know, partially it was my fault. Apparently, the reason the shark attacked because of my loss of control for my urinal bladder. You might find this hilarious but try to get in my own shoes. Try listening to that man wearing white, explaining that sharks are somehow attracted to the smell of urine.

We just got married, we were just enjoying our honeymoon, we were just swimming in the sea like every newlyweds do. But from all those possibilities, why must it be our little group? Why must it be us? Why must it be him? Why it wasn’t me? Whyasljhldajhfualasj;lda

“What the – “

“Are you writing about my ‘death’ again?” Jinhwan stares at Junhoe with a really intimidating look. And Junhoe knows he can’t fight him, especially when he’s on a wheelchair… forever.

“Seriously, June-yah. I know you’re a really good writer but there could be any other stories you could tell. Or maybe change the story about our happy honeymoon excluding the accident part. You’re a genius in writing stories, I know you can make something” Jinhwan said as he wraps his arm around Junhoe’s body. Yes, arm, no arms, just one arm. Due to the accident on their sweet vacation, Jinhwan had lost his left arm while Junhoe lost his right leg. Even though still intact, the doctor said something about nerves and muscles that makes him unable to move his right leg and sometimes affecting the other therefore granting him a wheelchair as a special present before leaving Hawaii.

“Sorry hyung, I just can’t get it out of my head. It keeps haunting me” said the tall man as he gave his husband a quick peck on the lips before Jinhwan ushered him towards their shared bed.

“Maybe all you need is rest” the small man said as he lays himself on the soft mattress, smiling at Junhoe with a deep meaning.

“I love you baby”

From the cracks at the door, two pair of eyes are watching him.

“You think he’s okay?”

“I guess so, he’s trying to move on I guess”

“It must’ve been painful for him”

“Yeah, do you think he’s there?”

“What do you mean?”

“Jinhwan” Jiwon sighs softly before giving Hanbin a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, he’s there. In Junhoe’s heart. Forever”

They continued to watch over the boy on the bed, sleeping. Sometimes, his hand would jerk to his side in attempt to find someone that was supposed to be there, but we all know he’s alone.

Inspired by I’m Alive TV Programme on channel Animal Planet.

Sorry for killing again. And its always Jinhwan zzz 

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