"so did you two kiss?" 

"ew gross, sehun we did not kiss." 

"wHY NOT? are you perhaps..." he gasps lightly thru the phone receiver "hetero"

tao doesn't have time to indulge in sehuns idiocy so he hangs up before the other can figure out that yes he wanted to kris, right on the damn lips no less, bUT he had to withhold himself. there were still pressing matters at hand.

"ok xiongmao," he exhales, ripping the stuffed bear's head off in one fell swipe. "the real reason you were so important."

as the panda bear's guts begin to pour out in white cottony chuncks, tao digs his hand deep within the cavity of it's body, pulling out a tiny micro chip he had implanted months ago. "jesus, if kris found this he'd think i was insane."

then again, tao is pretty bat crazy. 

he inserts the chip into his computer, booting up the new hardware and resetting his computer before logging into tumblr dot com. 

immediately, he types in @chanyeolo's url and reports the hell out of his using 50 different incognito profiles located on the micro chip.

"this'll teach that elf to post selfies of him and kris."