She opens the window to her soul.

This isn’t happening.

My eyes widen.

My heart stops.

My mind blanks out.

I freeze.

She caresses the back of my left hand with both her hands. “Sica ya,” she says.

“M-mm?”

Then she says, “Sooyeon ah.”

Is she proposing?

But she sounds too melancholic for my liking.

Now she looks at me.

“Let’s break up.”

My eyes grow out of their socket, my heart drops, my mind blacks out, my whole world crashes. Everything at this moment seems to move in slow motion, and nothing else produces a sound that is louder than the words that is coming out of . Among all the phrases that exist in the whole wide universe, she’s choosing that one.

“What?” I finally croak.

“Let’s break up, Sica ya,” she says again, confirming my doubts.

But no matter how many times I hear her say it, how many times she repeats herself, my ears block them, my mind won’t process them. My being refuses to believe in them.

Let’s break up.

Let’s break up?

“W-what do you mean, Taeyeon?” My eyes brimmed with tears, my lips are dry and my hands are trembling.

Calmly, resolutely, she repeats. “Let’s break up.”

On the last note, my ears let them pass, my mind processes, my being forced to accept.

Those eyes. Those lips. Those mouth.  The same person, with the same pair of eyes, saying those 3 words, the 3 words I don’t want to listen to, the 3 words I never imagined hearing from the same mouth which said I love you like a mantra to live by, the same mouth which promised forever like it’s the most natural thing to do, and those lips that used to kiss me everywhere and whenever it hurts.

Taeyeon stands up and leans in closer. I stay there frozen.

“I’m sorry.” Kissing me on the forehead as her last remembrance. It hurts. It used to be healing, but her kiss hurts right to the core of my body. It tingles no longer with joy or warmth. It tingles with pain.

Her lips linger there, her hands securing my sides, and I keep crying and crying. But then I hear a small laugh which grows to a stomach-clutching laugh. Her cold warmth is gone. I open my eyes, there she is – grabbing her stomach, both of her eyes closed shut, pointing at me and laughing, like someone cracked the joke of the century.

After a few minutes, I am still in a daze and her laughter reduced to short breaths, and tears drying on her cheeks and just below the chin.

“I’m sorry, Sica ya. But I really just had to play that one last card.” Sitting next to me, draping her arms around me like none of before happened, she kisses my cheek and notices that I haven’t stop crying.

“Babe?” Taeyeon repositions herself towards me and cups my cheek with her cold hand.

I couldn’t look at her. I am afraid.

“Sooyeon ah, I’m sorry. It was all a joke. I’m not breaking up with you. Not now, not ever. Forever, remember?”

Her kisses start from the forehead, to the eye, the tip of my runny nose, the left cheek, the chin, the corner of my lips, and just before she continues, Taeyeon looks up and I look at her, Taeyeon looks up and she is sorry, I look at her and I see her regret, she says, “Can – ” but before she could ask, I kiss her first. I am desperate. I need her, I can’t imagine a life without her. Jung Sooyeon without Kim Taeyeon is not how I pictured my life. Kim Taeyeon has always been in my future plans. Always.

I break the kiss and I can feel she wants more. And I slap her for that.

“W-what?” she questions, puzzled.

I roll my eyes at my stupidest girlfriend. “What? What???! Yah! You think you’re funny now, huh? Playing a joke like that? You think you’re so great now uh?! Aishh Kim Tae – ”

“Arasso arasso. I said I’m sorry! Okay?” She cuts me.

“Sorry?” I scoff. “Like sorry is gonna make what I felt just a minute ago when you said you wanted a break up, when my whole ing world shattered, go away?!”

Without even me realizing it, more tears roll down my cheeks. Taeyeon leans in and hugs me and I don’t pull away. “Jessica I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She says, like the other mantra.

“I can’t live without you, T-Taeyeon. I can’t even imagine how life would be like without any pieces of you in it. I’m not ready for that. I-I don’t even like the idea of alone anymore. So p-please d-don’t leave me, mm?” I’m wetting her shoulders but she doesn’t care.

Instead, she hugs me tighter and whispers, “Sica ya, I didn’t know. I was an idiot, okay? And maybe I still am.” She pulls away, looks me in the eyes. “So will you forgive this huge idiot, and marry her?” Taeyeon gets into one knee, popping out a small diamond ring which is perfect to my eyes. Taking my hand, and with sincerity, she repeats, “Jessica Jung Sooyeon, will you marry me?”

My answer is: Who wouldn’t want to marry The Almighty Kim Taeyeon?

For a long time, finally, a non-angst fan fiction from me!!! Yeay!!! I think it was okay? LOL A new challenge so yeah~