7.8k words

Sehun went home straight after his filming ended. His original plan for tonight was to sleep in a hotel nearby since they were filming at a location that was 3 hours away from their dorm. But Sehun had plea his manager to bring him back to the dorm. Throughout the journey, all he can think of was his leader who Luhan had said to be in a not-so-good condition. During his filming break, he got a call from the older.

“Sehun, I’m worried. Can you please check on Suho? I don’t think he is in a good condition…”

Sehun furrowed his eyebrows together, confused “But I’m in the middle of filming, hyung. I don’t think I can go home now. Why though?”

“Uhm…just call anyone at dorm to check on him. Sehun, please just do as I say.” Luhan pleaded the younger. Sehun was still confused, but the anxiousness in Luhan’s tone was affecting him too. “Is he sick? Wait, how come you’re the one telling me this? Did he call you?”

“Yeah…..He did…”

“And……?”

Luhan said nothing for a brief moment until he finally sighed on the line.“He was crying…”

His soul almost left his body when he heard that Suho was crying. And not just to anyone, to Luhan. “Did you just say he was crying??!”

“But Sehun…that’s not all. He called me, asking for Yifan’s number. And when I refused he… starts to cry and it sounded so painful --dear God, are you sure he is okay? Lately?”

“……” Sehun was silent, his jaw almost dropped to the ground as he sank in what the latter had told him. What was it that had Suho to search for Yifan? A year ago, Suho would have flinched whenever anyone mentioned Yifan.

“Sehun..?”

“I’ll check on him tonight. Thank you, hyung for telling me.”

“I thought I have to. You’re the closest to understanding him. Take care of him, okay?”

“Will always.”

He couldn’t think of it. He couldn’t think of any reason why would Suho call Kris. All these years, he had always pretended that Kris didn’t exist. When the lawsuit first revealed, members were prohibited to talk to Kris. Some of their phones were even confiscated by their managers and they were forced to unfollow him on Instagram.

However, the situation became less strict when Luhan left. Maybe it was the fact that Luhan left in a less troubled way, but still it hurts nonetheless. At later points, the managers and management allowed them to keep in touch with the past members. Everyone had mixed feeling about their new given freedom. It was a decision whether should they contact Kris or not?

The members knew that Kris had been trying to reach them back then but their management had cut off any possibilities to interact with him. Since they were given freedom now, should they contact him? The EXO-M members quickly contacted Kris despite having a little anger towards him, but their bonds are stronger and eventually, Kris was okay with everyone.

Except…with Suho….

Sehun knew that Suho had never forgiven Kris. Not even one bit. He refused to join the members whenever they talked about Kris. Some members like Kyungsoo and Chanyeol didn’t talk to Kris either, but they all know that both of them didn’t mind or hold grudges anymore. As for Suho, that’s a different story.

He sees the sadness in Suho’s eyes every time the name ‘Kris’ was mention even though he was trying to smile. For a few months, Kris was trying to be in Suho’s good side, Sehun saw the endless calls on Suho’s phone. Even the members had tried to coax Suho into stop holding onto the past but it was all in deaf ears for Suho.

Suho had said he didn’t mind that everyone is in good terms with Kris. But, he will not be in such terms, to what reason Sehun honestly does not know. No one really pressed further anyway.

When he reached his dorm, he sprinted up to his room as fast as lightning. He had tried to call Kyungsoo to check on him, but the latter didn’t pick up his phone, as well as the other members. Some went out and some were sleeping he assumed.

The moment he twisted the door knob open, he spotted Suho who was lying on the ground beside their bed. His heart broke into million pieces when the image of Suho came into his view. The older slept in a curled position and as he neared, he can see the tear stains on his cheeks. Slowly bringing his hand to the leader’s cheek, he softly caressed the rosy pink skin and sighed. Suho must have held in his frustrations and depressions. Why can’t Suho just share some of his problems with him instead? Sehun is always there to listen, why can’t Suho trust him? Instead…why did he go to Kris? It still doesn’t make any sense.

Carefully, he s his arms under Suho’s sleeping body and lifted him up on their shared bed. Suho shifted a little in his sleep as Sehun tucked his blanket until it covers most of Suho’s body.

Should I ask him tomorrow? I should but……what if hyung doesn’t want me too?

Somewhere in China, a tall male with a black hair had been feeling restless. Why? Because he just had the shock of his life. He didn’t think that Suho would contact him. In fact, he thought it was nearly impossible for such occurrence. What made him angry was that the audacity Suho had to ask him for comfort. What kind of bull is that?

For a man who had been avoiding him like a plague for months, he sure did have some guts. Who gave Suho his number anyway? Was it Luhan? But every EXO members have his number. Except for Suho, since the younger had blocked him. Still, he felt like Suho was the most egoistic and hypocritical person that had walk on earth.

His train of thought was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing.

Luhan.

“Hello?”

“Oh thank God you answer!” Luhan groaned on the line. Kris glanced at the time on his phone and it’s already 3 in the morning. Why would Luhan call him at this hour? “What’s up?”

“I know it’s late but I was just wondering if Suho had called you. Did he?” As soon as he hears the question, his annoyance was growing again in him. So it was Luhan who gave Suho his number, he deadpanned.

 “Why the hell would you give him my number? Didn’t I say I don’t want to have any relation with him?! Can’t believe you-”

“Hold on! So he did called you?!”Luhan’s voice was growing intense and raised an octave.

“Of course he did and can you believe what he said to me? He wants me to comfort him and Luhan for someone who had-” Kris hissed only to be cut off by Luhan again. “Wu Yi Fan! Please tell me you didn’t make things worse.”

He furrowed his eyebrow. “Things worse as in….?”

“What did you say to him? I swear to God you better not lie to me now, Kevin Wu.” Luhan threatened and Kris gulped as he can sense the irate in Luhan’s voice. Automatically, he felt a wave of panic transferring to him. “I….told him to not bother me…?” Kris said unsurely.

The line went silent for a few seconds until…

“LEE JIA HENG WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!” Luhan screams into the phone and Kris had to pull away from his phone in risk of hurting his ears. “LISTEN TO ME, KRIS WU YOU BETTER CALL HIM NOW OR I SWEAR I WILL—”

“For the love of God, Luhan, stop mentioning all of my names. And stop screaming, do you want me deaf? For the record, he started all these feuds so why are you angry at me?” he whined, pouting.

The line went silent again and Kris was still not getting what was happening. First, Suho had called him. Then, Luhan did the same and shouting at him about Suho. It doesn’t help him either that it was freaking 3 in the morning.

After a few seconds, Luhan sighed for the nth time. “Yifan…. Junmyeon.. I don’t think he is well.”

“What do you mean by that?” he questioned.

“He was crying at me asking for your number. I refused and he cried harder, so I gave him your number, thinking that it would be the right choice. I thought you would comfort him, not this!”

“Luhan, which part of ‘me and Suho aren’t in good terms’ do you not understand?”

“Wu Yi fan, listen to what I just said! Suho. Was. Crying. Hard. At. ME” Luhan retorted, emphasizing the last word.

“So what? Everyone cries when they have problem. Suho too cries when he felt………Oh…….”

“ING finally!” Luhan surrendered.

“………Oh…..I see…..I….have to go” Kris whispered before hanging up.

What had he done? He screwed up. Clutching his phone tighter, he felt so much guilt building in him as if he had been a criminal. Kris remembered one thing.

Suho never cries to anyone about his problems.

He thought after he left, Suho would open up his problems to the members, or even to Sehun who was the closest to him but Sehun had said that Suho had never told him any of his worries regarding himself.

Some of the problems he shared were always just a small problem that could be easily solved by discussing as group. But he remembered Sehun telling him that Suho doesn’t cry anymore, except for watching a sad movie.

To hear those statements, Kris was puzzled. That was nothing like what Kris had expected. Sure, he was the shoulder that Suho love to lean on. Suho would always tell his worries to Kris, and boy, Suho had so many worries that he tends to over-think them. Being a good friend, he would listen to the boy’s problem and helped him.

At first when they were given the task as leaders, it was hard for both of them. They were awkward to express their feelings and doubts to each other. But eventually, things got better and he found that Suho is actually a good company for him. Even though they don’t seem close, but he knows that Suho understood him the most and vice versa. As they spend more years with each other, both of them had grown fond of each other. Suho said that he doesn’t want to share his individual worries with others because as a leader, he shouldn’t add more burden to them. Kris thought the opposite but if Suho doesn’t feel comfortable talking with the members then he was all ears.

That was until he filed the lawsuit. The hardest thing was to leave the members especially EXO-M who looked up to him as a leader but at the end, he failed them. And Suho….He had told the maknae, Sehun to take care of the leader, to replace him for Suho when he is gone. But he guess, that didn’t work.

Thinking even deeper, Suho must have a reason for wanting Kris to be the one comforting him. Why didn’t he go to s? It must have been so bad that he chose Kris, someone he despised, to comfort him….What have I done?

Immediately, Kris searched back for the number that had called him and pressed the call button. “Come on, Junmyeon. Pick up the phone. Come on!” he mumbled to himself while tapping his foot nervously.

“This is the mailbox to the num-”

Darn it!

Shifting on his bed, his mind was fuzzy and THE pain in his head was throbbing in early morning. His hand started roaming, looking for his phone on the bed. And that’s when he realized that HE WAS ON THE BED. He quickly opened his eyes and to add in more surprises, Sehun was sleeping beside him while holding his other hand.

Suho blinked a few times, trying to figure it out whether his brain was playing a trick on him. He remembered Sehun had told him that he would sleep somewhere in Busan since it’s too far from the dorm. Plus, he had to resume filming in the evening.

The body beside him let out a groan and slowly, Sehun opened his eyes.

“You’re awake, hyung?” he mumbled while taking out his phone under the pillow to look at the time. Their hands were still clasped together.

“I didn’t know that you came home. I thought you had late night filming.” Suho answered while trying to sit up.

“Luhan called. He said I need to be there with you.” Sehun said warily as he positioned himself to sit too. His lips were pressed into a thin line, not sure whether should he bring it up or not. “He also mentioned Kris”

Suho stiffened as soon as he heard the name, and Sehun noticed this.

He knew?

The leader wasn’t able to look at the maknae in the eye, feeling ashamed suddenly for whatever reason, he does not know. Sensing the latter’s discomfort; he tugged Suho’s hand forward, bringing Suho closer to him as the older looked up to meet his gaze.

“Hyung, I know I can never replace Yifan hyung to be your shoulder to cry on but please, I beg you. Don’t do this alone. You have me and the other members, and …if you are hurting please tell me. Yifan hyung, he…….he told me to take care of you. Even Luhan said that too…..But how can I when I don’t even know when you are having a hard time and it pains me.”

Sehun eyes were literally begging, looking like a kicked puppy. It seemed like Suho was still in a daze as he continue to gaze into Sehun’s eyes. It was Suho who broke their eye contact first and bit his lips. He was mentally fighting with himself whether he should open up to Sehun or not. But Sehun had other things to worry about, he thought. The younger was having a movie in the making and Suho can’t just distract him because of his stupid, foolish and pathetic insecurities.

In the end, he only mumbled out a soft ‘I’ll try.’

 Heaving a sigh, Sehun was clearly not satisfied with Suho’s answer, but however he decided not to push him any further. Instead, he leaned forward and planted a kiss on Suho’s temple. (an affectionate gesture that Sehun always do to Suho)

“Promise me you will.” He whispered, earning a nod from Suho.

For a few minutes, they only sat in a comfortable silence while Sehun childishly played with Suho’s fingers, until they were alarmed by Sehun’s phone. Their manager had called Sehun to get dressed for his next filming, and Suho’s pretty sure, his manager wasn’t quite pleased with Sehun for the change of plans last night.

Sehun stood up and gave Suho a smile before disappearing into the toilet. The smile on Suho’s face soon faltered after Sehun was no longer in sight. What Sehun does not know was that…Suho can no longer feel his heart. No, he was not turning heartless, he just can’t bring himself to be in that painful situation again, he just wants to forget everything.

He felt like trash, a cup that will never be enough even after how many efforts were poured in it. At the end, he finally believed how worthless he was actually.

“WU YIFAN!”

Yifan winced at the harsh tone of his manager and for the angels in the Heavens, why won’t people stop shouting his name. The chair creaked when Yifan leaned back, clearly unbothered by his manager’s wrath.

“There is no way I’m letting you board this plane. Do you have any idea what you will encounter?!” his manager, who was barely his height; slammed his hand on the table between them.

“I’m still going.” Yifan firmly stated.

“EXO is going to be in the same airport the minute you land there. Get it in your thick skull that your lawsuit isn’t settled yet and that pain in the company will on us if you come any near them. Do you understand?!”

However, Yifan was still stubborn to his manager’s words. “Ge, I won’t get caught, I promise! The members will help me. Come on, please? You won’t hear or read any article regarding me the next day, I assure you!”

There was a silence before his manager grunt, a sign of giving in and Kris mentally fist up in victory. “There better be no news the next day, Yifan. If I receive a call from that darn company enraging about you, you’re gonna get it,Yifan.”

“I got that.”

“Listen kids, your flight will be here in a few minutes. If you really need to go to the washroom, or buy any food, go now before they call us. Yes, I’m talking to you Chanyeol, and take Jongin with you, he had been whining about chicken in the airport since forever.” Suho calmly said while handing out the members’ plane tickets. Even after 4 years, he still acts like the ‘mother’ of the group, taking care of his baby chicks.

“Hyung..” The baby of the group suddenly called out..

“Hmm?”

“Can you come with me? I don’t want to go to the toilet alone.” he gave his infamous pout that no one especially Suho can deny. “Aigooo our baby of the group. Come let Baekhyunnie hyung accompany you to the toilet.” Baekhyun cooed while latching himself onto Sehun.

Rolling his eyes, Sehun unattached Baekhyun from himself and stride behind Suho only to pull the latter in a back hug. “I want to go with Suho hyung not you. Chanyeol hyung, please collect this short kid.” he angled his chin up to Baekhyun’s direction.

“Pfft Brat. Who are you calling me a kid! Let’s go Chanyeol.” Baekhyun pulled Chanyeol (who was pulling the sleepy Jongin) and marched somewhere into the food store.

The youngest lets out a chuckle, until he felt a sudden pain on his ears caused by Suho pulling it. “Ouch!” he rubbed the pain out of his ears while looking betrayed at the leader. “What did I say about being childish, Oh Sehun? After you are done, apologize to Baekhyun, alright?”

Sehun pouted but soon his pouty lips turned into a grin. “Only if you come with me.”

Suho looked at him in disbelief but he ended up breaking into a fond smile and his hand goes to rub Sehun’s ear, the place where he had pulled.

“Childish.” he mouthed.

Making sure the managers aren’t following (or looking), Sehun pulled the leader by his wrist. They were already in the private area, fr