He sat on familiar steps that he almost hardly took notice when he was a child. It was his first home. His second home was his own house, a house he moved in with Irene.

Now

It seems the only home he can turn to.

A home his mother had already forgotten.

Or at least, let go off.

“How long have you been sitting there?”

A man of age asked him. His features resembled his and Seulgi let out a small smile before standing up to make a bow.

“Are you with Irene? You should have called me. I could have cooked for you.”

“It’s okay Dad. It’s just me.”

“You usually visit with Irene. Judging from your face, there seems trouble.” Mr. Kang sits on the steps and Seulgi follows.

They stay in silence for awhile, the two men watching passersby. It didn’t help that most of them were kids. Seulgi had to look down on his feet earning a sigh from his father.

“You know… Your mom and I were thinking of divorce way before you were born. I was struggling as an artist and she was carrying most of the finances by herself. We argued all the time. There was a point we almost hurt each other. I am still glad we didn’t. We tried to stay together a little longer. We could try fixing things because marriage is supposed to be that way. Then we had you. You were the biggest blessing we ever had. I may not have been perfect. But you were Seulgi. You were. I tried harder. Really I did. But your mother wanted more for you. She didn’t want you to see how much of a failure your father was. Or at least that was what I initially thought.”

Seulgi eyed his father with an apologetic smile. Of course he saw how the divorce went. He didn’t want it but his mother had every right for her own happiness. Later on she fell in love again. She married the man that gave him two wonderful sisters. Something he was thankful for out of the heartache he saw with his parents.

“There was a time I asked myself, what if your mother only wanted me to fight for the both of you; to work harder, to dream harder. What if I didn’t agree to it? Would our lives be better, or was your mother really better off. Seeing you now son, it was for the best. Or at least your mom and I are both lucky you are the man we always wanted you to be.”

He eyes Seulgi then smiles as he messes with his hair.

“I don’t know if I am still that man dad. I am hurting Irene even if I don’t want her to get hurt. There are times I can’t console her anymore.”

“Are you giving up on her?”

“She wants me to.”

Mr. Kang places his hand on Seulgi’s shoulder and pats it a bit. He breathes out as his eyes watches Seulgi’s stare at what used to be his playground. The older Kang his lips, not wanting to say things he would regret.

But then, he should be honest.

It was what his son needed.

“Do you love her?”

“Yes. I do. You know that.”

“If this happened after you get married. Would you leave her?”

“No! It’s not her fault.”

“I am not asking if you would because of the circumstance. Would you because she won’t give you a child?”

Does he?

Seulgi looks up to his father and felt out of breath. Would he have left her because they could not conceive? Would he stop loving Irene just because she can’t bear him a son or a daughter?

Who wouldn’t wish for that?

A mini-Seulgi running around the house

One more person to look forward to when he get home from a tiring day at work

Wouldn’t he want that?

Would it matter if the child came from them?

They could adopt a child anytime. But why did he not have the conversation with Irene. He always told her it was okay, but never told her their options.

He does mention them once or twice.

But he does not follow through.

Did he really want that?

“Son… You have to really think about what you want for your future. Do you want to have kids? You can’t as of the moment. But I’m sure you two could figure something out. Just my opinion.” Mr. Kang shakes him a bit, interrupting his thoughts.

“You have to know, that if there was one thing I regret today, it’s not fighting for your mother.”

Seulgi smiles and nods at the confession.

It must have been hard.

It must still be hard to see the woman you love in the papers happy and content without you.

“Think about it carefully. I know you’re not married. But it doesn’t take away that chance. Do you want her to leave only to realize you both made the mistake to late? Or are you going to hold on and tell her, whatever happens, you would always love her?”

Seulgi does not speak but settles his gaze on his father’s eyes.

 

@@@@@@@

 

Seulgi comes home to a dark house once more. Irene seems to have the liking to it lately. He should change that. Vowing to take some time off to be with his soon to be wife, he enters and sees that the balcony is closed.

“...Honey?” He calls out and does not hear any sound.

He carefully makes his way to the balcony to check if Irene locked herself out and saw that no one was there.

His heartbeat started to pick up when he walked over to their room. The bed was made and there was no sign of any change.

“Irene?”  He calls out and checks their bathroom.

He found no one.

Panic was starting to creep up his veins as he started to leave the bathroom. Just then he remembered noticing an item missing on the sink.

Irene’s toothbrush

He immediately opens the lights and checks the dressers and the cabinets.

He was right.

Irene left.

Leaving behind her engagement ring with no note for Seulgi.

 

@@@@@@@

 

Jessica and Krystal frantically walked around the living room while their stepmother tried to reach their father.

Seulgi was on his way to them with the sad news.

“He’s not answering.” Mrs. Jung gave up and sat on the sofa.

“It’s okay mother. We’ll know more when Seulgi arrives.”

As if on cue, the young man arrives utterly looking like he just came from a warzone. Krystal had to wipe his face while Jessica immediately went to her room to get a shirt her stepbrother could borrow from Yuri.

“Mom…” Seulgi immediately hugs his mother.

“...Were you able to contact her through her phone?”

“No. But I’m sure she just went home to Daegu. I’m going there now. I just had to let you know.”

“In this weather? You will not Kang Seulgi!” His mother complained and his stepsisters could only look at him in apology.

He knows that’s what they would also say.

But he had to get to Irene. And he had to get to her not a second too late.

“I’m sorry. I really have to go. I love you guys.”

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