It's been five months since the first time I saw her. Back then those eyes were staring at the other girl who was next to me. It was filled with so much sadness. As if someone had just ripped her chest open and took a hold of her heart, making it stop and breaking it into pieces.

It broke my heart knowing that I had been a part of it. That I was somehow part of the reason why she's gotten her heart broken.

I wish things had been different. I wish I had met her in a different circumstance. I wish I had seen her first in this state. I wish I had seen her beautiful smile before I saw that hurt in her eyes.

I followed her with my eyes as she and her friends get ready to go back to work. She was searching for something in her bag. She seemed to have forgotten something and I was right. When I looked at the booth that she and her fiends were occupying a while ago, I saw the planner that she always carried with her no matter where she went

That sounded too stalkerish but I'd be lying if I say that that wasn't what I was doing for the past five months that I've known her...known about her.

---

Five months earlier

I was glad that I gave this date a chance instead of just turning it down like I had been doing before. My friends set me up on a date with the girl from the 9th floor. A paralegal named Hirai Momo.

I was hesitant at first because I had absolutely no idea who she was. They told me that she saw me at the elevator once but didn't manage to get my name because she had to get off and ever since then she had tried to figure out which floor I worked in. She eventually found out that I was from the 22nd floor from the doorman.

A week after she found out, she looked for a reason to come up to my floor and asked a colleague about me. My friends had been trying to set me up on dates but I've turned them all down, always making excuses and so I don't know what came over me when I let them set me up on a date with Momo.

"You really don't have to accompany me home, you know? You're going the opposite direction." We were standing on the platform, waiting for the train to arrive. She should have been on the other side because that's the train she should've been catching.

"But it's getting late and it's kind of my fault that you're going home at this hour."

"I did enjoy the time I spent with you though so you shouldn't feel too guilty."

Momo was pretty charming. I guess that's how she's convinced my friends to set me up with her. I think she's really good at charming people with her words and she's funny, too. It was needless to say that I had thoroughly enjoyed our date and it made me think that we've got a real connection.

"But really you don't have to go with me. I'll send you a message when I get home."

She waved it off and said, "I don't have to but I want to. I guess that I'm sort of using this as an excuse to spend more time with you. I just don't want this date to end just yet."

She had a way with words and she's doing a good job impressing me on our first date. It'd be crazy if I rejected going out with her again.

The train has finally arrived and since it was already late, the car that we got on only had one passenger in it. Momo and I occupied the seat across the lone passenger.

"The next time we go out, you should choose the movie and I should choose the food."

"Yeah the movie you chose was a snoozefest."

"I know. You were starting to fall asleep so I chewed on the chips loudly so you'd be forced to suffer with me."

I laughed as soon as I remembered the look on the other movie-goers within the ten feet radius when Momo started munching on the chips.

"It was so unfair that they were only getting mad at me. It's not like it's my idea to buy chips instead of just buying popcorn."

"We'll work on our decision-making skills next time."

"That's--"

Momo suddenly stopped talking and when I looked at her, she has entered a staring contest against the only other passenger in the car.

"Momo, do you know her?"

It took quite a while for her to respond and to shake her head no, before directing her gaze back at me. "Where was I again? Ah! Does that mean you'll go out with me again?"

I simply smiled and nodded but I still have this feeling that she knew the other passenger and that other passenger knew her.

I looked at the girl sitting across us. She had a disheveled look and the white button up shirt that she was wearing looked like she hasn't got the time to iron it. The first thing I noticed was the box she was carrying. It was filled with a lot of things but the one that stood out was the picture frame she was holding.

I didn't see what picture it had but she kept on looking at it and then glancing at Momo. I wasn't sure if Momo was aware of that. She just kept on recalling what had happened earlier. I was still listening to what she was saying but my attention was partially on the girl sitting across us. I would occasionally laugh at what Momo was saying but the girl with the sad eyes intrigued me too much to the point that it was like Momo's suddenly disappeared and it was just me and the girl there.

I was blatantly staring at her but her gaze never left Momo. I only looked away from her to look at Momo who was still talking about god knows what. I wanted to ask her again if she knew the girl but I just couldn't do it. I wasn't sure what was stopping me.

The train came to a stop and she was still looking at Momo. I couldn't quite figure out the exact emotion that I was seeing. I was sure there was sadness there but there was something else. She seemed tired...and down.

I tried to think of something to compare it with and it brought me back to when my parents had decided to call it quits. It was the same expression on my mother's face when she finished signing the divorce papers. She had caught my father cheating again even when he said he wasn't going to do it anymore. I knew she still loved him but she's reached the point of wanting to forgive him but couldn't because she was just too tired of it all. It was the look that says a person has given up. Given up on trying to make things work.

I saw Momo took a glance at her when the girl stood up and headed for the door but immediately looked away which made me stare at the girl once again. This time she was smiling and it broke my heart for I have never seen someone smiling so sadly. It was also the moment I saw her finally letting her tears fall down her face. I knew she was holding it in.

It reminded me of the last kid that i had to babysit, Kyungsan, and his pet dog. When Kyungsan's parents came home one day to let him know that his dog had to be put down, it had given me a lesson on letting someone go.

His dog had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and the doctor had informed the family that it was going to be difficult for the family pet if they refused to put him down. I grew up not having any pet so I had a hard time understanding what Kyungsan and his family felt. I know it was sad. I'm not heartless. I just din't have an idea of how it felt to lose someone so important permanently.

I was babysitting Kyungsan when they broke the news and I saw him throwing a fit. He shouted at his parents and locked himself up in his room with the dog. "He's had him ever since he was born," his parents had told me. "Do you mind coming with us to the clinic when this happens? He thinks of you as an older sister and maybe it would be a bit easier for him if you're there."

I nodded and watched as his mother knocked on his door, urging him to come out. He yelled no and opened the door. "You can't kill him! You can't take him away!"

His parents hugged him as he bawled his eyes out in their arms and they explained why it had to be done. I excused myself and kept my word. I went with them to the clinic.

Before the doctor went through with the procedure, he told the family to say their goodbyes. Kyungsan went last and unlike the other day, he was calmer and seemed to have accepted the fate of his dog.

He approached the table and ran his tiny fingers through his fur. I didn't pay much attention to what he was saying as I was too absorbed in watching his lips curved into a sad smile. One of his front tooth was still missing.

"Mommy and daddy said you need to go somewhere else so you'd feel better. I can't go with you there but if you'd feel better there then you should go." I couldn't believe I was seeing a kid that was braver than most of the adults that I knew then.

Kyungsan tried not to cry as he leaned his head on him one last time. He mustered up a smile but that only made him tear up. It was the same sad smile that I was seeing as I watched the girl exit the train.

The train was departing but the girl just stood at the same spot. I stared at her until she was out of sight. The ride home suddenly went so quiet and Momo's last words to me was "Good night."

The next day, my friends asked me how the date went and I answered them truthfully, leaving out what happened in the train.

A week after the first time I saw her, I was surprised to know that she worked in the same building. We got on the same elevator. I pressed the 22nd and she pressed the 24th. I wasn't sure if she remembers me. I don't even know if she was aware that I was the one sitting next to Momo during that train ride.

The week after that I tried my luck and I said good morning to her at the elevator when she was there. She did a small bow and smiled politely. I didn't know what kind of serendipity crap was happening that week but we either ride the same elevator in the morning or going home. I even waited for her in the train station since we catch the same one but my luck has ended in the riding the elevator.

She always had this mysterious aura surrounding her and so I started asking around. It wasn't easy considering the fact that I didn't know her name yet. So one day, I finished all the office work that I needed to do so I could go off earlier. I went to the person who knows everyone in this building and who would not be ashamed of telling people gossips. The doorman.

"Jung-kil ahjussi."

He turned around looking like I just ruined his day.

"I'm kidding. Jung-kil oppa."

"Better. What is it that you need?"

"Okay. So I normally don't do this but I'm starting to get desperate. Do you this girl who works in the 24th floor?"

"There are a lot of girl working there. Be a bit more specific."

I thought deeply on how I would describe her. "Well, she's very pretty. Beautiful. The kind that would make you hit your head on a post because you were staring at her too much. But...when she smiles...it kind of gets heart breaking because she looks so sad. So you'd feel like you want to protect her. Then, her eyes...I've never seen such pure eyes before. You know what I mean?"

"I don't. No."

I sighed and hung my head low. That's when I remembered her beauty marks. "She has moles, here, here, here, here and here," I said as I pointed to my chin, the side of lips, just above the upper lip, the side of the nose and the center of the forehead. I wasn't sure if she had more but those are the ones that stood out and the ones that I remember.

"Ah. Miss Myoui." He smiled and bowed.

"Miss Myoui?"

"Good night, oppa."

I turned my head to see the owner of that voice and I was surprised to see her. It was my first time hearing her voice. It was soft and could probably pass a lullaby. She headed for the exit right after greeting our doorman.

"Now that I saw her again, your description makes more sense. Her name is Myoui Mina and as you know she works in the 24th floor."

I waited for him to say more but I guess he was waiting for me to tell him what I want to know. "You know Momo from the 9th floor, right? How are they related?"

"She's her fiancée. Well ex-fiancée, I should say."

"What?"

"They were engaged before but they broke up."

"What?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. All this time I was part of the reason behind those sad eyes and sad smiles.

I heard the doorman chuckling. "You need to get your ears checked."

"No. I-I heard everything you said clearly. I just couldn't believe it. When did they call off the engagement?"

"I think it was about three weeks ago."

I probably shouldn't have asked that. Now I'm getting a headache and I feel like throwing up.

"Oh right. You were the one who went out with Miss Hirai, weren't you?"

I nodded. "Do you think she knows?"

He simply shrugged. "Miss Myoui keeps to herself a lot."

"Do you know why they broke up? It wasn't because I went out on a date with Momo, right?"

"Highly unlikely. They've already broken up before that date happened. Although rumors said that Miss Hirai only asked for a little bit of time and space. So it was a surprise for Miss Myoui when she saw Miss Hirai with someone else, you."

"But she doesn't recognize it to be me?"

"Seems like it."

I didn't think that was impossible. She did only stare at Momo the whole train ride.

I went home that night feeling like a huge douchebag and feeling like someone just er punched me in the gut.

This is why I shouldn't be going out on random dates or at least don't trust my friends on whoever they set me up with.

---

Present Time

I didn't know if I should come clean to her and tell her that it was me who was with Momo that night. Everytime I tried, I got too scared. I didn't know how she would react. I wanted her to be angry at me. I wanted to explain that I didn't know and that I was sorry.

If she asked me what I was apologizing for, I probably won't be able to answer.

So for five months all I did was watch her from afar. Creepy, yes and I had no valid excuse. My only reason being my curiosity. The need to know her. I wanted to know how to make her smile.

I was able to see how her sad smile slowly changed into a genuine one. The smile of someone who's starting to get their life back together. Her life used to be Momo but now that they're not together anymore, I think she's trying to build a new one where she didn't revolve it around another person.

Everytime I see her nowadays, I would see no trace of that smile that I saw in the train. Not even on that fateful day that she and Momo were heading for the exit at the same time. At first, Mina didn't notice her but when she did, she politely greeted her and smiled.

I don't have the best eyesight but no one could have mistaken that smile to be a sad one.

Today, I decided that I was going to stop being a coward and finally talk to her. i headed to the university I graduated from which I also happened to be hers. I was two years ahead of her and we were in different departments.

I knew she went there after work every Friday just to stare at the famous pond where they say tiny turtles live and if you spotted one, you'd be lucky all year.

As if it was on cue, she arrived and was standing a few feet away from me. She was clutching her journal to her chest and I tried to take a few steps closer to her. I tried not to make it too obvious and she seemed really immersed into staring at the pond.

I took a deep breath before I broke the ice. "You know...they say if you spot a tiny turtle in there, you'll get lucky for a whole year."

She looked at me and said, "I know. I graduated here. I hear that a lot from the seniors but I've never spotted once ever. Have you?"

Of course, she knows. How could I have forgotten that? "I spent four years of my life here and not once have I seen those tiny turtles either."

She giggled and it was like, what was the thing that people say when they hear someone's voice and they like it? Music to the ears? Angels singing?

I'm not sure but I think both would've described her giggle very accurately.

"Do you think I would get in trouble if I throw something in there? I didn't read the handbook back then."

I did because I was that student. That nervous wreck, thinking I would walk in the wrong class on the first day kind of student.

I smiled and said, "I'll be your look out." I turned around and heard a splash. When I looked at the pond, I saw the water ripple made by the thing that she just threw.

I looked at her and figured out that it was her journal. "Why did you throw it?"

"It's full of memories that I could finally let go."

The first thing that came to mind was Momo. It probably had all her memory of her. I needed to come clean. I had to.

"I'm Im Nayeon. We work in the same building."

"Myoui Mina."

"22nd floor," I pointed to myself, "24th," I pointed at her and hesitated to say the next thing, "and...Momo from the 9th floor."

Her eyes widened a bit and I started telling her about that train ride and the events that followed that.

She was looking down the entire time and when I was done, she excused herself and walked away.

---

A week has passed after I had that talk with Mina and I don't know if she hasn't gone to work all week or if she's found a way to make us not meet. I didn't see her in the usual place she had her lunch.

I was starting to regret even telling her but I knew that if I kept the truth from her, I would feel much worse.

It was time for me to go home and I was trying to walk really quick because it looked like it was about to rain. I guess I was still lucky because it only started raining the moment I stepped foot in the station. I bought a ticket and waited for the train to arrive.

I was hoping that the rain would stop when I get to my station. The train has arrived and I took the car with no passengers in it. The door was about to close and I hear someone getting in. I didn't look up because I was busy trying to contact someone from home to ask them to come pick me up.

The only other passenger sat next to me so I had to look because I found it creepy. The passenger turned out to be Mina.

"Mina, I--"

"I was sent to Japan for a business trip and I also took the time to visit my parents. That's why I was gone for a week."

"Oh."

"It was a sudden business trip."

"Okay."

"I wasn't able to tell you what I wanted to say that day at the university."

I prepared myself for the worst.

"I'm not angry. Not anymore. I guess that's the good thing about time. Also, I don't think you have anything to apologize for. You shouldn't feel bad that you went out with her and I shouldn't be mad at you for that."

She looked at me and must've felt like I needed more assurance.

"You weren't aware of what was happening. I mean, you didn't know we were together or that we were only taking a break or at least that's what she said. You could say that you were just dragged into it."

"But...it just made me sad seeing you then, looking hurt and broken."

"I can assure you that the moment threw that journal away was the same moment I've completely let go of everything that made me lonely and that I'm happy again. I think was able to all my wounds."

I heard her soft giggle again.

"You don't have an umbrella. It's raining really hard outside."

"Yeah, I could ask my dad to pick me up."

"I have an umbrella and I would lend it to you but then I'll end up soaking wet when I get home. I should just walk you home."

"No, that's--"

"This is your stop. Come on."

Mina held my hand for the first time and I immediately liked the warmth of her hand. It was something I would want to feel every day.

That night before I went to bed, I thought about the ride on the train and the silent yet comfortable walk to our house.

A realization hit me. "It was a slow fall but I think I've done it. I've fallen in love with Mina."

____

okay so if you've watched the mv of this day6 song you'd know how i got the inspiration from that

this is how i pictured it should've happen lol the other guy was so oblivious how is that possible tbh

this is the first of my day6 title songs series. so there's "letting go" and i think i don't have to say whose POV that would be.

i'm thinking of writing other mina or nayeon pairings too but i ccan't put it here