Park Chanyeol,

You know too well that it's hard for me to express myself in words, but I suppose this is better than talking to you in person. I'm sorry it took me a long time.

When I was still a trainee, I've looked down on myself because I saw there were others who were far better and talented and trained for a very long time. I became anxious that I would have to wait for that long before I can debut. It was difficult for me to open up to fellow trainees; they thought of me as obnoxious, but you came to me first and made friends with me. We instantly clicked because we have the same personality and interests. I was very happy when they announced that they would debut a group, more so when we were chosen together.    

Your constant encouragement removed the doubt I have for myself and would strengthen me whenever I wanted to give up. I hope I gave you the same feeling of comfort whenever you come to me when you have problems. I know that until now you still have insecurities, but always remember, I will never stop supporting you. I am very proud of you. You're talented and you deserve the success you have and will come your way. Even if you say you still have a long way to go, you've improved the most from when I first saw you during practice.

As we were getting older, we meet new people, some our friends, others our enemies. On top of that, we became slaves of the industry. 

I don't know when or how I've started to distance myself. I've been for the longest time wondering, but now I know; I was afraid when I started to have feelings for you. I thought it was just a childish infatuation for someone greater. I gave up what I felt because I was afraid that I would ruin our friendship. Unfortunately, it was an immature decision.                        

Now I'm trying to bring back what we had, but I assume it's already too late. I understand you're mad and disappointed when I suddenly ignored and pushed you away. You were being patient but I suppose everyone has their limits. I apologize for everything that happened because of my selfishness.

Park Chanyeol, I don't know if we'll ever go back to the way it was; I hope it's not too selfish for me to ask. But I want you to know, I'm not afraid anymore. We're together most of the time but you feel so distant. It pains me that now I only see hurt in your eyes when you look at me; your gaze used to be full of affection. I've come to accept that I care for you and I hope that you still feel the same way.

What's left for me is to wait; however, if you don't want me back, I'll accept your decision.

I love you, Park Chanyeol.

Byun Baekhyun