YA'LL! FALL OUT BOY WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! <3 <3

 

I still have so many feels from it, post-concert depression, excitement, amazement... UGH. AMAZING.

 

As for this update, I had to work hard again to make the angsty song end happy. I think it worked. :D

 

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Cursing (you should just expect this from me) and drug use, so be prepared.

 

Enjoy!

---

Alone Together

 

I don't know where you're going,

But do you got room for one more troubled soul

I don't know where I'm going,

But I don't think I'm coming home

And I said, I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead

This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end

 

Sungyeol really wondered how he ended up drawing the short straw in his life. He always seemed to be the last person chosen for the team, the odd man out, the one nobody quite knew what to do with. As a child, those were probably the loneliest moments--watching the kids all team up with each other and leave him to sit alone on the playground, always mocked for his height, his chubby cheeks, his gangly limbs, and then shut out from the group.

 

All because the boy was an orphan.

 

Sungyeol didn’t know much about his parents, just that his father seemed to have vanished and his mother dropped him off on the steps of the orphanage when he was three years old. His memories of her had all but faded--the boy only remembering her dark brown hair, similar to his own, and the tear tracks along her cheek as she left him behind.

 

He tried to be positive about his life--the caretakers at the orphanage fed him well, clothed him, paid for him to go to school outside the orphanage--but knowing that Sungyeol was not like the rest of the kids seemed to brand him as an outsider. And as Sungyeol continued to grow up, attempting to assimilate in society, yet being pushed to the outskirts because of his background, he began to slowly realize how futile his efforts were.

 

Even as the young man began to grow into his looks, dyed his hair, pierced his ears, and attracted the attention of many who saw him for the first time, Sungyeol still never felt like he belonged anywhere, even in the orphanage. It was with that thought one night that Sungyeol packed a bag full of his meager belongings from over the years and left the orphanage without a word.

 

Not like it mattered much to them.

 

Who was going to look for one eighteen year-old orphan?

 

~*~

 

Say, yeah

Let's be alone together

We could stay young forever

Scream it from the top of your lungs, lungs, lungs

Say, yeah

Let's be alone together

We can stay young forever

We'll stay young, young, young, young, young

 

~*~

 

Sungyeol took another quick drag from the cigarette between his two fingers, puffing the smoke from his lips as he leaned against the brick wall behind him. He could feel the vibrations of the bass pounding inside the walls of the club, but the young man continued to puff from his cigarette in cooler night air. Besides, he still had a few more minutes for his break, so he wanted to take a little longer outside those walls.

 

He watched out of the corner of his eye as two men stumbled their way out the back door of the club. The one of the men giggled as though he didn’t have a care in the world, the other, seemingly more sober one merely grinning at the mirth of the other man.

 

Sungyeol turned away to take another drag of the cigarette, keeping his eyes shut as he felt the tingle of the drug hitting his veins. He could still hear giggles from the other end of the alleyway, but what did it matter to him if the drunk was having the time of his life--

 

“You have any more of those?”

 

Sungyeol’s eyes shot open, glancing to find the sober one of the pair staring at him intently. The man’s dark, almond-shaped eyes were intense, and up-close, the man was stunningly gorgeous--and Sungyeol had seen his fair share of attractive men in his time on the streets and working as a bartender at one of the top clubs in the city.

 

And this guy was putting all of those before him to shame.

 

“Don’t feel like sharing?” The attractive man grinned.

 

Sungyeol scoffed, pulling the rest of the pack from his back pocket in offering. “You don’t think your friend over there wants one?”

 

The man glanced to other end of the alley, where the drunk man was now sitting on the ground half-conscious. “Nah, the brat’s been trying to get to quit these anyway and I’m sick of him nagging,” the man said, lighting up his own cigarette.

 

Sungyeol hummed--it would figure the two men were together. Damn shame though. He took another puff. “Not exactly the nicest thing to say about your boyfriend there--”

 

“Boyfriend?! Good Lord, no!” The other man replied with a snort, the smoke clouding out of his nose. “No way. The kid’s my nosy neighbor who thinks that a polite greeting at the mailbox means we’re best friends. I only came out because he’s a lightweight and he needs someone to look after him.”

 

“Must be nice,” Sungyeol mused, throwing his cigarette to the ground and stomping any remaining flame out.

 

The other man glanced over at the taller. “What?”  

 

“All of it,” Sungyeol sighed. “Being younger, being carefree, having people just watch your back because they can...not everyone has that.” Without another glance, the bartender made his way back inside the club.

 

~*~  

 

Uh, uh, uh, uh-oh

Uh, uh, uh, uh-oh

Uh, uh, uh, uh-oh

Uh, uh, uh, uh-oh

 

Cut me off, I lost my track

It's not my fault, I'm a maniac

It's not funny anymore, no it's not

 

~*~

 

In the past six months since Sungyeol began working at the club, he has been able to recognize a few familiar faces in the crowds each night--certain businessmen who only came in to cut loose on Friday nights, a couple regulars who just liked to come drink at the bar during the off-peak hours, then would head out during the real parties--and even though Sungyeol served them time and time again with their preferred drink orders, he never had any of them go beyond the typical bartender-patron relationships.

 

Of course, that all seemed to change lately.

 

For the last month though, Sungyeol had started to notice a certain dark-headed man taking up residence at one of the stools near the end of the bar. There didn’t seem to be much reasoning behind the man’s appearances--early afternoon, peak hours, late nights, all nights of the week--he was always just there. Always ordering something simple, rum and coke, vodka cranberry, draft beers--the man didn’t seem to have any favorites.

 

Except Sungyeol’s shifts.

 

Sungyeol had mentioned it off-handedly one night to one of the other bartenders about the man’s presence and his coworker had scoffed, saying that he only seemed to appear on Sungyeol’s nights.

 

So, the man was after Sungyeol’s attention. The question was: why?

 

And from Sungyeol’s own history, the answer wasn’t pretty--usually when people hung around, they either wanted something from him or they wanted to destroy him.

 

~*~

 

My heart is like a stallion, they love it more when it's broken

Do you wanna feel beautiful, do you wanna, yeah

I'm outside the door, invite me in

So we can go back and play pretend

I'm on deck, yeah I'm up next

Tonight I'm high as a private jet

 

~*~

 

Sungyeol grabbed a towel, moving over to the sink closest to the dark-haired man at the end of the bar. He moved to the sink nonchalantly and began washing the dirty glassware left next to it. He could feel the other man’s dark, piercing eyes on him and in a breath to quell the butterflies in his stomach. “What exactly is your endgame here?” He asked, eyes still watching the movements of his hands on the glassware.

 

The man started, seemingly not expected Sungyeol’s question. “What do you mean?” He countered.

 

“The first time I ever saw you was in the alley on my smoke break a month ago. You were taking care of your drunk neighbor,” Sungyeol explained. “Since then, you’ve suddenly taken root on this stool every night I’m here and only the nights I’m here. I’ve noticed, the other bartenders have noticed… so what the hell do you want with me? Or if you’re here to try to around, you can just forget about it. I don’t have time for mind games with pretty boys.”

 

“Is that all you think I am? A pretty boy?” The man asked with a smirk.

 

“It’s not like you’ve given me any reason to think otherwise,” Sungyeol retorted, annoyance still clipping his words.

 

“Well, I may be handsome, but I’m not here looking to be a -boy. I just want to get to know you,” the man replied.

 

Sungyeol put the glass in his hand on the drying rack and leaned forward, meeting the man’s eyes. “And again I ask, why?”

 

“You interest me.”

 

Sungyeol scoffed. “Well, I catch a lot of people’s interest. And I’m not really interested in expanding my social circle right now.”

 

“See, that’s it, right there,” the man said. “You’re hot--of course that’s the first thing I noticed about you--but you are both sociable enough to work a bartending job, but still so closed off from the world. I’m intrigued.”

 

“Then you can continue being intrigued. But quit being such a damn stalker,” Sungyeol said. “Get lost or I’m calling the bouncers over.”

 

“I knew you wouldn’t make it easy,” the man replied, a grin still present on his face. “If you need a smoke buddy, call me.” He laid a card down on the bar, sliding it towards Sungyeol.

 

Sungyeol pushed his hand against the other’s, stopping his forward push of the card. “I’m more of a loner.”

 

“I am too,” the man replied, pushing the card further under Sungyeol’s fingertips. “But there’s nothing saying we can’t be alone together.”

 

~*~

 

'Cause I don't know where you're going,

But do you got room for one more troubled soul

I don't know where I'm going, but I don't think I'm coming home

And I said, I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead

This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end

 

~*~

 

Since that night, that man’s last words rang through his head.

 

Alone together.

 

Such an oxymoron to Sungyeol, yet it wasn’t so unappealing to the man. Long nights at the bar only led to Sungyeol making the quick trek back to his small apartment alone and spending his few days off without a clue how to fill the loneliness.

 

Sungyeol had been down this road before, people wanting to get close to him--be it for his looks, a quick score, maybe some who started out genuine, but then dropped him as quickly as he came to know the truth. He was hurt at first, once he came to see how shallow all those faces turned out to be; yet, as he grew older, he could compartmentalize his feelings enough to get something he needed out of the deal.

 

Yet, this man--Myungsoo, he learned the name, written in beautiful scrawl on that card slipped under his fingers--Sungyeol couldn’t figure out his angle.

 

It wasn’t ; the man wouldn’t have chased him for over a month just for one brusque conversation and no response from Sungyeol’s side. It wasn’t like the boy looked at him for a quick score either; they had only shared the one cigarette, something easily bought at the nearest convenience store.

 

Which left only one conclusion: maybe there really wasn’t an angle.

 

Maybe this crazy oxymoronic thing could be a reality.

 

Sungyeol found himself dialing a number saved in his phone only a few days before and put the device to his ear. “Four blocks from the club. There’s a food stand. I’ll be there in an hour if you happen to be nearby.”

 

~*~

 

Say, yeah

Let's be alone together

We could stay young forever

Scream it from the top of your lungs, lungs, lungs

Say, yeah

Let's be alone together

We can stay young forever

We'll stay young, young, young, young, young

 

Uh, uh, uh, uh-oh

Uh, uh, uh, uh-oh

Uh, uh, uh, uh-oh

Uh, uh, uh, uh-oh

 

~*~

 

What the hell was Sungyeol even doing at this point?

 

That one phone call seemed to have changed everything. Myungsoo showed up at the food stall that night, exactly how Sungyeol had instructed, and the two just ended up eating, drinking, and talking the night away. Most of their questions and stories were superficial, learning about each one’s jobs, studies (of which Sungyeol had none, having barely finished his high school education), and opinions on the current events of the day--but nothing about their pasts, their beliefs, something which Sungyeol found intriguing on another level.

 

Despite the overall superficiality of exactly what the two men said to each other, Sungyeol thought there was plenty of things left unsaid that Myungsoo just seemed to get about Sungyeol, and vice versa. Myungsoo may not have outright asked certain questions about Sungyeol’s past, yet the man seemed to understand that if the taller were going to speak about his history, he would do it on his own terms.

 

Myungsoo may have at first said that it was Sungyeol who intrigued him, but Sungyeol soon found himself wrapped up in thoughts of the dark-haired man. Myungsoo was such an enigma to him--handsome, of course, but also witty, sarcastic, intelligent, kind, genuine, and just the exact opposite of all those who tried to worm their way into Sungyeol’s life.

 

The other thing about Myungsoo was that he was always there, exactly when Sungyeol needed him. He showed up at the bar right when Sungyeol needed a break from the patrons, taking smoke breaks together just like the first night they met. On Sungyeol’s day off, Myungsoo would show up at his front door, take-out in hand if it was early in the afternoon, bottles of soju the later in the afternoon they met up.

 

Suddenly, Sungyeol’s apartment wasn’t so lonely. And he was very much ok with it.

 

~*~

 

My heart is like a stallion, they love it more when it's broken

Do you wanna feel beautiful, do you wanna, yeah

I'm outside the door, invite me in

So we can go back and play pretend

I'm on deck, yeah I'm up next

Tonight I'm high as a private jet

 

~*~

 

Sungyeol puffed out smoke from his lungs as he and Myungsoo laid giggling in his bed, the joint passed between the two of them. Myungsoo took a long puff as well, still laughing through the puff. As usual, Myungsoo had come over with take out and bottles of soju, knowing that Sungyeol had dealt with some ridiculously obnoxious customers the night before.

 

Sungyeol had pulled out some of his leftover pot from a previous score with a former dealer--as usual, Myungsoo asked no questions, just laid down next to the man--and the two began telling silly stories, made even better once they both hit their highs. Sungyeol enjoyed the warmth of Myungsoo next to him, his awkward barking laugh made even more joyful by his loosened inhibitions, the dimples on the man’s cheeks making him look even more attractive to Sungyeol.

 

Not that Sungyeol would ever admit that out loud.

 

He could never.

 

Myungsoo had become far too important to him to lose to something as silly as simple attraction. So, Sungyeol just kept it all inside.

 

After all, he and Myungsoo were just loners. Just being alone together.

 

Myungsoo puffed out more smoke from his last breath, passing the joint back to Sungyeol’s waiting fingers. “I’m still curious about something,” the man replied.

 

“About what? I already told you everything those s did before I got the bouncers to throw them out,” Sungyeol replied, taking a quick breath in.

 

“Not about that,” Myungsoo replied, turning to his side to face Sungyeol. “I know you don’t like to tell me about your past, but I can’t stop imagining--”

 

“Don’t,” Sungyeol said. “You’re going to ruin my high.”

 

“But I’m just saying; how could someone as amazing and handsome and kind, like you, even have such a ty past?”

 

Sungyeol scoffed, taking another puff from the joint in his hand. “I don’t know; guess fate just decided to with me.”

 

Myungsoo took the joint once again, in the last puff before killing the joint in the ashtray next to them. “Maybe fate just wanted to lead our two ty paths to cross.”

 

“Right. Alone together.”

 

Myungsoo hummed, then laid quietly for a moment. “I don’t know if I want to be alone together anymore with you though.”

 

Sungyeol sat up in confusion. “What are you saying, Myungsoo?”

 

“Let’s not just be alone together,” Myungsoo replied, sitting up as well. “Can we just be together?”

 

~*~

 

Yeah

Let's be alone together

We could stay young forever

Scream it from the top of your lungs, lungs, lungs

Say, yeah

Let's be alone together

We can stay young forever

We'll stay young, young, young, young, young

 

~*~

 

Sungyeol’s eyes widened far more than Myungsoo ever thought they could--and his eyes were already fairly large and expressive. With this expression, the man looked more like a deer in headlights. Sungyeol’s eyes locked onto Myungsoo’s face. “What did you just say?”

 

“I like you Sungyeol,” the dark-haired man replied, eyes trained to his lap. “Can we be together? I want to be with you.”

 

Sungyeol’s shock did not wane. “But, why me?”

 

“Why not you?” Myungsoo countered. “Look, I get that you’ve had issues in your past. Some that I can’t even begin to imagine or understand probably, but that doesn’t matter to me. Sungyeol, I like you. I like being around you, having you with me-- I just feel young and free with you, and I think that you do too, or else you wouldn’t have called me that night--”

 

“Myungsoo, I’m an absolute mess--”

 

“And I already said, I don’t care,” Myungsoo affirmed, his hands coming to cup Sungyeol’s cheeks. “We’ve both been through our share of . Let’s do it together, here on out. I want to be here for you.”

 

“This could be an absolute disaster though,” Sungyeol argued. “Myungsoo, you’re the first good thing I’ve had during my entire life. I don’t want to lose you to some stupid crush and a little bed-warming--”

 

“I’m not going to pretend that I know how this is going to end,” Myungsoo replied. “I know where I want it to go. Will it be hard? With both our luck, damn straight it might be. But I’m willing to go if you are.”

 

“Myungsoo, I--”

 

“Please, Sungyeol. Let’s do this. Together.”

 

Sungyeol leaned forward to join their lips together in answer.

 

Who knows where this was going to go--but Sungyeol needed to see it out with Myungsoo at his side.

 

~*~

 

I don't know where you're going,

But do you got room for one more troubled soul

I don't know where I'm going, but I don't think I'm coming home

And I said, I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead

This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end

---

Post-concert depression hit me HAARRRDDD. It didn't help that almost all teh songs I want to write to were IN THE SETLIST, so everytime I wrote, I was innundated with feels. XD That concert was an absolute dream too--the setlist, the stage, WHERE ME AND FRIEND STOOD-- I still can't believe it. AND, if you didn't hear me say it on Twitter: PETE WENTZ TOUCHED MY HAND!!! 

ALL THE FEELS.

Anyways.. . I hope everyone enjoys this update. I still have plenty, PLENTY of inspiration left for these. <3