ignore fails lmao i was multitasking like always like a as i wrote this

()()()()

He wobbles out of bed with a killer hangover and telling himself he’ll never drink again. He’s not much of a drinker but the day before, he just had to get toxic into his system. It doesn’t seem worth it now because he feels like vomiting as he moves to his bathroom.

He gets into it and he’s immediately drops to his knees in front of the toilet– he throws up and it reminds him of the time Kyungsoo was attached to the toilet as through it was his lifeline. He closes his eyes as he dry heaves and sighs heavily when he’s done.

He walks to his sink and brushes his teeth before spitting, rinsing and walks under the shower spray. He’s out and walking around his bedroom as he dries his hair and flops on his bed. The phone beeps to announce the new notification and he rolls his eyes when he reads the message.

Baekhyun will never fall through when it comes to them meeting– there’s always something that comes up but Chanyeol knows it’s only because he’s lazy. He shrugs it off, this is nothing new and dials the clinic saved in his phone to confirm his appointment.

He goes there every fourteen days for his check-ups– he s around a lot but always plays it safe. The appointment is just to run some tests because he doesn’t need any surprise STDs.

When he gets his answer from one of the nurses, he hangs up and quickly throws on his clothes to make it there on time.

He can’t keep up this lifestyle– it’s not safe and it doesn’t make him happy. But it helps fill the void Kyungsoo has left behind, even if it’s only for a couple of minutes.

Chanyeol pauses as he stares at his face in his bathroom mirror, he averts his eyes to the sink and swallows thickly. This really is a ty habit he can’t seem to get himself to break out of and it’s ruining him more than it’s helping.

“Make up your mind, Park Chanyeol.” He hisses.

()()()()

He spots Baekhyun, about a week later, two seats away from the one he’s supposed to be sitting on– he doesn’t stop to talk to him because he’s already late and both his mother and sister give him the stink eye. Chanyeol gives his sister a wave, nods over at her soon to be husband, and sits next to his mother who scolds him under her breath.

The ceremony is halfway done and as bad as he feels for being late on his older sister’s special day– he’s semi glad because it means he doesn’t have to sit on the hard bench, listening to boring speeches and vows that were once directed towards him.

He shifts uncomfortably when the memory of his and Kyungsoo’s wedding hits him like a slap in the face. He spends the next few hour with a forced smile on his face after the lovely I dos are said and he stands up beside his mother to clap along with everyone else. 

He’s genuinely happy but this all has him remembering what he had with Kyungsoo. His lips are tightly press as the remorse threatens to choke him.

When Yura blinks at him, her face scrunching up and the eye smile he’s used to forms– his heart warms and grins and laughs. He looks down at his mother who leans into his side, trying to wipe at her watery eyes and holds her close to him.

The reception is a ride 20 minutes away from the church and when Chanyeol gets there– he’s already exhausted with the picture-taking they had to do before. He’s her brother so he had to stick around for most of it and when he congratulates her and her husband– he’s sincere about it even with the ache in his heart.

The reception’s table are labelled with names but Chanyeol took a while getting into the room because he got stuck with saying hello to his new brother-in-law’s side of the family that he has never met.

He’s later forced to sit next to people he doesn’t know and he almost regrets coming when the random old woman across from him starts asking too many questions. He responds to her half-heartedly and smiles tightly, sipping his champagne a few times.

Wedding have always been boring and drag on for far too long. He spends his time gulping down his champagne and listening to the speeches being shared– Yura had asked him to, but he denied and he’s glad she didn’t press him for it.

He refused to do so because most of Yura’s guests once attended his wedding– it’d rather not get unnecessary attention from them because he’s positive that after he’s done with the said speech; they’ll crowd him and start bombarding him with stupid questions.

Someone slides on the seat next to him, all breathless and giggly and when Chanyeol turns to look over at him– the giggles from the man beside him stop and a look of recognitions lights up on his face. “Small world,” He beams, adjusting the bowtie around his neck almost shyly.

Chanyeol turns to gaze at the name on the seat, “Kim Jongin,” He reads aloud.

“That’s cheating.” Jongin says, “But I’m glad there’s someone I know in this place.” He adds on and waves the waitress away when she offers him a bottle of champagne. “Water for me, thank you.” He adds as an afterthought and turns back to blink at Chanyeol.

“How do you know my sister?” Chanyeol questions.

“I don’t. Only here because of him,” Jongin points over to the name in front of Chanyeol, “I’m Lee Taemin’s plus one,” He pauses and gazes over at Yura nods her thanks to various people obviously congratulating her and her new husband. “Your sister is very pretty.”

“She’s not,” Chanyeol smiles before shrugging, “I should move,” He says announces with a shrug because he doesn’t want this Lee Taemin person asking him to move and Jongin’s hand is speedily on his arm to stop him from standing.

“You’re the only one I know here,” He frets and he looks different from the confident person he met nights ago. “And Taemin– he couldn’t get off work and I’m only here because I have to be here.” He says in one breath and Chanyeol almost feels sorry for him because of how uneasy he sounds.

“Alright,” He says and sees Baekhyun clinging onto someone, drunk, laughing and stumbling on his wobbly legs. What a ing lightweight, he thinks and makes no move to get his attention.

“Kim Jongin,” Chanyeol voices out randomly and ignores the piercing look that is thrown his way. “Kim Jongin–,” He’s startled when a hand falls on his shoulder from behind him. He looks up and finds himself staring at the man he once called his father-in-law.

“Chanyeol, my boy,” The man mumbles and there’s sincere joy in his eyes. Chanyeol’s eyes dart all over the place, looking for a specific figure and voice and hoping to hear the familiar voice over the soft music playing and loud chatter around him. “He’s gone.” The man states and the world around Chanyeol silences.

“What–? He was here?” He pushes his chair back and gets up, almost frantic and almost too much like a mad man. How did I miss him? How did I not ing see him? “Where did he go?” He demands under his breath but he can tell Jongin hears him, he looks over at him and he’s quick to look back at– what should he call him?– Kyungsoo’s father.

His mother’s suggestion to him not ‘bother them about Kyungsoo’ completely forgotten but he also bears in mind that this is not the place nor is this the time for this. “Did he see me? Where is he?”

“I just saw him out and yes, he did mention–,” Before the words are even fully out of the man’s mouth– Chanyeol is heading for the door with his heart in his throat and eyes wide. How did I not see him? Yura knows a lot of people and there are too many of them here– it slipped his mind that the Dos were invited.

He’s out of the hall, running down the long corridor as he makes his way for the stairs, brushing away all rational thoughts. He didn’t think Kyungsoo would come– given their fallout– but Kyungsoo has always had a soft spot for Yura.

Chanyeol spots the car just outside the building by the staircase, when he turns the corner leading to the stairs– he stands frozen. He knows that back anywhere, can draw it with his eyes closed and remembers every bump and every ing flaw on it that he’s ever felt under his fingertips.

“Park Kyungsoo!”

The small body he remembers so well stops and the big doe eyes he’s positive he’s still in love with look directly at him. The lips he badly misses to kiss every morning part, almost like he’s shocked to see him, which is stupid because this is Yura’s wedding, and Chanyeol is heading down the stairs, taking three at a time, and at the same time Kyungsoo’s rushing down the stairs.

He reaches the bottom before Chanyeol can get to him, yanks the car’s door open and he enters it– slamming the door behind him.

The car’s engine starts the second Chanyeol’s off the last step and he places his hands on the window, after fumbling harshly with the door’s handle and finding it locked. He has lost his mind and he’s making a fool of himself, he knows– , he knows this is beyond psycho behaviour. Kyungsoo never reacts or looks out the window to look at him, “! Kyungsoo!” He screams, angry and hurt and he flinches back when the car speeds off.

He comes back to his senses, ruffles his hair harshly, praying nobody heard the commotion he’d caused and sits on the last stair with his head in his hands. “ing unbelievable.” He spites out harshly. Even after all this time you still won’t look at me, He thinks and his eyes burn but he’s not going to cry. Not here.

He tugs the tie around his neck and breathes in deeply.

Someone steps beside him and Chanyeol snorts but says nothing because he thinks its Baekhyun. Only to be proved wrong when the voice breaks the uncomfortable silence. “Quite the show.” It’s Jongin and Chanyeol, for some reason, feels embarrassed. He doesn’t look up at him but he lifts his head from his hands and growls to himself.

“Please,” Jongin continues, tone light, “Tell me you aren’t always this sentimental.” He settles down beside him and Chanyeol finally looks at him. “Your father asked me to take care of you,” Chanyeol doesn’t correct him because Jongin knows nothing. No one will understand why Chanyeol just want to talk to Kyungsoo– wants them to fix, rebuild what they’ve lost.

If only they both weren’t emotionally closed off ing idiots– they – he should have tried harder–

“Are you staying long?” He asks, holding the eye contact and he sees how Jongin’s eyes flicker away when he realizes what’s being suggested.

“Depends on why you’re asking,” The cunning grin is back and Chanyeol takes it as his invitation.

“I know your name now,” He shifts up to his feet, turns around and stretches his hand to Jongin, “Any objections this time, Kim Jongin?”

This is his sister’s big day, he shouldn’t do this and under normal circumstances that don’t involve Kyungsoo– he’d never even dream of doing this.

He s Jongin in one of the stalls after sneaking into the toilet and it helps him forget Kyungsoo for a short minute. It’s raw, quick and it’s a complete mess of a quickie and they both struggle with cleaning up the stains printed on their suits when they are finished.

They don’t talk after.

They return to the dying reception and Jongin immediately goes to Yura, bidding her farewell after congratulating her ‘from Lee Taemin’  he says, so gently that Chanyeol is not sure it’s the same person he met at the club and just ed, and Yura giggles wholeheartedly as she kisses his cheek. Always too friendly with everybody.

He catches Jongin staring at him as if wanting to say something to him, but Chanyeol turns away– feeling a little sobered up after letting out his frustrations the only way he knows how. He finally manages to pull a clingy Baekhyun away from the man he has yet to be introduced to, but today is not that day because he needs his best friend clearheaded and to be alone.