Its late so im sure them typos and grammar fails are there ROFL sorry!!

()()()()

He spends a good few minutes trying to flag down a taxi for Jongin. Because he feels as though it’ll make up for how much of a he has been so far – even though the thought is completely outrageous.

Jongin is silent beside him, he’s avoiding his gaze and it’s obvious from how pointedly he stares at the cracks on the ground or at the moving cars speeding past them.

Chanyeol himself feels awkward and now he regrets not walking away after telling Jongin he can’t give him what he wants –he doesn’t think he has it in him to feel the same away.

Jongin is beautiful – Chanyeol would be a fool to try and deny it – and Chanyeol is very attracted to him. But Jongin does want more than he’s comfortable with giving and then there’s also the Kyungsoo issue he’s trying to deal with and keep his emotions in check.

And the baby, an innocent bystander in all this , that might be his and he doesn’t even know what to do with himself when he thinks about it.

Getting together just because a baby is involved would be foolish and Chanyeol hasn’t got a clue of how and if the law will be on his side should he decide not to get involved.

He’s aware he has to sign away his parental rights if he wishes for it – but will Child support still be an issue? He’s not broke that he can’t afford it. Does he really want his child to grow up without a father? Does he want his child to be moved between two different households?

There are too many thoughts and questions he has no answers to and it wrecks his brain.

He knows well enough that Jongin has insisted on taking care of the baby himself – can Chanyeol really live with that? After all those failed pregnancies he and Kyungsoo have suffered through?

Is he willing to throw it all away because he can’t it up and move on?

But the results won’t be out for another few days and Chanyeol thinks he’ll give himself time to think it over properly.

He thinks of telling his mother, Baekhyun (he’s finally back in town), Yura – anyone, but brushes the thought away because it’ll be a huge mess if the baby isn’t his – it’ll be an even bigger mess if the baby turns out to his.

He’s not looking forward to any of the future conversations if it is.

“I’ll be going now,” Jongin’s voice breaks him out of his trance and Chanyeol glances at him, a little startled. “The taxi is here.” He gestures to the silver vehicle with fat bold letter written on its side.

“Right,” He mumbles stupidly and watches Jongin open the back door, he hesitates and for a moment Chanyeol thinks he’ll say something, but he slides into the backseat and shuts the door.

He doesn’t think about it – he acts and one moment he’s startled and the next he’s saying – move in a soft voice to a confused Jongin and an impatient looking taxi man.

He settles next to Jongin, buckling his seatbelt and leaning back into the seat –all the while looking straight ahead and ignoring Jongin’s questioning look.

The ride to Jongin’s apartment is in silence and when they get to his apartment – Chanyeol watches him keeping glancing back to the taxi before he disappears into the apartment complex.

He stays in the taxi, the meter is still running and the taxi driver is sort of making impatient sounds, with his quilt growing rapidly because what a bastard he is and what does Jongin even see in him? What did Kyungsoo see in him back then?

It’s so out of character for him, but he doesn’t know himself anymore. He nods over to the driver and mutters his address and the taxi starts forward.

()()()()

When he gets back to his house after the appointment at the clinic with Jongin – he spends at good amount of time sitting before the television, nursing a beer in hand and flipping through the boring channels.

He wishes he had to ability to erase his memory – to erase the meeting with Kyungsoo – there’s no closure there and he doubts he’ll ever have it and that hurts horribly. He doesn’t know when he’ll see Kyungsoo again. – to erase ever meeting Jongin because then he won’t have this headache of worrying over a baby he has no idea is even his.

He thinks it’s cruel – the way life is messing with him, but when he really thinks about it long and hard – he kind of asked for it. He should have stopped the first few times Baekhyun warned him about knocking him poor idiot up back then.

Too consumed in his hurt and pain and need for satisfaction – now he wishes he gave a .

It might have been easy to ignore all this – Jongin and the pregnancy, but not anymore. It’s impossible now and Chanyeol thinks his own thoughts will kill him.

His fingers shake around the beer he’s holding, he has had a little too many cans, and he doubts he will get a good sleep tonight or the coming nights.

()()()()

The results come in the form of a letter in his mailbox three days later – just like Jongin’s doctor promised – and his grip on the letter is too tight.

All he remembers after reading the results is his head swimming and the letters starting to look as though they are mocking him. He remembers how quickly his heart started to beat from the pure fright and Chanyeol is almost hyperventilating at this point.

He slides against the wall, balling the letter in his palm and wishing so badly to scream, but holding it in because what good will that do? Let out his frustration and unwarranted angry? Sure. But it’s unnecessary to scream.

The results shouldn’t at all surprise him – but they do anyway – because this has been a huge fat possibility. But he was denying it and without the parental testing – he swears he would deny it will his dying breath.

There’s no denying it now, not with the truth staring him right in the face (granted the letter is now ruined because he balled it in his palm.) and he doesn’t know how to be mature about it.

He throws the balled up letter away from him and rests his face in his hands and Chanyeol finally screams.

It’s all chaos in his head as he tries to think of what the next step is now. There’s no one else he knows who is stuck in this situation or dealing with something like this – something this complicated.

Fathering a child with someone he doesn’t know all too well, someone he hasn’t planned out his future with – it’s weird and strange and he’s in an awkward position.

The future he wanted got derailed the second his marriage with Kyungsoo hit an iceberg. If he was only better at allowing himself to feel and be vulnerable.

If only he assumed that because Kyungsoo wasn’t crying about it too much meant he was alright – if only he acted more human and less robotic and Chanyeol hates himself because it’s something he can’t take back.

He picks himself off the floor, feels around for his phone in his pockets before remembering it’s on the kitchen counter.

He heads over into his kitchen, knocks over the tied up trash bag he plans to throw out tomorrow – it causes a dirty mess and he feels a sense of satisfaction before grabbing his phone off the counter and staring at for a moment.

He’s quick to find Jongin’s number. He hasn’t planned what he’s going to say to him, but Chanyeol feels ing confused and frustrated and he doesn’t know why he’s even running to the cause of all these unwanted feelings.

Dialling

He stares at the name – Kim Jongin – and eyes the digits before putting the phone to his ear and listening to it ring.

Jongin never picks up and Chanyeol only feels relief.

()()()()

He goes to work in a daze and leaves work albeit earlier than usual. His boss calls him out on it because for the last few weeks his performance has been severely lacking – Chanyeol snorts, but nods and promises to be better.

When he walks home – he calls his boss every ugly word he can think of. Minseok only listens to him.

He calls Jongin twice and the calls go to voicemail and Chanyeol’s relief from earlier wears off.

()()()()

For the first time in weeks? Months? Chanyeol invites a pretty woman with large knockers and wide hips – he s her and the guilt he feels afterwards causes him to be harsher than usual when he kicks her out of his house.

She flips him off and shouts you! You were so terrible I had to fake my !

He lays in bed staring at his phone, he skips over Jongin’s name and dials Kyungsoo’s number – Kyungsoo doesn’t pick up and Chanyeol spends the night thinking about a baby he’s not very sure he wants.

And he thinks about how hard it is to adjust to all this – how did he up this badly?

The strong smell of in the air tell him what he’s already aware of – if only he kept his locked up and didn’t go fooling around.

()()()()

 His out on his weekly dates with his mother when Jongin calls. She sees the name and waves him off, mouthing okay. Chanyeol wants to talk to Jongin, desperately, but not in front of his mother.

He’s a coward and can’t tell her.

“Just answer it!” She snaps, but there’s no anger in her tone, “Go out and answer it – I’ll be right here.”

Chanyeol stands from where he’s seated, vibrating phone in hand and he’s quickly out of the restaurant with his phone pressed hard against his ear.

It’s chilly out and he’s a bit pissed and his made is jumbled so the first thing he says to him is – What the , Jongin?

And his response is Jongin sharp inhale before he stutters a few times and Chanyeol is unable to understand what he’s trying to say and his anger grows.

“You’re still angry.” It’s not a question.

And Chanyeol finds himself staring at the buildings across from the restaurant he’s standing in front of. “What?”

Jongin breathes in, “I…had a feeling you’d be angry,” He pauses, “I didn’t want to get screamed at.”

Chanyeol blinks. “I wasn’t going to scream,” It’s stupid, but it’s all he has and he suddenly feels so ing stupid. He’s hit with the flashback of how he behaved the last time he saw Jongin in persona and there’s a sense of shame that feels him.

Jongin stays quiet on the other line and all Chanyeol can hears is his breathing. “What now?” He asks finally and Chanyeol closes his eyes and rubs his temple gently.

“I’m still thinking,” He answers and that’s a lie because he has been too busy trying to avoid thinking of what to do next. Should he call up his lawyers? What for? Raise it with Jongin or not?

“You don’t have –” Chanyeol knows what he’s about to say next so he interrupts him.

“I know.” He hisses, “I just need to…think,” He sighs, leaning beside the restaurant’s door. He feels like taking a walk, but he can’t leave his mother alone in there for much longer or she’ll come snooping around to find out why the phone call is taking him so long.

He clears his throat, “We can’t do this over the phone. When can I see you?”

There’s shuffling from the other side and that’s when Chanyeol hears the hushed voices coming from the background. His stomach turns. “Uh…” Jongin sounds distraction now, “When you’ve decided on what you want,” He says and it doesn’t sound like him. But does Chanyeol even know what Jongin sounds like? “I have to go, Chanyeol,”

He hangs up before Chanyeol even gets a chance to get a word in. He stands there, phone in hand for a few seconds before gritting his teeth and resisting the urge to slam his phone on the ground. He in a few big breathes before turning around and entering the restaurant.

He takes a walk around the nearest park with his mother and he’s distracted and he knows she’s curious, but she keeps her curiosity to herself.

He kisses her goodbye and waves her off a few hours later with a promise of seeing her again the following week. He takes his time walking back home and the second he reaches his house – his phone vibrates and when he opens the message, it’s from Jongin.

From: Kim Jongin

For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. – 8:38pm

()()()()

I took forever lmao I’m busy!

Also I have something up in case someone wants to request a mpreg! I know I just said I was buys but eh be swift because I'm only taking F I V E mpreg requests! Both EXO or BTS, your pick!  here now night loves