You

Its April 22th, 2015, the exact day your comeback MV released. You were satisfied because it reached a million viewers within 12hours. Not just that, your mind is wondering if he had watch the MV, how will he react?

If you were still together then he'll text you that he's really proud you, he'll tell you how beautiful you are in the MV, he'll cheer you up before you walk up to the stage and perform. Sadly, he's not here...anymore.

Its such a pity that he's always come into your mind for no matter what. When you're home, when you're out, when you're working, when you eat, when you sleep, he's always there, in your mind.

You'll lost whenever he suddenly appear in your sight, no words are able to come out of your mouth, you're frozen, everything or everyone around you seems just like a shadow passing by—you can only see him.And it is very annoying, you wanted to erase him from your thoughts and all, you've tried, nothing has ever worked out like you planned, and now you're running out of any idea how to forget him.

Bravo, Mr. Kwon, you got me.

Fast forward, its 5 minutes until his MV will be released, May 1st. You've watched their comeback teaser, you realized how much he changed, he's really a man now. Something came into your thoughts, did he even write a song about you this time? or he's already succeed on moving on?

Like how Bad Boy and Crooked hits you so much. He said on interviews that it was from his real life experience.

12pm — May 1st 2015
You've been in front of your laptop since 10 minutes ago, you were curious about his comeback. Although you didn't expect any songs he write for you, some part of you expected it. The MV was published, you quickly play it.

“Honestly, I've never fit in with the world.
Its been a long time since I've forgotten about love.
I can't listen to hopeful love songs anymore.
You and me both
We're just sad clowns, tamed and scripted.
I've come too far, I'm coming home.
I wanna go back to when I was young.”

He wrote that. Its been a long time since he has forgotten about love? I can't help it, unknowingly, my tears fell. He was awful, he's messed. Its because of me.

I need you to know, you're not a loser. I'm sorry if I made you to feel that way. If I could tell you that I already forgive you, even though not completely. He's been sick a lot of times and I wish I was there to comfort him.

He loved me but I gave him a goodbye.

Jiyong

12pm — May 1 2015
Loser is out. Did she watch it? Did she even remember today is my comeback day? Did she already asleep?

I want her to be here; she'll be texting me about the MV, she'll say good thing about me and cheer me up. We can watch this MV together. I'm such a fool, I let her go.

Why am I such a loser to hurt an innocent angel like her? She's so kind and innocent yet I hurt her. How many times I made her cry was countless. She's always there when I need her, but I have less time for her. She sacrificed herself too much for me. I remember I let her came home wet on the rain.

Flashback
“Baby, I'm home” I put my keys on the table.

I search for her but she's nowhere to be found. The floor was watery so I follow the path and I found her; there with a towel on her hand.

“O-oppa?” she stared at me.

“Baby, why are you-?”

“I-I was just taking a bath. Hehe” she forced a smile.

“You're showering with your clothes on?”

I stared at her, she seems so scared with my gaze. It hurts me whenever she acted this way just to avoid my anger.

“You can't lie to me”

“Oppa, I-”

“Let's go upstairs, you need to wash or you'll get sick”

I lead her upstairs after I wrapped a towel around her. She's shivering, she must be feel so cold. As soon as we reached our bedroom, I went to the bathroom that are connected to our bedroom and prepare her warm water with her favorite bubble bath soap in the bath tub.

After I undressed her, I help her to get inside the bath tub. I watch her red eyes, I feel guilty for letting her came home alone on the rain. Such a bad boyfriend I am.

“Why don't you just call me?” I asked her while gently clean her arms.

“I just dont want to bother you, oppa. I went out to buy dinner and its suddenly raining, I didn't bring an umbrella” she blinked a couple of times, she's holding her tears, she's scared, scared of me.

“You have never bothered me”

“I have. Yesterday you said so, oppa. Just like how your fans said, I'm just a kid who can only lean on you every time. I don't want them to see me as that kind of girl, I don't want to bother you.” she let her tears fell this time.

I feel guilty that I told her she's so annoying. Believe me, I didn't really mean it. She's not annoying. I was just tired of all the works, that's why. My fans has been jealous of her and since she's a lot younger than me, they make that as a reason why she doesnt deserve me.

“I didn't mean it when I say you're annoying. You're actually not. I was just angry, baby. Don't mind them for saying bad things about you, they don't know you. And do you know that I like it whenever you lean on me? I feel needed. Besides, I lean on you more, you didn't mind that, right?”

“No I didn't mind that. Because I love you, I'm willing to always be there for you.” her words stuck in my heart, I've never find a love that feels this right. I love her very much.

“See? So do I. Because I love you, I'm willing to always be there for you.” I replied which makes her smile, its a relief that she smiled again.
End of Flashback

I'm an .