Chapter 8

It was Friday night; the big night was here…. Eunsook was trying to get Gwiboon dressed for her date. But she was giggling and flinging her tiny foot around. The tiny colorful hose flapping around as she waved her foot around. “Boon, stop it.”

“Smell my foot mama.” She giggled.

“No, keep still.” She huffed as she grabbed her little ankle. “Stop moving, stinky head.”  She laughed and fought with her and finally got the other leg into the purple tights. 

“There,” She exhaled feeling accomplished. “Now to put on your dress.” Just then Gwiboon ran out of the bedroom and down the hall.

“Darn it.” Eunsook groaned and chased after her.

Her and her daughter both crashed into grandpa Jinki. Little chubby arms wrapped around his leg. “Papa! I don’t wanna.”

Smiling Jinki said “Are you hungry?” His grand baby smiled and nodded. Jinki softly yanked her off his leg and hugged her then handed her right on over to her mama. “Then, I think my date might need clothes. I can’t take you out to dinner .”

Eunsook held the toddler on her hip. Jinki proceeded to turn around in a circle showing them and said “See, I am dressed. I even got a tie on.” He eye smiled and tapped the tip of Gwiboon’s nose. “Beep. Now get your dress on missy.”

Gwiboon tapped her grandpa’s nose and nodded in agreement to getting clothed.

Eunsook just stared in amazement. “Dad how do you do it? She always listens to you.”

“Because I am the coolest grandpa ever. I would like that written on something. Like World’s Best Papa.. maybe on a shirt or a mug or something…. Just some ideas for my birthday.” He chuckled and walked away.

Eunsook sighed “Cute” as she watched him walk away. She then looked at her daughter “Why is grandpa so cute?” mother and daughter shared a giggle and went back to the room to finish getting ready.

Jinki was on his way to the washroom when the little girl bumped into him. He finally made it there but he couldn’t go into shave because Minho was in there shaving.

Jinki turned around and left and wondered back to his bedroom to wait his turn. He sat on his bed… on his wife’s side of the bed. He picked up their wedding photo that was on her nightstand. “I’m taking Gwiboon out to dinner.” He spoke to her image.  Family moments like this would sometimes lift his spirits but sometimes it would do the opposite; reminding him of what his late wife was missing out on and how he had to be a grandparent alone. He almost cried, his eyes became misty. He took another deep breath and lifted his head up, leaning it all the way back. Staring at the ceiling, facing heaven, holding back emotional tears, he spoke to her again “Like I always say, you’d love her.” The widower heard a door click, he turned his head towards the sound; he heard Minho leaving the washroom. He was about to glance back down to the picture in his hand but the closet door caught his eye. The hiding spot of the love letters, He whispered, “You would have like her too, Banana.”  Feeling guilty thinking of Taemin while holding his wedding photo, a tear slipped without his permission; Jinki placed the picture back on the nightstand and wiped his damp cheeks. He must look presentable and happy for his family. He cleared his throat and as always he pretends all is fine, pushing mixed emotions and memories away; he walked out to have his turn to shave.

……..

Meanwhile Taemin was a buddle of nervous energy. “Kibum, do I look ok? Is my tie straight?” Should I wear the pointy toe shoe or the rounder tip shoe? Is my tie straight.. did I ask that already? I think my hands are shaking. My hair is not working right today.”

“Dad it is going to be fine. It is just dinner. Just two old friends getting together for a meal. What could go wrong?”

“Um he could punch me in the face?” He mumbled nervously as he fiddled with his tie.

 Kibum laughed and placed his hands on his fathers. Calmly speaking he reassured “Look at me. Dad, he would not punch you. And if even he wanted to you’ll be in public so he wouldn’t. And why would he? You both made the promise to leave each other for a better life. It was mutual, back then you guys didn’t have a choice.” Taemin nodded; Kibum began fixing his father’s crooked tie. “And you said this man is sweet and angle-like, wouldn’t hurt a fly, right?”

Kibum finished the tie and they both faced the bathroom mirror. They locked eyes as Taemin answered “Of course, it’s Lee Jinki. The nicest man on earth.”

“See, so don’t be afraid.”

“You are right. Still nervous though”

“That is normal after seeing someone they use to know after years of separation.”

“This is so weird talking to my own son about this. I never would have dreamed of this when I was younger. I’d have a son telling me to go meet my ex-boyfriend.”

“Well, welcome to modern times dad.” He teased, with a playful nudge to his arm. They laughed then he asked “even though you’re nervous are you excited?”

“Yes, I have butterflies, don’t laugh.” Kibum did. Taemin continued. “Ok well how’s my hair?”

……….

The family had finished getting ready and were dressed so handsomely. Minho and Jinki in black suits and shiny black shoes with their dates, Mother and daughter dressed in their Sunday best for dinner. Ready for their night on the town Jinki opened the back passenger car door for Minho to place Gwiboon in the car seat. But Minho just smiled at him and walked away from Jinki’s car and to his own.   Before he could ask what was happening Eunsook got in the driver seat of Jinki’s car. “Get in dad; you’re taking me on a date. Minho is taking Ms Gwiboon.”

“But I thought my date was with Gwiboon so you and Minho could have alone time?”

“No no. I have a nice dinner planed just for you. I see Minho everyday at the butcher shop anyways and you see BoonBoon every day.”

“Well, the butcher shop is not romantic honey; you and Minho should have time alone.”

“Father daughter date. He needs time with Gwiboon and I need time with you. It’s called Bonding Time, dad, bonding. Now get in the car.” She laughed.

“Oh, ok this is nice. I miss time with my Sookipooh. Be right back.” He walked over to Minho who was buckling the baby into her car seat in the other car. He kissed Gwiboon goodbye. “Take care of my baby, son.”

“Will do appa Jinki.” Minho got in the car and rolled down the window and added in a playful voice, teasing his clueless father- in- law of what was about to happen at dinner. “And have fun tonight.” he winked then rolled up the window and drove off.

“I will.” Jinki said as he waved goodbye. He got in his car and said “Your husband is weird; I think he just winked at me.”

“aish, that man. ok anywayssss. So how about steak tonight?”

“Whoa did my birthday come a week early?” He chuckled.

“Maaayyybe” She sang with a cute little giggle.

…………………..

Jinki was very funny and had his daughter in stitches the whole ride there. They pulled up to the 5 star restaurant and got out. They were still enjoying each other’s company very much as they walked up to the building. Taemin was sitting inside waiting nervously, his stomach swarmed with butterflies. He turned to look out the long window that went the length of the restaurant and then his breath was taken away as he finally saw Lee Jinki, whom has aged gracefully. Taemin gasped, his heart sped up at the sight of his long lost love. Handsome as ever, Jinki was in a black suit and long necktie, and a medium length hair cut with just a tad of silver strands sprinkled in, shimmering like beautiful tinsel in the dark ebony that remained.

They walked into the building and Eunsook was holding her father’s hand as he leaned in to tell the host “Two please” While he spoke Eunsook looked around and spotted her father’s first love, Dressed handsomely as always. She smiled and waved to him and then whispered to her father before the host could reply. “Dad, I already made reservations. Well, actually someone else made them for us.” Taemin watched them from afar, his heart thumped so fast, he thought it’d burst.

Confused he hummed “Hmmm?” Jinki looked at her.

“Come, follow Me.” she led him away from the host. She was a ball of smiling sunshine, Taemin was still nervous as he saw them near his table. He sat up straighter and then Jinki finally saw him; they locked eyes. Jinki froze. Eunsook tugged gently on his hand. “Dad, come.”

Jinki blinked slowly then moved while stammering. “uh ye..yeah, coming.” He thought they would just pass his table but when Eunsook stopped next to Taemin, Jinki tensed everywhere. “Happy early Birthday, dad. I stumbled upon an old friend of yours when I went shopping the other day. I thought you two could catch up.”

With a lump quickly forming in his throat Jinki started to sweat, his heart raced. He couldn’t speak or remove his eyes from the younger older man.  The moment: surreal.

Taemin smiled warmly, his eyes glimmered moistly as he held back tears. “Taeminah?” Jinki breathed.  The cobbler stood up and embraced his old flame and whispered for his ears only. “It’s ok, Tokki. Please join me.”

Overwhelmed with emotions from the past and present times flooding him, Jinki couldn’t let go; he burst into tears, his embrace became tighter as if he were to let go Taemin would fade away forever.  He didn’t even think of what it would look like because to him the world around him dissolved instantly once Taemin called him tokki; he buried his face in the other’s shoulder and repeated himself over and over while he sobbed “Taeminah, Taem, oh Taemin. Please don’t let me wake up.”  Taemin was crying softly and silently; he rubbed his back and hushed soothingly soft with a tremble in his quiet voice and lump in his throat. “shh, hyung. It’s ok, I’m here now. It’s not a dream. I’m right here. Ok?” He calmed him. “Your Eunsook found me. I’m not going anywhere.” Taemin pulled out of the hug slowly and looked him in the eyes. He held his tokki’s cheeks and thumbed over his tears, locking eyes with him. “It’s great to see you, hyung.” A teardrop rolled slowly down Taemin’s smiling face.

Jinki smiled, and sniffled “It’s great to see you, Taemin.” He chuckled weakly and rubbed his own eyes. Then mumbled to his daughter “Tissue please.”

Eunsook wiped her eyes as well. First she took a tissue for herself and handed them both the travel size bag of tissues “You both might need these. Keep ‘em.” She giggled softly as another tear fell from her wet lashes.

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you Sookie. It’s just I am overwhelmed. I… I don’t know what to say. This is my friend. He lived nearby when I was a child. We haven’t seen each other since...” He trailed off and glanced towards Taemin nervously. Taemin gave a tender smile of understanding. “Since… well, it’s been a long time.” Jinki finished.

“Too long” Taemin added softly. Jinki smiled that same old smile Taemin use to see every day as a kid and loved more than anything. They keep staring for a moment then finally Jinki cleared his throat and returned his attention to his daughter.

“Don’t apologize father. It’s understandable.” She hugged him.

“You have no idea what this means to me. Thank you for stumbling into him.”

She knew what it meant to him, but of course couldn’t admit it and embarrass her father and ruin the night. Taemin nodded at her knowing she knew. Eunsook and Taemin shared a smile over Jinki’s shoulder. Taemin gestured for Jinki to sit down. “Hyung, will you join me?”

Ending the embrace she sighed happily “Well, then I must be going. Minho and Gwiboon are waiting for me. I’ll let you two get reacquainted. I’m sure you have lots to talk about.”

Surprised Jinki asked “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah, I got a date too.”

Implying they were having one too, Taemin and Jinki couldn’t help it but blurt out in a mumble “It’s not a date.” They looked at each other and chuckled. Force of habit when around each other in public and old habits are hard to break.

“Um, ok. Well, you two have fun. Love you, dad. Nice seeing you again Mr. Lee.”

“Thank you Eunsook.” He said as he pulled out the chair for his hyung to sit.

Jinki felt nervous all of a sudden, he almost asked her to stay. He watched her leave then slowly turned around and sat down. Taemin was smiling big and bright sitting across the round table from him.

There was a moment of silence where they just stared into each other’s eyes. Neither of them knowing where to start. Jinki fiddled with the white table cloth that was draped down the side and tickling the top of his lap. “I… I own Shiny Soul.” Taemin started.

“I owned the meat shop but I gave it to Eunsook. I’m now a stay at home mom.”

Taemin laughed. “So I’ve heard. Gwiboon right?”

“Yes, Gwiboon.” Jinki paused then said what he was thinking “I’ve missed that laugh.” Jinki sighed happily.  “So what about you? Does the banana have grandbabies too?”

“No. Kibum isn’t married.”

“Kibum? You named your son Kibum.”He laughed happily “I don’t believe it. You kept you’re promise too. oh wow.” He almost started to cry again.

“Hey, don’t cry. We’ll both get dehydrated if we keep crying.”Taemin teased.

Jinki laughed along. He sighed again “This is nice, laughing together again. Man, I really missed this. I have missed you all this time. Thank god Eunsook needed shoes.” He chuckled weakly.

“I missed you too hyung. Every day. And you named her Eunsook. Like, we both did it. We are parents. It’s amazing. Thank you for naming her.”

“Thank you too for naming your son Kibum.” He took a deep breath to remain calm “I’m nervous. You don’t think people saw me cry on your shoulder do you?”

Taemin smirked cutely “No.” He snickered.

“Good.”

“I’m nervous too hyung. But let’s eat, it should help us relax. But this time I will pay for it.” He joked playfully. “I have money now. I’m a grownup.”

Jinki laughed “Yes, yes you are. We both grew all the way up. All the way up to 60's.”

“Hey I’m still younger than you. I ain't 60 anything." He chuckled

"You will be soon." Jinki teased cutely.

Taemin smiled "Well, at least we didn't grow all the way up to our 90's yet." 

“True.” Jinki chuckled “Do you know what you want?”

“The same thing I ate the last time.” Taemin answered.

They shared a smile “Me too” Jinki replied with a handsome grin…..

The waiter came and they order their meal, the most expensive steak on the menu. They ordered the exact same thing they did years ago the last time they came here together, the day before Jinki left for the army. The first time they came, Jinki had taken every odd job in town and worked his off for his father at the butcher shop until he saved all he could so he could give Taemin a night to remember until his return from the service. After the waiter left Jinki spoke up.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to ask. How’s your wife doing?”

“Um, well, she is ok but she isn’t my wife anymore. She left me for a guy named Kai.”

“I’m sorry to hear that Taemin.”

“It’s alright, it happened years back. I’m sorry to hear about the passing of your wife. Eunsook told me.”

“Yeah, she passed before Stinky was born.”

Taemin cracked up “Stinky ?”

“Well, she wears a diaper. Sometimes her name is miss diaperbuns. You have got to meet her. She is adorable. Eunsook and Gwiboon were the best things I ever did.”

“I know how you feel, Kibum for me. Let’s do a toast to awesome kids.”

They clinked their glasses together.

“I would love to meet this little adorable girl. If she is anything like her mother or her grandpa then I know she will be amazing.”

“May I meet Kibum?”

“Of course.”

Jinki took a sip of water then spoke again “We are both a bit nervous still and cracking jokes here and there to stay calm. But you know what? This doesn’t feel awkward at all.”

“No. No it doesn’t.” Taemin placed his arm on the table, and opened his hand, palm face up. Jinki took a deep breath, exhaled slowly as he placed his hand in Taemin’s.  They stared at their aged hands for a moment “It’s been years” …touching… both their hearts began beating like it did when they were younger, a teen in love. Jinki softly murmured dreamily “Still fits in mine.”

The other murmured quietly just as dreamily “Your hands are warm. They were always so warm.” The moment was peaceful, like time had stopped. They looked up; right at as they made eye contact and saw the other had been blushing slightly with misty eyes, the dinner came to the table, interrupting and bringing them out of their moment.

Taemin and Jinki both wiped their eyes and cleared their throats as he placed the food on the table.

The rest of the dinner went smoothly. The ex lover’s ate and reminisced about the good old days and caught each other up on their lives – the good and the bad. Talked about their health, wives, and children from when Eunsook and Kibum were babies till the age they are now.   There was laughter, and smiles shared. The past quickly reaching the present… The night neared its finish.

“I can’t eat another bite, Teminah.”

Stuffed to the brim, the shoe maker sighed heavily, “Hyung, Why did you let me order this much food?” He took a sip of his wine, swallowed and sighed again “I can’t eat like a 17 year old anymore.” He snickered weakly and amused while beginning to regret that 16 oz steak… He took another sip.

Jinki giggled. “Maybe this is why we got married. Wives would have told us to stop eating. You and I would have gotten fat by the time we were thirty if we lived together.”

Taemin laughed and almost spit out his drink; he shot his hand to his mouth, cupping his chin hoping he didn’t dribble down his chin. “Our brake up, at least we can laugh at it now.”

Jinki sighed … he wasn’t so sure… his faced dropped: completely serious all of a sudden.

The younger senior felt the atmosphere change and asked “Hyung are you ok? Taemin asked but the waiter came with their check. They were silent as Taemin paid for the meal on his credit card. When he was finished Taemin stood up “Let’s go for a walk. Get rid of the fat we just made on your tummies.” He weakly laughed trying to lighten the mood and read Jinki’s mood.

Jinki smiled softly “I’d like that. Talk more privately?”

Taemin nodded; Jinki stood up. After putting on their elegant jackets and Taemin his black posh leather gloves they walked out…

In the crisp December night they walked the city sidewalk;  A long while went by before either of them knew what to say but then Jinki’s voice cut through the brisk night air.  “To be honest, I’ve been depressed more and more lately. It has always come and gone since you and I parted ways but after She died, I can’t seem to sleep well just like all those years ago when we left each other. I think of you even more than before and then I feel guilty about it. Like would She be upset with me? Now seeing you tonight, I’m excited and happy but I feel upset with myself I got so emotional before dinner and even a few times during dinner and the guilt of tonight is there in the pit of my stomach. What if Eunsook finds out about our past? I try to hide my pain from her and try to forget about it. I like to get lost in the play world with Gwiboon, where everything is always happy. I don’t’ know if any of this is making sense. I do not regret having dinner with you. Talking to you. I’m truly happy to see you and catch up on life.  It’s just a lot to take in how we’ve grown, the lives we’ve lead since then. The what if’s. And I am worried how Eunsook will feel if she ever finds out what you were and still are to me. I don’t feel awkward just… I just feel strange and really nervous all of sudden again. Sorry for running our dinner, our night, Bananna.”

“Hyung, you are not ruining anything. We were finished eating anyway. I don’t regret it either Tokki.” Jinki had been watching the pavement move under his feet. He stopped walking and looked up and saw Taemin smiling at him. “You called me Banana. I missed that.”

“Me too.” Jinki smiled and reached for Taemin’s hand. The other gave his a tender squeeze. They started walking again and Taemin spoke up. “Do you know how nervous I was coming here? When I first met your daughter I almost fainted; you look so much alike. Then she asked me to come to your birthday party. I said sure but then I chickened out then after she asked me a 2^nd time I agreed. Then before I came here tonight. I almost didn’t come. Kibum told me I had to come. If anything this gives us closure or a new beginning. Your wife would not be upset. She’d want you to be happy. Jinki, I’m your friend and always will be. I’m here now. I will not leave again. I need you as much as you need me, trust me.  And did you know, when I was getting dressed tonight I thought you’d punch me in the face.”

Jinki snickered “Why?”

“I don’t even know.” They laughed and shared a caring smile. “Actually because I thought you’d be mad at me. What if you thought we made the wrong choice when we were younger? And this is my entire fault anyways. If I never yelled at my dad and blurted out that I loved you. It wouldn’t have pushed him over the edge forcing me into marriage. We could have had time. We could have run away or something.”

“Taemin, you know now that is silly right? Your dad would have found out regardless. Run away? Run away to where? We both made the choice together remember? We literally had no other choice we could have made. It is neither of our faults. We did what we had to do. And I know you do not regret it. I don’t either. In the end getting married was worth it because we are proud parents of two amazing kids right? Like you said: we did it. We survived it all and it was worth it. If we were born now-a-days maybe it would be different for our kind. But it’s too late; we have to live with it.  My late wife could be looking down on me right now from heaven, and it makes me feel strange… and I can never tell Sookie I’m gay. We made the choice together back then but we’ll still be living this lie if we remain in each other’s lives. We are going to hurt ourselves again. We are going to have to say goodbye after tonight. And that is killing me, and that is another thing that I noticed before we left the restaurant. Guilty about my wife knowing I am with you tonight, and the fact I have to leave you again and of course Eunsook. Poor thing just wanted me to meet an old friend. She didn’t know what she was doing. That I’d have feelings for you, extremely strong feelings for you and what that would do to me emotionally.”

“Plenty of people re-marry after their spouse dies. The one in heaven would never want their partner to be lonely, they wouldn’t be upset if the one living found someone or bumped into their 1^st love. You deserve happiness Hyung. We are just friends right? But if we weren’t it’d still be ok is what I am trying to say. She would understand that we had a moment there at the restaurant and I didn’t’ mean any disrespect with my joke back there in the restaurant. My son knows I’m gay. Before I came tonight I told him about you. He knows exactly who I was meeting and why. He knows I care for you. I came to help you. I want my happy hyung back. Please let me bring back the happy.  I came to be in your life again. Please let me, don’t push yourself away because of our choice back then. Don’t punish yourself anymore. Today I stop punishing myself, join me and don’t punish yourself too. Heck I’m still nervous saying all this.”

“He does?”

“Yes, I couldn’t hide you anymore. I don’t want to anymore. We are old enough now to say and do as we please. Let’s choose us this time?”

“But I can’t, Seeing you will make me… . And I can’t hurt Eunsook. She has no idea that I’m… I don’t’ know how to tell her. She’ll think I never loved her mother. She’ll think… bad things about me. What will Minho think? And little Gwiboon? A gay grandpa? What if when she grows up and goes to school, others make fun of her because of me? This lie hurts every damn day of my life Taemin but I do it to protect them, you know that. It’s still the same as back in the day as the kids say.” Sighing heavily, Jinki ran his fingers through his hair.  “How’d we even lie for so long? Hide who we are? Living a double life kind of, two parts of myself I hide… I .. I can’t take it. I want to tell Sookie but at the same time I … I just can’t.”

“I have to confess something to hopefully ease your mind.. I.. I lied to you only once in  my life. How Eunsook ran into me at my store? It’s not true. Well, it is half true.”

Jinki stopped walking again and turned his head slowly, with a cocked eyebrow he asked hesitantly “What do you mean?”

Taemin took a deep breath and confessed “She knows.”

“Knows what exactly, Taemin? What did you tell her?”

“She found your box with my picture, my name, and our love letters. She looked me up on purpose. I told her I wouldn’t tell you. But I can’t, I can never lie to you. Sorry Eunsook.” he mumbled the last part.

“She … she knows? She isn’t angry? She doesn’t mind? She isn’t freaked out by me? About us?” He breathily asked in shock.

“She doesn’t mind. She says she didn’t read all the letters. She said she stopped as soon as she found out what they were.”

Confused, Panic started to rise in his chest “Oh my god this is so embarrassing I need to sit down.” Jinki walked over to a bench along the sidewalk and sat. Taemin sat beside him.

“What do I do? I’m so lost right now.”

“Never leave me?” Taemin asked shyly

“I..I.. I ” Jinki’s mind went blank he couldn’t speak.

“I know Jinki, I understand.” He patted his leg; Jinki stopped him by scooping his hand in his, holding it tenderly. “Help me, Banana.”

“I will, don’t be scared Tokki.”

 Their was a moment of silence as he let Jinki ponder. “Tok? Would you like me to go with you to tell your children officially?”

“How’d you tell Kibum?”

“Um, well.” Taemin started laughing awkwardly. “It wasn’t pretty.” He took a deep breath “ My wife kinda, ruined it for me. She and I were having a fight. He overheard it. It was pretty nasty.”

“I’m sorry.”

“He was cool with it though. She accused me of being gay before she ever cheated on me. Then when I found out she had cheated on me. I was hurt by her actions and we fought a lot. And one fight she called me gay again and said how I can’t please her, she kind of got graphic with explaining how. That hurt my feelings of course, I’m a damn human.” He wiped his eyes. “That is what Kibum heard. So embarrassing and emasculating that moment was. After That fight things had quieted down, I told her and I told Bummie together. She cried and Kibum didn’t say anything. Kibum was almost a teenager at that time. He was more mad that mom cheated , he was cool with me though. The other day was the 1^st time I told him I’ve been gay my whole life and my father made me marry her.”

Jinki started crying silently with him. “Taemin, that is so horrible. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Now, I kinda feel like a jerk. Me telling you how my marriage was good besides secretly missing and loving you and loving her at the same time, it was an ok marriage other than that. And.. And all this time yours wasn’t. I didn’t mean to rub it in your face.”

“I didn’t take it that way Jinki. Don’t worry its cool. My Ex Wife and I are friends now, took years but we are; we worked out all our issues. She has apologized profusely since the divorce. She married that man she had been sleeping with.  You happy though, it’s what I always wanted. You are not rubbing my face in anything. I wanted you to be married. I wanted you to become this adorable grandpa. My dream did come true just a little. So it was worth it.” He wiped his wet lashes and chuckled “How many times are we going to say that tonight?”

Jinki weakly chuckled as well. “We are going to be alright?”

“Yes, we both will be.” Taemin looked around, no one was on this lonely street; he rested his head on Jinki’s shoulder. Jinki placed his on Taemin’s; they watched the stars twinkle above them.

There was a peaceful silence until Taemin sighed. “It’s a shame our fathers weren’t as supportive as our children are.”

“mm” Jinki hummed in agreement.

It was nice just sitting and staring at the stars like the old days while resting on each other. Jinki’s voice was so quiet, but somehow Taemin heard him. “I didn’t answer your question from earlier…  My answer is yes, we are friends. I was over thinking everything. I feel better now.”

 “It’s understandable. We’ve always had to over think everything to cover who we are. But not anymore, Tokki.”

 “Not anymore, Banana.”

After half an hour of enjoying one another’s company in the peaceful silence Taemin softly squezzed Jinki's hand, and rubbed his thumb over the back of his hand. “Come, Let me drive you home, hyung.”

Feeling really happy, for a moment Jinki forgot how old they were and asked “You can drive?”

Taemin giggled “Yeah for decade’s hyung. There are lots of things I can do. I can even vote.” He teased.

“Whoa, that was weird I thought … it felt like we were teenagers again.”

“In our tree house right? Staring out our little skylight we made?”

“Yeah.”

“I felt it too. It wasn’t a stupid thing to ask if I could drive by the way. Because I was thinking something just as “stupid” about driving you to your parent’s house then I realized you do not live there and I have no idea where you live now a days.”

They both chuckled and walked all the way back to the parking lot so Taemin could drive him home.

 They had a great time on the ride home.  It was midnight by the time they arrived; Taemin got out of the car and walked Jinki to his door. Jinki whispered “I had a great time. Come to my party?”

“It would be my honor, hyung.”

“I’ll tell Eunsook and Minho later maybe after the party that I’m gay. I’ll think about how we should do it. But I want you to meet my family. Bring Kibum too; I really want to meet him.”

“I’ll bring him, I want him to met you too. I can’t wait to meet this Gwiboon. I‘ve heard so much about.” The conversation trailed off because Jinki was so handsome and Taemin got lost in his dark brown eyes and dreamy smile. He sighed cutely then whispered “Night Tokki. I’ll see you on the 14^th. Or sooner?” He winked.

Jinki blushed.

“Oh your cheeks are pink are you that cold? Taemin teased, and cupped his cheek.

“shh, Taemin. Let’s not wake the kids.” Jinki said bashfully. “Night Banana.” They paused there a moment looking into each other’s eyes again. “I really don’t want to go.” Jinki whispered.

“Me neither but at least I know this time I won’t have to wait a life time to see you again.”

Jinki replied with a hug; they stood there in the embrace for a solid two minutes.  Jinki voiced “Don’t ever leave me again.”

“I won’t. Ever. I’m here for good this time.”

“Good.” Jinki pulled out of the friendly hug with a big caring smile.

Misty eyed, Taemin murmured “I missed that smile”

“Stop making me blush.”

Taemin giggled “I didn’t mean too.” Jinki smirked at him and turned away to unlock the house door.

He stepped inside and turned around “shhh, Nighty night Taeminie.” He smiled; they locked eyes and for the 2^nd time tonight time stood still…. Their bond so tight…

They were first loves, now two ex lovers, even after all these years they were still two best friends… But as they stared at one another caringly, happy to see one another something stirred in both their hearts… love, their love always lingered inside them and that old flame sparked back to life… true love never dies…

The two friends smiled and broke eyecontact before one of them could blush “Nighty night hyungie” He smiled and gave a cute wave as he turned to walk away. Jinki stayed at the door, his heart beating fast and his tummy swarming once again with butterflies as he watched the handsome gentleman get in his car. With giddy feelings of love Taemin waved from the car window; Jinki waved one last time as Taemin started the car. He drove away and Jinki sighed dreamily finally closing the door once the car disappeared into the distance.

But what do they do with this feeling that was bubbling up inside them, this connection. Date? Stay friends? In love all these decades could they admit their love and confess openly to the other at this age and most importantly could Jinki tell his family. Time will tell…