Chapter 11

Standing in front of the mirror Lee Jinki straightened up his tie. He re-combed his hair. “ugh” He groaned discouraged.

Eunsook over heard him as she was passing his room. “Dad? Everything ok?”

“No.”

She knocked and opened his door as she stepped inside his room. “Can I help with something? Oh wow you look nice!”

  “Should I dye my hair? I’m gray over here annnd here too.” He pointed to his sliver strands playing pee-a-boo in his ebony hair. “I’m so old looking. When did I get old?  He is not going to want to be my boyfriend if I look like my father.”

“psht, Dad really? You are so handsome. Old? My appa is no old fart. He is a distinguished gentleman, dignified, and you look dapper. Your hair looks fine. You already saw him twice. Dinner and your birthday. Why all the fuss now?”

“I’m old, Sookie. I’m not as attractive like I use to be. You’re just saying that because I am your dad. ” He leaned into the mirror, and slid his hand across his slightly rough cheeks. “Old.” He touched by his eyes, his fingers tracing his wrinkles. “I have crow’s feet, look at this.”

“Ok so faint lines around your eyes but they aren’t deep ugly wrinkles. I have some too. We are all older than we once were. Wrinkles are like badges of honor. They say “I lived my life.” and you lived a full life, with ups and downs, it shows but not in a bad away. It’s something to be proud of.”

“No its not. I’m.. I’m not cute any more. I’m not the young hot hyung he remembers. What if “

“Hot hyung?” She giggled. “ew dad”

“Shut up.” he blushed. “I’m serious.”

“You are hot dad, trust me. Mom thought you were hot stuff. The old ladies at church think you are hot stuff. Taemin really thinks you’re hot stuff. You. are. hot. Stop worrying. Taemin looks really hot too, right? ”

“Well, yeah he is Lee Taemin.”

She chuckled. “What I mean is. Do you think Taemin is an old man? Or not good lookin’?”

“No, Taemin looks exactly the same. He’ll always be handsome no matter how old we get.”

“I bet he feels the same about you. You are as young as him. He doesn’t think you aged either, I guarantee it. So, stop looking into this mirror and look into Taemin’s eyes, his feelings are your true reflection.”

“The body ages but the heart and soul never does?”

She nodded. “See? It doesn’t matter.”

He shrugged “It kind of does. I still want to look good.”

“And you do. Trust me. Love never ages and if it does it only gets better with time, like wine, and a lot of time has gone by, So I bet the two of you have some powerful love deep in you. Now go enjoy your date and share the love over a nice dinner.” She hugged him and when she pulled out of the hug she looked down at his feet: he was wearing the birthday present Taemin made him. She returned her gaze to her father “Nice shoes.” She smiled. “Now go pick up your date.”

Jinki smiled “Thank you. Should I change this suit though? Should I wear the blue one instead or is this black one fine?” He ran his fingers through his hair; accidently messing it up.

“Do not change. You look handsome dad. For real, he’ll like you just the way you are and your outfit is flawless. And stop fussing about with your hair.” She combed her fingers through his hair: fixing it….

Across the city Taemin was just as nervous. He harassed his son all day. Taemin wanted to buy a new suit, and he tried on every pair of shoes he had in Shiny Soul in his size asking the whole time “Do these look good?”

“Yes for the millionth Time dad.”

“What do people even do for dates now a days?” He said sliding his foot in a different shoe.

“They eat dad, same as back in the day. But now a days, they don’t ride dinosaurs. They use these things called cars to get to where they need to go.”

Taemin shot him a look “Do not be a smart Bummie. “

“You are too nervous for no reason. I said wear these shoes and you refuse too. They look best.”

Taemin slipped the shoe Kibum liked on and off two more times and asked “But are you sure?”

Kibum tired really hard not to roll his eyes at his father, he groaned dramatically “oh my god dad. Yessss!”

“I’m not nervous. Ok yes, I am nervous. Should I wear cologne? I think I should put some face cream on. I got this wrinkle right by my lip.” He pointed to his mouth. “See it? Do you think Jinki will notice it?”

“Jinki thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread. He thinks you’re very handsome. I can tell. I saw him blushing a few times at the birthday party. You guys are first loves, and it’s clear to everyone you two still are in love. He doesn’t mind how you look, love is more powerful than just looks, it’s about whom you are not how you look. I mean really, you look fine. Hang on let me pull out my magnifying glass to see those laugh lines by your mouth.” Kibum dug in his pocket and pretend to get a magnifying glass form his jeans and leaned over his father trying to find the wrinkles with his invisible glass.”

Taemin laughed and shooed his playful son away from his face.

Kibum chuckled but resumed talking “You were nervous and almost changed your mind at first about going to the party remember?  He still deeply cares for you and you had thought beforehand that he wouldn’t like you or love you anymore.  Weren’t you happy to be wrong? You think you look bad, or old, I know for a fact you’re going to be happily wrong again. He asked you out that night. He must still love ya. It doesn’t matter, wrinkles or not, gray hair or not, Love is timeless. I wonder if Eunsook is telling him this same stuff, I bet he is just as nervous of what you’ll think of him because how much he cares for you. Relax tonight, be yourself, because after all that is who he fell in love with. And finally you guys can hang out on your own without hiding or all of us in your way. Be confident, be happy and have fun. I love you dad and it’s going to go very well. Your tokki is waiting for you.”

Taemin took a deep breath and started to relax “As old as I am, I must look rather silly being nervous like a little school boy.”

“Nah, you’re not being silly or foolish, dad. You’re human. And I understand you just want everything to be perfect. But think about it like this, you are not a boy any more but a man and this is you and Mr. Lee’s chance to make it right. You’re lucky dad, not everyone gets a do-over, a 2^nd chance in life. No one is telling you no anymore. He is excited and happy and chooses you so there is nothing to be nervous of anymore. It’s the advice you’d give him right?”

“Right.”

“And yes before you ask again, you look handsome.” Kibum reached out his hand, to help him up. Taemin took it and stood up. Kibum fixed his hair, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. “You’ll do fine, the hard part is over.”

“It’s strange how; the parent becomes the child in a way. I feel like I’m a teenager going on his first date.”

He chuckled “You don’t look old, and you feel like a teenager because love will do that to anyone, because the heart stays young.

 “I love you Kibum.” He hugged him one more time and then his phone buzzed.

They came loose from the embrace; Taemin dug his hand in his pocket, getting his cell. “It’s Jinki. He texted me. He says he is on his way.”  They started scurrying about…

“Stop trying on shoes. Wear these shoes, the black pea coat, and the black tie, with the white dress shirt.” Kibum hurried.

“Yes, yes. Hurry help me. urgh and I still need to put on my face cream.” Taemin reached for the correct shoes, while Kibum picked up the suit pants they had bought earlier, which was lying next to where Taemin had been sitting. They raced from their showroom floor and into the back office and up the stairs to their apartment to get him dressed and ready.

About a half hour later Jinki walked up to Shiny Soul. He looked up at the old brick building, the sign above the door. Memories flooded his mind of visiting Taemin here many times when the younger use to work here as a teenager.  He took a deep breath and knocked on the glass door.

Kibum whispered “you look great.”

“Thank you.” Taemin said. 

“Stay out as late as you want dad’

Taemin blushed “shh. How’s my hair?”

“It’s perfect. Have fun. Night.”

“Night.”

Taemin came out to the showroom floor and walked across to the front door and saw Jinki waiting with a smile through the glass door. Jinki waved, Taemin gave a small wave then unlocked the door and opened it up.”Hello, Taemin.” “Hello hyung.”

The lights turned off. “Kibum did that from the office room. He’ll lock up after I leave.” Taemin informed his date. Jinki nodded. “Are you curious as to where I am taking you?”

“I am.”

Jinki was brave, he took Taemin’s hand in his “My first location is..” He walked Taemin not out of the shoe store but into it. Taemin was confused. They stood in the center of Shiny Soul. “Here.”

“Here? My store?”

“All week long, I prepared a special date for you. To bring us full circle. From our past to our present. We never had a real date. We ate at a restaurant before but it was all we could do back then. Now we can do so much more. Ready for your frist surprise?”

“Yes?” 

In the dark, Jinki leaned forward and kissed Taemin softly and chastely on the lips. Their 1st kiss in decades. Taemin smiled, Jinki leaned back and looked him in the eyes and explained. “When I was in the army you wrote to me saying: how you wished to kiss me in your father’s store. I re-read all the letters this week. I almost forgot about that letter. In the army I remember thinking of that certain letter all the time. It was a bit racy.”

Taemin blushed “Hyung shh, Bummie is here in the back room.”

“With the lights off he didn’t see. And we aren’t going to do the other things in that letter in the store.” He giggled.

“Tokki” Taemin giggled. “shh, you’re embarrassing me.” Jinki kissed his forehead.

Took his hand and walked him out of the store. Luckily their private moment stayed that way, Taemin’s son hadn’t heard it but he did hear the door close. He locked up the store.

…..

Jinki pulled up to his Meat shop and deli. He parked and got out. He came around to Taemin’s side of the car and opened the door for him. Helping him out. “I prepared a meal earlier for us before I got dressed up for the evening. Minho, is heating it up for us. It should be ready now."

“Wow, you did put a lot of thought into this.”

“You have a lot of time to think in 40 something years.” He opened the doors; he held the door open for Taemin. Smiling, Taemin saw one of the small tables draped in a white cloth with a glass skinny vase with a single yellow rose in it.

“I remember, you telling me you wanted to cook for me one day.”

“Yes, and I cooked this all myself. You finally made me the finest shoes and I will finally feed you.” He smiled cutely.

Taemin giggled “I can’t wait.”

“Well, first let’s take that coat.” Jinki helped Taemin with his jacket. Jinki put it on the coat rack in the corner of the dining area along with his own.  Then walked back over to his date to pull out the chair for Taemin to sit. Once seated Jinki draped a napkin over his lap. “Thank you hyung”

“I’ll be right back with the food.” He excused himself.

Taemin checked his reflection in the shiny silverware on the table. He giggled to himself, he truly felt like a teenager on his first date. Jinki was just as nervous but neither let it show. Soon Jinki came out of the kitchen and around the deli counter with a platter filled with food.

 “BBQ or honey smoked?” Taemin thought about it a moment and couldn’t answer “Can’t make up your mind?” Jinki chuckled.

“I can’t . Which is the better of the two.”

“They are both the best.”

Taemin tilted his head “I still can’t choose.”

“It’s ok. I thought you’d say that.” He placed a plate in front of his 1^st love. 2 triangle halves of two different sandwiches, of course one half was BBQ pulled pork sandwich and of course Jinki’s plate had the other half. The other sandwich was honey smoked Chicken with a side of steak potato fries.

Taemin laughed “How’d you know I’d want to taste both?”

“I know you.” He smiled shyly. He placed his own plate down. He pulled another table closer to place the platter down, just close enough to reach it. On it was samples of all of Jinki’s meats he had glazed, cured and smoked, boiled, broiled, fried himself. 

 “I know sandwiches aren’t fancy but…”

“No, hyung. This is perfect!”

“I smoked the meat myself. I use a special honey on the chicken. It’s a family secret, this recipe.”

“This is exactly what I wanted. I always wanted to taste your juicy meats.”

Jinki laughed “Careful Taemin that sounded dirty.”

“oh yeah.” Taemin chuckled.  “oh my, I don’t know what to taste first.”

“Take your time to decide. I have all night.” Taemin looked at the sample platter of assorted meats and back to his 2 half sandwiches cut so perfectly. Meanwhile Jinki lit a match and lit a candle and placed it on the table near the vase. “I made up my mind. Chicken first then I’ll try one of those steak bites on the sample try.”

“Oh, I forgot our drinks.” Jinki got up and hustled to the kitchen.

 Taemin giggled “hurry back hyung. I’m starving.”

Jinki came back with not wine but Taemin’s favorite drink.  “Pepsi?”

“Oh yes, please.” He held up his wine glass, while Jinki poured him the fizzy pop. He took a sip and giggled “The bubbles tickle my nose.”

Jinki chuckled “You’re cute.”

“Thank you. Now, let’s dig in.”

Jinki waited to see his date’s reaction. The succulent flavors graced his taste buds, Taemin moaned it was the most delicious thing he had ever eaten, including that expensive steak they ate 2 weeks ago. “Hyung, this is amazing.” He complemented. “No wonder your business is so successful.”

“The rumor is my ancestors use to cook for the King of Korea and when our government changed and there was no more royal family, my family opened up this place.”

“I don’t think it’s a rumor. It has got to be true. This food is fit for a King. You should open up a full blown restaurant not just this meat shop and deli.” He took another bite. “Oh god yes.” He said with his mouth full. ”Eunsook owns this shop right? Well if you make a restaurant you could pass it on to Gwiboon.”

Jinki chuckled and felt proud. “Maybe. I’m just glad you love it.”

“I do. I give it 5 stars. No, 60 stars.”

“Wait to you try this.” Jinki said excitedly, picking up a sample and brought it to Taemin’s lips. Taemin blushed slightly and opened his mouth, his lips accidently brushing Jinki’s finger tips as he took the food from him. The elder’s cheeks flushed just as pink.  Taemin's eyes rolled back into his head from the tender mouthwatering scrumptiousness. “Oh, my goodness. Each one is just as good as the last. You are better than your parents I think.”

They ate everything Jinki had made and drank the whole 2 liter of pop. Taemin and Jinki reminisce about times they use to hang out here while Jinki’s parents worked and Taemin didn’t want to wait for him at the tree house. They also thought about times Jinki would come and visit him at the shoe store too. They didn’t run out of conversations at all, not even as Taemin helped him clean up everything and bring the plates to the kitchen. Jinki washed them, Taemin dried them. If you think this isn’t date-like and mundane, to them it was perfect: doing every day things with each other they never get to do together, it was fun. 

Sitting back at their table they continued the lovely conversation.  When the candle had gotten so low it almost burnt out the elder of the two asked. “You’re not tired are you? I still have to show you something.”

“Not with all that Pepsi I just drank. I’m so wide awake.” he chuckled.

“Good. Ready for another surprise?”

“I was born ready, Tokki.”

……

They had gotten back in Jinki’s car and were riding along when Taemin asked coursily “Where are we going?”

“I’m taking you to my place, not my current house here in the city, wouldn’t want to wake the kids and all plus that is not romantic.” He chuckled at that last bit. “We are going to the old one. When my parents died they gave me their house in their will. I still own the house and that land behind the house. I wanted to give it to Eunsook when she got married. But her mother started to get sick around then. So Minho and she moved in with us and they just ended up staying to take care of me and because it’s round the corner from the butcher shop too I guess.”

“I own my parents house too.” Taemin smiled softly. “I don’t know if you remember but my parents rented out the 2^nd floor of the shoe store when I was growing up. Well, when I got my divorce I moved in there. And when they died I just stayed. It’s close to work, all I got to do is get dressed and go down stairs ya know. Why do the drive if you don’t have to. Kibum lives there with me but on weekends he stays at my parent’s house sometimes. Too many memories, I can’t sell it but I don’t know if I could live there again either. It gives me mixed emotions. ”

“Well, then let’s make new memories there?”

 “Was that your plan?” Taemin smiled softly.

“Yes, that is the surprise. I want to walk in the woods like we use to. Maybe check out our treehouse.”

Taemin almost cried, he wiped at his eyes and exhaled slowly. “That is very thoughtful. I’d like that.”

Jinki smiled and with one hand on the wheel the other reached out, palm up; Taemin placed his hand in his love’s hand and gave it a soft squeeze.

…………..

They pulled up to Jinki’s childhood home. Taemin looked around “Wow, I haven't been here in ages. And most of the time I only remember seeing it from the back. The treeline” He pointed to the back of the house as he walked around the car to Jinki’s side.

“Let’s go shall we?” Jinki made sure to close the front of Taemin’s coat. “Stay warm.”  Taemin blushed like old times then took the elders hand for him to lead the way. Around the side of the house, Jinki unlocked the side gate. They walked through the back yard, finally reaching the tree line they shared a smile then entered the woods together hand in hand with excitement, hearts a flutter….

Besides the sound of crunching dried leaves on the forest floor and a twig or two snapping under their feet, the elderly couple walked in peaceful silence as the moon followed them above the treetops; their old path bathed in the moonlight cutting through the leafless winter branches.

Jinki saw the beginning of the creek, just a slow trickle for this time of year but it was just as pretty as he remembered in the moonlight. “There, we just follow this.”

Taemin giggled “We’re getting closer.” They shared another smile and walked quicker.   Following it until Taemin saw it: The place of thier first kiss – The tree house! Taemin saw the ladder dangling from a tree. “Is this it?” He dropped Jinki’s hand in his excitement; he ran up to the tree and tugged on the rope. “Our Tree! Oh my god, it’s still here. It didn’t rot away or something.” Taemin’s eyes began to mist. “Our parents never found it.”

“Thank god.” Jinki sighed happily looking all the way up the trunk “Our first home together.”  Then he paused a moment as he thought aloud. "Was it always that high up?” He chuckled “Is the ladder rope safe?” He gave it a little tug too.

“Why you want to go up?” Taemin looked at him beaming ear to ear.

“Do you?” He smirked at him.

“Yes” they said at the same time.

Very slowly they climbed the tree. Taemin’s hip popped. The sound made them both laugh. “I guess we are getting older huh?”

“It’s ok, my knee creaks all the time. If you are quite enough you can hear it.”

Taemin giggled. “Hang in there we are almost up.” He encouraged but then looked above his head as he clung to the ladder that wobbled. He saw the treehouse floor, which seemed a mile away. “Damn, you’re right, was this always this high?  I don’t remember getting winded coming up here.”

Jinki chuckled again. “We’ll make it, Banana. We have to.”

“We have to install an elevator I’m getting to old and out of shape for this.” Taemin remarked; they shared a laugh and continued on.

Finally they reached the platform. Taemin climbed up and then leant a hand to Jinki. They sat on the platform a moment with their legs dangling down as they caught their breath. The hard work was worth it for the view: The creek down below, the moon above, all alone away from the rest of the world.

“It’s beautiful, Tokki. I missed this and you so much. Thank you.”

Jinki stood up giving Taemin his hand. Taemin took it and stood up too. “Close your eyes.” Taemin did what he was told. Jinki turned him around and walked him inside the house, the familiar strong fragrances of oak hit their senses but unlike years ago a faint scent of musty old wood accompanied it, from some of the boards that had started to rotten from years of rain …. Years ago when Taemin was 14 he had carved holes into logs of wood making candle holders of the logs. He and Jinki polished the wood and placed them around the tree house, they were still here…..

 After a moment of hearing some shuffling Taemin heard Jinki whisper “Open”

Taemin opened his brown eyes to see Jinki had brought a few small tea lights to fill the wooden candle holders, for the whole tree was glowing prettily just like it use to do when they visited the tree house at night.  “Surprise.” Jinki whispered.

 “Whoa, it so pretty. Just like when we… Jinki.” Taemin started crying “Tokki, I love it. This old tree, this house, best parts of my life happened here.”

“Expect one. I left you crying here when you broke up with me. I was crying, you were too. The pain of that day. It haunts me. I had to tell myself “it’s for the best” over and over just like you had to do: the whole point of our break up. You told me to leave and never look back.  So many nights I dreamed of you, I’ve dreamed of reuniting with you. Talking with you, laughing with you, holding you, and kissing you. Loving you fully. We lived our lives like we planned, got married and had children. We made our pact in here but long before that we dreamed of a future together in here. We also kissed for the first time in here, we made love in this old tree, gave our ity to one another…. Tonight, this date, this was a tour of our lives right? From the shoe store to here… This is the last step of the tour. The creek just below where we first met. The tree house where we last parted ways.  After all we have done… Now it’s time to make a new pact, right here.  Let’s go to our original plan, a life together.”

Taemin’s lip began to tremble. Overwhelmed with emotions, he couldn’t’ speak. Jinki whispered softly into the night air as he walked closer. He cupped the side of Taemin’s cold face “May I love you again my sweet Banana? Promise me we’ll never part again, never leave me again? Support me emotionally, care for me.  If we date, if you accept, I vow to never deny you are my boyfriend in public, you can’t either. Our children have been understanding with all this but I’m slightly nervous still to be so open, surprisingly not around them since I know they truly care but nervous when we’ll encounter people our own age, our generation of people. We both know they won’t be so nice and opened minded about it but if we do do this, we really do this. Because now that you’re back in my life I can’t ever let go. I don’t care what they think of us as long as you are with me. I can’t lie anymore.”

The younger senior’s voiced warbled; a lump had form in his throat. He managed to squeak out ever so quietly “Yes, yes of course, Tokki.” He smiled, as his eyes welled up with tears. He gently stepped closer to the older man. Laying his cheek on Jinki’s chest, he wrapped his arms around his waist. “Yes.” he mumbled over and over softly. With happy tears of his own Jinki held him and rocked him side to side. Jinki balled Taemin’s winter coat into his fist as he held him tighter.

“I thought you’d never ask” Taemin murmured. “I’m never letting go.” He sniffled “You know, I thought I was coming back into your life to help you, and hopefully I have.”

“You have. It’s a start. I’ll get there, we both will, Taem.”

“What I mean is, you’ve help me just as much, hyung. I didn’t realize I had bottled so much up inside myself.”

“I didn’t fully know I had either. But with the support of each other and our kids we’ll get through this. We always have. And with each other anything is possible. It feels so freeing.” A tear slipped from Jinki’s eyes.

“It sure does.”

An old love but a new pact, a start to a new life…  Jinki heard him sniffle” I’m so happy.”

“Me too” Jinki smiled with a tear in his eye; the older of the two leaned back from the hug and with his finger he tilted Taemin’s chin up, locking eyes with him; the candle lights flickered, casting romantic shadows on the wooden walls, the light dancing in their eyes. The night air was so calm and quiet; Jinki murmured the words he longed to say for over 40 years “I love you.”

Taemin responded warmly with a beautiful smile. “I love you” as a tear rolled softly down his cheek.

Jinki placed his last surprise off the night on the younger older man’s lips. A soft breeze in the trees in the back ground outside their windows serenaded them, the soft glow of the candles highlighting them, the masculine oak fragrances floating on the gentle wind; the elderly gentlemen’s embrace tightened as they melted comfortably into the romantic kiss. Decades of pain washing away. Happiness bubbling up inside the long lost lovers reunited at last, Taemin deepened the kiss to Jinki’s delightful surprise. It was the same, the taste, the scent, the warmth of the other. Fimaliar, long overdue, happy, lovely. Right. 

They slowly parted away with rosy cheeks and soft smiles. Jinki slid his hand into Taemin’s and walked him in the corner where they use to sit by the window; boards creaking beneath their feet… “Careful, don’t get a splitter.” Taemin warned caringly; Jinki seated himself first. Taemin sat down and leaned on Jinki’s shoulder; fingers tangled together as they gazed out the window.  Despite the colder weather, they were warm and cozy cuddled on the floor. They talked most of the night thinking of their new lives together dreamily, warmly like years ago.

Even though times had moved on and changed, in someways it didn’t feel like it had. Good memories remained and hope of new ones to come. Their dreams finally a reality.  Life is short and they lived most of theirs apart, after everything they had been through and at their age they didn’t want to waste any of it as they talked about new hopes and dreams they currently have for some had changed as they grew older.  Apart of them wished to stay here frozen in time in their own safe world above the trees... long ago they use to wish that out of fear of coming out but now it was because of peace and privacy. Oh how lovely it was to be together again in one another’s arms.  But even though they wished their date would never end; to freeze time and stay up in the tree house they were also eager to start their new life together. Hours of talking, and the candles dwindling away in the breeze and slowly snuffing themselves out as the wax dripped down the wood, without even realizing it sometime after watching the sunrise they had happily fallen asleep …..  Jinki snuggled closer for warmth, Taemin cuddled closer “Tokki.” he murmured happily in his sleep. “Love you” Jinki murmured sleepily… Things would never be the same and this time that was a good thing.