„Are you staring at her chat window again?“, Donghae sighed when he entered the living room and found Eunhyuk sitting on the couch with his phone in his hands.

„No.“, Eunhyuk spat.

Donghae went over to him, snatched the phone and rolled his eyes. „Just talk to her already.“, he said.

„How can you suggest such a thing?!“, Eunyhuk wanted to know. 

Donghae shrugged his shoulders. „Because I see that you miss her.“

„I can’t talk to her.“, Eunhyuk said sadly.

„Why not?“, Donghae asked and let himself down next to Eunhyuk.

„Because of everything she did.“, Eunhyuk tried to explain.

Donghae remained silent for a while. Ryan was still a topic that was hard to talk about. Heechul had acted as if nothing had ever happened. And Donghae had decided to roll with it. He wasn’t mad at Heechul, he was mad at himself for not noticing what had been right in front of his eyes.

„But she didn’t exactly do anything to you.“, Donghae brought over his lips. 

He didn’t want to see Ryan again, because it would hurt his heart way too much. But that didn’t mean that he wanted Eunhyuk to suffer from this loss. Eunhyuk and Ryan had been friends since forever and the last thing Donghae wanted, was to ruin that.

„Aren’t you mad at her?“, Eunhyuk wanted to know. 

Donghae shook his head. „I don’t know the entire story, so I actually can’t be mad. I’m disappointed. And well, maybe I’m even mad, but I try not to be.“, he stated.

Eunhyuk slowly nodded. „Don’t you want to know what exactly happened?“, he then asked.

Donghae made a face. „I’m not too sure about that.“

„How come?“, Eunhyuk asked since he actually was burning to know the story. Though he would never ask Heechul about it.

„I don’t know if the truth would be harder to endure than what I’m imagining.“

„That doesn’t sound too good.“, Eunhyuk said and again sadness sneaked into his voice.

Donghae sighed. He hated to see his Hyung like that. „Seriously just talk to her.“, he then said.

 

It was weird to actually respond to the endless text messages that Ryan had sent to Eunhyuk. She told him how sorry she was and that she wanted to explain the situation. 

Donghae knew that Ryan had texted Eunhyuk, though she hadn’t texted him one single time. He had to admit that not knowing if she had texted Heechul, was digging a deep hole into his heart. 

„Do you have anything that I should ask her?“, Eunhyuk asked when putting on his jacket.

Donghae leaned against the door frame, a weird feeling capturing his body. He shook his head.

„Okay.“, Eunhyuk said. „I’ll be going then.“

     Ryan was nervously running up and down in front of the cafe she was supposed to meet Eunhyuk in. She was thirty minutes early. As soon as she had read Eunhyuk’s message, she had hurried outside her apartment. She didn’t know what she was awaiting. Maybe he wasn’t coming to forgive her. Maybe he would make another cut and this time it would be final. Although last time seemed to be final as well. But Ryan didn’t give up, because she didn’t want to lose Eunhyuk as her best friend.

Eunhyuk spotted her right away and slowly approached.

„You came.“, Ryan said and she sounded relieved. 

Eunhyuk didn’t say anything, only looked at her. He wasn’t too sure whether it had been the right decision to talk to her or not.

„Do you want to go inside?“, Ryan asked.

Eunhyuk nodded and opened the door to the cafe. He went straight to an empty table and Ryan followed him. She hated the mood between them and didn’t know what to do next. She had never been in such a huge fight with Eunhyuk before.

„Do you want anything?“, she asked.

„Americano.“, he simply answered. But at least he did say something.

Ryan went over to the counter to get an americano for Eunhyuk and a caramel macchiato for herself. Although she didn’t feel like drinking something sweet right now. She was nervous as hell and felt a little sick because of that.

„Here you go.“, she said quietly when she put the americano in front of Eunhyuk.

„Thank you.“, he said.

Ryan looked at him, searched inside of his face for something to help her. But there was nothing but bitterness. 

„I’m really glad that you came.“, she started. „I want to explain everything to you.“

„Seriously Ryan, I don’t even know if I want to hear your explanation.“, Eunhyuk then said.

Ryan looked hurt and his words made her feel even worse.

„I know.“, she said. „I know, I don’t deserve this. But maybe if you understand what…“, she couldn’t even finish her sentence, because she felt so guilty.

„First I need to know something.“, Eunhyuk said.

Ryan looked at him and a hint of hope arose inside of her eyes.

„Did you have contact with Heechul since?“, he spat.

„No.“, Ryan quickly said and shook her head to emphasize her answer.

„Okay.“, Eunhyuk simply said and took a zip of his americano. He didn’t really know why he asked her that question. It was mostly out of curiosity because he knew Ryan hadn’t texted Donghae. 

„I’m really sorry, Hyukie.“, she said and stared onto the table. „I didn’t want this to happen. Seriously.“, she added.

„Then why did you do it?“, Eunhyuk asked her.

Pain captured Ryan’s eyes now. It was hard to talk about what had actually happened. 

„I don’t know.“, she said.

Eunhyuk sighed. He started to get mad again. „When did you sleep with him?“, Eunhyuk asked.

It was a weird topic to talk about, but he had to know the details. 

„When I was still staying at the hotel.“, Ryan carefully said. She knew she had to spill everything in order to solve this argument.

„I knew there was something going on.“, Eunhyuk said and squinted his eyes. „But I tried to ignore it. I don’t know exactly why. Maybe because I didn’t want it to happen or maybe because I knew what Donghae felt for you.“

Donghae’s name made her heart ache and she flinched.

„It was a one-off and I ended it when Donghae asked me out.“, she quickly said.

„Was it? Really?“, Eunhyuk rose his eyebrows. He didn’t know if he should believe her words.

Ryan nodded and balled her hands into fists. 

„So nothing happened after that night?“, he wanted her to confirm.

Ryan took a deep breath and looked Eunhyuk in the eye. She didn’t want to tell him. „We met a few times. We played together. And…“

„And?“

„We kissed. But I swear after I went on a date with Donghae I told him that this couldn’t happen anymore.“

Eunhyuk didn’t like what he heard. Not only because of Donghae but because of himself. He was the one who liked Ryan in the first place. But that didn’t matter even for a second.

„I’m honestly sorry. I don’t know why I did, what I did. I really like Donghae. I should’ve ended things with Heechul as soon as I had realized it. But I’m just stupid and weak and cling on to the person that pays attention to me. That’s why I never had a long lasting relationship. I always ruin it with my behavior. I don’t know how to change, I tried to many times. I thought I would do better this time. But I ended up hurting everyone.“

„What are you going to do now?“, Eunhyuk asked her. 

Ryan shook her head. „I don’t know. I just want you to forgive me. I want Donghae to forgive me, although I know I’m asking too much.“

Eunhyuk sighed again. „I don’t know if I can forgive you. I can for sure not speak for Donghae.“

„I know I screwed up. I just want a second chance. I want to prove that I can do better.“

Eunhyuk nodded. „I’ll probably take some time, but I will try, okay?!“

Ryan nodded and her eyes sparkled. She almost started crying because of what Eunhyuk had said.

     Ryan’s phone rang. She made a face and turned the phone upside down so she wouldn’t see the screen anymore.

„Who’s that?“, Eunhyuk asked. He wondered if it was Heechul.

„My boss.“, Ryan said.

„And you’re not going to pick up?“, he furrowed.

„I’m scared she might fire me.“

„Why would she fire you?“, he asked.

„Because I’m not doing what she wants.“, Ryan said. She was happy that Eunhyuk and her were talking about a rather normal topic, though she didn’t want to talk about work.

Eunhyuk rose his eyebrows and stared at Ryan.

„Don’t give me that look.“, Ryan said.

„Ya! Watch it. I didn’t forgive you yet, so you better tell me everything I want to know.“

„My boss wants to have you and Donghae for the May special issue.“, she sighed.

„Me and Donghae?“, Eunhyuk asked.

„Because of your comeback.“, Ryan explained.

„And you weren’t going to ask us? Since when do you know?“

„I don’t know. A few months.“, she shrugged her shoulders.

„Call her and tell her, we’ll do it.“, Eunhyuk said.

„No.“, Ryan refused. „I don’t want you to do it. I didn’t want this job in the first place, because of the way I got it. And now my boss even tries to use me. I don’t want to be like that and I don’t want you to save me again. And especially not Donghae.“

Eunhyuk shook his head. „What happened with Donghae is one thing. But losing your job because of your stubbornness is just stupid.“, he wrinkled his nose.

„Please don’t do this.“, Ryan said sadly. 

„Give me your phone.“, Eunhyuk demanded and waved with his hand.

Ryan shook her head and pouted.