Review for Hourglass:

->Story title [2/10]:

-Your title could be better, it is just too plain, and it is not eye-catching for me, and I would just pass by it and if I weren't your reviewer. You could have added a little bit more sense to the title.

->Poster [-/5]:

There is no poster, that's why this part won't be included.

->Description/Foreword [2/20]:

Actually, I would have given you 0 out of 20, but because your short description has given a bit sad and romance taste, I decided to give you 2 out of 20. Besides, there is nothing that urge me to continue reading your story. You should have added more information or described a bit about your story, or you could write a neither-too-long-nor-too-short summary about your story, so that the readers would at least know what the story would be about. 

->Plot/Originality [15/30]:

Your plot is not that original, I mean there are a lot of stories with plots which a boy would leave a girl because he had got cancer and died. Then, the girl would stay alone, crying every day, and waiting for him or something like that. A lot of authors have used that plot. The way you wrote your story did not make it seemed so clinched, though. It was really nice, and not too rush. Also, the idea about that hourglass was also kind of unique. However, I was a little bit confused about some parts. You know if you want to write about past, please write in italics.

->Grammar/Spelling [11/20]:

There aren't any spelling mistakes, but there are a lot of grammar erros about using past tense. If everything already happened in the past, you should use past tense to describe about those actions.

-The way you automatically smile, as if you can't help but be happy, while you uttermy name; the way you lips shapeit, or the way your voice caressesit, makes it seem like it'sthe most wonderful word in the world. It makesme feel like I'mthe most wonderful person in the world.

->smiled, couldn't, uttered, shaped, caressed, made, it was, made, I was

-Then, your eyes never leavingmine, you would hold both my hands in yours.

->left

-Youwill clasp one of them tightly and we would walk down the hall, side by side.

->would

-When we get outside, I would run to the swings, and you would push me up.

->got

-"I love you. Truly, I do. Please..." Tears streamfrom your face. Your knees buckle, and you crumpleto the ground. Your hand clutchesyour heart, as if you'reholding the pieces of it together.

->streamed, buckled, crumpled, clutched, you were

-Your whole bodyis shaking from the strength of your anguish. For several minutes, all you cando is sob. And all I can do is watch.

->was shaking, could, could

-Then, you whisper, "Please...understand. It's time to let go. Farewell."

->whispered

-You'relooking up at me beneath my window.

->were looking

Since that girl was just imagining and describing about her boyfriend,and since all the actions already happened in the past, the boy already left her, that's why we have to use past tense.

->Characters [15/15]:

You focused a lot on emotions which I did like. The girl was described quite well because crying, missing her boyfriend, how she missed his smile, how she missed everything she used to do with him etc have shown that she truly loved her left boyfriend, and she was so sad to live without him. Therefore, I think you have done good job about describing characters!

->Writing style [13/15]:

Your writing style is not that bad, and it's not that good either. By the way, I was confused a lot about present and past time, that's why you should have used italics for the flashback or the past time action. Still, there aren't many dialouges in your story which is nice because good story would never contain too many dialouges.

->Overall enjoyment [2/5]:

It may be because I am picky reader, but I didn't enjoy reading your story that much. I meant normally I would be a really emotional person, but while reading your story, I just felt normal and did not cry at all. Therefore, I think it could be better.

->Bonus [2/5]

Total: 62/120

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Annyeong readers!

So as you can see I didn't get a very good score :D I will do my best to get better tho, so please keep reading my stories ^^

Also, I just want to clarify that the girl is the one who died, not the boy. The story is written from the girl's ghost's p.o.v.

Sorry if this was confusing >.<