It feels so surreal, Joohyun could only think, looking at the red words glaring at them, she had dreams like these before, when she was younger; every person who went into the room, never came out alive or at least on the road of recovery. Yonghwa would be different, would he not? He is the healthiest out of all of them, he does not smoke, drink and even live a very clean and stable life. Therefore, why was it him?

What went wrong?

Minhyuk taps her shoulder, bringing her out of her daydream, wiping her own tears before accepting the cup handed out to her. He does not say a word, sitting next to her, giving her a pat on her shoulder. He must be hurting as badly as she was, if not at a bigger scale. She brings the cup up to her lips, blowing softly in it. She catches Yonghwa’s parents looking in her direction, she tells herself this is not the time, only Yonghwa manners right now, only him, he is the core-

The words dim, signalling the operation is over. She gets up on her feet, shoving the cup into the trash bin next to her, running towards the surgeon. His gloves smeared with blood, Yonghwa’s blood, lightly tugging his mask off with a sullen expression. She shakes her head, he is going to tell them good news, Yonghwa is back on his two feet, ready to meet them the next day, only that the words coming out hardly fits the description she had badly wanted.

Everything is suddenly moving in slow-motion, his mother collapsing on the floor, crying out Yonghwa’s name while the surgeon apologises before excusing himself from them. Minhyuk slams his fists against the wall next to him, apologising to god knows who while she stands with glazed eyes, is this real?

She is the last one, she walks past his parents’, his mother clinging onto his father for support. Joohyun pushes the door aside, the smell of disinfectant hits her first. Taking a deep breath, she approaches him. She drags the plastic chair to the side of his bed, taking a seat as she touches his arms. Stone cold, just as one would expect, only it did not seemed real two hours ago. Being with him right now, after he had been officially pronounced dead, holding his hand wishing he would entwine their fingers together.

“You know,” she starts off, “I thought it was just another prank by you. Only you would go to such extend to get a reaction from me. I’m so sorry.” She falls next to him, clutching his lifeless body.

“Why are you dead? You’re not supposed to be dead! You should be holding my hand, telling me everything is going to be fine. What do I do now?” She wipes her tears, only to have fresh ones falling right into place.

“Remember a few years back? We promised to go through anything together, who is going to do that with me now? You know I would only trust you, and only you, so why did you leave me? What is Minhyuk going to do without you? What about your parents? I know you don’t like them, but you’re their favorite, did you know that?”

Minhyuk gently shakes her shoulders, telling her they would have to leave so they would take his body down for burial purposes. She gives out a small ‘okay’, standing up, hands trembling as she says her last words. “We will meet again someday.”

Joohyun does her hair up, just like how he likes it, a sleek ponytail for him to practise his braiding skills. She would reprimand him for using too much force which usually ends with her showing how to do it all over again. He would make the best father, she told him and he agreed so quickly it made her questioned why she even said it aloud.

The atmosphere is tense, however it is different from the other times in the past when they had dinner over at his place, nothing could compare to this.

Joohyun watches every familiar face going up to give their last respects to Yonghwa. It had been almost a decade since she has last seen them, or even planned to. They were left in the past for a reason: they were not the nicest person around, and she could hardly believe these were the same people who taunted them.

Would Yonghwa forgive them? She would, if it means he would have a peaceful afterlife.

She stays until the last minute, even after they carried his body to be cremated hours ago, she could not bear to watch the process, it is too much for her to even explain it in words, so she stayed back, staring at the projector screen with his slideshow playing, showcasing his different experience in his entire twenty-five years of life.

Then, it suddenly blanks out into total darkness. “He wanted me to show you this.” Minhyuk holds the dvd up when she turns around in confusion. “Watch, alright?”

It takes a while for him to prop the disc in, but when he got it to play, it shows Yonghwa in a hospital gown, maybe two, three days ago? Joohyun bursts out into tears, looking at how much weight he had lost within a month. She was not there to be with him, she was overwhelmed with work, if only she had taken the hint and applied for leave, but what is done is done.

She could see him fiddling with the camera, trying to set it in place, only for the camera to fall from its place again. He was never one to be with technology anyways. She could hear Minhyuk’s voice from the recording, helping him with the equipments then he crossed his legs and takes his seat in front of it.

“So,” he started off, “by the time you’re watching this, it would mean that I’m gone from this world, and from your side. I didn’t tell you from the start because I didn’t want you to get hurt, but it ended up being this way.” He blinked his eyes repeatedly, keeping the tears from falling.

“I never wanted to hurt you, I swear to god, everyday could only be complete from the time you get up and the time you go to sleep at night. As creepy as it sounds, I mean, I don’t always watch you sleep, but that is the only time you would have a calm expression, not worrying about anything at all. I swore to myself to make up to you for lost times, just so I could see a speck of happiness in your eyes. And I did, you might not recall it, but I never forgotten how excited you were when we were visiting the aquariums. I wish I could bring you there for the last time, however, I could hardly get out of bed.”

Yonghwa looked away from the camera, most probably looking over at Minhyuk as he said, “Will you bring her to the aquarium one day?” Minhyuk must have said yes, because he broke out into a grin, nodding to himself.

“I love you, Seo Joohyun, I really do. We will meet again someday.” The video ends, reeling in all the memories over the past years they had been together in her mind, with every little fights to late night walks in the park, god, she could never look at anyone the same.