The steady stream of tears just wouldn’t stop. Four hours of crying, and yet Luhan’s eyes were still pouring endlessly just like the pain that never ceased in his chest. The world around him was falling apart and all he could do was lay in his bed, limbs heavy and numb. The soft sounds of his hiccups and sobs filled the room as new waves of pain washed over him.

He loved Sehun. All the other guys in his past had just been silly flings, but with Sehun he really felt something. People called his heartless, an ice cold . None of them understood that it just took someone like Sehun to ignite a fire in his heart. For eight months he fought with Sehun almost everyday, but at night they would always end up in each others arms. Luhan wasn’t stupid. He knew his relationship with Sehun had been toxic and unhealthy, but he didn’t give a damn.

None of that even mattered anymore.

Sehun was gone, and he was left alone with a heart shattered to pieces. He told Luhan he found someone else, someone he loved in a way he could never love Luhan. It hurt so ing much to hear those words out of Sehun’s mouth.

All Luhan could do now was cry and pray for the pain to just go away.

He curled up on the bed into a fetal position and whimpered until sleep overcame him.

Upon waking up Luhan could feel warmth encasing his body. Arms were wrapped around his waist, holding him against a hard chest that fit behind him perfectly. For a moment his heart spiked, thinking Sehun had come back.

His eyes shot open and he turned himself around.

All of his hope vanished as he was met with the sight of his best friend, Kai. He forgot Kai had keys to his apartment, he rarely used them after Luhan started dating Sehun. He really hadn’t seen much of Kai at all since the night he threatened Sehun to leave Luhan alone and punched him square in the jaw. The funny thing about it was, Kai was the one who introduced Sehun and Luhan.

Kai and Sehun met in a dance class at the college and were pretty good friends until he started dating Luhan. Kai watched Luhan cry of Sehun almost everyday and after four months he snapped. Luhan still saw Kai here and there, but usually when they got together it only resulted in fighting and both would leave bitter and angry.

Right now Luhan didn’t care if he had Kai were still on bad terms. He wrapped himself tightly around his best friend and shoved his face into the tan male’s chest while tears pooled again. Kai instantly started to rub his back and held him close to try and comfort Luhan.

They laid there for an hour or two while Luhan took comfort in his close friend until his growling stomach caught Kai’s attention.

“Come on Lu,” He whispered softly into the smaller male’s ear, “You need to eat something.”

Luhan didn’t want to move, but Kai wasn’t going to let his best friend starve. He stood up and pulled Luhan into his arms and carefully exited the bedroom to head for the living room. He gingerly placed Luhan down on the couch and told him to stay there while Kai padded off to the kitchen to look for some food.

He returned shortly after with a sandwich and some fruit and a big glass of water. Luhan looked at the food on the living room coffee table blankly with no intention of moving to eat it.

“You have to eat Luhan, this is not worth dying for.”

“Yes it is.” He replied numbly. Luhan knew he didn’t really mean that, but he could barely think properly at the moment. Sehun wasn’t worth dying over, but he was still Luhan’s entire world. Losing his everything felt like someone set off an atomic bomb in his heart and turned it to ashes.

Kai’s hands grabbed onto his tightly. Luhan glanced up to see worry and sadness deep in his best friend’s brown orbs.

“Please.” He paused as a tear slipped down his cheek, “Please don’t say that ever again Luhan.”

Instantly he regretted what he said and nodded. Kai rarely cried, so the shock he felt from his best friend’s tears helped Luhan pull himself together a little for the sake of the last person he had in his life.

“Sorry that was thoughtless of me.” He lifted a hand and wiped the stray tear off of Kai’s tan cheek.

Everything fell into silence again as Luhan finally forced himself to eat a little. He wasn’t able to keep a whole lot down, but he did manage to eat half of the sandwich and some of the fruit which was more than Kai thought he would eat. He chewed slowly and bit off little pieces with his eyes glazed over and blank.

Once he finished Kai cleaned up the food and put it away in the kitchen. While he was gone Luhan got up and went back to his room. He collapsed onto his bed and just laid there, motionless and frozen.

He met Kai when they were in high school. Luhan was a sophomore and one of those quiet kids who didn’t talk much and mostly kept to himself. Kai was a freshman with a big reputation of being a player. Fate threw them together when Luhan was asked to tutor Kai in science by his old teacher. One thing led to another and Kai took his ity after only four study sessions. He awakened the ual beats inside of Luhan and the two of them remained friends after. They only had once and Kai dumped Luhan like all of his other conquests, but after a few weeks Kai started to hang out with him and the two went along together perfectly.

Luhan would never tell him now, but back then he used to have a huge crush on Kai. He did for years actually until Sehun came along. His feelings never developed too far because Luhan knew Kai would never love him, but he could easily have fallen for his best friend if Kai ever gave him a chance. Well before Sehun happened that is. Now Luhan questioned whether he could ever feel something again after the whole Sehun punched in his heart.

After a few minutes Luhan was pulled into sleep again and he went into the black void willingly.

When he woke up Kai had left for work and he was alone again to just lay in bed and let the pain attack him over and over.

This was how Luhan spent the next two weeks. He never left his apartment, and Kai stayed with him whenever he didn’t have school or work. He took care of Luhan and made sure he ate and took care of himself. He even had to shower with Luhan because his best friend would end up crying and curled up at the bottom of the shower otherwise.

“Luhan you need to get out of this place and do something.” Kai sighed and nudged at his shoulder while sitting next to him on the couch.

“Why?” Lu whined, “Where would I even go?”

Kai sighed in exasperation and stood up with a determined glint in his eyes.

“Come on lazy get up, were going out and you have no say in the matter.”

Luhan groaned and shot a glare up at his best friend before he pulled himself up. This was so pointless, nothing could make him feel better so this was all in vain.

“Fine, but I don’t want to be out too long.”

For the first time in those two weeks Kai’s lips spread into a beautiful smile that Luhan loved so much. His best friend had this special smile he saved only for him that was completely genuine and heart stopping. Even after all of the pain Sehun caused him he could still feel his heart quicken at the sight of Kai’s smile.

Kai drove them a short distance to a huge park. They both got out of the car and started to walked along the cement path. All around them people were enjoying the nice day and playing a sport or climbing the jungle gym. The sun felt unbelievably nice against Luhan’s skin. He didn’t want to admit it, but this had actually been a really good idea. Kai always seemed to know what to do to make Luhan feel better.

“Come on,” Kai grabbed his hand and tugged him towards the empty swing set with a childish grin, “Let’s be little kids again.”

They both sat on the swings and Kai instantly started off strong while Luhan only swung lightly. He let out a real laugh for the first time since Sehun left when Kai swung so high he nearly fell off of the swing.

“Careful doofus, you’re all I have left.” Luhan rolled his eyes.

Kai shot him a smile before he walked behind Luhan and started to push him lightly.  To the people around them they looked like a young couple in live, despite being two young men. They were in their own little bubble and Luhan felt happiness. The sadness and pain were still there, but the small bit of happiness he was enjoying made it all more bearable.

They played on other parts of the playground like two little kids for a while. Kai showed off his excellent balance skills by walking across a beam that held a sliding bar and Luhan yelled at him the entire time to get down before he hurt himself. Thankfully, Kai got across just fine and acted all smug afterward.

For a short time Luhan was acting more like his usual self.

When the sun set they went back to Luhan’s apartment, but he left just tiny bit better than before.

Two weeks turned into two months and Luhan was too considerably better. He stopped skipping his classes and even got a job working at the same coffee shop Kai did. He kept himself busy to stop himself from seeping back into his depression. The sadness always found him at least once a day, but now he felt so much better. He owed Kai all of his happiness because his best friend was relentless in helping him and making Luhan feel better. Thanks to Kai Luhan was rarely ever alone.

Luhan was at work currently, taking orders from customers and flashing them his brilliant smile. Many girls would look at him from the other side of the counter with blushing cheeks and googly eyes. Even a few guys found his charm irresistible.

Sadly, Kai wasn’t working today, but he promised Luhan he would pick him up after his shift so they could go out to eat something together. They had taken to going out at least two or three nights a week to eat or see a movie. Luhan loved his best friend for putting so much effort into helping him through his breakup.

His shift only had ten more minutes left so Luhan was excited to leave. He was all the more cheerful with each customer. When he looked up to his next customer he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Can I take your order sir?” He asked and stifled another laugh.

Kai his chin and playfully pretended to think. “Hm I think I know what I want.”

“Alright, what is it then?” Luhan rolled his eyes.

“Do you happen to be on the menu?” Kai shot him a wink and leaned on the counter. His joke flirting made Luhan’s cheeks tinge red and he rolled his eyes.

“Sorry to disappoint,” A small grin appeared on Luhan’s thin lips, “But I’m priceless. You wouldn’t be able to afford me.”

Kai put on a pretend devastated face and sighed dramatically, “How heartbreaking, I’ll settle for a large coffee then.”

“Coming right up sir.”

Luhan put in his drink order and the customer behind Kai gave them both a weird look. Kai took up the habit lately of flirting with Luhan in a joking manner to make him feel better. It was all very sweet, he just wished Kai wasn’t so damn charming. Whenever he said something corny like that it made Luhan’s old feelings light up again and more heart break was the last thing he needed.

After the ten minutes were up he changed quickly in the back and left with Kai. Tonight they were eating dinner in a new Italian place that just opened up a few days ago. Luhan had mentioned about wanting to go there and Kai called in to make a reservation.

It was more expensive than their normal places, but spending a little extra every now and then was okay. They made sure they dressed appropriately in nice clothes that were casual but still looked very well put together.

Once seated Luhan looked around in awe. The restaurant was beautiful, the walls filled with beautiful paintings and the interior design was so stimulating to the eye.

“Kai I love this place already.” He smiled with a twinkle in his pretty eyes.

Kai returned his smile and nodded, “Me too, it’s so much nicer than I expected.”

Their dinner was perfect. The food was to die for and the two of them exchanged a light conversation after their meal. After they left Luhan expected to just go home, but Kai had other plans. He drove them to the Han river and parked.

“Let’s go walk by the water, I have too much energy to go home.”

They walked along the path in a comfortable silence, Kai intertwining their hands. All of this was both unsettling and exciting for Luhan. On one hand he was scared to let himself feel anything for his best friend again, but on the other he felt a small glimmer of hope that he thought would have been impossible two months ago.

“You know Lu,” Kai broke their silence, “I had planned the ask you out the day you and Sehun told me you were dating.”

Luhan stopped walked and gaped at Kai in shock. Why was Kai telling him this?

“I was scared for to feel something for you, but when I finally accepted I loved you I was too late.”

He turned and slipped a hand onto Luhan’s cheek to caress it. Kai’s eyes held so much emotion in them it overwhelmed Luhan. All this time he felt the same way but he was too scared to say anything, just like Luhan.

Tears threatened to spill onto the older male’s cheeks.

“Why are you telling me this Kai?” He choked out.

Kai’s gaze was soft and tender. He grabbed Luhan’s hand with his other hand and pressed it against his chest.

“Because this heart,” He smiled gently, “My heart has beat for you since the day I met you. I was stupid back then; I didn’t want to be rejected so I just settled for being your friend. I thought it would be enough but it was never enough. I watched you go through different guys every week and change into someone who cut out all of their emotions. It killed me to see you like that Lu.” Tears wet his cheeks and Luhan only realized then that he was crying too.

“I gave up withholding my feelings, then Sehun showed up and ed everything up. It killed me to see him hurt you over and over, but I let it happen because you loved him. I never want to make the mistake of waiting too long.”

He pulled Luhan closer and hugged him tightly to his chest. Kai’s heart pounded against Luhan’s chest. He felt so many emotions coursing through him, but most of all he felt stupid. Kai was there all along and he was just too stupid to realize it.

“Kai I can’t…” Luhan hiccupped from crying. He hated himself so much, because even though he felt hope to be with Kai, Sehun still lurked in the depths of his heart. He loved Kai a lot longer than Sehun, yet in just eight short months he destroyed Luhan completely. He still loved Sehun.

“I’m not saying I want to start anything.” Kai whispered softly into his ear.

“I know it’s too soon for you, I know you still love Sehun.” Luhan blessed Kai’s ability to read him like a book so he didn’t have to say it, “But I couldn’t sit around waiting anymore. If I didn’t tell you know I feared I would never tell you. I love you Luhan.”

He pulled back and cupped both of his best friend’s cheeks. He gazed into the shorter’s eyes with nothing but admiration and love, pure and beautiful love. “I love you.”

More tears fell from Luhan’s eyes.

“I’m still your best friend no matter what. If you end up with someone jerk I’ll still be here, I’ll still love you. I just needed you to know that.”

He wiped Luhan’s tears away with his thumbs and pressed a tender kiss against his forehead before locking their hands together again.

“Now lets get you home, it’s starting to get late.”

The drive back was very silent. Luhan was still processing everything and Kai didn’t know what to say now. When they reached the apartment both of them just went inside and passed out in Luhan’s bed after exchanging mumbles of ‘goodnight’ and ‘night’.

When Luhan woke up again he found Kai still sound asleep. He studied his features carefully and admired how handsome Kai was. He loved how his body was toned but still very lean from dancing, and how his lips sat in a perfect pout when he slept. He looked so peaceful and breathtaking like this.

His pale fingers traced the outline of Kai’s face and trailed down to his neck and collar bones. Everything about him was perfect.

Without even thinking Luhan scooted closer and lightly pressed his lips to Kai’s. He wrapped his arms around the tan man and let his lips slowly mold against Kai’s. Warmth spread all over his body and he pulled away in surprise at his own actions.

Everything with Kai just felt so right.

Luhan quickly got out of bed, being careful not to wake up Kai, and tugged on some clothes. He cast one last look at the sleeping figure in his bed before he headed out and left the apartment. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number he thought about calling numerous time in the past two months, but this time was for a different reason.

“I know it’s late,” He said when the person answered, “But can we meet up somewhere?”

-

Sehun still looked like something out a magazine. He was tall and lean, his face one many envied and worshipped. He looked at Luhan with pity and annoyance, most likely because it was two in the morning and he probably assumed Luhan was here to beg for him to come back.

Luhan smiled at him awkwardly and took a deep breath to try and calm his pounding heart.

“What did you want in the middle of the night Luhan?” Sehun huffed and looked down at him. They were standing in small park they used to go to sometimes when they were together.

“I need you to do a favor for me.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and bit his lip.

Sehun looked a little confused. Clearly he was not expecting that.

“What do you want?”

Now or never.

Luhan took a deep breath in to calm himself, “I need you to kiss me.”

The taller looked shocked and a look of irritation crossed over his beautiful features, “Luhan I’m not getting back together with you-“

“I know that, I’m not asking you to.”

This made Sehun very lost. He stared down at his ex-boyfriend as if the shorter had lost his mind.

“What is this about Lu, I’m tired and it’s late as .”

Luhan rubbed his face with a hand and let his shoulders slump. He really didn’t want to explain this to Sehun, but if he needed to he would.

“Kai told me today he loves me.” Silence fell over them both.

“Uh okay, I still don’t understand why you need me to kiss you.”

“Kai is the only person left who matters to me,” Luhan looked up into Sehun’s eyes for the first time since meeting him there, “I can’t give him false hope if I’m still in love with you.”

A dawn of realization crossed over Sehun’s face. A frown settled on his lips but he nodded.

“Fine, but this kiss means nothing.”

Luhan gave a small nod and before he could say anything he was in Sehun’s arms. Theirs pressed together and Sehun moved their mouths together in a slow kiss. Heat warmed up inside of Luhan from the contact, but it was faint now.

Just today Kai caused his heart to swell more just by holding his hand than Sehun could do with a kiss.

And just like that Luhan knew.

His love for Kai was something so much bigger than what he felt for Sehun. Years of pining after his best friend, of being by his side but never truly being able to be together, it all rushed towards him and for the first time Luhan felt he was seeing clearly.

He fell deeply in love with Sehun because he thought Kai would never love him. He repressed his emotions for Kai and put his energy into Sehun, but what he felt for Sehun could never replace the immense love he developed for Kai over years of being friends.

Somewhere he still loved Sehun, but never as much as he loved Kai.

When they pulled apart Luhan was grinning like an idiot. He grabbed Sehun’s face and planted a quick peck on his lips.

“Thank you Hun, I hope we can be friends in the future.” He smiled and Sehun gave him the oddest look.

“What the hell Luhan-“

Luhan cut him off, “Gotta go, I have a boy asleep in my bed I need to confess to.” He turned and ran towards his apartment with Sehun staring at his figure with utter confusion.

Luhan didn’t stop running until he reached his front door. Sweat dripped off of his forehead and he was panting profusely, but he didn’t care. He unlocked the door as quickly as possible and ran to his room.

Kai was still sound asleep when Luhan jumped on the bed and shook him awake. His eyes opened slowly and gazed up at the older sleepily.

“Lu what-“

He barely had time to say anything before Luhan leaned down to press their lips together. Kai was shocked at first, but he was quick to move his lips and return Luhan’s passion ten fold. Their wraps wrapped around one another an everything felt right.

This was a kiss that left Luhan reeling. His heart exploded in a way Sehun could never make him feel. He felt so stupid for even thinking he could love someone more than Kai. The idiot in his arms, the young brat who took his ity and stuck by his side through everything was the one for him.

When they pulled apart for air Luhan pressed their foreheads together and looked directly into Kai’s eyes with a soft gaze. His hands cupped the tan male’s cheeks and he pressed another small peck onto those addictive lips.

“I love you too Kai.”